Wonderful Life

It was official. The band that I had attempted to start had broken up. It just wasn't working out anymore. I made sure to collect all music that was written from them because it was my music and of course my best friend's music and I didn't want them to steal it and fuck it all up. I made sure that they didn't have any kind of hidden copies either. They didn't seem to hostile about the break-up and swore that no one heard any of the demos that we made, which I had collected considering that it was mostly my money that we had used to make the damn demo with. I was going to work on the stuff that I had created so that maybe my brother's band could attempt to make an album out of it.

As I had been reading through the stuff Jimmy had given me I had to re-write a lot of the guitar riffs because well, they weren't written right. Growing up in a family that mostly liked to play guitar I picked up on a few things. It was kind of hard not to. It wasn't that he was bad at writing the stuff, but more or less the fact that he liked to make up his own chords, which wasn't good. I was now a drummer without a band again. I could take my brother up on his offer to join them, but would I really want to do that. I wasn't sure. I knew I still had a few months to think this over. Mike Portnoy was going to tour with them until the end of the year. I had all tour to think about it before I had to give them my decision.

We had, had a BBQ recently and I had invited Kellan. He had a lot of fun and so did I. I was actually really worried about Gemma and Cassie because the boys and I would be leaving on tour and she would be stuck here to deal with Christian. I had even thought about asking her if she wanted us to take Cassie with us so that Christian couldn't take her, but then that bastard had to go and serve her court papers so I knew taking her out of California was out of the question now.

I just wish that there was something that I could do for her without it being illegal. I don't know how I could possibly help her at the moment, but I'll be damned if Christian takes Cassie from her. I'd kidnap Cassie from him if I had to because he doesn't deserve the right to raise his daughter. Not the way he's treated Gemma, Sam, and me.

"Colbie?" Brian's voice questions from the hallway.

"In here," I call to him.

I turn just as the door opens and reveals my brother. "What's up?" I ask.

"Oh, I was just wondering if you wanted to come to the studio today. Mike's been asking about you since the last time you went. He said that you're pretty fun to talk to and stuff," he said.

"Uh, yeah sure that should be fun. Can I bring a few of my friends with me?" I ask him.

"It shouldn't be a problem. Is Kellan going to come?" he asked.

"Yeah, and I was going to bring Nikki and Ashley too if that was alright," I said.

"Yeah that should be fine," he smiled.

I returned his smile before he left my room. I quickly sent a text to Kellan, Ashley, and Nikki asking them if they wanted to go to the music studio with me today. Their responses came rather quickly and I almost squealed with delight when they said that they would meet me at my house so that I could take them. I jumped out of my bed that I had been lying on while lost in my own thoughts before Brian came into my room so that I could get ready for the day. I jumped into the shower and was out within fifteen minutes tops. I pulled my hair up into a towel so that I could dry off with another one in the process. I ran back towards my room to get dressed for the day.

I picked out a pair of shorts that went to about mid thigh and a dark blue tank top to go with them. It was pretty hot considering that summer was approaching. It also meant that my brother was going to be releasing their new album soon as well. They were just finishing up with last minute stuff at the studio before it was ready to be released. They've already released their single titled Nightmare and that song is insanely awesome.

I was glad that Matt didn't change any of it in light of what had happened to his best friend. The guys were slowly picking up the pieces of their lives. I knew that it would take a lot longer than what they've been doing so far, but at least they are trying. That's all that matters to me. I've felt like Jimmy's been in my heart the whole time I've been working on my own music so I know he's there.

When I was done getting dressed I combed my hair out and just let it dry naturally today. I went back into the bathroom so that I could brush my teeth. Once I was done with that I left the bathroom and then headed downstairs. I had just stepped off the last stair when there was a knock on the door. My brother had already left with Michelle, so I knew that I had to meet them there. I went to the door and then opened it.

"Hey Colbie," Nikki grinned at me.

"Hey Nikki," I grinned right back at her.

I let them both inside the house. I gave a kiss to Kellan before leading them into the living room. Nikki sat down in the armchair and Kellan pulled me into his lap making me laugh. "So Colbie, how've you been lately?" Nikki asked sounding curious.

