Every Hello Ends With A Goodbye

But you're so hypnotizing
You got me laughing while i sing
You got me smiling in my sleep
And I can see this unraveling
And your love is where I'm falling
But please don't catch me.

Every hello ends with a goodbye- that's how it's always been in my life. From my first best friend in 1st grade to my latest boyfriend who didn't give a rip.

Why can't I get someone who cares? Someone who can see who I really am.

Maybe it's just because I'm stupid. I fall for the wrong guys and they treat me bad. But, can you really tell your heart who to fall for, and who not to fall for? It just seems a little impossible in the realm of reality. Your heart does as it pleases, and lets you know who makes it feel butterflies, and most of the time you drop all instincts and your brain is filled with that person.

I think love is a series of trials. You have to make a few hundred mistakes, go out with a few hundred jerks, have your heart broken a few hundred times, so you can get to the person you really love. But, at every person, you never know if they will be the right one. The one who won't leave you. But, you have to trust your heart that this is a good thing, even if they leave.

On the other hand, I think you can have good judgment in some cases. Let your brain overpower your heart. Like say a guys asks you out and he has dated half the school. Well, your best instinct would be not to fall for him right? Yeah, that's what I thought so too...until I fell for him.

I, Jessica Layne, fell for the school jock.

[EndsxWithxAxGoodbye]

It all started last fall. I went to sit in my usual spot at lunch- a place outside the back of our school, that overlooks a big forest. It's so peaceful there, the birds flying high, the wind softly rustling the trees, it was my getaway.

It was different today though, usually I'm alone, but today someone else was there. That someone else being no other than Jared Shelton- Star quarterback of our football team.

I just bypassed him and sat in my usual place, trying to eat my lunch in peace.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, calmly.

I turned around, and replied, "I sit here everyday. I should be the one asking why Mr. Star Quarterback is sitting here all alone."

His eyebrow went up. "I need a break sometimes too. I mean don't get me wrong I love where I'm at, but the constant push to be perfect can get to your head."

I nodded, understanding. I turned back to my lunch, and he moved to beside me.

"It's so peaceful here." He stated.

"That's why I come here every day, to get away." I said, softly.

"What do you have to get away from? I mean you don't have people pressuring you from every direction." He asked.

"Unlike most people, school is my getaway. My getaway from my fighting parents and druggie sister. My life at home is a whole different story from my school life." I replied quietly, not knowing why i was telling him so much. "Sorry, I didn't need to tell you that."

"It's fine, everyone needs someone to vent to." He smiled softly.

He leaned down and kissed me. His hand went around my waist, like he was being careful I wouldn't fall apart. His other hand was in my hair. His lips were soft and sweet, gently caressing mine. I pulled back.

"I'm sorry, but this won't work." I said, quietly grabbing my bag. I got up and started to walk away, but he grabbed my waist pulling me back to him, so our waists were touching.

"Why can't this work, Jessica? I've known you for years. Ever since we were best friends in 3rd grade. What happened?" He looked at me, sadly.

"But, do you really know me? i mean, sure you knew me then. But, now you're the school jock, Jared. You've dated tons of other girls from out school, more than I can even count. How can I trust that this is real?" I asked.

"I dated those other girls to make you jealous. But, it never worked. I always thought the next girl would make you jealous, but it never worked. You're too good for that. But, I need you to trust me." He took a deep breath.

"I know your favorite colors sky blue, and you love to make shapes out of the clouds on a cloudy day. I know that your mom and dad are divorced, and your sister is the star cheerleader. I know that you don't give a shit about being popular, you just want to have fun in life. You think you're hair is an ugly brown, and your eyes are a dull blue. I think they are beautiful. You don't play sports, because you're not good at them, but you come to every football game. Most of all, I know that you are the most amazing girl in the world." He finished, and tears pricked my eyes.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know." I struggled out of his grasp, and walked back into the school.

[EndsxWithxAxGoodbye]

That night I sat staring at my ceiling for hours. i couldn't stop thinking about what he said. He cared, he actually cared. I mean what guy would say all that, and not care?

Finally, I got up. I knew what I had to do.

I parked my car in the school parking lot. and waited outside the locker room. Jared was always the last one in there. Finally, he walked out.

He saw me right away, and immediately asked. "What are you doing standing in the rain?"

I looked up at the sky, noticing for the first time it was raining. I shrugged, shivering.

"I was a jerk to you, I'm sorry." I whispered, rubbing my arms.

He put his hand on my cheek. "You're scared, I get that."

"I couldn't think about anything else all day! I was horrible to you, and I felt so bad. You said all those things an-" His lips cut me off, and this time I was into it.

He pushed me into the wall, and his hands gripped my waist tightly. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and played with his hair. He finally pulled away.

I pulled him back to me, shivering from the constant rain. He put his arms around me, and set his chin on my head. We stood their listening to the rain patter against the ground and our constant breathing.

"Your lips are blue." He said, worrying.

"I'm fine." I mumbled.

He picked me up and carried me inside his truck, setting me on the passenger seat, and sliding into the drivers seat. He pushed up the center consel and grabbed a blanket from the back, lying it over both of us. He intertwined our hands, and I set my head on his shoulder.

"Will you be my girlfriend, Jessica?" Looking into my eyes.

"Of course." I smiled.

And I knew this time, he was the one.

And if this is love
Please don't break me
I'm giving up
So just catch me.