Secrets Will Kill You

When I started to wake up…I realized I was tied to a chair. “Mel…you alright?” I heard a voice whisper. It sounded like Dean.

I looked up and saw Dean was tied to a chair as well, right next to me. Then, I saw Sam and Brit were tied to chairs as well. Brit and I were back to back as Dean and Sam were back to back. We were all in the Carrigan’s kitchen though.

“Yea…yea I’m alright” I murmured feeling that my throat was extremely dry. They exchanged some words but I was so out of it that I wasn’t even listening…some Christmas.

Mr. and Mrs. Carrigan came walking in wearing freakin identical light up sweaters. Could they get any creepier? Madge and Dean exchanged some banter. “…you're hunters, is what you are” she stated.

“Yeah, and you're pagan gods. So why don't we call it even and go our separate ways?” Dean tried and Mr. Carrigan walked over to our side to stand in front of Dean.

“What, so you can bring back more hunters and kill us? I don't think so” he laughed, putting an apron on.

“Maybe you should have thought of that before you went snacking on humans then, huh?” Sam snapped.

“Oh, now, don't get all wet”

“Ho. Why, we used to take over a hundred tributes a year. And that's a fact” Madge said and I turned my head to try and see what she was doing.

She brought over two napkins, putting one on my lap and one on Dean’s. I guessed she did the same to Sam and Brit. What the hell were these people doing?

They said before they eat us, they have to perform a ritual and to kick it off, they needed meadowsweet…Dean of course made a comment about them not having anymore wreaths…but then she brought out two and put one around my neck and Dean’s. Mr. Carrigan did the same to Sam and Brit. Mr. and Mrs. Pagens over there were discussing our good and delicious we looked…which purely disgusted me.

“So who first?” he asked.

“How about the little girlies” Madge said happily.

So then Mr. Carrigan came over to me with some kind of bowl and a knife. He held my arm down tightly and I felt as if my arm would break if I even tried to move it. He put the bowl under my arm and began to slowly slice my arm with the knife. I grunted and flew my head back and I sucked in my air quickly.

“Leave her alone you son of a bitch!” Dean grunted and I saw how he was straining to try and break the ropes.

Then, I noticed Madge began to do the same thing to Brit. “You sick bastard, get away from her!” Sam grunted.

“You hear how they talk to us? To gods?” Madge laughed.

I shut my eyes tightly, trying to ignore the voices as I tried to also ignore the pain in my arm as the blood trickled down it. “You okay, Brit?” I whispered to her.

“Eh, ya know…” she breathed out, half heartedly.

I saw the two creeps mix my blood with Brit’s into one bowl. Then Madge came over to our side again as her husband went to the other side and they started to slice Sam and Dean at the same time like they did to Brit and I. Sam sucked in the pain.

“You bitch!” Dean spat.

“Oh, my goodness, me. Somebody owes a nickel to the swear jar…oh, you know what I say when I feel like swearing? Fudge” Madge said.

“I’ll try to remember that” he said, sarcastically.

Mr. Carrigan stayed on the other side, getting ready to do something with Sam and Brit as Madge came back to our side. “You fudging touch us again, I'll fudging kill you!” Dean shouted at her.

“Very good” she cooed and then sliced my other arm that was closest to Dean.

I hissed. Then, she sliced Dean’s arm a well and our blood mixed in the bowl. Then, she pulled some pieces of my hair out at once at the same time as she pulled some of Brit’s hair out.

“Bitch!” we both gasped.

“Nuh uh…cursing is not lady-like” she said and then Sam started to yell out in pain. “Oh-ho. We've got a winner” Mr. Carrigan said happily and I turned my head to see him holding up one of Sam’s finger nails!

“Oh, that’s so gross” I breathed out heavily as we were all in the same state.

"Merry Christmas guys” Brit and I breathed out at the same time.

Sam grunted in response but then looked at Brit and murmured something to her but I was too out of it to even hear what he said and he was only a few inches away from me. Then, Dean looked at me and reached his fingers over to my own fingers and he gripped onto them.

“One more thing…” Mr. Carrigan said. Then him and Madge came to our side with tongs, looking very excited. “Open wide and say: Aah” he instructed.

“What? No, come on” I tried to resist but Madge held my chin and opened my mouth, forcing the tongs into my mouth as Mr. Carrigan did the same to Dean.

I shuddered slightly as I felt one of my teeth being gripped. Right when I shut my eyes tight and tried to brace myself…the doorbell rang. Everyone froze.

“Somebody gonna get that?” Dean and I both asked at the same time with tongs still in our mouths.

The bell rang again. “Yea, you should get that” I nodded slightly. Then the tongs were taken out of our mouths and we sighed with relief as they walked out of the kitchen.

