Believe Me I'm Lying
35
As he predicted I ‘kicked up a fuss’ about Jonathan staying with me tonight and Max agreed. “Told you he was nice” I said as Jonathan got in my bed.
“He gave me that talk” he smiled.
“Well you just get the one in this house, no brother talk, mother talk and father talk just Max’s talk” I said and he smiled.
“I get the feeling I should actually be scared of him” I admitted and I shrugged.
“You should only be scared if you don’t do as he says. So you like my house?” I asked and he nodded.
“It’s nice, just you 2 live here?” I nodded.
“Sam must pay you well to afford it” he stated but I shook my head.
“Nowhere near enough, he works 3 jobs so we can live here and so I can do what I’ve always wanted” I admitted feeling guilty as usual.
“Really?” he asked and I nodded.
“I wanted to get a job locally but he knew I’d always wanted to work in music so he made me accept Sam’s offer. He works 5 days a week in an office, 3 nights a week in a bar and every other weekend taxi driving just so we can live here and I can do what I want” I said as tears came to my eyes.
Jonathan looked at me confused “I hate that I get to do what I want but he has to work so hard for me to do it. I wish there was another way but he won’t let me quit, I work hard for Sam because it’s the only way I can repay Max. He never made me work while I was at school and he was always there to help me with homework, I feel so guilty for it all. Our grandparents paid for the deposit on this place when he moved out but we can’t rely on them they deserve to grow old happy not worrying their grand kids might not afford the rent one month.”
He pulled me into a hug “He must like doing it otherwise he’d refuse to look after you” he whispered.
“He does like it but I don’t. He works so hard just to see me happy, he put up with the abuse at home just to keep me happy for longer, I know for a fact he tries every spare second to find mom and to get dad to come visit but it never works” I admitted.
“Has he always been like that?” he asked and I shook my head.
“When we were little we were just normal kids but when dad left he was 10 and he understood it all, Max was the man of the house now. I remember he came to my room and told me that dad had gone and he wasn’t coming back but that it didn’t mean it was our fault and he still loved us but he loved us more from afar than up close. Pappy said to him that he should look out for us but I don’t think he ever meant it to go this far. If mom went out I’d cry for hours and Max would sit with me until she came home and he never once told me off. I can’t remember the last time he shouted at me, he has a girlfriend Harriet who stays here when she’s home from college” I explained.
“Is this his weekend off?” he asked and I nodded against his chest.
“Why don’t you 2 go out somewhere one day, I’ll stay here and do some writing and you can go out” he offered and I shook my head.
“No I brought you here, we can go out together” I replied as he moved my face towards his.
“I see you everyday, go out with your brother. It’s not like I don’t have anything to do” he smiled kissing me.
“Okay” I replied as I rested my hand on his side and drifted off to sleep.
“He gave me that talk” he smiled.
“Well you just get the one in this house, no brother talk, mother talk and father talk just Max’s talk” I said and he smiled.
“I get the feeling I should actually be scared of him” I admitted and I shrugged.
“You should only be scared if you don’t do as he says. So you like my house?” I asked and he nodded.
“It’s nice, just you 2 live here?” I nodded.
“Sam must pay you well to afford it” he stated but I shook my head.
“Nowhere near enough, he works 3 jobs so we can live here and so I can do what I’ve always wanted” I admitted feeling guilty as usual.
“Really?” he asked and I nodded.
“I wanted to get a job locally but he knew I’d always wanted to work in music so he made me accept Sam’s offer. He works 5 days a week in an office, 3 nights a week in a bar and every other weekend taxi driving just so we can live here and I can do what I want” I said as tears came to my eyes.
Jonathan looked at me confused “I hate that I get to do what I want but he has to work so hard for me to do it. I wish there was another way but he won’t let me quit, I work hard for Sam because it’s the only way I can repay Max. He never made me work while I was at school and he was always there to help me with homework, I feel so guilty for it all. Our grandparents paid for the deposit on this place when he moved out but we can’t rely on them they deserve to grow old happy not worrying their grand kids might not afford the rent one month.”
He pulled me into a hug “He must like doing it otherwise he’d refuse to look after you” he whispered.
“He does like it but I don’t. He works so hard just to see me happy, he put up with the abuse at home just to keep me happy for longer, I know for a fact he tries every spare second to find mom and to get dad to come visit but it never works” I admitted.
“Has he always been like that?” he asked and I shook my head.
“When we were little we were just normal kids but when dad left he was 10 and he understood it all, Max was the man of the house now. I remember he came to my room and told me that dad had gone and he wasn’t coming back but that it didn’t mean it was our fault and he still loved us but he loved us more from afar than up close. Pappy said to him that he should look out for us but I don’t think he ever meant it to go this far. If mom went out I’d cry for hours and Max would sit with me until she came home and he never once told me off. I can’t remember the last time he shouted at me, he has a girlfriend Harriet who stays here when she’s home from college” I explained.
“Is this his weekend off?” he asked and I nodded against his chest.
“Why don’t you 2 go out somewhere one day, I’ll stay here and do some writing and you can go out” he offered and I shook my head.
“No I brought you here, we can go out together” I replied as he moved my face towards his.
“I see you everyday, go out with your brother. It’s not like I don’t have anything to do” he smiled kissing me.
“Okay” I replied as I rested my hand on his side and drifted off to sleep.