Wonderful Life

I ended up falling asleep on the drum set. Thankfully I didn't drool all over it, but I did fall asleep. I had woken up in the middle of the night and then climbed tiredly up the stairs from the basement. I had made sure to grab the folder as well because I had yet to look in it. The guys already had material for the next album in case they ever decided to go back to the studio. I wasn't sure what was in the folder, but I knew that I would have to look sooner or later. Right now, it would have to be later. I went to the room that was dubbed mine for whenever I slept over at Gemma's house. When I entered the room I barely made it to the bed before passing out. The folder dropped from my hand and fell to the floor.

I wasn't fully asleep when the actual light from outside started to creep through the curtains. I could hear Gemma moving around and I was thankful that she wasn't trying to talk about the recent events. The funeral was hard enough, but trying to talk about it later was going to be even tougher. She had told me that she had a date today for lunch, so I wasn't going to be seeing her later on. I heard the door close and then the house was in complete silence. I lay in bed for a little while longer before getting up. I didn't have a change of clothes here, so I would have to go home first.

I called Brian and he said that he was already at home. Matt had given him a ride when he couldn't get a hold of her. I had apologized, but he said he understood. After I hung up the phone I decided to get up. My feet landed on the floor, but it was covered in a bunch of papers. I remembered the folder that Leanna had given me the day before and picked up all the papers. One particular one caught my eye though. I put the rest of the papers back in the folder without looking at them and then sat down on the bed with the one that caught my eye. I could recognize Jimmy's handwriting anytime I saw it. He always normally wrote in a quick scrawl that it was sometimes hard to read, but this was his writing and it was actually readable for once.

Dearest Colbie,

I know that I am no longer around and that is why you are reading this. I hate to not talk to you anymore because I sensed something special within you. I remember the first day you came to me with questions about drumming. I remember my eyes lighting up in happiness. I know that you've kept your talent a secret from your brother and the others, but I'm asking you to not do that anymore.

I have included some music writing papers for you to start your own album, that maybe one day you and the guys will turn into something great. I honestly think that my passing was something that had to happen so that you could shine through. I will miss you and the guys dearly, but just remember one thing.

Never forget how much love I held for you and everyone else. Take care of Leanna for me because I know this is hard for her. Don't lose sight of your talent. Drum with your heart and soul, but most of all drum hard.

Love always,

Jimmy

I wiped away the tears that had started to roll down my cheeks as I read his letter to me. To think he died because it was my time to shine was not something I wanted to think about. I made a silent promise right then and there to one of my best friends. I would not stop drumming and I would continue until I died myself. I tucked the letter into the folder and then placed it in the dresser drawer. This room was never leant out to anyone else because Gemma and I loved to have sleepovers every now and then.

I looked at the clock and realized that I had to get going. I washed my face with some of Gemma's facial wash and then left the house. I didn't listen to music on the drive back to Brian's house, but I knew that I would start listening to music again. Music has been a part of my life since I was five years old and came to live with Brian and his family. Papa Gates even taught me a few chords on the guitar because I had thought it would be fun to learn. Matt and Jimmy both taught me how to play the piano and that was a lot of fun, and I was thankful to have had those lessons. I knew that it would help me in the long run with my new project.

I pulled into the driveway of Brian's house and then made my way inside. I found Brian staring at the black screen of the television. It wasn't on, but he was staring at it.

"Brian, you okay," I asked.

His head whipped around and then his eyes focused on me.

"Yeah, sorry, spaced out a bit," he smiled lightly.

"It's okay. I'm sorry I didn't come get you last night. I ended up falling asleep at Gemma's," I told him.

"It's alright. Matt, being the good friend that he is took me home," he said.

"How's Michelle," I asked.

"Don't know. She was still sleeping when I left Matt's," he answered.

"Why do you keep pushing her away," I wondered.

"I'm not trying to. I'm really not. I know this is hard for her as it is me, but I don't know how to open up to her just yet," he replied.

"Don't think about it too much, just do it. Before you know it you'll be spilling your guts," I laughed.

He smiled at me and then held his arms open.

"Sorry, I'm not hugging you until I shower," I laughed.

He grinned and then watched me go up the stairs. All throughout my shower I got a bad feeling in my stomach. I wasn't sure how to pinpoint the feeling, but I felt like something was going to go wrong today. Gemma hadn't called me yet, but I was certain that she was just trying to give me space. When I was done getting dressed for the day I went to the kitchen and fixed lunch for the both of us. Brian sat down at the table and I sat down across from him. I only picked at my food though.

"Something wrong Colbie," he asked.

I looked at him before speaking. "I don't know. I have this bad feeling that something is going to go wrong. I understand that Gemma wants to give me space, but she normally fusses about me all the time, well at least when she knows I'm going through a tough time," I said.

"So, what are you saying," he asked.

"She hasn't called yet. I tried to call her earlier but it went to voicemail. Something's not right Brian," I said.

Brian was silent for some time. He knew about Gemma's friendship with Christian. He even met the guy once and he didn't like him. Jimmy was even skeptical when Christian was around, which was a shocker, since Jimmy liked everyone, well just about everyone he met. After lunch Brian cleaned up and then we went to Matt's house again. We never brought up Gemma for the rest of the day though. I still thought about her because she was my best friend. The atmosphere at Matt's house was still a melancholy atmosphere. Everyone was still shocked and in somewhat of a denial, but they knew that their best friend, brother, and band mate was not coming back.

The rest of the day everyone just sat around. Brian and Johnny dueled in Guitar Hero II and Matt and Zacky watched. Sometimes they would switch. Life with the guys had drastically changed in just a few short days. I played against Brian a couple of times and ended up beating him. He was astonished at first, but I just smiled at him. None of the guys knew about my secret musical talents. I had kept them well hidden for a long time. It was going to be a little longer before I actually told them what I could do.

