Wonderful Life
Eleven
Week 11: Punky is just over 1 1/2 inches long, about the size of a fig, according to the pregnancy book that I lug with me everywhere. He or she is almost fully formed and soon, the hands will open and close into fists, tiny tooth buds are starting to appear under the gums and the bones are starting to harden. It also states that they're kicking and stretching, the movements are so effortless that they look like water ballet, and will continue as Punky grows. I won't feel them for another month or two, so there's a ways to go.
For me, Buddha....as I hate being called, I am much more energetic....I don't have to puke as much, and thankfully I don't have to make several trips to the bathroom. I've been able to eat what I want, and have gained about five pounds. And my appetite was returning, so much so that when I was hungry and craving something, I bugged Zacky into going to get me food, and he happily went for me.
As of the eleven week mark, I was more than half way out of my first trimester and about a few weeks away from my second. Sam was surprisingly adapting to everything. He and I had talked for a while, and we decided that a relationship was something that we could try. I knew that it wasn't going to be easy, and considering that he knew what Christian had done, he wasn't happy about that.
All in all, I wholeheartedly knew entirely that I wanted the baby to have a father figure, and was grateful when the guys were up to stepping in, but my mother also told me that there would come a time when I would have to let Christian in, and if he wanted to be a part of the baby's life, he had a right to as the father. I hadn't made up my mind when it came to deciding on that.
Surprisingly, Sam was quickly becoming attached to the baby, and I had no reason why. When I asked him, he said that he wanted a chance with me, and that there was more of me to have the chance to love and I felt like I could take that chance. Today, it was just me and Sam. I was just lounging around, since it was my day off and the guys, along with Colbie were out for a while. Today was a chance for us to talk and put things out there on the table.
"Gemma, I know that you might now want to talk about all of this now, but what happened with Christian?" He asked.
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "You remember how I mentioned that I lived in Wales? Well, I met Christian there when I was four. He was eight and he was my friend. I played with him, hung out with him and our friendship grew as we got older. Now, my parents, they may look like a glamorous couple on the red carpet, but they're not. I mean, don't get me wrong, they love each other, they just fight....A lot." I began.
"As I got older, it got to the point where I couldn't stand listening to them fight all the time, so I would sneak out of my house in the middle of the night, while they were fighting and go to Christian's house, and I'd sleep in his bed with him. I didn't think anything of it at the time, I just wanted comfort and some peace and quiet. Christian....He was like a brother to me, and little did I know, he thought of me as more than a sister." I added.
Sam nodded, waiting for me to continue. "Um, when I was eighteen, I was over at his house one night. We were watching movies and drinking, you know, just hanging out since we didn't want to go anywhere. And, well, he was twenty-two at the time and we were watching a movie and right in the middle of it, he kissed me. It progressed to a full make out session, but I stopped it and told him that I wasn't interested in him like that. And since then, he's been trying to convince me that we have a chance, that he was in love with me. And I didn't and don't feel the same way." I finished.
"So he finally decided to just take what he wanted." He said as I shifted on the couch.
I nodded. "He knew that had I been sober, or even a tiny bit drunk, I wouldn't have given in. I mean, I had never actually had sex with a guy, so when I woke up, disoriented and in pain, I knew that he had done something to me. And then I found out that I was pregnant. I was terrified, but I wasn't going to blame the baby for what it's father did. Yes, it's a horrible thing that happened, but some good came out of it. My parents are psyched to have a grandchild coming, and though I'm happy and scared, it's also a hard thing for me to deal with because, no matter who I want to be with, they have to accept the fact that instead of just me, there are two of us." I continued.
"Gemma, I never thought that I'd say this, but I don't mind. I don't care that you have a baby. I liked you before and I still like you. I feel like there's more between us already and that baby is a part of you and I want both of you. I know that it seems early to be saying something like this, I mean, we have only known each other for a short time, but I feel like you are it for me, you're the one." He replied.
I felt my eyes tear up. "Oh." I sniffled. "I would like that. I mean, that is if you can deal with a pushy, hormonal girl all the time. Not to mention, you have to charm the guys and Colbie off their feet."
"I think that I can manage. I'm just thankful that they take care of you." He answered.
~*~
Today was my ultrasound. Colbie was working, while the guys were out, so Papa Gates was kind enough to escort me to the doctor's office. He knew all about the trouble that I was in and I trusted him with my life. I had to drag my lazy bum out of bed, but finally made it, showering and changing into comfy clothes and after a short breakfast, we headed out.
"How is Mom today?" He asked, as we drove down the road.
I sighed. "Mom's pretty good. Although, I think that Punky has it pretty good, a nice warm, squishy water bed to hang out in." I replied, watching the scenery.
"Have you thought about what you're going to do? In terms of keeping Christian away?" He asked.
Running a hand over my stomach, I shrugged. "Whatever I can. I won't let him get away with what he did, and if I have to go to a judge, then I'll do it." I answered.
"Good girl. Now, are you ready to see that baby?" He asked, smiling.
I nodded, smiling back at him. "I definitely am." I announced.
Ten minutes after I checked in and filled out the necessary paperwork, a tiny blonde nurse led me to a room down in X-rays. She took my vitals, and then instructed me on what to do. And about ten minutes later, Dr. Hunter walked in, smiling.
"Gemma! It's good to see you! You look like you're doing well." He greeted us.
I nodded. "Yeah, I don't feel sick anymore, I have more energy, I'm great right now." I answered. He smiled at me and continued with the visit.
"Okay, Gemma, I'm going to have you lay back, and lift up your shirt." He said and I carefully laid back, getting comfortable, and lifting up my top. He turned on the ultrasound machine and sat at the side of the table.
