Won't Turn Out Right

I just laid there on the floor, waiting for a burst of strength to come to me, so I could lift myself up. I wanted to get back to my couch. I had a headache, though, and my legs hurt even worse than they did before.

This is what I get for practically leaping off the couch and dragging my bruised and bloody body across a carpeted floor.

I was sprawled out on my side facing the door with my arms covering my chest. I was trying to watch TV... you know, in my head. I was going from British sitcom to 90's cartoon in flashes, trying to remember funny scenes to lighten my mood. It wasn't working as well as I'd hoped it would, but it was giving me something to do.

The cheers and claps from downstairs had ended a while ago and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. My eyes were slowly drifting closed, but I could never find a comfortable position to fall asleep in.

I want to have a dream.

One of my nonsensical dreams.

Where I don't have to care, and they last as long as I want them to. I don't want to be in pain and, I don't want to have to worry about my captors or my family and my friends

They probably won't ever see me again....

Maybe the floor isn't the worst place to fall asleep....

I was starting to forget. My mind was starting to blank out. I-

Squeak. Click.

The door was opening.

Sqeeeeeak-

He was coming in.

WHOOSH.

The door slammed into my head before I could even open my eyes. I screeched and whoever it was that opened the door laughed at me. I held onto my head in pain, trying to shake the stars from my eyes. He nudged the empty bowl with his boot and it went past my head and into the wall.

"I see you enjoyed the food." My blood ran cold when I heard his voice.

No. Anyone but him.

He shut the door and straddled me slowly. I made no attempt to stop him. I knew it would only end up in me wasting my energy and Matt taking out his aggressions on me.

But, it couldn't hurt to try, right? Keep fighting. Don't give up so easily! Coward! Wuss! Fight back!

I closed my eyes, keeping my arms tightly over my chest. He trailed his hands lightly across my skin making me shiver at his gentle touch. It scared me.

"I'm tired..." I barely whispered through a shaky, hoarse voice. My throat felt cut-up and soar.

"Let's get one thing clear first." He ran his hand through my hair before grabbing a big chunk of it and forcing me to look up at him. "Just because I fucked you doesn't mean I like you. Just because I'm letting you live doesn't mean I like you. I'm going to kill you as soon as I've gotten all that I want from you. That's a promise." He said it all with a chilling smile and it made my stomach churn in grief.

"I believe you. Get off of me." He let go of my hair, but stayed on top of me. He trailed his index finger down my temple, to my jaw bone, down my throat, and to my collar bone.

"You said you were tired?" He put his lips on my jaw as I nodded and tried to lift my head up and away. He took that as an invitation to move on to my neck. He bit me hard, and I let out a surprised cry. He sucked and bit while I squirmed underneath him. Finally, he pulled back and gave it a long lick all the way up to my jaw again. He planted one last kiss on my lips. "Glad to hear that, baby."

He held my neck tightly in one hand, and punched my temple repeatedly. I tried to struggle and claw at his hands to remove it from my neck, but he wasn't having it. He slammed my hands against the ground until I stopped trying then he went right back to pounding me. I felt lightheaded from lack of oxygen and from the jolts that my skull was receiving. Finally, the stars overtook me, and I faded to black.

Should I be happy that my prayers were answered?

How can I be happy when I'm dead?

I'm not dead, but I sure ain't alive...

Where is this place?

Have I been here before?

Well, of course, I've been here before. This is my room...

Why am I in my room?

Shouldn't I be dreaming?

I am dreaming... Aren't I?

I can't pinch myself. Where are my hands!

They're gone! They're gone! My hands are gone!

So is Asmodeus... Did I scare him off?

Good. I hope so. He was a bastard. He took my hands. He took my hands and my innocence.

Well... in a sense.

Naissance. Renaissance.

I want a rebirth. Can we call a recess? How 'bout the DA?

How 'bout your glass of water?

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. This can't be good.

He gave me my peanuts, but now he wants something else. Do I give it to him? I mean, it's nice to have my peanuts back, but... but... but! What does he expect me to say, for Christ's sake? I've never been to a ball in my entire life!

Ah, but there's a first for everything!

You don't expect me to fall for that, do you?

No, of course not! That would be too easy!

You can take my name. You can take my heart. You can take my peanuts.

But, you will never, ever, ever, ever take my courage.