Wonderful Life

Sam was recovering well. He still needed to stay within the hospital for observation of the doctors, but things were looking good for him. During my week long break I had gone to lunch with Kellan twice. He seemed really nice and genuine, but the best part was that he was funny. I also had gone to Jimmy's grave to drop off some flowers for him. I told him, knowing that he could hear me in spirit, my concerns with my new position of being an ER nurse. I knew that it was what I wanted and initially signed up for, but something felt off about it. Dr. Richards was nice, but after I had talked to other nurses who had recently been hired, none of them had gotten the special treatment that he had given me.

After I had left Jimmy's grave I had to talk to one of my brothers about my suspicions. I wanted their input on the whole situation. I couldn't help but think something darker was at hand. As I was leaving the cemetery I had ran into Kellan, which had prompted that second lunch date. He kept asking me why I was in there, but I couldn't tell him. I couldn't trust him enough just yet. Especially not after that whole conversation I overheard him and Nikki were having when he was at the hospital. My life felt like it was spiraling out of control. Gemma was becoming distant from me, which meant she was hiding something and I didn't like that at all.

I had finally found four members for my band that I wanted to start. We hadn't figured out a name, but we had all agreed to use stage names. I told them that I had gotten the idea from my brother and they liked it so they agreed. Part of that whole using stage names came from Jimmy since he had customized a set of drumsticks for me with Angel Gates on it. He had been such a character. I missed him a lot. I missed his loud infectious laughter the most. It showed how carefree he usually was with everything.

Kellan didn't seem to mind that I had to cut the second lunch date short. I found that rather interesting indeed. Most guys would have grumbled or demanded where the girl was going. He was a person who started tugging on my heart strings and I didn't particularly care for it at all. When I had gotten home that day I was glad to see Matt there. I knew that Brian deserved to know my worries, but he was way more overprotective of me than the others were.

"Hey, Mattie can we talk," I asked him.

"Sure, what about," he asked.

"Uh, alone, I need to talk to you alone," I said motioning to the stairs.

Brian shot me a puzzled look, but shrugged and headed into the kitchen. I headed up the stairs fully aware that Matt was following me. I entered my room and he followed my actions. I turned around as he closed the door.

"What's wrong Colbie?" he asked.

"Something's off about my new boss Dr. Richards," I told him.

"He seems rather nice to me," he said.

"Yeah, but I talked to all the other recently hired nurses and not one has gotten the special treatment that I got," I said.

"What do you mean?" he wondered.

"I mean not one of the nurses I work with was offered a week long break just to recuperate from long hours, not one of the nurses had crazy hours like I did to begin with," I explained.

"What do you think is going on with him?" he wondered.

"I'm not sure, but at first when I was just a fill in he seemed nice and sincere. He let me play a prank on a patient there. It's why I asked to change sections in the first place. Donovan is a good doctor, I will never say he isn't, his attitude is just all wrong. Sort of like Mark Sloan of Grey's Anatomy where all he wants is sex or something," I said.

Matt grinned at that analogy, like I knew he would. "If you think something's off, then just lie low for awhile. Just do your job and don't draw too much attention to yourself. You know I'm here for you if you ever need me to be," he said.

I smiled at him and then hugged him tightly. He's always been my third favorite older brother figure. Brian was and will always be first, Jimmy was always second, and then Matt. Zacky and Johnny were tied for fourth. I loved them all.

After my talk with Matt I was able to tamp down my fears a little bit. When I had returned to work my hours weren't as bad as they were before. I was still working long hours, but I didn't have as much work to do as did before. It sucked really. I liked to stay busy all the time. Not being busy just meant that I was bored and looking for work. When I wasn't doing things down in the ER I was up in the pediatric ward helping out there. I was literally working my ass off. Being a nurse allowed me to have good money saved up. It provided for a lot of the stuff that my band was going to do and that was a plus.