Papa Gates held my hand as Dr. Hunter grabbed a white bottle and squirted a small amount of clear gel onto the lower portion of my bumpy stomach and set the mouse on the side of the table. As he typed the information in, I felt nerves overwhelm me. Dr. Hunter picked up the mouse and began moving it around in tiny circles, and as I looked at the screen, I saw a tiny little baby laying there, all curled up there, and it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, and heard the tiny little heartbeat coming from inside me. And when I heard that, I knew that everything was alright. I looked to Papa Gates, who had a smile on his face.
"Do you have any questions so far? New mothers always do." He asked, making me a few copies of the sonogram. I knew a few things about pregnancy, since I had to learn about them in nursing school, but I was too caught up with the sight of my baby.
I nodded. "Not at the moment. I was just wondering, about determining whether or not it was possible to find out the gender sooner than twenty weeks?" I asked.
He nodded yes, and then wiped my belly off. "You can. Is that something that you would be interested in doing?" He asked.
"I don't know. I'm not sure at the moment, but I will call and let you know." I replied, sitting up and pulling my shirt over my belly. With the help of Papa Gates, I slipped off the table and I headed out to schedule my next appointment. I was giddy, holding the copies of my sonogram and was happy, until I came face to face with a furious Christian.
He looked from Papa Gates, to me and then to the picture that was in my hand. "Is that....?" He began and I nodded.
"Yes, and no, you can't see it. You don't deserve to." I countered.
Christian shook his head. "You can't keep me from my child!" He bellowed, making a scene for everyone to see.
"Actually I can!" I seethed. "We're not married, we're not together. You assaulted me, not to mention you broke into my house, while I was home. I don't want you near my family, or my baby. Stay away, or I will go to the police!"
Just as I was about to walk away from him, Christian reached out and grabbed my wrist, tightening his grip. I knew that he wasn't going to pull anything in a crowded hospital, and Papa Gates wasn't going to let anything happen.
"Let go." I spat, and pulled out of his grasp.
He shook his head. "This isn't over, Gemma. You can't just push me out of our child's life." Christian hissed.
"You will stay away from me, and my child, otherwise, everyone will know what you did to me. I will turn you in to the police and you won't get to see the light of day for a very long time." I spat, turning and walking away from him.
~*~
Week 12: My books say that the baby's developing reflexes, that Punky's fingers will begin to open and close, their toes will curl, and all kinds of things were happening. It also said that if I prodded my abdomen, my baby would squirm in response, though I wasn't able to feel it. The baby looks human, and from their crown to their rump, the baby is just over two inches long, about the size of a lime and weighed half an ounce. Learning all about this was scary, but very helpful. I was grateful to the guys and to Colbie for taking care of me, making sure that I was away from Christian, who was proving to be a difficult person to handle. Had I not been pregnant, I would have dealt differently with him, but now that there's a life involved, I'm having to go the extra mile.
Dad said that he can do something about Christian, hesitant, but thinking about letting him. I want Christian out of my life, but he isn't relenting and I know I'm going to have to involve the law soon. Continuing with the belly shots, amazed to see how much my stomach has grown. Can't decide if I want a boy or a girl.
Almost ready for maternity clothes, though it doesn't look like it, it definitely feels like it. Hard to believe that I'm not a size four anymore, but a size eight. Love lounging around, eating everything that sounds good, and laying around in over sized clothes. I mainly borrow from the guys, and have yet to get my lazy bum off the couch and go shopping.
I was just getting off work, and Sam was going to take me out later. After telling the guys about Christian showing up at my doctor's appointment, they decided that someone had to be there, to make sure that he didn't follow me, or bother me. When I had told Brian, I thought that he was going to lose it, but Colbie surprised me by getting very angry, and she had a good reason to. She was always looking out for me.
"Gemma, you need to file the restraining order. You're not even halfway through the pregnancy and he's already causing you stress. It's not good for you or for the baby, I think that you need to contact your Dad and tell him." Colbie suggested.
I sighed, wondering how my life became such a mess and knew that she was right. "Okay, you're...You're right. I can't live like this. As much as I would like to make all of this go away, I can't." I relented, my head dropping in my hands.
"This will get better. You just need to get him away from you." She said, handing me my cell phone.
I took it from her hand and dialed my father. "Hey, Dad, yeah. I need your help." I replied.
~*~
Sam treated me to Italian, since I had a craving for pasta, and I was surprised at how much of a baby person he was. He would ask me questions, things about the baby, what I wanted to have, where I was going to live after I had given birth, if I was going to go back to school, to work, where I saw myself in a few years. I tried to answer them all as best as I could. There were just some questions that I didn't have an answer to.
Later on, we ended up at his place, an apartment that wasn't too far from my old house. I had called Colbie, letting her know where I was so they knew. I just sat there, talking to Sam and not feeling like a pregnant twenty-three year old, but a giggling teen who was on a date with a boy that she had a crush on.
"I know that you probably hate this question, but I was wondering if I could feel the baby?" He asked, smiling.
I grinned and scooted closer to him where he sat on the couch. "It doesn't really bother me. The guys do it all the time, so I pretty much have gotten used to my stomach being public property." I chimed, as he reached his hand out, and hesitated.
"Oh, give me your hand." I grumbled, reaching out and grabbing his wrist, setting it on my belly.
He smiled and moved closer. "See, was that so hard? I'm not breakable. I mean, yeah, I have to be careful, but I'm not porcelain." I replied.
"Have you felt any kicking yet?" He asked, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb.
I shook my head. "Nope. Not yet, though I think that when I'm about four to five months, I will. How is it that you're not freaking out about this? I mean, if I was a guy and the girl that I liked was pregnant with another guy's kid, I think that I would be questioning myself. What's so special about me? I'm just me." I asked.
I wanted to know what he was here for, if he was really serious about this, about moving forward, or if he was just doing this because he was feeling sorry for me.
"That first night I met you, two months ago, I was....I was more interested in you than I have been in years. I casually dated, you know, nothing serious, and when I thought about having a serious relationship, the other person was only interested in my fame or money, you know, my name. But you, you're different, you don't care about any of that, you're interested in me for me, hopefully." He explained, chuckling at that last part.
