What Started as a Crush

Today, I realized why it hurt me so bad that you left.
I realized that you're my other half.
You got me over my first love and replaced him with yourself,
You lied to me and helped ruin my reputation in this deadbeat town I so desperately want to leave.

But despite all that; I still go on Facebook and watch for you to come one everyday.
I still hope and pray that you'll comment on one of my status'.
When you do; my heart skips a beat and a new hope rises in me.
I still think about you everyday.

I would take you back in a heartbeat if only you would say the words.

Truth be told; I'm madly in love with you and I don't want to be.
I want to hate you with every fiber of my being.
But something in me just won't let that happen.

The second you said, "How could I forget such an amazing night?" when I brought up our first date...

A new hope rose in me that I thought had been left behind.

I thought I was over you.
I didn't need you anymore.

But then you talked to me again and ruined it all.

So my lament is; you're just a friend and I don't want you to be.
I want to be your fireworks.

Even if I'm just a sparkler girl; I'm okay with that.

I love you, Christopher Rideg.