Finding Our Footing

Dear Stephen,

Thanks, man. But I’m not getting that old. You’re still older than me. But yeah, I remember them. Nothing can ever compare to them.

A girl is most definitely required to have a kid. But maybe life isn’t meant to be planned out. Maybe it’s suppose to always be just going with the flow and doing everything on a whim. But you’re right a girl needs stability.

Yeah I know. I ran into them while I was in Baltimore. It shocked me to see them not being goofy and cracking jokes all the time. Yeah, sure. Whatever you say, big bro. He lost it all. He’ll never truly get it back because no one will ever trust him. I don’t see the appeal to that. People being friends with you just because you have more money and you know certain people. I just don’t get it. If you don’t have your family and true friends to keep you grounded, what’s the point?

Everyone needs privacy, Stephen. Not just the lead singer. Sure the pressure to lead the band is there, but everyone needs that privacy. Why wouldn’t you put all the blame on Brian? He started every fight. He’s the one that ruined everything. I mean, yeah, we were frustrated with the CD and other factors, but it was still Brian in the end.

It’s the life we chose. It’s what we wanted. Now it’s just the outcome of it all. Thanks. I don’t want her yelling at me more if you tell her that I’m coming and then I wimp out and decide to go somewhere else. I know I am. I don’t what anything is anymore, man. I just know that I’m trying to figure things out. Maybe my life was always the road in the end. I know I don’t really want it to be. Things aren’t the same as when we were touring. I want the screaming fans in the crowd and the late nights driving to another town again. I want the signings and the weeks in recording studios with you guys. I just want everything to be the same again.

I know it is. Maybe for me, the nights in the van or bus were my key to relaxing. Maybe they did and maybe that’s why I’m still out here running. It’s not your fault, Stephen. It was my choice in the end to be in the band and to do the tours.

I think we all need to hear it. And you’re welcome.

Shut up, man. It’s not cool. But I think I missed it. Miss it more than I really want to admit. Dude, not cool. I miss her food enough without you telling me how amazing it is. I know you guys do.

I really don’t. I’m on a flight to California as I write this. I don’t even know why I’m running, let alone what I’m running from. Maybe it’s settling down.

I take pride in acting like a teenager, Stephen.

Fine, no love from me either.

John.

P.S. Whatever, a lot of things will take you far. Never said I had anything them. Haha. I know, dude. They really do need to make you one.