What he had said was one of the sweetest things that he'd ever said, and I had heard my fair share of lies and pickup lines. I felt safe with Sam, the guys and Colbie liked him, they trusted him and I knew that I wasn't just in this for a few dates. I wanted this for as long as I could have it.
"I like you, I really do. More so than I have liked any other guy in my life. But because of what Christian did to me, me getting pregnant, he's....He's fighting me to see this baby, he wants to be a part of their life and I have a feeling that I'm going to have to let him have time with his son or daughter, whether or not the guys, Colbie or you like that. Christian is serious about the three of us being a family, something that I don't want and I can tell you that this....Whatever relationship that we have, he's going to do his hardest to try and end that. He's gonna make you angry, he's gonna make you want to knock his block off, but you're gonna have to try and not do that." I explained, telling him that I was very much interested in seeing where this was going to go.
I smiled, and felt the overwhelming urge to kiss him. Sam was gorgeous, and a total dream. "I wanna kiss you." He said, looking at me.
"What are you waiting for then?" I asked, surprised at my attitude.
I felt like it was okay to actually open up to Sam, he was different from any other guy. He was someone that I could trust, who I was definitely interested in, both physically and emotionally. I felt like I could open up and tell him about anything, we got along well, we were practically friends already. Deep down, I wanted something more, I wanted to feel a connection to someone else again.
Slowly, his lips met mine and it was like all the tension that surrounded us before was unleashed and it quickly got hot and heavy. My top almost came off, but I got a clear head before any of the buttons were undone.
"Sam, I would really...I want to wait. I mean, at least until the time is right. I don't want to rush into anything. I really like you and I am very attracted to you, but I want to take this slow. I still have things to think through, not that you're something I'm unsure of." I said, and as he sat up, smiling at me.
He laughed. "I understand. I can wait." He replied.
~*~
Week 13: The last week of the first trimester! Punky's fingerprints have formed, and their veins and organs are visible through their still-thin skin and their head was catching up with their body. Punky is almost three inches long, basically the size of a medium shrimp and weighs nearly an ounce. Completely surreal, seeing as I look like I'm housing twins (Hope not, too much work for me).
Next week is the start of my second trimester! Goodbye fatigue and morning sickness, Hello energy! I was feeling way better, happier than ever. Restraining order against Christian went through and he is only allowed to be around me when I deem it necessary, which isn't much. The guys still want me to let them deal with him. It's a nice offer, but I'm not looking to have him dead, he is the baby's father. Sam is amazing, very involved with the baby, wanting to help out. Now, more than ever, I'm finding Sam irresistible and as much as I want to jump him, I'm following the rules that we have to know each other longer.
Sam was so adorable, he was wanting to help with everything that I was doing. I moved out of the house that I had before, putting it back on the market, and moving all of my heavier things back to my parents' house, while I was still staying with Brian and Colbie. I was happy, knowing that things were going well, but I knew that Christian wasn't going to back off much longer. He was insistent on being in the baby's life and though I knew that I should let him, I wasn't ready to even speak to him, as much as look at him.
Today, I planned to do some baby shopping, something that I had to get started on. My mother already had a room at her place, ready to be the baby's nursery, along with making sure that my old room was all set up. I hadn't planned on living at Brian and Colbie's forever, so I knew that I needed to get a place of my own set up, and running, so I would have a place for the baby.
Right now, I was walking through a Babies-R-Us, with Sam and Colbie, who were helping me with all the things that I was looking to get. I bought blankets, bibs, binkies, onesies, shoes, diapers, wipes, bottles, everything that you could think of. Colbie and I looked at the little items, grabbing the ones that we thought were cute, while Sam helped us get the bigger items, like the baby bath, the high chair and the stroller, the pack-n-play and the bouncy chair.
"This is so cute!" I said, holding up a pretty pink onesie. I had a feeling that the baby was going to be a girl, I just knew it.
As I was browsing the baby toys, looking at the rattles and squeaky toys, Colbie set a book in the front of the cart. It was a book of baby names.
"Oh! This was something that I almost forgot about!" I said, checking things off a list that I had in front of me.
Colbie smiled. "Names are something that you're going to be thinking about pretty soon. What do you want? A boy or girl?" She asked.
"I don't know. I'm pretty sure that the baby's going to be a girl. I mean, we're surrounded by boys. I think that we need another girl around here, don't you?" I mused.
She smiled. "He's good for you." She replied as we walked from aisle to aisle.
"Hmm?" I asked, pulled out of my daydreaming.
Colbie playfully rolled her eyes. "Sam. He's good for you. The guys and I like him, he makes you happy." She stated.
"I like him. A lot, and I think that he's the real thing. He doesn't care that Christian is the father of the baby. He wants the both of us and I think that I can be really happy with him. He's different from any other guy that I've dated and I think that we're going to be together for a long time." I replied, explaining how I felt.
~*~
Week 14: Punky can now squint, frown, grimace, pee and most likely suck their thumb. During the ultrasound, when Colbie and my mother went with me, we could see the baby sucking their thumb and we even snapped a picture of it. I was all giddy inside and couldn't believe that there was an actual baby that was inside me. Just when my stress levels were getting back to normal...Found out that Christian was snooping around, looking for me. Can't believe he won't take the hint. I can only hope that he backs off soon, otherwise, I will have to involve my father, and it won't be pretty. Punky is stretching out, from head to bottom, he measures 3 and 1/2 inches (About the size of a lemon) and they weigh 1 and half an ounces. Punky's body is more proportionate now and is developing lanugo, a fine, downy hair all over their body. And even though I can't feel it, Punky is kicking and moving their hands and feet. I can't wait until I actually feel them.
