Status: Active
Die Barbie, It's My Turn Now
Besties & Burgers
Poppin bottles in the ice, like a blizzard
When we drink we do it right gettin slizzard
Sippin sizzurp in my ride, like Three 6
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6
I silence my phones ringtone and sigh. That was Mariah. AGAIN. I’ve been avoiding her for the last two days not wanting to tell her about Drake. I still cant believe that sperm sipping dweeb.
While thinking of way to tell her without her going postal on me my stomach starts growling. Dinner time.
I walk past Dylan’s room on my way to the kitchen. He’s vacuuming his floor in briefs, using the handle as a microphone singing to ‘Fergalicious’ which is blasting out his stereo system. I get out my phone and record him while he continues to shake his donk in the mirror. Faceboookkkk. I save the video, smile in triumph, and continue to the kitchen.
My mom is sitting at island with our next door neighbor Miles, drinking coffee.
“Hey mom, Miles. What brings you over tonight?” I ask while opening the refrigerator door looking for some grub. Empty. Damn! Damn! Damn!
He clears his throat, “Actually I came over to speak to you. Well before your mom tempted me with her famous coffee”. He smiles at my mom and she looks down bashfully at the coffee mug placed in between her hands but doesn’t say anything. I squint my eyes at the situation but then wave it off. Miles is like half her age, plus she would never cheat on my dad.
“Moi????” I ask batting my eyes.
Did I forget to mention Miles was HOT. He’s 29 and moved here from England a year ago. Yes he has a British accent. God he’s so yummy.
“Well I recently had to fire one of my interns and I remembered that you were interested in a career in the music industry…”
WAIT PAUSE! I forgot to tell you, it is my calling in life to own a major record label. I am married to music [even tattooed “MUSIC” on the side of my ring finger on my left hand to seal the deal]. Completely in love but since I was cursed with the vocal pipes of a dying ferret, I will instead find great music to share with the world. The Soulja Boys of music need to rest in peace. OKAY PLAY!
“…and wanted to know if you were-“
“YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! AND A MILLION MORE TIMES YES!!” I scream cutting him of, jumping up and down with excitement.
He laughs, “So is that a yes?” he teases.
“That’s a HELLLLLLLLLLLLLL YESSSS! You should actually go because I’m like this close from jumping your bones and conceiving your children” I say putting my index and thumb finger an inch apart to dramatize “this”.
“Kai!” my mom yelps gawking at me. Miles laughs wholeheartedly.
I roll my eyes. “Fine mom, no kids. No strings attached sex it is. I just thought you’d enjoy some good looking grandkids.”
She looks at Miles pleadingly. “Please excuse her. I have no idea where she learned to be so frisky.” Ha! Frisky!
He shakes his head smiling, “it’s quite alright. It’s all apart of her charm which is one reason I want you to come work for me anyway. You’d think with so many celebrities walking around Maestro records it’d be exciting non-stop, but really it’s unbelievably boring.”
I put my hand to my chin. “Hmm everybody has a stick up their ass aye?”
“Kai...” my mother warned and from the sound of it for the last time.
I smile at her. “Are you sure you’re not working at Maestro Records mom?”
“You know I don’t Kai. Why even ask?” she exasperated
“Because woman the immovable log up your bum is starting to be a nuisance.” I tease giving her a hug.
“Kai!”
DING DONG. Ha! Saved by the bell…literally.
“I’ll get it!” I yell running for the door before she can say anything.
I open the door with a smile, then it fades as quickly as it appeared. Shit.
“Are you going to let me in whore?” Mariah asks.
I move to the side so she can walk in then shut the door behind her.
“So why have you been ignoring my calls for the past couple days?” she inquires.
A laugh nervously, “What are you talking about? I haven’t been ignoring you mimi.” Deny. Deny. Deny.
She gives me the -_- look then waits for me to admit the truth.
“Lets go get something to eat!” I suggest.
“What? Don’t think you can-“
I interrupt her. “I’m starving and there is zero food in this bitch. Come on.”
I pull her towards the garage door.
“Mom me and Mariah are going to get something to eat!” I call out.
“Ok! Bye girls!” she answers.
I unlock the doors to my baby, a 2008 Dodge Charger STR8, my fabulous sweet 16 gift.
“Where do you want to go?” I ask.
“Wherever.” She replies nonchalantly texting on her phone.
