Fiction
Sometimes it helps.
With out the ones I loved, I don't believe I'd make it through this. Everyday I wake up, and at first I feel like I'll roll over and see Jimmy's peaceful, perfect face sleeping next to me. Its then that I look over and theres...Nothing. Just cold, empty sheets. Today was no exception.
The sun burned through the glass of the window right into my eyes, practically screaming for me to open them. Today, much like the last few weeks, I'd been fighting with myself to get up. It just wasn't worth getting up without him anymore. Inevitably, my eyes fluttered open and a loud sigh escaped my lips. The feeling of another day without him immediately came. The worst feeling in the world, a feeling I simply cannot explain. So I did what I had become an expert at in the last few months, pretend it wasn't real and closeed my eyes again.
"Wake up.." My eyes fluttered open. I looked up into the rich, dark eyes of Brian Haner. He gave me a half smile and rested his hand on my leg..
"Hey sweetheart, you think you might want to get up and get some lunch with me?" He carefully removed his aviators and placed them on the night stand next to the bed.
I let out a sigh “Yeah I suppose” I glanced at the clock “3 in the afternoon is a suitable time for me to get up.” I gave him a small smile, because frankly, that’s all I could give anymore. He pulled the covers off me.
“Well then it’s time to get up Dylan. No use in delaying it. I tried to call like three times, but you didn’t answer, got me a little worried. I’m starved, let’s hit Johnny’s.” he then stood up and reached out a hand for me to grab on to, which I gladly accepted.
In losing his best friend, I think he related to me the most, and we some how fell into sink always being together. We help each other out. Soon after we lost Jimmy, everything started to fall apart. He was like our glue. After the small tour for the new album, the guys felt it was best to take time off.. With the starting of families and such, it was just better, and with Meg being pregnant, Matt didn’t want to leave her side and I can’t say I blame him. Brian and Michelle were supposed to get married a few months ago, but even that fell apart, not that it was really ever together to begin with. After Matt and Meg got married it was like Michelle didn’t want a part of our family anymore. I think that was partly because she blamed Meg for Matt and Val’s split. When really it had nothing to do with that, the relationship was gone and when it’s gone it’s gone. Sometimes you can’t fix the broken.
It was more then a chore to get ready. Looking in the mirror to fix my hair disgusted me. It’s like I didn’t even know who was staring back at me, I look like a drug addict I’d lost so much weight.
Ripped jeans and with flats and a Vengeance University shirt, and I was ready to go. Brian had found a comfortable spot on my bed, playing on his Iphone. “Lets go” I said in the most joyful manor I could. He glanced up and snatched his glasses off the stand and stood up. I walked out the door first and at the stairs ahead of me.. On the walls following the steps down were the pictures of the most painful of memories. I practically ran down the steps.
The sun was blinding when I opened the door. I tried my hardest to stay indoors, but it wasn’t really working, Brian simply wouldn’t allow it. I opened the door to his black Tahoe and climbed it. Within seconds he was in the driver seat. Once the truck started it was like someone just stuck a knife in my heart. The sound filled the truck.
”Not that I could.
Nor that I would.
Let it burn,
Under my skin.
Let it burn..”
“Sorry babe, It helps sometimes just to hear him. To pretend he’s next to me.” Brian looked at me, hurt covered his face.
“Yeah, me too”
The sun burned through the glass of the window right into my eyes, practically screaming for me to open them. Today, much like the last few weeks, I'd been fighting with myself to get up. It just wasn't worth getting up without him anymore. Inevitably, my eyes fluttered open and a loud sigh escaped my lips. The feeling of another day without him immediately came. The worst feeling in the world, a feeling I simply cannot explain. So I did what I had become an expert at in the last few months, pretend it wasn't real and closeed my eyes again.
"Wake up.." My eyes fluttered open. I looked up into the rich, dark eyes of Brian Haner. He gave me a half smile and rested his hand on my leg..
"Hey sweetheart, you think you might want to get up and get some lunch with me?" He carefully removed his aviators and placed them on the night stand next to the bed.
I let out a sigh “Yeah I suppose” I glanced at the clock “3 in the afternoon is a suitable time for me to get up.” I gave him a small smile, because frankly, that’s all I could give anymore. He pulled the covers off me.
“Well then it’s time to get up Dylan. No use in delaying it. I tried to call like three times, but you didn’t answer, got me a little worried. I’m starved, let’s hit Johnny’s.” he then stood up and reached out a hand for me to grab on to, which I gladly accepted.
In losing his best friend, I think he related to me the most, and we some how fell into sink always being together. We help each other out. Soon after we lost Jimmy, everything started to fall apart. He was like our glue. After the small tour for the new album, the guys felt it was best to take time off.. With the starting of families and such, it was just better, and with Meg being pregnant, Matt didn’t want to leave her side and I can’t say I blame him. Brian and Michelle were supposed to get married a few months ago, but even that fell apart, not that it was really ever together to begin with. After Matt and Meg got married it was like Michelle didn’t want a part of our family anymore. I think that was partly because she blamed Meg for Matt and Val’s split. When really it had nothing to do with that, the relationship was gone and when it’s gone it’s gone. Sometimes you can’t fix the broken.
It was more then a chore to get ready. Looking in the mirror to fix my hair disgusted me. It’s like I didn’t even know who was staring back at me, I look like a drug addict I’d lost so much weight.
Ripped jeans and with flats and a Vengeance University shirt, and I was ready to go. Brian had found a comfortable spot on my bed, playing on his Iphone. “Lets go” I said in the most joyful manor I could. He glanced up and snatched his glasses off the stand and stood up. I walked out the door first and at the stairs ahead of me.. On the walls following the steps down were the pictures of the most painful of memories. I practically ran down the steps.
The sun was blinding when I opened the door. I tried my hardest to stay indoors, but it wasn’t really working, Brian simply wouldn’t allow it. I opened the door to his black Tahoe and climbed it. Within seconds he was in the driver seat. Once the truck started it was like someone just stuck a knife in my heart. The sound filled the truck.
”Not that I could.
Nor that I would.
Let it burn,
Under my skin.
Let it burn..”
“Sorry babe, It helps sometimes just to hear him. To pretend he’s next to me.” Brian looked at me, hurt covered his face.
“Yeah, me too”
♠ ♠ ♠
Miss you Jimmy <3R I P