“Okay time to get out of here, now” I said and ripped through the ropes and so did Brit.

We had been working on cutting the damn ropes and trying so hard for them to not notice. We quickly cut Sam and Dean out and ran out of the kitchen right when the pagans returned. The boys held the door shut, keeping them in the kitchen as Brit and I rounded the corner.

“I have an idea!” I shouted to them.

“But, we have no weapons!” Sam shouted back.

But, I ignored him as we got to the living room and I threw the Christmas tree to the ground. Brit started to help me break some branches loose. Then, all of a sudden, Dean and Sam came flying into the room with the Carrigan’s beating them to the ground. Then, Madge tackled me to the ground.

“You know, I loved that tree” she said angrily as she swung at me.

She got me twice but then I kicked her off me and stabbed my branch into her, twisting it while it was through her chest, making sure she was really dead. “Bitch!” I spat at her.

Mr. Carrigan came at me, screaming for his wife but Brit got in front of me, impaling him. He collapsed to the floor and then Brit helped me to my feet. We pounded our fists and then went to Sam and Dean’s sides, helping them up. We all looked down at the corpses and then Sam looked up at all of us.

“Merry Christmas” he said and Dean scoffed as I shook my head and Brit smiled up at him.

~~~

Once we were back at the motel, I patched up Dean and wrapped some bandages around his arms, Brit did the same to me and Sam and then I sent Dean to the deli but I told him to go to a specific deli, a few miles away. I spun to look at Sam.

“Look, Sam, I have a crap load of freakin decorations in my freakin truck and right now I don’t care what you think about Christmas because I am going to decorate the place with or without your help because I have been putting up with all this freakin stuff during the whole case and I want it all to be over already. I’d really like it if you helped though” I got in his face.

“I saw the tree sticking out of your truck…I made sure Dean didn’t see it…figured you were trying to surprise him” he said and hugged me.

I was confused and looked at Brit. She shrugged. Okay…that was so much easier than I thought it would be…. “Okay, lets hurry before he gets back” he said and I nodded.

Then, the three of us raced outside and got all the stuff from my truck and brought it inside. We hung some streamers and a banner over the TV that said Happy Birthday but I crossed it out and used paper from my sketch book, to write Merry Christmas in huge letters and I stuck the pieces of paper on the banner. Brit decorated our small tree with the crappy lights I stole…I just wish I stole some better ones. We hung tiny red, green and white plastic wiffle balls from string and attached the string to the ceiling. Then, I put the wreath, that was made out of cans, up on the wall. We hung some other lights on a mantle and tried to pin some on the ceiling…it looked kind of pathetic but it gave the room some Christmas light. Then, I put on my little Santa hat as Brit put hers on as well and we made some eggnog…with some alcohol in it…hey, we were using whatever we could.

“He’s back!” Brit shouted, coming away from the window.

We all stood side by side, facing the door as I adjusted my hat and we all grinned as Dean opened the door. “Hey, you get the beer?” Sam asked as Dean just stared at all of us. He shut the door and a smile began to creep onto his face.

“What's all this?” he asked, looking around.

“What does it look like? It’s Christmas” I smiled at him.

“What made you change your mind?” he asked Sam.

“These two really” Sam gestured to Brit and I.

“It was Mel’s idea, I just helped” Brit said.

“No, no, we all did it” I gave them both pointed looks.

“So this is what you did with the lights…you stole them to use them to decorate completely”

“The lights…the banner…the streamers…but doesn’t matter. Here” I said, handing him a cup of eggnog.

“Try it. Let us know if it needs more kick” Sam said.

He tasted it and made a face but laughed. “No, we're good” he replied.

“So umm lets do Christmas stuff or whatever” Sam said and the look on Dean’s face was perfect.

“All right, first thing's first” he said.

So, then we all sat down. I sat on the floor again but this time Dean joined me, sitting at my side as Brit and Sam got close on the couch.

We exchanged gifts. Dean had bought Sam some porno mags (of course) and some shaving cream and Sam got him some oil for the Impala and an airhead. Sam had bought Brit a little cute beanie baby and Brit had given him a chain necklace with some kind of medallion on the end of it. I got Brit a pair of new sunglasses while she got me a cool steering wheel cover that had flames on it. Sam got me a hat that actually had our initials on it and it said 'S+M=BFF's'. I don't know how he got it but I loved it. I got him a cheap ring that said BFF and if you moved it a certain direction, it sarted winking at you. hHe laughed at that.

Then, I walked over to the closet and pulled out two boxes.

“I’ve been hiding these presents for a while…Brit helped me get them” I said and handed Dean and Sam a box.

They exchanged looks and then took the lids off and the each pulled out a helmet. “Now, you each have your own helmet to ride the bike and you don’t have to wear mine or Brit’s” I said and they grinned.