"Well, I started a band, but it didn't work out. Turns out my brother found out about my mad drumming skills in a way that I didn't want him to so now they've asked me to possibly be their drummer after the end of this year. I'm going on tour with them to sell merchandise for them and possibly take photos," I informed her.

"Wow, sounds like you'll have a busy rest of the year," she smiled.

"Oh yeah, but I don't know if I want to play drums for my brother's band or not. I've always wanted to be a drummer, but I don't know if drumming with brother and his friends, that I've known my whole life will be a good thing or not," I said.

"What do you mean?" Kellan asked.

"I mean I don't know if it will be fun or if it will end up being like some regular job. I do know that I could still be a nurse, but after what happened I really don't want to go back to that," I answered.

"You should at least give it a try before you really make your decision," Nikki said.

"Yeah I guess I should give it a shot before judging them," I grinned.

"So, why are they looking for a new drummer in the first place?" Nikki asked.

I swallowed hard. I hadn't even told Kellan the reason behind it yet, but he had asked on many occasions. I always found a way to avoid it, but I don't think I can this time. I stood up from Kellan's lap and then went up to my room for my laptop. It was easier to show them what I would be judged against if I made the decision to join the band. I loved talking about Jimmy, but it was more fun to show them.

I brought the laptop downstairs and then perched myself back on his lap. I motioned for Nikki to come sit next to him so that she could see as well. It would actually be easier if I wasn't on his lap so I moved so that I was in between them. I brought up my Jimmy archive where I had many photos of him and hilarious videos that I used to take. The hospital had been very lenient with me when I had been working there because I had gotten to make videos of them recording their last album. The camera had been shaky a couple of times because I couldn't stop laughing.

"So, what I'm about to show you is the reason they need to find a new drummer. Their last one passed away last year three days after Christmas. I was in Australia with Gemma when I got the news. I flew home before the trip was even over. My brother needed me so I came home," I said through a heavy sigh.

I clicked on the tribute video that I had made in his honor where it had interviews of the guys telling about their favorite moments and of course of Val and Michelle talking about their experiences of knowing him. It was a good video and pretty long. I pressed play once it was fully loaded and the volume was up all the way. I leaned back into the couch and let my boyfriend and friend watch my darkest secret.

I watched with them and I felt my eyes start to water from all the memories that were brought up. The one that was engraved into my memory the most was the last time I ever saw him. The day he came out to the backyard with me and gave me my own engraved drumsticks that I will never use because they are super special and I don't want them ruined. I felt a single tear slide down my cheek as I remembered the look on his face. He was so calm that day and I remembered that it scared me.

The video continued until it was done. Once it was done I closed the laptop and placed it on the coffee table. I leaned back into the couch again and I felt Kellan wrap his arm around me and pulled me into his side. "Colbie who was that?" he asked.

"That was one of my best friends. I was a natural drummer, but when I wanted some insight on my stuff how I was doing I would always go to him because he had so much talent as well. He taught me some stuff on the piano and he showed me a few tricks when it came to the drums. His name was James Owen Sullivan, but to me and my brother he was just Jimmy and to the fans he was known as The Rev," I said.

"Have you been dealing with his loss all this time?" Nikki asked.

"Yes. It's gotten better over the years and the album that my brother is working on right now is being done in his honor and for the fans because they have been so supportive of them and their loss," I replied.

"Baby, that must have been really hard," Kellan said.

"It was for me and for Gemma because she's been my friend since college. She would always come home with me on holidays and visit with my brother and his other friends," I said.

I received a side hug from Nikki and a squeeze from Kellan's arm around me. I was grateful that they understood what I had been through. It showed me that they were really good friends. I pulled away from their embrace and then took my laptop back upstairs. I made a quick trip into the bathroom and made sure that I didn't have any salty tear tracks down my cheeks. When I deemed myself presentable I headed downstairs with my purse and shoes.
"So, are you guys looking forward to seeing what my brother and his friends do for a living," I asked, as I sat down on the bottom step of the stairs to place my black and white Converse shoes on.