Weeks passed since my initial lunch dates with Kellan. We had a few more here and there when I wasn't too busy. He stopped in at the hospital during my breaks since he managed to memorize it. I started feeling as if he was stalking me, but he promised that he wasn't. He just said that he enjoyed talking to me, but because of my constant working hours at the hospital it was hard to talk to me. I could understand that completely though. My brother told me that I had to slow down and that if I didn't something was going to go wrong. I didn't believe him.

I was working the graveyard shift for the fourth time this current week and I was dead on my feet. I was drinking a lot of water just to keep myself awake. Sometimes I would drink Gatorade since it held a bit of sugar and kept me going as well. I wouldn't touch caffeine. It baffled my brother and his friends all the time, but they didn't pressure me into drinking caffeine. I would drink alcohol sometimes, but definitely not as much as my brothers did. I was usually the dedicated driver for them, so it was all good.

Tonight felt completely different to me for some reason. As I was going through the hallways I noticed that a lot of nurses weren't walking around. Not many enjoyed doing the graveyard shift, but if it paid bills, it paid bills. I felt off though about working here without many other nurses. It made the hospital seem too eerie for me. My shift was almost over, but at the current moment I had to go see Dr. Richards. He had asked me to come see him about something, but I wasn't sure what about.

I felt a trickle of fear curl over my spine as if trying to make me afraid, but I had to keep cool. I had to believe that nothing was going to happen. When I reached Dr. Richards's office I took a deep breath before knocking on the door.

"Come in," his voice echoed through the door.

I took another deep breath as I placed my hand on the door knob. It took about three more deep breaths before I actually managed to open the door. I couldn't understand why my nerves were so high tonight, but they were and it wasn't helping me at all. I walked into the room and closed the door behind me, but I didn't move away from the door once it was closed.

"You wanted to see me," I asked him.

"Yes, I wanted to talk to you about some stuff. Please come in and sit down," he said with a warm smile on his face.

I hesitated unsure if I should or not. Finally, I decided that I would. I didn't want to look too scared despite what my brain was trying to tell me. I sat down on the chair in front of his desk, but stayed perched at the edge of it. I was nervous, but I hoped my nervousness didn't show through.

******

I stumbled through the hospital unsure of my current surroundings. I felt completely violated, but didn't know exactly why. My thoughts were so incoherent and my body was so sore. I tried to keep my balance, but it was a little hard. There were no other nurses roaming the hallways and I was happy about that. I don't think I could handle the staring that they would get. Sometimes I wished that I had trust my gut feelings more than I did.
When I finally made it to the front of the hospital without a care in the world about changing my clothes I continued to go outside. I could feel my phone ringing silently in my pocket, but my hands were shaking too much to try and retrieve it. My vision was slightly blurry, but I couldn't seem to figure out why.

"Colbie," a voice said.

I whirled around and almost shrieked in shock. Kellan was standing there underneath a pool of light. I had made sure to avoid all puddles of light in case someone might recognize me. "Are you okay?" he asked me. I continued to stare at him hoping that he wouldn't come any closer. There was movement behind him and that almost set me off as well. He turned slightly, but then refocused his attention on me.

"Colbie," a feminine voice joined the group. I recognized that voice. I closed my eyes trying to keep out all the bad thoughts going through my head at the moment. When I opened them I saw Nikki standing just behind Kellan with a look of concern etched on her face. I couldn't hold it anymore. I doubled over and vomited all over the concrete in front of me. After the second time my stomach decided to come up on me I felt a little better.

"Colbie, are you okay," Nikki's voice asked gently.

I looked up at her through my bangs. My crystal grey eyes holding so much fear and doubt. Barely managing to straighten my body, my breathing heavy from just vomiting, I give her a tight nod. I hoped she believed me, but by the look on her face she didn't.

"Colbie, why don't you come into the light?" she suggested.