“Daisy’s it is.”
I pull into Daisy’s parking lot and walk in. Daisy’s is the local diner joint that has the best burgers and shakes in the world. They’re like having orgasms in your mouth for real! Anyway! Of course like any other night everybody is packed in here like sardines.
“Bobby! What’s up sexy?” Mariah called out to Bobby who was standing in front of the kitchen window grilling. Bobby owns Daisy’s. His grandmother, Daisy, started it 50 years ago and it’s been around ever since.
“Mariah! Baby! When are you gonna let me take you out?”
She smirks. “I don’t think Naomi would appreciate that.”
Naomi is his wife. They’ve been married for 3 years and she’s 6 months preggers.
“Please! She loves you more than me. I’m thinking threesome.” He says smiling.
“I’m thinking not. Stop being such a skeez Bobby.” I tease
He smiles. “Always blocking. Hey Kai-o-bunga.”
“Hey sweet thang!”
Bobby signals for the waiter on the floor to come over and points to us. “Anything these ladies want. On the house.” Oh how I love him!
The waiter looks surprised. “Damn what’s your secret? This cheap bastard doesn’t give anything away free.” He wonders.
Bobby laughs. “What can I say? They give great BJ’s.”
I stick my tongue at Bobby but don’t say anything. We see a couple stands from a booth and run over to get it.
Another waiter comes over, hands us menu’s, then says he’ll be right back.
“Ok darling, choose anything you want. It’s on me.” I say winking.
Mariah smirks. “Mmm mommy. I love it when you splurge on me. You’re getting it good tonight!” She winks back.
I laugh. “You gonna do that thing I like right?”
“Oooh yeah. You mean this?” she runs her hand up my thigh.
“Mariah!” I yell.
She laughs uncontrollably. She leans over holding her side trying to catch her breath.
“You…should have…seen…your face.” She says in between breaths.
“Shut up. Such a slore. (slut and whore)” I mutter.
The waiter comes back and introduces himself as Jackson, and he’ll be taking care of us today. We both order bacon cheese burgers, with chili fries, and a chocolate banana swirl shake. (*A/N: Am I the only one who cant spell banana without singing Gwen Stefani’s Hollerback Girl? lol)
Once he leaves, but not before a little 2 on 1 flirting with us, Mariah turns to me.
“Okay Kai spill. W.T.F. is going on? Why have you been ignoring me?”
I sigh. “I haven’t been ignoring you, you spaz (liess). Stop being so paranoid.”
She rolls her eyes. “News flash skank-o-la! I’m not a dumbass..”
“That’s up for consideration.” I mutter smirking.
She ignores me and continues. “Something’s up and I know it because I called Dylan after I called you, for the gazillionth time, the other day to go spy and see if you were ignoring me and he saw it with his own eyes that you SILENCED my phone call.” I’m def uploading that video TONIGHT! !
“So what is it? What’s going on?” she questions.
Here goes nothing. I look down, inhale deeply then just let it all out, “IsawThatYeastInfectedAssBubbleDrakeCheatingOnYouWithSomePamelaAndersonReject!” I blurt out all at once not taking a breath.
I look up and see Mariah smiling and waving at someone behind me. I turn around and see three guys sitting four tables away staring back. I turn back around to face her.
“Mariah!”
She jumps and looks at me like I’m a complete idiot. “What?!?”
I look at her incredulously. “Hellloooo! Did you not hear anything I just said? Dylan...cheater…whore..ring any bells???” I ask.
She rolls her eyes and continues smiling back at the guys. “Yeah I heard you. So?”
Wtf. So? “What the hell do you mean so? I would think you be concerned about your boyfriend CHEATING ON YOU!”
“Kai. Do you seriously think I give a damn about Drake?”
I didn’t know so I let her continue.
“He was scum. Trust me I know that. He’s probably been cheating on me long before that but I didn’t care. I was only using him because he had money and he spent that money on me thinking he’d get in my pants. That’s it.”
I did nothing but smile, loving my bestfriend more and more.
“Now…” she says smiling at me, “are you really going to let me juggle these three delicious men all by myself?”
She mouths ‘Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?’ to them. They all smile, look at each other, then get up and start walking to our table. I notice one looks just like Matt Lander from 90210 and has the exact same gorgeous blue eyes.
I smile back at her. “Dibs on Matt Lander”.