"Yeah, it sounds like it will be lots of fun," Nikki beamed walking into the foyer to where I was.

I led the way out to my car and they all piled inside. I pulled away from my brother's house and then headed in the direction of the studio. "So, how is filming going?" I asked.

"It's almost done. Thankfully, but then we'll have to tour the world to go to world premieres and stuff," Nikki answered.

"That sounds like fun," I grinned.

"It can be, but it's also very tiring. I mean once all the premieres are done we have to go around and do these conventions and hang out with fans and that is very tiring," Kellan replied.

I could understand where he's coming from. I toured with my brother and the band and it was fun, don't get me wrong, but it was also tiring. Brian and the others would be tired and sometimes instead of goofing off they would be sleeping all over the bus if they didn't want to sleep in the bunks. The drive wasn't much longer and soon I was pulling into the parking lot of the studio that they were using. I could see Brian's car, Zacky's car, Matt's car, and Johnny's car. I forgot what Mike's car looked like, but I was assuming that he was here as well.

I turned the car off and we all filed out. I led the way into the building after locking my car. It
took me awhile to figure out where everyone was at because I hadn't been here as often as the other studios they worked at. When I finally found the right studio we entered and then made our way towards the couches lining the back wall. Brian was in the sound booth doing a solo and Matt, Zacky, Mike, and Johnny were watching with small smiles on their faces. Kellan and Nikki sat down on the couch and I decided to see if I could scare the guys that weren't inside the sound booth. It was a long shot, but I was going to try.

I walked up towards the other guys and just as I was about to jump on Matt's back I saw Brian look up and smirk at me. I shook my head slightly and he just continued with his solo not missing a single beat. He was just that good. I made my move and I jumped on Matt's back. I would have gone for Johnny because it would have been funnier, but I didn't like picking on him as much as the others did. Matt visibly jumped when I landed on his back. My arms were wrapped around his neck and he just barely managed to grasp my legs before I ended up choking him.

"Damn Colbie, what the hell was that for?" he grinned at me, after turning his head to the side.

"Eh, I thought I'd scare you today," I answered kissing his cheek.

"It actually worked this time," he chuckled.

"Yes," I yelled, pumping my fist into the air.

I kissed his cheek again before jumping down. When my feet were planted on the floor again I gave Zacky and Johnny hugs and then hugged Mike too.

"Hey, I was wondering if you'd show today," he said.

"Yeah, and I brought some friends with me," I told him.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yep," I said, pointing towards the couch behind us.

I introduced Mike to my boyfriend and friend. They shook his hand and then retreated back towards the couches. Brian came out of the sound booth just then and I jumped up and tackled him to the ground. He laughed as he hugged me tightly. After I loosened my arms from around his neck I got up off of him and then helped him up to his feet. We shared another hug before he greeted Kellan. I introduced him to Nikki who gave him a kind smile in return.

The guys returned to their work. Mike was just giving his input on what they were doing because they had already recorded most of the drums. I gave Kellan a quick kiss on the cheek before standing up to go talk to Mike. I felt a little bad for abandoning them, but I wanted to ask him for his input on something that I had been working on and I didn't want anyone else to know what it was just yet.

"Hey Mike, can I talk to you in another room for a sec please?" I asked with a smile.

Mike nodded his head and then followed me towards where the drum kits were stored. When we were a good distance from where the others were I felt it safe to talk about what I wanted to talk about.

"So what's up?" he asked.

"I wanted your input on something that I wrote recently, but I don't want my brother to find out just yet," I said.

"Sure, I can do that," he said.

I smiled at him before going to sit behind the drum kit. I found a pair of sticks and then began on the piece that had been stuck in my head for some time. I hit every beat that I created and wrote and when I was done with what I had written I stopped playing. I was breathing rather hard, but I felt confident. I left the sound booth and headed back towards where Mike was standing.

"So, what did you think?" I asked tentatively.

"That was amazing Colbie. You have serious talent behind the drums and I could tell that Jimmy helped you when he was still here," he smiled at me.