For me.....My energy is back, my body is less sore than before. The top of my uterus is above my pubic bone, which is pushing my tummy out a tad. Everyone was starting to see the bump that was forming and they were very hands on, though it didn't bother me since they were family. I can stand Colbie, Sam and Brian, not complete strangers. I was still planning what to do, with the nursery and where I was going to live. I want a place that Christian doesn't know about.
Today, I was spending the day with my mother, who had gone on a shopping bender, grabbing anything and well, everything that her heart desired, and that was everything pink, purple and girly. She was very confident that I was carrying a girl, while my father was praying for a little boy to spoil with baseball games and sports.
"Do you know what you want to have?" My mother asked as we at the table, looking through all things baby.
I shrugged, sipping my tea. "I don't know. I think that I'm having a girl, you know. Just that intuition, but I think that I would be happy with a boy if that's the case. I just...I don't care. I just want to protect my son or daughter from Christian, because all he would do was screw with me, and use them against me. I don't want my son or daughter to be a pawn in his game to win me over." I answered.
My mother sighed, brushing my hair out of my face. "Are you going to allow him to see his child? Spend time with them? No matter what he did, the baby shouldn't be punished by having their father out of their life." She asked.
"I will have to let him see the baby, but until I give birth, I want nothing to do with him. I'm not even sure that I want his name on the birth certificate, but he's going to insist that I put it on there anyways, and if I don't, he'll most likely take me to court." I answered.
Week 15: Punky was about four inches long and weighed 2 and a half ounces (roughly the size of an apple). They are moving around, still growing and I'm waiting to feel kicks. Everyone keeps touching my belly, asking me when I'm due. I hate telling everyone the same thing a million times, but I know that it's just them being curious. Potential due date is somewhere near the end of March, early April. Doc Hunter says that it depends on me, and because I'm so tiny, that he might have to do a C-section.
As for me.....I have gained ten pounds. Going from 110 to 115. I was experiencing nosebleeds, and that is not fun when I sit there, and am trying to talk to the guys or Colbie with a piece of paper up my nose. Sam thought that there was something wrong with me when my nose started bleeding, but after assuring him that it happened, he was totally back to normal.
Amniocentesis isn't far off, identifying hundreds of genetic and chromosomal disorders is something that I'm not too thrilled about, but Mom says that it's a good thing to do; I feel stressed, not just because of the whole situation with Christian, but with all the changes that are coming with this. My life is going to be totally different than before, and taking it one day at a time, is most likely the best thing.
I was still at my mother's house this week. It was my last day here, fixing up the room that would be the baby's nursery, and once I was done, I packed up my things for when Matt was going to come back and pick me up. I didn't trust Christian to not follow me, so I made sure that either one of the guys were able to pick me up.
I was just finishing up with everything when I heard my mother scolding someone. "No, you can't see her!" She spat.
"It's my baby too! I have just as much of a right to see her!" It was Christian.
I sighed in frustration and rolled my eyes. I walked into the living room from the kitchen and saw Christian there, arguing with my mother.
"What are you doing here? Didn't I tell you that I wanted nothing to do with you? Are you trying to deliberately screw with me?" I asked, irritated that he had the nerve to show his face.
He stepped in past my mother and his eyes landed straight on my belly. "Can....Can I?" He asked, eying the beige covered bump.
"Why should I let you? After what you did to me, why should you get to touch me? When I didn't want you to? I trusted you, I thought that you were a friend, that you would always look out for me, but I was very wrong. And what's worse, is that you don't have any regrets for what you did." I began and knew that he was going to butt in but I silenced him.
I held my hand up, stopping him. "Now, as much as you think it's because I want you, I don't." I explained, looking him straight in the eyes.
"Gemma, I want us to be a family. I want to marry you and raise the baby together. I want a life with you." He pleaded.
I shook my head. "I don't love you. I want to be with someone else, and you're going to have to deal with that." I added, making the whole deal clear.
"Fine. This isn't over." He said, eying me.
Without another word, Christian left and my mother turned to me. "I hope that you realize what's going to happen." She said, in a cryptic manner.
"What?" I asked, confused.
She sighed. "A baby can bond a couple, and no matter how they got here, you're going to have a special relationship with Christian that Colbie and Brian are going to have to deal with." She answered.
"I have Sam, and Christian is going to have to deal with it." I declared.
~*~
Later that evening, my father dropped me off back at Brian's and my heart nearly stopped at what I was seeing. Colbie was in bad shape and Brian had a pissed off expression on his face, and I knew who he was furious at.
Christian.
"What did he do?" I asked, dropping my things and sitting down beside her.
Colbie sighed. "He surprised me from behind. He attacked me and made sure that no one would witness it. Before he left me alone he warned me to tell him where you were, otherwise it would be my life on the line. I told him to go to hell. He didn't like that so he roughed me." She explained.
I shook my head, grabbing my phone. "He's not getting away with this. I'm calling my father's lawyer. I won't let him screw up all of our lives." I said, dialing the number.
"What are you going to do?" Brian asked.
I sighed. "What Christian wants is for me to forgive him and give into his little fantasy. I'm not going to let him do what he wants." I replied, and after setting up an appointment with a lawyer, I returned to where Colbie and Brian were.
"I can't believe that I didn't see this. Christian thinks that I can get over all of this and that we'll get married. He's wrong and I know for a fact that he'll fight for custody. But little does he know, he won't." I added.
Brian looked like he didn't understand. "What do you mean? I thought that once he signs the birth certificate, he's legally inclined to be around the baby." He inquired.
"No judge with a conscience would give someone like Christian custody over a child, that's his. Couple that with the fact that he drugged and raped me, broke into my house, and assaulted Colbie, he's not going to lay a finger on this baby." I answered.
Colbie nodded. "I'm thinking that a restraining order that covers both me and you, would be the best thing to do. No telling what he's going to do next. I mean, he's low enough to resort to kidnapping." She answered.
Brian and Gemma nodded in agreement. "Then that's what we'll do." Brian replied.
