30 Letters, 30 Days

Dear...

I can remember a time where I used to tell you everything. No secrets. But that's all changed. Sure, it may look like I still tell you a lot, but none of it means anything, it's the same stuff I tell people at church, random friends at school, basically the people that aren't that close to me. I wish you weren't in that category, but unfortunately, that's the way it is.

I guess it's because I've grown up, and don't necessarily hold the same values as you. Actually, maybe it's because I do, but don't stick to them like they are the only thing in the world. I don't know, it's hard to explain.

I know you confronted Dad a couple of months ago about me and my siblings,and I must say, when I found out I was pretty hurt, but quickly turned to anger. The idea of you telling my dad that he and Mum weren't raising us right was unbelievable. Am I that much of a disappointment? Sure, I make my fair share of mistakes, but so does everyone else. I don't understand what the big problem was, or is.

I wish I could go back to that time when I wasn't scared. But now, especially after all that's happened, I don't think that could happen. I think you would judge me too much, and I couldn't handle your disappointment. So I have to keep it superficial, at least for a little while.

Love Claire