Won't Turn Out Right

He teased me with a finger running barely over my entrance and I whimpered. I arched my back into him, running my hands over his body.

"Tell me you want me." I dug my nails into his arms.

"No." He punched me in the stomach twice.

"Say it."

"No." He slammed my head into the wall behind us and I finally punched him in the face. He barely flinched as he grabbed my arms and flipped me over, bending them behind me. He forced me onto my knees.

I tried to think of school, home, the park down the street. I pictured myself anywhere else in the world. I thought about my friends and family. I thought about rainbows and unicorns because I didn't want to think about Matt and the ripping sensation burning through me.

I screamed as he forced himself in and out of my ass. Faster and faster. Harder and faster. He tore me up.

But, like I said, I was trying not to think about that.

About the violation.

The humiliation.

The pain.

He pulled out of me and flipped me around. I barely moved as I shrunk into myself, sobbing. He kissed me hard to silence me and then he forced himself inside me again. A fear struck through me when I noticed that he wasn't wearing a condom.

"No." I groaned out in horror, but he took it as encouragement and pumped faster and deeper into me. "No..." I groaned again. Suddenly, his movements were more sporadic. His breathing became quicker, and he growled loudly. I felt him release inside me.

He pulled out of me and laid next to me while I curled away from him. Partially because of the pain and partially because of the fact that I didn't want to be naked next to him anymore. He held me in his arms, his chest to my back, and trailed kisses up and down my neck and shoulders tenderly.

"I knew you wanted me."

"Wh-what if I g-get pregnant?" He smiled against my hot skin giving me goose bumps.

"I'll beat the bastard out of you."

-*-

268... 269... 270... 272.... No, wait.... Shit.

I lost count again.

There was another bang from downstairs making me sigh and look away from the ceiling. I curled up on the couch and tried to fall asleep again, but my body wasn't having it. My mind was dog tired, but my body was restless. Maybe if I asked nicely, they would beat me unconscious. Then, maybe I'd get some much-needed sleep.

Every now and then, they would let out cheers and loud claps. They must have been watching the big game.

Men are stupid.

I stared out the double-layered Plexiglas windows and sighed. It was beautiful outside with a bright blue sky and cotton ball clouds. The sun shone in on the spot I was sitting in, warming me in the coldness of the room.

It was final. I had run out of tears.

I could feel my makeup stinging my eyes and drying on my cheeks, making them itchy, cold, and painful. My eyes must have been bloodshot and baggy. There must have been a couple of bruises forming, as well, on my cheeks and eyes. I could feel them swelling.

I couldn't walk, crawl, move.... My legs were bent and twisted from my fall down the stairs and my ankles were swollen and bloody. I was waiting for someone to come in any minute to, at the very least, bandage me up, but no one came.

And, I was still hungry. Very hungry.

Matt had tossed me on this couch as soon as he was finished with me, and, luckily, my panties had been tossed about two feet from my resting place. That was more than I could ask for so I held my arms over my chest in an attempt to cover myself.

Did I mention I was hungry?

There was another round of applause downstairs, and I let my head fall onto the arm of the couch.

Maybe they forgot about me. Maybe I'll die here, naked and bloody. Alone and starved. Pathetic. They'll remember next week and wonder 'whatever happened to the annoying girl we robbed, kidnapped, and raped? Oh... we forgot to feed her. Maybe she's dead.' Then they'll shrug. 'Oh well.'

You know what? As long as they don't touch me again, I'm pretty sure I would go down without a fight.

I looked up at the clouds again and tried to picture myself sleeping on them. White, fluffy, comfortable... cold.

It must be cold up there. Even with the sun shining... it's cold.

I shivered as a chill ran down my back. I tried to curl into the couch more, covering my ears to drown out the noise downstairs. I hummed something. Anything, to tune their happiness out.

I want to go to sleep. Just to escape. To escape the pain and the hunger and the cold.

I tried to steady my breathing, but ended up coughing as I felt a buzz in my lungs and my throat. Suddenly, there was a metallic taste in my mouth. There were speckles of blood on my arm and the couch when I finally pulled away.

I groaned and resumed my fetal position, burying my head into arms. I let out a hopeless sob without any tears to follow it up. I just didn't have the energy.

Wait.... What's that smell?

It smelled... delicious. It made my stomach growl, and twist into itself. I glanced up from my arms with a hopeful look.

The man I'd never met before stood at the door with a plate of food in his arms with an ugly smirk. I noticed that his white bandana was gone. He set the food down, his eyes never leaving mine. He stood back up, waved and winked, and turned around quickly to leave. I had no time to stop him or thank him or whatever thoughts were floating through my mind. I didn't care, though, because food was right there, in front of me.

I just had to reach it.

I ignored the splitting pain shooting through my body as I crawled off the couch and dragged the lower half of my body to the door. Inch by inch. Hand over hand. Breath after shaky breath.

I finally reached it and my mouth watered as I eyed up the peanut butter and jelly sandwich and bowl of macaroni and cheese. I almost started crying out of sheer joy. I took the spoon in a shaky hand and took a huge spoonful of the cheesy... goodness.

For Christ's sake, it was just Mac n' cheese, but it was beautiful.