It was time that I got rid of Christian for good and though I knew that it would be a tough fight, it was worth it in the end, if my family was safe. I didn't want Brian or Colbie, or any of the rest of the guys in trouble for someone who was clearly out of his mind.
For me, Buddha....as I hate being called, I am much more energetic....I don't have to puke as much, and thankfully I don't have to make several trips to the bathroom. I've been able to eat what I want, and have gained about five pounds. And my appetite was returning, so much so that when I was hungry and craving something, I bugged Zacky into going to get me food, and he happily went for me.
As of the eleven week mark, I was more than half way out of my first trimester and about a few weeks away from my second. Sam was surprisingly adapting to everything. He and I had talked for a while, and we decided that a relationship was something that we could try. I knew that it wasn't going to be easy, and considering that he knew what Christian had done, he wasn't happy about that.
All in all, I wholeheartedly knew entirely that I wanted the baby to have a father figure, and was grateful when the guys were up to stepping in, but my mother also told me that there would come a time when I would have to let Christian in, and if he wanted to be a part of the baby's life, he had a right to as the father. I hadn't made up my mind when it came to deciding on that.
Surprisingly, Sam was quickly becoming attached to the baby, and I had no reason why. When I asked him, he said that he wanted a chance with me, and that there was more of me to have the chance to love and I felt like I could take that chance. Today, it was just me and Sam. I was just lounging around, since it was my day off and the guys, along with Colbie were out for a while. Today was a chance for us to talk and put things out there on the table.
"Gemma, I know that you might now want to talk about all of this now, but what happened with Christian?" He asked.
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "You remember how I mentioned that I lived in Wales? Well, I met Christian there when I was four. He was eight and he was my friend. I played with him, hung out with him and our friendship grew as we got older. Now, my parents, they may look like a glamorous couple on the red carpet, but they're not. I mean, don't get me wrong, they love each other, they just fight....A lot." I began.
"As I got older, it got to the point where I couldn't stand listening to them fight all the time, so I would sneak out of my house in the middle of the night, while they were fighting and go to Christian's house, and I'd sleep in his bed with him. I didn't think anything of it at the time, I just wanted comfort and some peace and quiet. Christian....He was like a brother to me, and little did I know, he thought of me as more than a sister." I added.
Sam nodded, waiting for me to continue. "Um, when I was eighteen, I was over at his house one night. We were watching movies and drinking, you know, just hanging out since we didn't want to go anywhere. And, well, he was twenty-two at the time and we were watching a movie and right in the middle of it, he kissed me. It progressed to a full make out session, but I stopped it and told him that I wasn't interested in him like that. And since then, he's been trying to convince me that we have a chance, that he was in love with me. And I didn't and don't feel the same way." I finished.
"So he finally decided to just take what he wanted." He said as I shifted on the couch.
I nodded. "He knew that had I been sober, or even a tiny bit drunk, I wouldn't have given in. I mean, I had never actually had sex with a guy, so when I woke up, disoriented and in pain, I knew that he had done something to me. And then I found out that I was pregnant. I was terrified, but I wasn't going to blame the baby for what it's father did. Yes, it's a horrible thing that happened, but some good came out of it. My parents are psyched to have a grandchild coming, and though I'm happy and scared, it's also a hard thing for me to deal with because, no matter who I want to be with, they have to accept the fact that instead of just me, there are two of us." I continued.
"Gemma, I never thought that I'd say this, but I don't mind. I don't care that you have a baby. I liked you before and I still like you. I feel like there's more between us already and that baby is a part of you and I want both of you. I know that it seems early to be saying something like this, I mean, we have only known each other for a short time, but I feel like you are it for me, you're the one." He replied.
I felt my eyes tear up. "Oh." I sniffled. "I would like that. I mean, that is if you can deal with a pushy, hormonal girl all the time. Not to mention, you have to charm the guys and Colbie off their feet."
"I think that I can manage. I'm just thankful that they take care of you." He answered.
~*~
Today was my ultrasound. Colbie was working, while the guys were out, so Papa Gates was kind enough to escort me to the doctor's office. He knew all about the trouble that I was in and I trusted him with my life. I had to drag my lazy bum out of bed, but finally made it, showering and changing into comfy clothes and after a short breakfast, we headed out.
"How is Mom today?" He asked, as we drove down the road.
I sighed. "Mom's pretty good. Although, I think that Punky has it pretty good, a nice warm, squishy water bed to hang out in." I replied, watching the scenery.
"Have you thought about what you're going to do? In terms of keeping Christian away?" He asked.
Running a hand over my stomach, I shrugged. "Whatever I can. I won't let him get away with what he did, and if I have to go to a judge, then I'll do it." I answered.
"Good girl. Now, are you ready to see that baby?" He asked, smiling.
I nodded, smiling back at him. "I definitely am." I announced.
Ten minutes after I checked in and filled out the necessary paperwork, a tiny blonde nurse led me to a room down in X-rays. She took my vitals, and then instructed me on what to do. And about ten minutes later, Dr. Hunter walked in, smiling.
"Gemma! It's good to see you! You look like you're doing well." He greeted us.
I nodded. "Yeah, I don't feel sick anymore, I have more energy, I'm great right now." I answered. He smiled at me and continued with the visit.
"Okay, Gemma, I'm going to have you lay back, and lift up your shirt." He said and I carefully laid back, getting comfortable, and lifting up my top. He turned on the ultrasound machine and sat at the side of the table.
Papa Gates held my hand as Dr. Hunter grabbed a white bottle and squirted a small amount of clear gel onto the lower portion of my bumpy stomach and set the mouse on the side of the table. As he typed the information in, I felt nerves overwhelm me. Dr. Hunter picked up the mouse and began moving it around in tiny circles, and as I looked at the screen, I saw a tiny little baby laying there, all curled up there, and it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, and heard the tiny little heartbeat coming from inside me. And when I heard that, I knew that everything was alright. I looked to Papa Gates, who had a smile on his face.