They reach the table and greet us with smiles.
Helloooo gorgeous!
When we drink we do it right gettin slizzard
Sippin sizzurp in my ride, like Three 6
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6
I silence my phones ringtone and sigh. That was Mariah. AGAIN. I’ve been avoiding her for the last two days not wanting to tell her about Drake. I still cant believe that sperm sipping dweeb.
While thinking of way to tell her without her going postal on me my stomach starts growling. Dinner time.
I walk past Dylan’s room on my way to the kitchen. He’s vacuuming his floor in briefs, using the handle as a microphone singing to ‘Fergalicious’ which is blasting out his stereo system. I get out my phone and record him while he continues to shake his donk in the mirror. Faceboookkkk. I save the video, smile in triumph, and continue to the kitchen.
My mom is sitting at island with our next door neighbor Miles, drinking coffee.
“Hey mom, Miles. What brings you over tonight?” I ask while opening the refrigerator door looking for some grub. Empty. Damn! Damn! Damn!
He clears his throat, “Actually I came over to speak to you. Well before your mom tempted me with her famous coffee”. He smiles at my mom and she looks down bashfully at the coffee mug placed in between her hands but doesn’t say anything. I squint my eyes at the situation but then wave it off. Miles is like half her age, plus she would never cheat on my dad.
“Moi????” I ask batting my eyes.
Did I forget to mention Miles was HOT. He’s 29 and moved here from England a year ago. Yes he has a British accent. God he’s so yummy.
“Well I recently had to fire one of my interns and I remembered that you were interested in a career in the music industry…”
WAIT PAUSE! I forgot to tell you, it is my calling in life to own a major record label. I am married to music [even tattooed “MUSIC” on the side of my ring finger on my left hand to seal the deal]. Completely in love but since I was cursed with the vocal pipes of a dying ferret, I will instead find great music to share with the world. The Soulja Boys of music need to rest in peace. OKAY PLAY!
“…and wanted to know if you were-“
“YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! AND A MILLION MORE TIMES YES!!” I scream cutting him of, jumping up and down with excitement.
He laughs, “So is that a yes?” he teases.
“That’s a HELLLLLLLLLLLLLL YESSSS! You should actually go because I’m like this close from jumping your bones and conceiving your children” I say putting my index and thumb finger an inch apart to dramatize “this”.
“Kai!” my mom yelps gawking at me. Miles laughs wholeheartedly.
I roll my eyes. “Fine mom, no kids. No strings attached sex it is. I just thought you’d enjoy some good looking grandkids.”
She looks at Miles pleadingly. “Please excuse her. I have no idea where she learned to be so frisky.” Ha! Frisky!
He shakes his head smiling, “it’s quite alright. It’s all apart of her charm which is one reason I want you to come work for me anyway. You’d think with so many celebrities walking around Maestro records it’d be exciting non-stop, but really it’s unbelievably boring.”
I put my hand to my chin. “Hmm everybody has a stick up their ass aye?”
“Kai...” my mother warned and from the sound of it for the last time.
I smile at her. “Are you sure you’re not working at Maestro Records mom?”
“You know I don’t Kai. Why even ask?” she exasperated
“Because woman the immovable log up your bum is starting to be a nuisance.” I tease giving her a hug.
“Kai!”
DING DONG. Ha! Saved by the bell…literally.
“I’ll get it!” I yell running for the door before she can say anything.
I open the door with a smile, then it fades as quickly as it appeared. Shit.
“Are you going to let me in whore?” Mariah asks.
I move to the side so she can walk in then shut the door behind her.
“So why have you been ignoring my calls for the past couple days?” she inquires.
A laugh nervously, “What are you talking about? I haven’t been ignoring you mimi.” Deny. Deny. Deny.
She gives me the -_- look then waits for me to admit the truth.
“Lets go get something to eat!” I suggest.
“What? Don’t think you can-“
I interrupt her. “I’m starving and there is zero food in this bitch. Come on.”
I pull her towards the garage door.
“Mom me and Mariah are going to get something to eat!” I call out.
“Ok! Bye girls!” she answers.
I unlock the doors to my baby, a 2008 Dodge Charger STR8, my fabulous sweet 16 gift.
“Where do you want to go?” I ask.
“Wherever.” She replies nonchalantly texting on her phone.
“Daisy’s it is.”
