All I Know Is To Keep Walking Round The Bend

As she walked towards the house party, Suzannah adjusted the large silk rose she had clipped just above her ear. It felt weird to be back in her ‘fairy princess’ clothes. The light, flimsy material was so different to the loose clothes she had been wearing recently. But she had to admit that it felt good too. The effect this ensemble had on people was worth the vulnerability it created. The figure-hugging yet floaty cream dress with its thin belt, combined with her long, curly blonde hair and the rose did indeed create the impression of an ethereal being. Of course, once they got close enough to see her face, that image evaporated. Suzannah knew that she would never be conventionally beautiful; her eyes were too small and lower lip too full for that. She was passably pretty she supposed. But compared to Arianna’s stunning looks she looked downright ugly. Never mind, she wasn’t in the mood for attracting male attention tonight anyway.

At the doorway, she dithered. She could sense that the majority of the guests were already very drunk and although watching drunken antics was often amusing, she knew from past experience that being the only sober person wasn’t fun. She’d never really done the whole getting plastered thing. She disliked the feeling of losing her self-control too much for that. Arianna grabbed her hand and smiled up at her.

“Come on babes. This is the first night of the rest of your life. Enjoy it!” She squeezed Suzannah’s hand, “I don’t want to go into this house without you.” That did it.

Taking a deep breath, Suzannah lifted her chin, put on her best smile and stepped into the badly lit hallway.

***

Half an hour later and Suzannah was fed up. This party was like all of the others. Everyone else was drunk, Arianna was surrounded by a group of adoring young men and several unsavoury characters had tried to proposition Suzannah with rubbish chat up lines. There was only so many times you could hear the words ‘you know you’re dead fit right?’ in one night. She just wanted to go home but her mum was away and no one else could give her a lift. Taking a taxi was also out of the question as she actually had no idea where she was.

The crowd on the makeshift dance floor in the dining room began to jump about like crazy to the Spice Girls. Well, it was different their previous gyrating, Suzannah thought, and this way she could play ‘guess who’ll fall over next’. She sat giggling to herself until the song changed. This one was some slow romantic number and everyone soon paired up and started making out. Girls Suzannah had thought were about as straight as they came were locked in lesbian embraces. Well that would be all over the university by tomorrow, she thought idly.

All of a sudden, the song got changed. The Beastie Boys was suddenly blasting out of the speakers and a large crowd of chavvy looking young men had suddenly materialised in front of her, going through the large archway to the dining room. They had an air of mischief about them and looked as if they were simply there to cause trouble. Great. So not where she wanted to be right now.

As quietly and unobtrusively as she could, Suzannah left the kitchen and went upstairs to see if she could find somewhere to be alone. The garden was out of the question, she’d heard those particular noises from the kitchen, but maybe there was a small box room or something. She pushed past the couples making out on the stairs and made her way towards a door that looked promising. It was at the end of the long landing and it was standing slightly ajar, suggesting that nothing... private was happening in there.

She gently knocked and, receiving no answer, went inside. It was empty. She left the door casually open in the hope no one would try and come in and went to sit on the windowsill. The moon was so large tonight. It was so beautiful. Jupiter was also very bright. From there, Suzannah began to mentally point out all of the summer constellations to herself. When she was little, her dad used to teach her about the stars on the way back from Brownies. She missed him so much. She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn’t hear the boy enter the room until he spoke.

“Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realise anyone was in here.” Startled Suzannah turned towards the speaker. “I didn’t mean to scare you either. I’m not doing well am I? Tonight’s really not my night.”

“No, it’s ok. I don’t mind.” Suzannah had absolutely no idea why she was saying the words that were coming out of her mouth. She did mind, she wanted to be alone didn’t she? But he seemed nice and his words weren’t slurred. Of course he might be an utter creep, but she couldn’t see his face to try and guess that particular fact.

“Are you sure?” He took a step forward and then hesitated. In the dim light Suzannah could see him bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. “I don’t want to disturb you.”

“You won’t. I just wanted to get away from the mayhem downstairs.” At her words, he seemed to relax and he made his way to the other window. His face was still in shadow but as he moved, Suzannah could make out a tall, slim figure, dressed in the usual student uniform of jeans and a shirt and, for some inexplicable reason, wearing a woolly hat. In the summer. Right.

They sat for some time in complete silence. Suzannah tried to re-immerse herself back into the stars, but the stranger kept distracting her. Why was he so quiet? How come he was sitting so still? Why couldn’t she stop looking at him?

Eventually he spoke.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you around before. What are you studying?” His voice was deep and pleasant, with only a slight hint of an accent.

“I’m not.” She found that she was blushing. “I’m still at school. I only came here because my best friend wanted to.”

“Ah, I see.” He sounded thoughtful. “And who is she?”

“Arianna Jones, she’s studying physics.” Suzannah was so proud of her best friend for choosing a subject that so few females chose to study.

“I’ve heard of her. She’s one of the most popular girls in the university. How come you’re best friends?” He sounded genuinely interested and not just morbidly curious.

“I’ve known her since nursery.” Since he was being so forward, Suzannah decided that two could play at that game. “What are you studying?”

“Music. It’s the air that I breathe.” He stated simply. This moved Suzannah to the core. He was being so open with her. She was unused to the male ‘species’ as she liked to think of them, being like this. He moved from his seat and came towards her, stopping a few metres away. His face was now in the sunlight and Suzannah’s mouth went dry. He was beautiful, truly stunning. She fought to maintain her composure and keep her tone light.

“Wow, that’s pretty cool.” She said conversationally. “You’re so lucky to have a passion.” Unconsciously she sighed. She’d never really known what she wanted to do. She was going to study English merely because she liked reading.

“You’ll figure yours out soon enough I’m sure.” He smiled and it lit up the room like a candle. Something deep within Suzannah gave a little leap. She repressed it.

“I hope so!” She replied, attempting a casual laugh and failing miserably. Just then, she heard Arianna’s voice calling her name. It was time to go. Taking a deep breath to steel herself for walking past this mysterious, gorgeous boy, she got up. “I’ve got to go. Thanks for talking to me.” She had almost reached the door which was still innocently standing partly open, when she heard his voice behind her.

“Wait! I don’t know your name.” She wasn’t expecting this.

“Suzannah,” She half smiled, “I know, it’s a mouthful. Yours?” She looked back, only to find him a few steps away from her. His eyes were blue, she noticed, and his mop of blonde hair was a complete mess.

“Johnny. It’s been lovely to meet you Suzannah,” A thrill went through her as he said her name, “I hope we meet again soon.”

As she walked towards the taxi Arianna had pre-booked, his parting sentence echoed in her mind: ‘I hope we meet again soon’. Yeah right, she’d never see that boy again and even if she did, she doubted he’d remember her. Well that’s what her head kept saying, and her head was a logical being. So why had those words given her such a thrill?