"Do you have any questions so far? New mothers always do." He asked, making me a few copies of the sonogram. I knew a few things about pregnancy, since I had to learn about them in nursing school, but I was too caught up with the sight of my baby.
I nodded. "Not at the moment. I was just wondering, about determining whether or not it was possible to find out the gender sooner than twenty weeks?" I asked.
He nodded yes, and then wiped my belly off. "You can. Is that something that you would be interested in doing?" He asked.
"I don't know. I'm not sure at the moment, but I will call and let you know." I replied, sitting up and pulling my shirt over my belly. With the help of Papa Gates, I slipped off the table and I headed out to schedule my next appointment. I was giddy, holding the copies of my sonogram and was happy, until I came face to face with a furious Christian.
He looked from Papa Gates, to me and then to the picture that was in my hand. "Is that....?" He began and I nodded.
"Yes, and no, you can't see it. You don't deserve to." I countered.
Christian shook his head. "You can't keep me from my child!" He bellowed, making a scene for everyone to see.
"Actually I can!" I seethed. "We're not married, we're not together. You assaulted me, not to mention you broke into my house, while I was home. I don't want you near my family, or my baby. Stay away, or I will go to the police!"
Just as I was about to walk away from him, Christian reached out and grabbed my wrist, tightening his grip. I knew that he wasn't going to pull anything in a crowded hospital, and Papa Gates wasn't going to let anything happen.
"Let go." I spat, and pulled out of his grasp.
He shook his head. "This isn't over, Gemma. You can't just push me out of our child's life." Christian hissed.
"You will stay away from me, and my child, otherwise, everyone will know what you did to me. I will turn you in to the police and you won't get to see the light of day for a very long time." I spat, turning and walking away from him.
~*~
Week 12: My books say that the baby's developing reflexes, that Punky's fingers will begin to open and close, their toes will curl, and all kinds of things were happening. It also said that if I prodded my abdomen, my baby would squirm in response, though I wasn't able to feel it. The baby looks human, and from their crown to their rump, the baby is just over two inches long, about the size of a lime and weighed half an ounce. Learning all about this was scary, but very helpful. I was grateful to the guys and to Colbie for taking care of me, making sure that I was away from Christian, who was proving to be a difficult person to handle. Had I not been pregnant, I would have dealt differently with him, but now that there's a life involved, I'm having to go the extra mile.
Dad said that he can do something about Christian, hesitant, but thinking about letting him. I want Christian out of my life, but he isn't relenting and I know I'm going to have to involve the law soon. Continuing with the belly shots, amazed to see how much my stomach has grown. Can't decide if I want a boy or a girl.
Almost ready for maternity clothes, though it doesn't look like it, it definitely feels like it. Hard to believe that I'm not a size four anymore, but a size eight. Love lounging around, eating everything that sounds good, and laying around in over sized clothes. I mainly borrow from the guys, and have yet to get my lazy bum off the couch and go shopping.
I was just getting off work, and Sam was going to take me out later. After telling the guys about Christian showing up at my doctor's appointment, they decided that someone had to be there, to make sure that he didn't follow me, or bother me. When I had told Brian, I thought that he was going to lose it, but Colbie surprised me by getting very angry, and she had a good reason to. She was always looking out for me.
"Gemma, you need to file the restraining order. You're not even halfway through the pregnancy and he's already causing you stress. It's not good for you or for the baby, I think that you need to contact your Dad and tell him." Colbie suggested.
I sighed, wondering how my life became such a mess and knew that she was right. "Okay, you're...You're right. I can't live like this. As much as I would like to make all of this go away, I can't." I relented, my head dropping in my hands.
"This will get better. You just need to get him away from you." She said, handing me my cell phone.
I took it from her hand and dialed my father. "Hey, Dad, yeah. I need your help." I replied.
~*~
Sam treated me to Italian, since I had a craving for pasta, and I was surprised at how much of a baby person he was. He would ask me questions, things about the baby, what I wanted to have, where I was going to live after I had given birth, if I was going to go back to school, to work, where I saw myself in a few years. I tried to answer them all as best as I could. There were just some questions that I didn't have an answer to.
Later on, we ended up at his place, an apartment that wasn't too far from my old house. I had called Colbie, letting her know where I was so they knew. I just sat there, talking to Sam and not feeling like a pregnant twenty-three year old, but a giggling teen who was on a date with a boy that she had a crush on.
"I know that you probably hate this question, but I was wondering if I could feel the baby?" He asked, smiling.
I grinned and scooted closer to him where he sat on the couch. "It doesn't really bother me. The guys do it all the time, so I pretty much have gotten used to my stomach being public property." I chimed, as he reached his hand out, and hesitated.
"Oh, give me your hand." I grumbled, reaching out and grabbing his wrist, setting it on my belly.
He smiled and moved closer. "See, was that so hard? I'm not breakable. I mean, yeah, I have to be careful, but I'm not porcelain." I replied.
"Have you felt any kicking yet?" He asked, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb.
I shook my head. "Nope. Not yet, though I think that when I'm about four to five months, I will. How is it that you're not freaking out about this? I mean, if I was a guy and the girl that I liked was pregnant with another guy's kid, I think that I would be questioning myself. What's so special about me? I'm just me." I asked.
I wanted to know what he was here for, if he was really serious about this, about moving forward, or if he was just doing this because he was feeling sorry for me.
"That first night I met you, two months ago, I was....I was more interested in you than I have been in years. I casually dated, you know, nothing serious, and when I thought about having a serious relationship, the other person was only interested in my fame or money, you know, my name. But you, you're different, you don't care about any of that, you're interested in me for me, hopefully." He explained, chuckling at that last part.
