In Love With A Tomboy

Izzy's POV:

I could feel a searing headache forming in the back of my head and then making its way throughout my whole body. I squinted my eyes and then tried to open them fully, but there was a bright light in front of me. I pried them open little by little until both of them were fully adjusted to the sunshine - which I later realized was pouring in through my open window.

I sat up a little and began looking around at my surroundings. I was in my room and it was morning.

'God, what happened last night?' I wondered to myself as my head pounded harder and faster. I held my hand up to my forehead to feel it was warm.

"Oh sweetie, I am so sorry!" A familiar voice said from somewhere.

I looked up and saw Spencer seated on the edge of my bed. All of a sudden, dark memories from last night came rushing back to me causing the pain in my head to increase. Before I could even say anything to her, Spencer grabbed me by the shoulders and into a hug. I could feel her own shoulders shaking and banging into mine.

'Was she crying?' I wondered to myself.

I pulled away from Spencer and yes, clear as daylight, there they were - big, fresh teardrops rolling down her flawless cheeks.

"Oh, Spence," I started wiping away her tears. "What are you so sorry about?"

"Oh, Izzy, I-I know I shouldn't have done this, but-but, I-I..." she couldn't finish her sentence, which only made me more anxious to know what it was that she had done.

"What is it, Spence? Come on, you know you can tell me anything."

And then in a quick flash, she spilled it out. "Joey asked me out."

I suddenly felt as if the walls were closing in on me and the room had suddenly heated up to a hundred degrees.

"What?!" I couldn't help crying out. I jumped out of bed and looked down at Spencer, hoping this was all just a big joke that the two of them were playing on me. "When?"

"I-in the woods. Last night. And-and he said that if I tried to run away, he-he'd m-m-mo...lest me!" Spencer finally managed to get out.

I was pacing around in front of her as she stammered and stuttered over her words, but by now I had stopped in front of her with both my hands pressing down on my head. All of this was so much - a little too much actually - it made me feel as if my head was about to explode.

"So.... What did you...?" I almost didn't want to know.

"I said yes." Spencer answered in an almost matter-of-fact way.

"Why?!" Now I was really exploding, almost out of my skin actually. "I mean, I guess I understand why; it's because you don't want to get.... But, I mean, he was my...!" I struggled to find the right words to say, but nothing came to mind and those that did, refused to come out of my mouth because they were the truth and the truth is never the easiest thing is to say. Finally, I just gave up and made up my mind on what I had to do at the moment. "I-I just need to get out of here!"

I ran out of the room before Spencer could stop and me and try to add to my woes. I ran until I got outside and even then I kept on running. I had no idea where I was going and I really didn't care. All those years of taking track and swimming and playing sports has put me in enough shape to keep going on for long periods of time and not feel exhausted - until later on, that is.

I somehow found myself back at the spot that I was at last night with Joey and Spencer. I stopped in front of the large boulder that had stopped me from running yesterday and glared angrily at it.

"Why?!" I cried out then. "Why did you do this to me, Joey?!" I started pounding my fits against the hard surface, not caring about the damage it was doing to my knuckles. "What the hell did I ever do to you to deserve something like this?!"

After a long time of yelling at the giant rock and punching all my anger out onto it, I finally fell to the ground, pressing my face against the ground and cried into the long pieces of grass. I felt so goddamn dead and empty inside; it was like there was this gigantic black hole in my chest that was getting bigger and bigger and trying to suck out my heart.

I lied there for so long that I didn't even realize it when my eyes ended up closing again and I had fallen asleep again until I woke up for a second time back in my room. I turned my head to the side to see if Spencer was still here and if she was the one who had found me and brought me back here, but I was surprised to find that it was actually Ben.

"Hey." he said, seeing that I was awake.

"Why are you here?" I asked him, without thinking first.

I was in a pretty rough mood and now not only was my head killing me, but both of my hands were as well. I groaned and looked down at them, it was then that I noticed that there were a few bandages placed over the fingers.

