By The Seaside

“Dude, just why? You knew she was his cousin, didn’t you?” Gabriel asked his twin brother, who had barely spoke since Jayden left with Camille.

Aidan stayed quiet, looking outside his window. That was place where he saw Cam for the first time. Standing there, staring out his window. He wouldn’t have pay attention to her if she hadn’t been utterly alone in Gabe’s party. She seemed lonely, just like him. So why not make her company? It seemed like a good idea then, but now he wasn’t so sure.

“Aidan, dude? Are you even listening to me?” Gabe asked. He was sitting at the edge of Aidan’s bed wondering if his brother was ever going to be the same as he was before Jake’s disappearance four summers before. It used to be the four of them, Jay, Aidan, Jake, and Gabe, but not anymore.

“Yeah, I’m listening,” Aidan replied and turned around at see the boy whose face was so similar to his own but whose way of thinking and acting was the total opposite.

“Then answer me, man. I’m your fucking twin brother! You can trust me,” Gabe said a little frustrated. It was two thirty a.m. and all the people had left to an after party at someone else’s place, so he finally had the time to sit down and talk to Aidan, but it wasn’t working.

“I know I can, but I just don’t know,” Aidan said.

“Shit, bro. You’ve been here for less than a week and you’ve already gotten into a fight with Jay. You know it’s nobody’s fault what happened to Jake, so stop acting like that to piss off other people and try to make their lives shit,” Gabriel said, tired of his brother always getting into fights and fucking his life up more than it should be.

Aidan had already gotten a reputation for being really aggressive since eighth grade. Then came freshman year, and with it began all the parties, alcohol, drugs, girls, and of course sex. It really disgusted Gabe how Aidan began to live his life after losing his best friend.

“This has nothing to do with Jake, okay?” Aidan said, anger present in his voice.

The main reason why Aidan didn’t like being around Gabriel and Jayden as much as he used to was because he knew they believed Jake was dead. Sure it had been almost four years, but still that didn’t mean that Jake couldn’t be alive. Aidan still had hope, and it angered him that Gabriel and especially Jay gave up so easily.

“Then what does it have to do with, huh?” Gabriel asked defiantly. “Tell me, why did you fucking kiss her?”

“I didn’t, okay! She kissed me! Just because she is Jay’s cousin doesn’t mean I’m doing it to piss him off!” Aidan shouted, wanting to end the conversation so he could just be alone.

“What? She kissed you?” Gabe asked not really believing it. Jay had told him a few things about Camille, and from all he’d heard she didn’t seemed like the type of girl who would kiss someone she’d just met, plus the thought of Aidan kissing her to get Jay angry felt more realistic to him.

“Yes. I know, hard to believe, right?” Aidan replied sarcastically.

“Why would she kiss you?” Gabe asked, but when he saw the expression on his brothers face he quickly added, “I mean, you’re a handsome dude. Like, we are twins so, you know, I’m good looking, you’re good looking,” he gave a nervous laugh.

“Asshole,” Aidan mumbled.

“Look, man, what I meant was that you’ve got your reputation and stuff, and things are going to get shitty if you get involve with her. Jay has told me she’s different you know. She believes in the prince charming, and the white horse, and all that shit,” Gabe said. “I just don’t want you to do to her what you do to the other girls.”

“Why are you all of the sudden worried about her?” Aidan wondered.

“I’m not worried about her as much as I’m worried about what would happen to you if you do anything to that girl.”

“Well, you shouldn’t worry about me. I’ve gone through tons of fucked up shit in the last four years alone and look at me. I’m still alive,” Aidan replied. He knew Gabe didn’t want things between Jay and him get any worse. “You want to know something I learned was really true this year while I was away?”

“What?” Gabriel questioned, feeling a bit relief knowing that going away had taught Aidan something that might change his rebel self.

“What doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger. Here I am, stronger than ever.”

Gabriel stood up, realizing he couldn’t do anything to change his brother’s way of thinking, but he would still try for the rest of the summer, for the rest of his life if he had to.

“I know you, dude. We’re twins for fuck’s sake! I’m sick of you fucking your life up, and I want to help you,” Gabe said before heading to the door. “And I can see right through you, brother. Stop putting on the act that you can make it on your own, because the truth is nobody can.”

That being said, Gabriel shut the door behind him and went to his room, leaving Aidan to think about what he said.

After a few minutes of staring at the wooden door Gabe had leaved through, Aidan moved from his position next to the window and searched through his drawers. When he finally found his glow in the dark invisible paint, Aidan painted the words that formed the mantra he had been using for the past four years, which he had no idea Camille felt the urge to say. He fell asleep with the fresh-painted letters glowing on the wall in front of his bed that read ‘Fuck it, I don’t care anymore’.