What he had said was one of the sweetest things that he'd ever said, and I had heard my fair share of lies and pickup lines. I felt safe with Sam, the guys and Colbie liked him, they trusted him and I knew that I wasn't just in this for a few dates. I wanted this for as long as I could have it.
"I like you, I really do. More so than I have liked any other guy in my life. But because of what Christian did to me, me getting pregnant, he's....He's fighting me to see this baby, he wants to be a part of their life and I have a feeling that I'm going to have to let him have time with his son or daughter, whether or not the guys, Colbie or you like that. Christian is serious about the three of us being a family, something that I don't want and I can tell you that this....Whatever relationship that we have, he's going to do his hardest to try and end that. He's gonna make you angry, he's gonna make you want to knock his block off, but you're gonna have to try and not do that." I explained, telling him that I was very much interested in seeing where this was going to go.
I smiled, and felt the overwhelming urge to kiss him. Sam was gorgeous, and a total dream. "I wanna kiss you." He said, looking at me.
"What are you waiting for then?" I asked, surprised at my attitude.
I felt like it was okay to actually open up to Sam, he was different from any other guy. He was someone that I could trust, who I was definitely interested in, both physically and emotionally. I felt like I could open up and tell him about anything, we got along well, we were practically friends already. Deep down, I wanted something more, I wanted to feel a connection to someone else again.
Slowly, his lips met mine and it was like all the tension that surrounded us before was unleashed and it quickly got hot and heavy. My top almost came off, but I got a clear head before any of the buttons were undone.
"Sam, I would really...I want to wait. I mean, at least until the time is right. I don't want to rush into anything. I really like you and I am very attracted to you, but I want to take this slow. I still have things to think through, not that you're something I'm unsure of." I said, and as he sat up, smiling at me.
He laughed. "I understand. I can wait." He replied.
~*~
Week 13: The last week of the first trimester! Punky's fingerprints have formed, and their veins and organs are visible through their still-thin skin and their head was catching up with their body. Punky is almost three inches long, basically the size of a medium shrimp and weighs nearly an ounce. Completely surreal, seeing as I look like I'm housing twins (Hope not, too much work for me).
Next week is the start of my second trimester! Goodbye fatigue and morning sickness, Hello energy! I was feeling way better, happier than ever. Restraining order against Christian went through and he is only allowed to be around me when I deem it necessary, which isn't much. The guys still want me to let them deal with him. It's a nice offer, but I'm not looking to have him dead, he is the baby's father. Sam is amazing, very involved with the baby, wanting to help out. Now, more than ever, I'm finding Sam irresistible and as much as I want to jump him, I'm following the rules that we have to know each other longer.
Sam was so adorable, he was wanting to help with everything that I was doing. I moved out of the house that I had before, putting it back on the market, and moving all of my heavier things back to my parents' house, while I was still staying with Brian and Colbie. I was happy, knowing that things were going well, but I knew that Christian wasn't going to back off much longer. He was insistent on being in the baby's life and though I knew that I should let him, I wasn't ready to even speak to him, as much as look at him.
Today, I planned to do some baby shopping, something that I had to get started on. My mother already had a room at her place, ready to be the baby's nursery, along with making sure that my old room was all set up. I hadn't planned on living at Brian and Colbie's forever, so I knew that I needed to get a place of my own set up, and running, so I would have a place for the baby.
Right now, I was walking through a Babies-R-Us, with Sam and Colbie, who were helping me with all the things that I was looking to get. I bought blankets, bibs, binkies, onesies, shoes, diapers, wipes, bottles, everything that you could think of. Colbie and I looked at the little items, grabbing the ones that we thought were cute, while Sam helped us get the bigger items, like the baby bath, the high chair and the stroller, the pack-n-play and the bouncy chair.
"This is so cute!" I said, holding up a pretty pink onesie. I had a feeling that the baby was going to be a girl, I just knew it.
As I was browsing the baby toys, looking at the rattles and squeaky toys, Colbie set a book in the front of the cart. It was a book of baby names.
"Oh! This was something that I almost forgot about!" I said, checking things off a list that I had in front of me.
Colbie smiled. "Names are something that you're going to be thinking about pretty soon. What do you want? A boy or girl?" She asked.
"I don't know. I'm pretty sure that the baby's going to be a girl. I mean, we're surrounded by boys. I think that we need another girl around here, don't you?" I mused.
She smiled. "He's good for you." She replied as we walked from aisle to aisle.
"Hmm?" I asked, pulled out of my daydreaming.
Colbie playfully rolled her eyes. "Sam. He's good for you. The guys and I like him, he makes you happy." She stated.
"I like him. A lot, and I think that he's the real thing. He doesn't care that Christian is the father of the baby. He wants the both of us and I think that I can be really happy with him. He's different from any other guy that I've dated and I think that we're going to be together for a long time." I replied, explaining how I felt.
~*~
Week 14: Punky can now squint, frown, grimace, pee and most likely suck their thumb. During the ultrasound, when Colbie and my mother went with me, we could see the baby sucking their thumb and we even snapped a picture of it. I was all giddy inside and couldn't believe that there was an actual baby that was inside me. Just when my stress levels were getting back to normal...Found out that Christian was snooping around, looking for me. Can't believe he won't take the hint. I can only hope that he backs off soon, otherwise, I will have to involve my father, and it won't be pretty. Punky is stretching out, from head to bottom, he measures 3 and 1/2 inches (About the size of a lemon) and they weigh 1 and half an ounces. Punky's body is more proportionate now and is developing lanugo, a fine, downy hair all over their body. And even though I can't feel it, Punky is kicking and moving their hands and feet. I can't wait until I actually feel them.
For me.....My energy is back, my body is less sore than before. The top of my uterus is above my pubic bone, which is pushing my tummy out a tad. Everyone was starting to see the bump that was forming and they were very hands on, though it didn't bother me since they were family. I can stand Colbie, Sam and Brian, not complete strangers. I was still planning what to do, with the nursery and where I was going to live. I want a place that Christian doesn't know about.
