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What Started as a Crush

Confession #2

There's one guy I know that's out-of-my-league. He's one year younger, but he's still much more mature than me and is extensively taller than me. When I look at him, he smiles back, and I feel the confusing urge to either punch him embarrassingly, or smile back.

He too good for me, academically and spiritually, but I can't get him out of my head, nor my dreams. It's like being in a game, and you're being moved around that you can't catch up to what the play is. It's so hard, and yet I choose to stay with my own dignity than choose him.

I've never loved anyone before, or at least not in a romantic way. I'm scared of getting hurt, yet I know he'll treat me right, and I still can't get to him.

His spell casting has gone out of my control, and I'm drowning in the midst of my own feelings.