I shook my head vehemently. I didn't want them to see me like this. I couldn't. It was too painful and too embarrassing. I felt a hand on my arm and tried to fight it off, but the grip was too strong for me to fight against. I held in my whimper of fear. I'm never like this, but I really hate this feeling. Being dragged around the splatter of vomit I am placed right in the middle of the light smack dab in front of Kellan.

"Oh My God, Colbie what the hell happened?" he exclaimed.

I couldn't say it. Instead my knees gave out as I started to finally cry. Kellan caught me and helped ease me onto the ground. He brushed hair out of my face and even placed a kiss on my temple.

"Colbie, you need to go back to the hospital and get checked out," Nikki said kneeling next to them.

"I-I-I c-c-can't g-g-go b-b-back th-th-there," I said through hiccupping sobs.

"Alright, we'll take you to Long Beach General Hospital, is that alright," Kellan whispered.

I nodded my head against his chest and he helped me stand up. He led me to a car and helped me inside. He sat next to me in the back while Nikki drove the twenty minutes to Long Beach General. I was afraid of what Brian would say, but I knew that I would have to tell him. I knew that I would have to tell Matt too. The one person I really wanted with me right now couldn't be. He was gone, but I really needed him. I absently played with my locket knowing that he was with me in spirit.I was happy knowing that if he were here than he would be taking care of me and making sure Brian wouldn't be going berserk on people.

Nikki stopped at the hospital and Kellan helped me out of the car. He gently guided me into the hospital where a gaggle of nurses immediately swarmed around me. I wouldn't let Kellan go, so he followed us into a private room with a door. A nurse took pictures of my injuries while another one instructed me to take my clothes off so that they could some tests on it. Kellan had turned away when I did, but I was behind a curtain so t was okay. I was handed a generic hospital gown when another nurse came around the screen.

"Honey, do you need a rape kit," she asked in a gentle whisper.

I couldn’t speak it out loud so I just nodded my head. She gave me an apologetic look and went to retrieve the essential tools. I knew what a rape kit consisted of. I had done them a few times for young girls. They responded to me the most so I was normally in charge of giving them to rape victims. I never would have thought that I would be a victim one day. Kellan was asked to leave the room, but Nikki replaced him soon. She held my hand has an OBGYN did all the necessary work on my lower regions. It was painful, but I knew that it was necessary. Nikki stayed by my side as I knew Gemma would do the same if she had known. I couldn't tell her about this. This would totally freak her out and bring back some really horrible memories.

A nurse handed me a two pills. I looked at them and realized that they were the morning after pills. She handed me a glass of water and I immediately swallowed them without hesitation. I was aware that Gemma could have taken the morning after pill too, but she was a lot more timid than I was. If by chance I did get pregnant I would abort the child. I never believed in abortion, but I wouldn't be able to stand looking at my child without reliving this nightmare all over again. I wouldn't even be able to live with the fact that my child might come looking for me in the future. I didn't want to give myself a reminder of something that shouldn't have happened at all.

Another hand squeezed my other hand I looked over to see Kellan in the room again. He smiled somberly at me as my feet were taken down from the stirrups. Since the rape kit was complete I could leave and take a shower. I needed one. I really needed one at the moment, but I knew that the police would want a statement. I couldn't live another day
knowing that my attacker was still working or still out there. It didn't feel right.

"Colbie, two officers would like to get your statement," Kellan whispered.

I nodded my head and he went to get them from the hallway. Not even three seconds later he was back followed by two officers. Unfortunately, I knew these two and they knew me as well. I shot them a glare and they almost recoiled in shock.

"Don't you dare tell my brother," I hissed at them.

They nodded their heads in understanding. My brother happened to know them also, so I was hoping that they would keep their mouths shut. They took my statement and assured me that they would bring my attacker to justice. I trusted these guys because they were legit cops who actually wanted to make the streets a better place for everyone. After they left I took my cell phone that had been in my scrubs pocket and opened it up.

I had about ten voicemails and thirty different text messages from my brother, Matt, Zacky, Johnny, and Gemma as well. They all mostly said the same thing. They wanted to know where I was and that they were worried about me. I deleted the messages without replying to any of them and I deleted all the voicemails too without listening to all of them.

