Snap!

~

Bill awoke on the couch, his face stiff with dried tears and his hair in knots. Licking his dry lips, he winced. They were swollen. He couldn't believe he'd really kissed Yu the night before.

He would've wallowed in self pity and beat himself up for being so stupid, but the sound of his phone ringing interrupted him. Swallowing the lump in his dry throat, he pressed the talk button.

“Hello?”

“Good morning, beautiful.”

He felt a pang in his chest when he heard his boyfriend's voice on the other end of the line.

“H-Hey. What's up?” he asked, trying to act as calm as possible.

“Just making sure you were alright. You never came back last night.”

“Yeah...um, Yu was really stressed and kind of needed a shoulder and something to calm him down. So I promised him I'd stay over so he could relax a while.”

“You're an angel, you know that?” He could almost see the smile on Strify's lips as he spoke. If only he knew. “Bill?”

“Sorry. I uh, just woke up. I'm still half asleep.”

“I won't keep you then. You probably need to feed the twins and such. Call me when you have some free time?”

“You know I will.”

“Alright. I love you, Billa.”

Bill sniffed quietly, feeling a tear fall down his cheek. “I love you too.” he replied, hearing the tone when Strify hung up a moment later.

He felt like the worst person in the world at that moment. He couldn't even find himself to move from his seat. He just sat there, staring into space with tears in his eyes. He only turned his head when he heard footsteps enter the room.

Yu was standing there in the entryway in a pair of baggy black pants with zippers in every possible spot, no shirt, with his hair still damp from his shower. His lips pressed into a straight line, he looked at Bill with an unidentifiable look.

There was utter silence as they stared at each other. Bill felt his eyes continue to burn from the tears building up in his ducts, making him inhale loudly and look away so he could wipe them away with the back of his hand.

When he looked back, Yu was standing only a couple of feet away.

“You regret it.” he said. It wasn't a question.

Bill didn't have to say anything to reply.

Yu frowned deeply, clutching the belt in his hands. “I just thought...maybe if you remembered- I...I don't know. I'm sorry I pushed you into it, I just- I've just kept hoping that maybe I still had a chance. It was stupid to think so. I can't compete with Strify.” As he said his name, his grip on the belt tightened. “I mean...the twins aren't even his and he was there for you through almost your entire pregnancy. And where was I? Fucking some slut in the janitor's closet. Not once has he let you down. How many times have I done so? Too many to count. Plus, look at him. He has a good future ahead of him. Me? I've got nothing.”

“Yu-”

“I'll help you get the twins ready to go. I...I won't say anything to Strify. We can just forget this ever happened.”

“Maybe you can, but I can't.” Bill replied.

Yu pursed his lips and walked over to Bill, sitting beside the distraught boy on the couch. “I won't ever mention it again. I won't tell anyone or say anything to you about it. I swear. It'll be like it never happened. No one will have to know.”

Bill sniffled, wiping his nose on his sleeve, not caring at how gross it was to him. “But we'll know. I'm going to have live with the guilt. I cheated on Strify and straight up lied to him when he called. I'll never be able to look him in the eyes again. And the worst part is, is that I loved it. Every moment of it. I don't want to forget it because I actually missed it.”

“It could have been a lot worse. We just-”

“Worse?” Bill scoffed through his sniffling. He turned his head to look at Yu, his eyes puffy from crying already. “We had sex, Yu, it doesn't get any worse! I let you...you were inside me. We were moaning each others names with our children in the next room.” Bill's sobbing only intensified as he continued to remember the night of passion he'd shared with his ex. He looked away, staring into space. “I slept with another man and Strify doesn't even have the slightest idea.”

Yu didn't respond this time. He just sat there, staring longingly at Bill. Last night had been one of the few happy times he'd had since he'd lost Bill, and now Bill was completely torn because of it.

All he'd wanted to do was to show Bill that he truly did still love him, but it seemed that everything had backfired. He wasn't sure who'd initiated what the night before, but he knew that he hadn't forced Bill into anything. He'd wanted it just as much as Yu, even though he now regretted it.

“No matter what I do, I always seem to fuck it up.” he stated, biting his tongue.

“It's not like you're dating anyone. You don't have to feel guilty.” Bill replied.