Today, I was spending the day with my mother, who had gone on a shopping bender, grabbing anything and well, everything that her heart desired, and that was everything pink, purple and girly. She was very confident that I was carrying a girl, while my father was praying for a little boy to spoil with baseball games and sports.
"Do you know what you want to have?" My mother asked as we at the table, looking through all things baby.
I shrugged, sipping my tea. "I don't know. I think that I'm having a girl, you know. Just that intuition, but I think that I would be happy with a boy if that's the case. I just...I don't care. I just want to protect my son or daughter from Christian, because all he would do was screw with me, and use them against me. I don't want my son or daughter to be a pawn in his game to win me over." I answered.
My mother sighed, brushing my hair out of my face. "Are you going to allow him to see his child? Spend time with them? No matter what he did, the baby shouldn't be punished by having their father out of their life." She asked.
"I will have to let him see the baby, but until I give birth, I want nothing to do with him. I'm not even sure that I want his name on the birth certificate, but he's going to insist that I put it on there anyways, and if I don't, he'll most likely take me to court." I answered.
Week 15: Punky was about four inches long and weighed 2 and a half ounces (roughly the size of an apple). They are moving around, still growing and I'm waiting to feel kicks. Everyone keeps touching my belly, asking me when I'm due. I hate telling everyone the same thing a million times, but I know that it's just them being curious. Potential due date is somewhere near the end of March, early April. Doc Hunter says that it depends on me, and because I'm so tiny, that he might have to do a C-section.
As for me.....I have gained ten pounds. Going from 110 to 115. I was experiencing nosebleeds, and that is not fun when I sit there, and am trying to talk to the guys or Colbie with a piece of paper up my nose. Sam thought that there was something wrong with me when my nose started bleeding, but after assuring him that it happened, he was totally back to normal.
Amniocentesis isn't far off, identifying hundreds of genetic and chromosomal disorders is something that I'm not too thrilled about, but Mom says that it's a good thing to do; I feel stressed, not just because of the whole situation with Christian, but with all the changes that are coming with this. My life is going to be totally different than before, and taking it one day at a time, is most likely the best thing.
I was still at my mother's house this week. It was my last day here, fixing up the room that would be the baby's nursery, and once I was done, I packed up my things for when Matt was going to come back and pick me up. I didn't trust Christian to not follow me, so I made sure that either one of the guys were able to pick me up.
I was just finishing up with everything when I heard my mother scolding someone. "No, you can't see her!" She spat.
"It's my baby too! I have just as much of a right to see her!" It was Christian.
I sighed in frustration and rolled my eyes. I walked into the living room from the kitchen and saw Christian there, arguing with my mother.
"What are you doing here? Didn't I tell you that I wanted nothing to do with you? Are you trying to deliberately screw with me?" I asked, irritated that he had the nerve to show his face.
He stepped in past my mother and his eyes landed straight on my belly. "Can....Can I?" He asked, eying the beige covered bump.
"Why should I let you? After what you did to me, why should you get to touch me? When I didn't want you to? I trusted you, I thought that you were a friend, that you would always look out for me, but I was very wrong. And what's worse, is that you don't have any regrets for what you did." I began and knew that he was going to butt in but I silenced him.
I held my hand up, stopping him. "Now, as much as you think it's because I want you, I don't." I explained, looking him straight in the eyes.
"Gemma, I want us to be a family. I want to marry you and raise the baby together. I want a life with you." He pleaded.
I shook my head. "I don't love you. I want to be with someone else, and you're going to have to deal with that." I added, making the whole deal clear.
"Fine. This isn't over." He said, eying me.
Without another word, Christian left and my mother turned to me. "I hope that you realize what's going to happen." She said, in a cryptic manner.
"What?" I asked, confused.
She sighed. "A baby can bond a couple, and no matter how they got here, you're going to have a special relationship with Christian that Colbie and Brian are going to have to deal with." She answered.
"I have Sam, and Christian is going to have to deal with it." I declared.
~*~
Later that evening, my father dropped me off back at Brian's and my heart nearly stopped at what I was seeing. Colbie was in bad shape and Brian had a pissed off expression on his face, and I knew who he was furious at.
Christian.
"What did he do?" I asked, dropping my things and sitting down beside her.
Colbie sighed. "He surprised me from behind. He attacked me and made sure that no one would witness it. Before he left me alone he warned me to tell him where you were, otherwise it would be my life on the line. I told him to go to hell. He didn't like that so he roughed me." She explained.
I shook my head, grabbing my phone. "He's not getting away with this. I'm calling my father's lawyer. I won't let him screw up all of our lives." I said, dialing the number.
"What are you going to do?" Brian asked.
I sighed. "What Christian wants is for me to forgive him and give into his little fantasy. I'm not going to let him do what he wants." I replied, and after setting up an appointment with a lawyer, I returned to where Colbie and Brian were.
"I can't believe that I didn't see this. Christian thinks that I can get over all of this and that we'll get married. He's wrong and I know for a fact that he'll fight for custody. But little does he know, he won't." I added.
Brian looked like he didn't understand. "What do you mean? I thought that once he signs the birth certificate, he's legally inclined to be around the baby." He inquired.
"No judge with a conscience would give someone like Christian custody over a child, that's his. Couple that with the fact that he drugged and raped me, broke into my house, and assaulted Colbie, he's not going to lay a finger on this baby." I answered.
Colbie nodded. "I'm thinking that a restraining order that covers both me and you, would be the best thing to do. No telling what he's going to do next. I mean, he's low enough to resort to kidnapping." She answered.
Brian and Gemma nodded in agreement. "Then that's what we'll do." Brian replied.
It was time that I got rid of Christian for good and though I knew that it would be a tough fight, it was worth it in the end, if my family was safe. I didn't want Brian or Colbie, or any of the rest of the guys in trouble for someone who was clearly out of his mind.