"Yeah he gave me a few tips and I'll always be thankful for that," I said.

"I didn't hear anything wrong with it, but can I ask what inspired it?" he asked.

"Something happened to me a few months ago, and I've been slowly trying to deal with it. Drumming has helped me deal with that so I sort of wrote a song on how that happened," I said.

"It was a good start to the song. I assume that you'll have vocals and guitars in there right," he teased.

"Yeah of course," I said.

I gave him a hug of thanks before walking back towards the rest of the group. "Hey where did you two run off to?" Zacky asked.

"I, uh, needed his opinion on something," I answered, trying not to blush.

"Oh okay, well have you thought about anymore on what we asked you?" Johnny asked.

"Not really, but I promise, I'll have an answer for you guys as soon as I can sort out all my thoughts," I promised.

They all nodded their heads before returning to their work. I sat down on Kellan's lap and he wrapped his arms around me as we watched them work. I snuggled into his chest and couldn't help, but let the smile cross my face. I liked this. I remember when I would do this with Jimmy and he would always try and lick my ear or my neck. He loved to make me laugh and I enjoyed hearing his loud cackles.

"Baby, are you okay?" Kellan asked.

"Hmm," I asked in return.

"You were crying, I was wondering if you were alright," he said.

"Oh, it must be my memories of Jimmy," I laughed lightly.

He wiped his fingers across my cheek and then kissed it before holding me a bit tighter. I placed my arms over his and we sat there as my brother continued to work. Val and Michelle joined the group and brought lunch with them where the guys took a break to eat and drink. I could tell that they weren't as happy go lucky as they used to be. It was more or less business with them on this album and I wanted to see them with more smiles on their faces again as they recorded. I wondered if maybe me joining the band could help bring back the happiness they once knew with Jimmy.

Val and Michelle seemed to like Nikki and they were talking about a lot of fashion stuff while I just sat content in Kellan's lap. Gena and Lacey showed up just as the guys were about finished for the day. Kellan, Nikki, and I left the studio during the final touches of the song So Far Away. Brian had written it and it was just beautiful. I loved it. My all time favorite one though was Fiction because I could hear the distinct vocals of Jimmy. I didn't care if they were rough vocals either. They were clear and concise and that's what mattered. I just hoped that the fans would like the rest of the album.

When we got back to the house that I shared with Brian I decided to cook dinner because I knew that Brian would be starving and Michelle wasn't the best cook in the house. I offered to have Kellan and Nikki stay for dinner and they said that they would. Nikki helped me cook while Kellan set the table for me. It was a fun process. I made a shit load of spaghetti with meat sauce, my homemade garlic bread, and of course a salad to finish off the full meal. The sound of the door opening and closing put a smile on my face.

"Damn, Colbie that smells delicious," Brian's voice floated in through the kitchen.

"Yes, I know. Are the others joining us?" I asked him.

"Yeah of course they are," Brian grinned.

"I figured they would since they always like to eat here when I cook," I grinned at him.

"You're cooking is amazing though," Brian said.

I just smiled before asking Kellan to place out six more settings on the table. When dinner was done I set it on the table just as the door slammed open and loud voices echoed throughout the house. I let out a small laugh as I greeted my other friends and told them wash up before sitting down at the table. They started to argue before I gave them one of my pointed glares. I watched them trudge to the bathroom and wash their hands before returning. Dinner was wonderful. It was full of chatter and almost happiness. I could tell that we were all thinking about Jimmy, at least the ones who knew him. When dinner was over I served ice cream for dessert before walking my friends to the door. They thanked me for a good time and I told them that we would have to do it again. I gave Kellan a kiss goodbye before watching them leave.

Once Kellan and Nikki left I decided to go to bed early. I went up the stairs and into my room after making a quick detour to the bathroom and cleaning up my face and brushing my teeth. When I was done with that I changed into my pajamas before picking up my laptop and wrote a few of the lyrics that I had thought about today for the song I was working on. I grew tired rather quickly and put my laptop away and then snuggled into my covers and went to sleep for the night. My life was changing and I think it was changing for the best.