I looked over at Kellan and Nikki and they smiled at me. They were pity smiles. I knew that and I could tell from their eyes that they were pity smiles. I sighed heavily trying to figure out which one of my family members that I could call. After about a good ten minutes or so I had made up my decision. I flipped my phone open and dialed the number.

"Hello," a tired feminine voice answered.

"Val?" I asked in a whisper.

"Who is this?" she asked.

"Val, it's Colbie, is Matt there," I asked her.

"Uh, yeah hold on a sec," she answered through a yawn.

I waited patiently. I knew Matt was a deep sleeper, but I hoped that he would get the hint. "Hello," his gruff voice answered.

"Mattie, I need your help," I said trying to hold back my tears.

"Colbie?" he asked.

"Yeah, but I need your help, can you come get me," I asked.

"Yeah, you're at the hospital working right," he said and I could hear movement as if he was getting up to pull some clothes on.

"No, I'm at Long Beach General," I mumbled.

"What?" he asked.

"I'm at Long Beach General," I answered again.

"Why are you there?" he wondered.

"I'll tell you when you get here. Please hurry," I said fighting really hard to keep my tears at bay.

"Alright baby girl, I'll hurry. Just hang tight okay," he said sounding really sincere.

"Okay, and Mattie," I said.

"Yeah?" he wondered.

"Please don't tell Brian about this. Please come alone," I told him.

"Okay, whatever you want. I'll come alone and I won't tell Brian," he said.

"Thank you," I said hanging up.

I leaned back into the bed with a heavy sigh. I looked at two of my friends and they walked closer to my bed. They each gave me a hug, but didn't leave. I couldn't be alone right now.

"Colbie, what happened," Nikki asked.

"I know you're trying to help, Nikki, and I appreciate that, but I can't talk about it right now," I said truthfully.

"Okay, but don't shut us out. We are here for you," she said giving me another hug.

I hugged her back thanking her for helping me out this far. I had to wait for Matt to come pick me up. A nurse came in with a set of scrubs for me to change into so I was more comfortable for when I left. I didn't want to tell Matt to bring me any clothes, because then he wouldn't keep his mouth shut to Brian and I couldn't have Brian fawning all over me with worry at the moment. I was too weak and fragile and I couldn't break down in front of my brother no matter how close we were.

After I changed I felt a lot better and lot less exposed to the world. I thought I would have to wait longer than I did, but I didn't. Apparently, something in my voice scared the shit out of Matt, because about thirty minutes after my phone call to him he was here. I could hear him yelling at nurses and doctors to let him see me. I shot Kellan a look and he nodded and left the room. He must have understood that I wanted him to go and get Matt for me. Ten minutes later the door to my room was opened with a loud bang.

"Oh God, Colbie, what the hell happened," Matt's urgent voice asked.

I looked at him and just looking at him made me start to cry. He pulled me into a hug and I clung to him just like I had clung to Kellan a little earlier. When I pulled away Kellan and Nikki had already left. I would have to repay them for helping me tonight.

"Colbie, sweetie, what happened," Matt asked again.

"Dr. Richards. He-he asked me into his office and I didn't think it was something too important. I thought maybe he was just going to discuss stuff with me, but then, oh God, then he came too close. I tried to tell him to stop, but he got too aggressive with me. Flung me against his walls, against his desk, glass had even shattered and I had a couple of cuts from that. I tried to get away, but that made him angrier," I said trying to hold back the tears.

"Shhh," Matt said soothingly, "I'm not going to tell Brian, but we need to get you home. Do you want to go to my house or back to Brian's," he asked.

"Your house please," I said through a shaky breath.

"Alright," he said.

He picked me up and carried me out of the hospital bridal style. Nurses and doctors alike were shooting him glares, but he didn't care. We made it back to his house in record time, and after talking to Val he laid with me so that I could try and get some sleep.