Yu looked at him. “I may not be with anyone, but knowing that last night made you this miserable...how can I not feel like a complete asshole? As much as I loved it, I wish it had never happened.” Yu stood up and opened one of the windows, grabbing a pack of cigarettes off of the table and popping one into his mouth.

“Why?”

It was quiet while Yu lit his cigarette, blowing a lung full of smoke outside. “I have morals, even if I don't listen to them very often. It wasn't right. Both you and Strify have every right to hate me. If you tell him...let him go at me with all he's got. I deserve it.”

Bill swallowed hard, tugging at his collar. “And if I don't tell him?”

Yu shrugged, his shoulder blades lifting under his pale skin. “It's your choice. Do what you want.” he said, sucking in another puff of smoke.

Bill looked down, his hands in his lap, completely displaying his insecurity. “I don't know what I want.” he whispered, biting his lip as more tears threatened to fall.

Yu would've replied, but he honestly had no idea what to say. Luckily, a loud, repetitive knock on the front door interrupted the silence. Yu's brows furrowed. The only person he would ever expect to come over was sitting there on his couch, half naked and crying.

He put out the cigarette on the window seal and headed to the door, opening it to find someone he really didn't want to see.

“Yu, I...can we talk? Please?”

Kiro stood in front of the door, a pleading look on his face.

It took a minute for Yu to reply, as his mind was flooded with many different emotions. “I don't think we have anything to talk about, Kiro.” He said the boy's name a bit louder than needed, hoping Bill would get the message.

Bill's eyes widened when heard that Kiro was at the door. He couldn't know that he'd spent the night with Yu. Who knows who he'd tell. Bill scrambled and quietly dropped to his hands and knees. He ever so discreetly crawled across the apartment and made his way into the master bedroom. He quickly searched through Yu's dresser and grabbed a pair of jeans, slipping them on before running to the mirror and making himself look presentable.

Kiro frowned. “I know I crossed the line. It was a low blow. I wish I could take it back. I swear, it just slipped out. I didn't mean to say that.”

“It just slipped out? Exactly how many other times has it 'slipped out,' and how many other people know!?” Yu hissed, eyes seemingly set to kill.

Kiro knew not to test Yu. Yu wasn't merely angry, he was hurt, and in full honesty, that was far more frightening. “No one, I swear! I would never tell anyone, you know that!”

“I don't know anything about you anymore, Kiro! First you keep all these secrets, then you tell me you're getting rid of my child without so much as asking for my input, and then you put that on the table! The one fucking thing you knew would break me! I thought I could trust you.” Yu replied, tears gathering in his eyes. Whether they were from sadness or anger, he didn't know.

Tears speckled Kiro's cheeks as Yu spoke. “You can!” he cried.

“No...I...I can't.” Yu admitted, more so to himself than to Kiro.

Kiro's tears continued to flood and blur his vision as he stepped forward, reaching out for Yu's hand, which was ripped away the moment their skin made contact. The rejection only made him cry harder. “Please, Yukito...you're my best friend.” he said desperately.

“...was. I was your best friend. I don't think I can be, anymore.”

Kiro let out a pained sob. “No. No, you can't do that! We've been friends for so long! We were always there for each other! Always!”

Yu only stared at Kiro for a solid few seconds. It's not like he enjoyed it. Kiro had been his best friend for years. He honestly couldn't imagine life without him, but that didn't exclude the fact that his so called 'best friend' had betrayed him. “A real friend would trust me to raise our daughter. And if you were really my best friend...you would have never brought that up.” he stated.

Kiro shook his head as his face burned from all his tears. “Yu-”

“Don't. Please...just don't.”

Kiro's chest rose and fell unevenly as his heart absorbed all of Yu's words. He'd never felt so much pain. He felt like he couldn't move.

“I have things I need to do. Bill and the twins are here, so I'm going to go and take care of my family.”

Kiro felt like his feet were nailed to the floor.

Yu sighed, and said the final three words that finally broke his former best friend. “Go home, Kiro.” he said, and with that, backed up and closed the door.

~

Kiro stared at the door that had just been shut. The door that hid the life he wanted. The door that had officially shut him out of Yu's life.

He felt somewhat numb, yet his body felt like it was on fire. His heart...it would take a microscope to put all of the pieces back together, and that was only if they were found. He did eventually turn around, his legs on auto pilot as he walked away from Yu's apartment. He had no idea what to do. So he did what Yu had told him to. He went home.

~