What Started as a Crush

I really really like you. Maybe it's more than a crush. Everytime I close my eyes it's you I see. I can still feel your touch on the back of my hand, where you traced patterns gently, I can still smell your scent, in my hair, on my clothes. You are everywhere to me. The first thing I think of in the morning is your smile, the last thing I think of at night are your eyes.

I know I can't have you. Because she got there first. And she's my friend, I could never hurt her. I could never hurt your best friend, my ex, either. But let me tell you how hard it is, despite her breaking Alex's heart and him playing me off against my enemy, I still feel guilty, just thinking about you. They have hurt me so much, but I cannot do it to them.

Is that weak? Is that wrong?

It doesn't matter anyway. We're just friends. And even if I wanted to take our friendship further, I can't compete with her. She's pretty, mysterious, funny. I'm just me.

I want you so, but I can't have you. You aren't mine. So for now, dreams will do.

"Ever fallen in love with someone, you shouldn't've fallen in love with?" Ever Fallen In Love With Someone by the Buzzcocks.