I pull into Daisy’s parking lot and walk in. Daisy’s is the local diner joint that has the best burgers and shakes in the world. They’re like having orgasms in your mouth for real! Anyway! Of course like any other night everybody is packed in here like sardines.
“Bobby! What’s up sexy?” Mariah called out to Bobby who was standing in front of the kitchen window grilling. Bobby owns Daisy’s. His grandmother, Daisy, started it 50 years ago and it’s been around ever since.
“Mariah! Baby! When are you gonna let me take you out?”
She smirks. “I don’t think Naomi would appreciate that.”
Naomi is his wife. They’ve been married for 3 years and she’s 6 months preggers.
“Please! She loves you more than me. I’m thinking threesome.” He says smiling.
“I’m thinking not. Stop being such a skeez Bobby.” I tease
He smiles. “Always blocking. Hey Kai-o-bunga.”
“Hey sweet thang!”
Bobby signals for the waiter on the floor to come over and points to us. “Anything these ladies want. On the house.” Oh how I love him!
The waiter looks surprised. “Damn what’s your secret? This cheap bastard doesn’t give anything away free.” He wonders.
Bobby laughs. “What can I say? They give great BJ’s.”
I stick my tongue at Bobby but don’t say anything. We see a couple stands from a booth and run over to get it.
Another waiter comes over, hands us menu’s, then says he’ll be right back.
“Ok darling, choose anything you want. It’s on me.” I say winking.
Mariah smirks. “Mmm mommy. I love it when you splurge on me. You’re getting it good tonight!” She winks back.
I laugh. “You gonna do that thing I like right?”
“Oooh yeah. You mean this?” she runs her hand up my thigh.
“Mariah!” I yell.
She laughs uncontrollably. She leans over holding her side trying to catch her breath.
“You…should have…seen…your face.” She says in between breaths.
“Shut up. Such a slore. (slut and whore)” I mutter.
The waiter comes back and introduces himself as Jackson, and he’ll be taking care of us today. We both order bacon cheese burgers, with chili fries, and a chocolate banana swirl shake. (*A/N: Am I the only one who cant spell banana without singing Gwen Stefani’s Hollerback Girl? lol)
Once he leaves, but not before a little 2 on 1 flirting with us, Mariah turns to me.
“Okay Kai spill. W.T.F. is going on? Why have you been ignoring me?”
I sigh. “I haven’t been ignoring you, you spaz (liess). Stop being so paranoid.”
She rolls her eyes. “News flash skank-o-la! I’m not a dumbass..”
“That’s up for consideration.” I mutter smirking.
She ignores me and continues. “Something’s up and I know it because I called Dylan after I called you, for the gazillionth time, the other day to go spy and see if you were ignoring me and he saw it with his own eyes that you SILENCED my phone call.” I’m def uploading that video TONIGHT! !
“So what is it? What’s going on?” she questions.
Here goes nothing. I look down, inhale deeply then just let it all out, “IsawThatYeastInfectedAssBubbleDrakeCheatingOnYouWithSomePamelaAndersonReject!” I blurt out all at once not taking a breath.
I look up and see Mariah smiling and waving at someone behind me. I turn around and see three guys sitting four tables away staring back. I turn back around to face her.
“Mariah!”
She jumps and looks at me like I’m a complete idiot. “What?!?”
I look at her incredulously. “Hellloooo! Did you not hear anything I just said? Dylan...cheater…whore..ring any bells???” I ask.
She rolls her eyes and continues smiling back at the guys. “Yeah I heard you. So?”
Wtf. So? “What the hell do you mean so? I would think you be concerned about your boyfriend CHEATING ON YOU!”
“Kai. Do you seriously think I give a damn about Drake?”
I didn’t know so I let her continue.
“He was scum. Trust me I know that. He’s probably been cheating on me long before that but I didn’t care. I was only using him because he had money and he spent that money on me thinking he’d get in my pants. That’s it.”
I did nothing but smile, loving my bestfriend more and more.
“Now…” she says smiling at me, “are you really going to let me juggle these three delicious men all by myself?”
She mouths ‘Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?’ to them. They all smile, look at each other, then get up and start walking to our table. I notice one looks just like Matt Lander from 90210 and has the exact same gorgeous blue eyes.
I smile back at her. “Dibs on Matt Lander”.
They reach the table and greet us with smiles.
Helloooo gorgeous!