Believe Me I'm Lying

Back on the bus and Caleb was going out as usual but I’d given up caring. “You told them girls you were single,” I said as he appeared on my bunk.

I looked at him and half smiled, he wasn't a great boyfriend but he was good looking. No matter what was going on Caleb could be relied on to look good, you could put him in anything and he'd look better than most.

He was wearing black skinny jeans with a pair of vans and a red plaid shirt and his hair was perfect.

“Yeah I didn’t know if you wanted people knowing” he explained and I nodded as I felt his hand grasp mine.

“Well okay see you later” he stated and I smiled, “Love you” he said kissing me before getting out.

“You too” I replied as I got up and followed him down to the kitchen area to see Jonathan gazing out the window.

“You coming?” Caleb asked and Jonathan shook his head.

Stood together I found it hard not to compare them sometimes and every time I came to the same stupid conclusion.

They were almost opposites of each other, Caleb most girls would admit was hot where as Jonathan wasn't every ones type.

They were almost identical in height but different in their style. Caleb loved orange, skinny jeans, tight fitting clothes and on most occasions never wore shoes.

Jonathan loved green, new era hats, Nike's, straight leg jeans and anything related to Texas.

Caleb partied almost constantly but Jonathan knew how to take things slow and live the quiet life as well being able to party.

Caleb as far as I was aware hadn't really spoken to his family much since the tour started but Jonathan spoke to his nearly everyday and I loved that about him.

Jonathan knew who he was and he wasn't afraid to let it show but Caleb would adapt to those around him.

Caleb knew he was good looking and mostly relied on that to see him through with girls where as Jonathan knew if he couldn't get you with his looks he'd damn sure get you with his words and he wouldn't stop until you noticed him.

My conclusion? Caleb had looks and a personality and to somebody he'd be perfect if only they could get him to really try, maybe I wasn't good enough for him and that's why he didn't make an effort.

But Jonathan had looks and a personality that knocked Caleb's out the park, knowing what I knew now I'd never pick Caleb over Jonathan.

Caleb was the sort of guy that made you feel good because you knew others wanted him but he was with you.

Jonathan was the sort of guy you didn't care what others thought or wanted because you had him and he'd turn himself inside out to give you whatever you needed.

When I thought of losing Caleb it didn't really bother me, sure I'd be sad because I had liked him so much to start with but I knew I wouldn't be heartbroken. But the mere thought of losing Jonathan made me feel sick, I knew I couldn't live this way forever.

I couldn't stay with Caleb and sleep with Jonathan behind his back for the rest of my life but I knew I'd never willingly give Jonathan up and if ever forced into it I'd resent whoever made me do it.

Knowing Jonathan felt the same way as me made things worse, if ever forced to stop this we'd have to be separated permanently, I couldn't be his friend knowing what I knew about him and having done we'd we'd done because every time I saw him I'd want to be with him.

“I can’t drink on my tablets” Jonathan explained pulling me from my thoughts.

“You don’t have to drink she had other things on her mind. She wanted you!” Caleb replied winking and Jonathan rolled his eyes.

Caleb was definitely the type that if in Jonathan's shoes would take the girl up on the offer I had my suspicions he'd take her up on it in his own situation, Jonathan would never take advantage of that sort of offer.

Not now not ever, he jut didn't need that sort of thing to get by and his morals were too strong to allow him to do that sort of a thing to another person even though I knew what we were doing was compromising almost every moral he had.

“Bad shoulder, when the doctor said rest he meant rest it not go sleep around” Jonathan snapped back.

“Alright then your loss!” Caleb replied and he turned and left.

* Later *

I walked back on the bus after taking some work over to Sam to hear the shower going. I opened the bathroom door to see Jonathan’s clothes on the floor and locked the door behind me.

I smiled as I got in the shower & he jumped as I touched his back.

“Tal what are you doing?” he asked smiling at me.

“Having a shower” I replied smiling back at him as I traced my hand down his chest.

“Well I was too, but I was doing it the conventional way. You know no clothes,” he said pointing out the obvious fact he was naked.

I laughed as he grabbed my hands linking his wet fingers through my own.

“I’m aware of the fact I’m naked and your fully clothed” he said and I sensed he was partly embarrassed and I pulled off my dress so I was just in my underwear.

“Better?” I asked and he nodded as he backed me into the wall.

I ran my hands through his wet hair as he kissed my neck & pulled off my underwear. I pulled him closer & wrapped my arms round his neck feeling his wet skin against my own.

“I thought you were resting?” I teased and he smiled at me.

“Well you’ll just have to be gentle with me” he whispered as he picked me up and I wrapped my legs round him.

I noticed he kept moving awkwardly “Are you okay?” I asked taking deep breaths.

He nodded carrying on kissing me and grazing his teeth on my lip occasionally.

“Guys! Where are you?” someone shouted and we both froze, we stared at each other in shock.

If we were caught kissing we could maybe pass it off some how if we were really lucky but being caught in the shower together in this position was never going to end well.

“Is the bathroom door locked?” he whispered and I nodded, terrified of being caught out.

We'd come close a few times, once Marc had walked onto the bus mere seconds after we'd been making out and he caught me sat on Jonathan's lap one day as well.

Kent had caught us flirting outrageously backstage once but Jonathan had told him I was feeling down and he was trying to cheer me up and luckily we'd got away with it every time and both agreed that we needed to be extra careful.

“Tally where are you?” I heard the person ask and recognized the voice.

“Austin is that you? I’m in the shower,” I shouted back as Jonathan tried not to laugh at the fact of what we were doing.

“Yeah, where’s Jonathan?” he shouted back and I could tell he was stood just outside the door. Tour bus doors aren't exactly thick and with a sharp hit they'd open almost straight away.

I panicked “Doctors! He’d run out of pills so he’s gone to his house for a prescription” I lied badly and Jonathan rolled his eyes realizing he'd have to keep this lie up when asked later.

“Oh okay, I’m going to Kyle’s bus see you later” Austin shouted and we waited for the door to the bus to shut and for silence to signal he really had left.

“That was close” I admitted feeling relieved.

“I know” he stated and pushed me against the wall and thrust into me, I bit my lip to keep quiet.

“Stop!” I demanded as he pulled back putting me down.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked looking terrified that he might have caused me any form of pain as he ran his hands down my body as if to reassure me and make me feel safer.

I shook my head “Are you okay?” I asked and he nodded as if it was a stupid question.

I ran my hand across his shoulder and heard his breath catch as he closed his eyes biting his lip.

“Okay enough, your in pain” I stated and he shook his head, “Don’t lie to me Cook” I said and he smiled.

“Okay Lyons, my shoulder hurts. A lot!” he admitted and I kissed him.

We got out the shower, he grabbed some sweatpants a tee and got dressed & I put my pajamas on with 1 Jonathan's hoody.

I snuggled next to him on the couch and he wrapped an arm round me pulling me as close to his side as possible.

“I wish we could do this & not care who saw” he said quietly.

“Maybe one day” I replied and he nodded.