Won't Turn Out Right

I don't believe in Stockholm Syndrome.

There's no such thing as falling in love with someone who has made your life a living hell, and there's no such thing as being so desperate that you start to develop feelings for someone who has made your life a living hell.

It doesn't make a lick of sense. At all.

People can force themselves to fall for someone. They can force themselves to look at someone else in a different light. They can pretend that someone else has a glimmer of hope and good deep down inside.

But, you know what?

That is not love.

It's not really even lust.

It's complete fucking bullshit.

I don't believe that I am falling for them. I don't believe that they are 'good' or that there's any hope left for any of them. They're bad people.

I am not in love with any of them.

And, I don't believe in second chances. Or third. Or fourth. Or fifth.

They are bad people. I wish they would all drop dead tonight. Right now. And, I'm pretty sure that they wish the same of me. What are they keeping me here for?

I started to think about my father. Was Shadows lying? Did they have my father? Was he dead, too? I didn't want to know if he was dead. I wouldn't be able to handle that right now. So many things were happening at once. Coincidences and strange happenings. Encounters and nightmares.

Zacky and Jimmy blatantly ignored me from across the room. They were busy gossiping and playing pat-a-cake, I'm sure.

And... I had a problem. We all have this little problem. All of us, I am assuming... are women. Women tend to have this teeny tiny little problem that arises every month or so.... A problem that I am experiencing now.

There was a sort of hollow sensation that arose below my stomach- an awkward sort of cramp. I swallowed nervously and sighed in frustration.

Should I tell them?

Let's take a vote. All for telling them raise your hands now.

All opposed?

Yeah... I thought so.

"Hey, Zacky, do you have a tampon I could borrow?"

-*-

Johnny wasn't quite sure where to start. Brian hadn't told him much. Only that Jason and Matt were probably still in Huntington Beach. That they weren't going to leave the state.

California is a big state, you know.

Brian explained that they had probably been telling people all about Sevenfold. They needed to be taken care of. Johnny wasn't sure he liked that.

Avenged Sevenfold was a family- a tight-knit group of friends who held each other's secrets to the fucking grave. The idea of the Barry brothers betraying that trust seemed... ridiculous. There was a level of trust among all of them that had never been toyed with before. So, why now? Why would Jason risk everything for that girl? He could have been drunk.

No. Intoxication seemed to be an unlikely explanation because both of the Barry brothers were smart drinkers. They had always held onto just enough of their consciousness to never become a threat to the family. If anything, the secret would slip out in an everyday conversation before it slipped out in a drunken, babbling rant.

But, again, it was ridiculous to even fathom the idea of their betrayal.

Johnny briefly wondered if Matt had jumped to conclusions. He briefly wondered if Brian had jumped to conclusions. What if the girl was lying?

What if Johnny and Brian were chasing ghosts?

Johnny found himself in front of his old house. Somehow. It was in the middle of town, the heart of the city. An apartment placed not so quaintly in between two other old brick buildings. There was little space separating them, leaving no more than ten feet between them. The ground had been ambushed by trash and weeds. The front yard had not been taken care of in his absence, the new tenants obviously couldn't care less.

It was a shame.

Johnny remembered the first day he walked into that apartment. He was in his first year of college, searching for a house for himself and his long-time girlfriend, Lacey.

He was in love. Happy and care-free.

He and Lacey took care of that house, made love in that house, thought about their future in that house. Lacey died in that house.

Johnny grabbed a bat from the closet.

"Johnny-" Lacey's harsh, tired, frightened whisper was heard in the dark. "Johnny, what are you doing?" He gripped the bat tighter.

"Stay here, Lace. I'm going to be right back, I promise." In the dark, he saw her start to lift the sheets away from her body.

"Wait, I'll come-" There was another quiet bang from outside their door.

"No, Lace, it's probably nothing. Go back to sleep, Hun." He left without another word, his heart starting to beat in his throat, his breathing started to get a little heavier, but he made quick work of steadying it.

There was some sort of scratching heard in the dark, in the living room. Johnny crept out slowly, stepping in all the right places. He knew this house like the back of his hand. He reached out a shaky hand to the wall, taking a silent, deep breath and finally flicking the light switch on.

He let his eyes adjust to the light quickly, gripping the bat, ready to strike.

He saw nothing.

There was a slow click behind him, the familiar sound of a gun cocking.

"Put the bat down, deadweight." Johnny sighed, feeling defeated, letting his arms relax. He bent down to let the bat drop.

"I don't want troub-"

"Shut up." He felt cold metal touch the back of his neck and almost shivered.

"Just take what you-" The gun was forced harder onto his neck.

"I said. Shut. Up." A hand was placed on his shoulder, starting to turn him the left, bringing him around. "Don't turn around. Head back to where you came from. Walk." Johnny walked like a zombie, not forgetting the gun placed against his neck. "Faster. Let's go." He could only think of Lacey's safety. He didn't want to take him directly to her, so he did the fist thing that came to mind, adrenaline still coursing through his veins, mind you. He whipped around and grabbed the man's wrist, forcing it up as a shot rang out.

Johnny wrestled him to the ground, trying to get the gun out of his tight grip. He forced his hand into the ground, trying to shake it loose. He wouldn't let go.

Suddenly, a soft, feminine gasp was heard from behind Johnny.

"Oh God. I'll call the police." Johnny was distracted. It was just for a second.

But that was all it took for the Johnny's grip to slip, letting the criminal's hand raise.

A single shot was fired.

Johnny blinked, pushing bad memories back into his mind. He took one last look and finally turned around, heading South.

-*-

"Oh dear God. Seriously?" Zacky looked at me in horror. Jimmy frowned.

"Why would we have a tampon?"

"Well Zacky has something shoved up his ass. I think it's pretty safe to assume that it's a tampon." Zacky growled dangerously.

"Do you... do you need a... tampon?" I grinned viciously at Jimmy.

"You can handle breaking my bones, cutting me up into pieces and letting the blood run, killing my family in cold blood and even raping me, but my period makes you queasy, doesn't it?" They nodded. "So is that a no to my question?" They nodded again.

Zacky stood up and left the room. Jimmy and I watched him leave, but neither of us wanted to stop him. I felt a tingle of worry, but paid no mind to it. "Guess this means you can't rape me for a while."

"Knock on wood." He mumbled out.

I didn't.