"Well, I-I saw you were hurt, so I thought of bringing you home and fixing you up, is all." Ben stammered back in answer.

I sat up and looked at him with sorry eyes. I sighed sadly before saying, "I'm sorry. I really didn't mean it like that."

"It's fine, I'm sure you're in a whole lot of pain." Ben gave me a faint smile while I tried to turn the corners of my own mouth up to return it, but it was too soon.

We sat in silence like that for a while. I sighed and Ben looked up at me.

"Tha-" I started to say at the same time that Ben said, "I-"

I gave a short laugh that even I knew was fake. "You first."

"Um, can I ask how you got hurt like that?" Ben stared at me with curious eyes.

I looked down at my hands, which were now throbbing along with my legs.

"I got pissed and took my anger out on the huge rock." I answered quietly.

"Why were you angry?" he wanted to know next.

"Because of-" I stopped myself and wondered if I should be telling Ben about this or not. I didn't really feel like telling other people about my love life, but Joey was his cousin and maybe he could help me out in some way. "Because of Joey. I found out the truth about him and just what kind of a guy he is."

"What do you mean?" Ben had his eyes furrowed. He probably didn't know anything about this; I wasn't surprised, they did live in two different places until this summer.

And so, I began filling Ben in about all the events that had just recently occurred. When I was done, Ben was staring at me like I was crazy and as if he didn't believe a word I had just uttered.

"Look, I may not know my cousin as well as I should, but what I do know is that he is nothing like that!" Ben told me slowly and carefully, as if I were too young to understand big boy words.

"Yeah, well, it doesn't even matter anymore," I grumbled, refusing to believe what exactly he thought about all of this. "It's done. We're done."

"What does that mean?"

I looked up and straight into his eyes. "Joey and I are. We're over. We're no longer in a relationship, got it?"

I moved my eyes away and tried to stifle a groan as another wave of pain went flashing through my whole body.

"Oh, ok then. I guess I should get going." I felt the bed move as he got off and started heading for the door.

But, by then, the gears in my head were already spinning and an idea was starting to form in the back of my bed, the area where there wasn't a horrible headache going on.

"Hey, Ben." I said aloud, causing him to stop and turn back around to face me.

"Yeah, Izzy?" I could just practically see the hope in his eyes shining brightly.

"Is...your offer still valid?" I was finally able to produce a small smile.

"What offer?" Ben furrowed his eyebrows again and I had to admit, he looked pretty cute.

"Come here," I beckoned him with my fingers, even though it hurt to do that. He walked back over to me with a curious look on his face. He took a seat back on the edge of my bed, but a bit closer than last time. "Remember the day that you asked me out?" I asked him carefully. "And I turned you down?"

"Um, yeah." I could see the disappoint taking over his face again just like it had the first time.

"Well, I accept." I told him promptly.

"But..." Ben seemed to be stuck; he wanted to badly accept, but he also wasn't quite sure of what I was saying. He probably thought I was thinking crazy and only saying all of this because I was mad at Joey. "What about Joey?" he said, confirming my suspicions.

"We're totally over and I'm completely over him." I answered him. I could feel a tear rolling down the side of my face as I said that, but I just ignored it.

"Are you sure?" Ben still seemed uncertain and it was making me a bit mad.

"Yes."

Ben stayed silent and just stared back at me with his deep eyes. He leaned forward and brushed that one tear away along with some of the others that had fallen before. His thumb rubbed across my jaw at the dry tear tracks. I could see him starting to lean forward and soon found his lips on mine. I didn't kiss him back, I couldn't; I had gotten so used to kissing Joey that it actually felt horrible for me to even think of kissing someone else. It just didn't feel right, even though Joey had no probably kissing another girl - that girl being one of my friends - and he no longer cared for me.

Ben pulled away then, interrupting my thoughts. I could see disappointment lining his eyes and face and I knew exactly why.