Brian and I ended up leaving by eight. I had made sure that he had a long talk with Michelle before we left and it seemed like things would be alright between to the two of them. I couldn't sleep that night. Something still felt off about the day. I tossed and turned all night and by one in the morning sleep finally claimed me.

******

The next morning I woke up still tired, but still a little agitated as well. I got into the shower and got dressed. When I went to the kitchen I found Brian sitting there.

"Brian," I said softly.

He looked up at me.

"Do you want to go see Gemma today," he asked.

"Yes, please come with though," I said.

"Alright, then let's go," he said getting up.

I followed him to the truck and we drove off after he started it. Once we arrived at Gemma's house my uneasy feeling increased. I let us into the house and walked in. I walked into the living room, but I didn't see her anywhere. It was odd. She normally was up by now.

"Gemma? You here?" I called through the house.

I looked at Brian and he shrugged his shoulders. I rolled my eyes and led him up the stairs. I found Gemma sitting on her bed. It was completely stripped of sheets. I looked at Brian and he now had a concerned look in his eyes.

"Gem, what's wrong," he asked.

She shook her head and wiped away some tears. "He...I can't believe...I was so stupid." She cried.

"Gemma, why are the bed sheets gone," I asked.

She sniffled. "I had to get rid of them. He….Christian….He….I can't believe that he'd…." she said through her tears.

Brian walked over to her and sat down on the bed. She visibly flinched. "What did he do
Gemma," he asked her. She swallowed.

"He….Raped me," she cried a little harder. "He came over after I got back from lunch with Sam. He wanted to talk. As we were talking, um, Sam called me, and I took the call, while Christian got me a soda…. and I took it thinking that nothing was wrong and….After I had finished it, I started feeling sleepy and I woke up this morning and….My clothes were gone and my body was in extreme pain and he then made up some lame excuse that we both wanted it," she explained continuing to wipe tears from her eyes still obviously in shock.

I looked at Brian who was staring at me. He had a look of pure hatred in his eyes and I knew that mine mirrored his.

"How do you know," Brian asked.

"I've never slept with a guy. Christian knew that and has always wanted to be my first and….After last night….He was," she replied. "I was so stupid! I never should've had that drink! I'm an idiot!" She cried.

Brian shook his head in disagreement. "Gem, there was no way that you could've known he would do that. He was supposed to be your friend. Friends don't do that to each other, but we need to get you checked out," he reassured her.

She nodded her head and then followed us out the door.

The drive to the ER was only about ten minutes. Gemma lived a little closer to the hospital than I did. We were sitting in the waiting room. Gemma was sitting in between Brian and me. I could tell that she didn't really want to be there. On top of losing a best friend to death, she was raped. Not the best combination ever. Gemma had trusted Christian most of her life, but he had betrayed that trust more so than a best friend going behind your back and sleeping with your boyfriend. I knew that something was off about Christian and I wish I had opened her eyes to it sooner than this.

"Gemma Ryan," a nurse finally called.

Brian and I watched as she went back to get her examination. She and I never worked in the ER, but they were just as professional as we were in our wing. They knew why Gemma was here and they were very professional about helping her out. Brian and I waited for about an hour or two. When Gemma came back out she looked more than relieved.

"Disease free," she whispered.

I hugged her and then led her back to the truck. When we got back to her house I made up her bed for her with some clean sheets as Brian got her to eat something downstairs. When she was done she came into the room. She curled up into her pillows and had her eyes squeezed shut tightly.

I left her in her room and went downstairs to Brian. He was cleaning up around the house. He was tense I could see that in his back muscles.

"Brian," I said.

He turned around and looked at me.

"Am I staying her by myself or are you staying too," I asked.

"I'm staying here too. She needs both of us at the moment. Besides, I don't want you trying to fight Christian yourself if he decides to show up again," he said anger visibly flashing through his eyes.

I nodded my head and embraced him into a hug. He loved Gemma like he loved me. Completely and utterly like a sister and I was grateful that he did. She didn't have any siblings and it was hard on her when her parents kept fighting and asking her to pick sides all the time. I knew that she would be dreading to tell her parents, but I wasn't going to let her tell them alone. I would be right by her side and supporting her like a true friend would.
Brian left to get us a change of clothes and he was back with Zacky. I had to roll my eyes, but Zacky was another one who loved Gemma like a sister.

"How's she doing," he asked walking in the door.

"She's shocked and she's upset. How would you feel if someone you thought you could trust drugged you and then raped you," I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Good point," he said and walked up the stairs.

I followed him and watched as he went into Gemma's room. He was only going to sit with her in case of any nightmares. I knew that Zacky was faithful to Gena and that he wouldn't be stupid to try anything. He was one person I knew that I could trust. I left Gemma's room with door slightly open and then went into my designated room. Brian was already curled up on his side of the bed. I climbed in next to him after I had changed my clothes. He immediately rolled over and pulled me into his side. Times like these with my brother were priceless. When I was younger I would annoy the shit out of him by coming into his room in the middle of the night. I knew he didn't mind at all, but he put up a front that he did. It was quite funny to say the least, but I knew deep down that he loved me.

"Brian," I whispered.

"Hmm," he asked his eyes still closed.

"Do you remember when we were younger," I asked.

"When you used to bug the crap out of me by interrupting my sleep," he asked with a light chuckle in his voice.

"You know I didn't bug you with that," I answered with a smile in my voice.

"You did to," he grumbled.

"So you say," I said poking him in the side and he jumped away from me.

He squeezed me tightly and I snuggled into his side. I was glad that our relationship was so tightly knit and close. It made it a lot easier to live with the guy. We both fell asleep then with thoughts of how we were going to help Gemma through the next couple of days.