They seemed pretty excited about it so I smiled at Brit and we gave each other accomplished looks. Then, Dean had taken out a tiny, cheep bracelet that said BFF on it and he gave it to Brit. We all laughed at that but Brit put it on happily and then laughed some more when she gave him the same kind of bracelet. Then, he took out a much thinner, silver chain than what Brit gave to Sam and on the end was a tiny heart. He looked to make sure Sam wasn’t looking when he did though.

“Wow Dean…I never thought you had it in you”

“Just don’t tell Sam okay?” he requested and I laughed lightly as I put it on around my neck.

Then, I raised my cup. “Merry Christmas” I said and they mimicked my motion. “Merry Christmas” they all replied.

Then, we all took sips of our drinks and Dean grunted as I made a face…this crap was strong. Then, we were all silent as I felt on the verge of tears. I glanced up at the rest of them and saw they were the same way.

“You guys feel like watching the game?” Brit spoke.

“Absolutely” Dean answered. I looked at her and gave her a look of thanks and she nodded.

So, then Dean and I turned around to put our backs against the couch and he put his arm around me as Sam put the TV on. The game came on and we started to watch.

After a while, we decided to call it a night and Sam and Brit went off to the bed and Dean and I went into the room and I shut the door. I walked into the bathroom, turned the light on and I just stared at myself in the mirror. I peeked my head out of the bathroom and I started to secretly watch Dean as he sat down on the bed in the darkness and he took off his boots and then his shirt. I looked back at myself in the mirror and I gripped the counter in front of me to lean on it. I felt a huge lump in my throat and I felt a big ach inside me.

“Happy birthday, dad” I whispered.

I squeezed my eyes shut and when I opened them, I saw Dean in the mirror and he was leaning against the door frame, staring at the floor. I quickly swallowed the lump in my throat and rubbed my face with my hands. He was silent.

“Umm I drew these for you” I said and took out some folded pieces of paper out of my pants pockets. “This one is of our families eating together one Christmas…” I started, pointing to one.

“There’s mom” he stated as a smile formed on his face and he got choked up but I pretended that I didn’t notice.

“Yea…that one’s of you and Sammy when you were little…I never knew he was the one that gave you that” I said, gesturing to his amulet around his neck that he’s always wearing.

“Yea” he chuckled lightly and I could tell he was reminiscing.

“And that one…is just what you wanted right?” I asked and he looked down at the picture of John and my dad laughing together.

“Yea…thank you” he said and I saw the visible tears in his eyes as he hugged me tightly.

Then he pulled away and looked at the pictures again. “Umm Sam told me you wanted to make this an unforgettable first and last Christmas…you did it”

“Good. Mission accomplished. Now if you don’t mind, I think I’ll go back to being myself” I laughed to myself.

“Good…the Christmas-loving Melissa kind of freaks me out” he said and I laughed. “I’m…really glad you did it though”

“It’s not a big deal”

“No, it is a big deal because I would’ve understood if you didn’t want anything to do with Christmas…since today’s also your dads birthday and everything…and Sammy needed this…and I needed this…” he started and I turned to look at him face-to-face.

“I think you still owe me” he said, lowering his voice, no joking, becoming seductive as he came closer to me.

I nodded and he took my hand. He started to back up out of the bathroom as he led me out, with his eyes never leaving mine. I shut the bathroom light off as the darkness overcame us. I could vaguely make out his shadow as I saw him set the pictures on the small table beside my belly button ring and then slowly, he lowered me onto the bed, hovering over me. He kissed me slowly and passionately. Then, he did it again…and again…and things started to get really heated. He got my shirt and my jeans off me so I was in my bra and underwear as he still had his boxers on and then he suddenly pulled away from me. We were both breathing hard as he looked down at me and moved some hair out of the way.

“Okay, I know we agreed to not get serious with each other but I just don’t think it’s possible with you…and what you did for me…for Sammy today? And how you’re always looking out for him and how you’re always concerned about Brit…I know I’m running out of time and…” he stopped and just stared down at me.

My eyes were adjusted to the dark so I saw his face clearly. His face was hard, showing some struggle…and even though his eyebrows were furrowed in frustration, his eyes still showed gentleness…and I saw that.

“Mel…I cant go to Hell without hearing you say it…I need you to say it…I need to hear it…” he stressed and I knew what he was talking about.

It’s something I’ve been wanting to say to him for the longest time. I brought my hands up to his face.

“Dean…I love you” I stared up at him.

He stared at me for a moment. “I love you too” he replied and then we picked up where we left off.

The dark engulfed us again but this time…it wasn’t just sex to pleasure us both…we made love…but I’ll never say that ever again.