"I'm sorry," I told him. "I think I still need a little more time."

"I understand." Ben replied back giving me a smile that told me that he still enjoyed the kiss.

Ben raked his fingers through my hair a little and then stood up to leave. I thought fast and grabbed his arm though before he could move away.

"Stay with me, please." I whispered.

Ben's entire face broke out into a wide grin and he gave a short laugh. "Of course!"

I moved my hand down from Ben's arm to hold his hands. He interlaced our fingers together and then without thinking, I tugged on them bring him down next to me under the covers. I placed my head on top of his shoulder and snuggled close to his chest. Ben slowly and hesitantly wrapped his arm around waist and pulled me in closer to him.

It was all a bit too fast for me, but I knew it was better this way for both me and Joey. I found the courage to look up and into Ben's light green eyes and quickly found myself lost in them. They were like pools of green rivers just waiting for me to melt into them and capture me faster than quicksand. I could've stared into them for forever, if someone hadn't come barging in through the door.

Ben immediately pulled away from me and tried to sit up, but I grabbed a hold of his arm once again and pulled him back down. He felt so nice and warm, and soft, it felt so nice being so close to him like that.

But, I did turn around to see who it was that was at the door and simply couldn't knock on the door before entering in such a rude manner.

"Oh hey," it was Spencer, the last person I wanted to see at the moment. "I-I heard that you were home and I wanted to come and check on you to see if you were alright or not, but...I see you're all taken care of." I could sense a smile on her face though she tried her best to hide it. This scene right here probably amused her.

"Yeah, well now that you've seen that I'm fine, I guess you can go back to being with Joey!" I snapped back at her.

I didn't really want to let my anger out on Spencer like this, but I just couldn't help myself.

"Um, did I do something wrong, Izzy?" she asked me in an innocent voice.

I narrowed my eyes. "Like you don't know." I said in a hard voice.

Spencer stared at the ground while Ben's eyes were on mine practically burning a hole into the back of my head. I turned back around to face him, causing him to finally look away.

"Look, Izzy, I know what I did was wrong, but you have to understand - I had no other choice!" Spencer spoke up again, looking at me with desperate eyes. "You know what Joey said he would do if I refused or reported him. You know I didn't mean to steal your boyfriend like that and that there's nothing else I could do to get around it."

I knew that - I did! - so then why I was still so mad at her?

I slumped my shoulders, defeated, and shook my head at her.

"It-it's fine, just go now - please!" I told her, before lowering myself back onto my pillow and turning towards Ben.

I closed my eyes refusing to look at him until Spencer finally turned and walk out of the room, shutting the door behind her. When I opened my eyes, I saw Ben looking at me with a sad look on his face.

"You know she kinda has a point." He dared to say.

"I know that!" I cried out.

"Sorry, sorry."

"I..." I sighed deeply to calm myself down. "I know, I-I'm sorry."

Ben and I just lied there for a while, not saying a thing. Ben soon fell asleep and I got bored. I couldn't get up or even move from my position due to Ben's tightly wrapped arm around my waist. I didn't want to wake him up and be filled with the awkwardness again. So, I started to think.

I wondered if all of this was really the right thing to do or not. I mean, I was still crazily in love with Joey, no matter how much he's hurt me and what he's like. And I hated the fact that he was going out with Spencer.

'I mean, what did she have that I don't?!' I asked myself. And then I remembered. 'Oh that's right, I didn't want to 'do it' with him.'

And then I realized maybe if I just had my talk with Joey, then we could both somehow come up with a situation to all of this. That had been my plan from the start, but I never actually got the chance to do that and there's no way I'll be able to do that now either. There's also no way for me to break up with Ben, now that I think about it, because that would just break his heart into two and I don't think I'm capable of something like that.

'Oh lord, what have I gotten into this time?' were my last miserable thoughts before I allowed my eyes to close.