Status: Updating slowly, please bare with me.
Drifting
Who would bear to feel sorry for me;
“Please, please, please tell me that you did not leave the other box of merch in Nevada.” Carson begged Dylan. He stared back, a guilty look crossing his face. “Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, FUCK! This cannot be happening.” She ran a hand through her hair.
“I thought that I had everything! I double checked, I swear!” Dylan moaned.
Carson swiftly kicked the tire of the van, leaving a scuff mark on her green flats. “Do you know what? I’m gonna call the venue and see if it’s still there. Just go and set up what we have?” Dylan nodded solemnly and skulked back inside the venue. “I cannot believe that this is happening…” Carson muttered searching through her contacts for the last venue’s number.
The rest of the band watched her pace back and forth. “She is so pissed right now,” Stephen shook his head.
“Yeah she is. If she can’t get the merch back Dylan is going to be in the dog house for the rest of tour.” Josh said watching as Carson angrily jumped up and down.
“I don’t see why you can’t ship it to us! I will pay! I will give you address!” She shouted into her phone. “NO I DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO YOUR BOSS. I WANT OUR MERCH.”
Both Josh and Stephen’s eyebrows flew up and Josh rubbed the back of his neck.
This was not going well. It was a simple thing. She asked nicely at first. The guy was a dick. Seriously, this was the last thing that she needed. “Okay you know what, I’m sorry for yelling, it’s just that you are being the least helpful that you could possibly be right now. All I want is to get back the merch for the band I work for. Without that we’ll lose money on this tour.” Kids in line were starting to look at her strangely as she hopped around like a 6-year-old. After a few more minutes of persuasion, the man finally gave in. “Thank you for understanding. I’ll send you a check as soon as we get the box. Thank you again.”
“Well that was quite a show to watch,” Josh waltzed up to her.
“Fuckin’ hell,” she sighed. “Thank you for keeping your pants on today, Jobe. That’s the last thing that I would need today.”
“You know you enjoy the view.” He winked and she glared. “I’m sorry. But hey, we’re getting the merch back right? That’s a cause to celebrate! Come on, this venue has a bar.”
Carson looked up at him, “That wouldn’t be very professional.”
Josh smirked and his blue eyes sparkled with mischief, “Well it’s a good thing that I’m not professional then, isn’t it?” She just shook her head as Josh put his tattooed arm around her thin, stressed shoulders. “Tomorrow is an off day; we’ll go do something fun.” He kissed the top of her head as they started walking into the venue.
Sometimes Carson wondered if Josh had a crush on her. And sometimes she wondered if she had a crush on him. But he was a serial flirt and she needed someone stable that didn’t go on late night binges mid-week. Someone who truly got her and was calm and sweet and quirky.
3 weeks later Jess sat and watched as her best friend applied red lipstick to her perfect pout. “You really need to teach me how to do all of that.”
“Do all of what?” Carson laughed, as she capped the lipstick and dropped it back inside her make-up bag.
“The lipstick and the ‘guys respect me and listen to me and I still manage to look cute and quirky and girlie and non-slutty’ thing.”
“Oh thaattttt thing,” she nodded and placed her fedora on her head, checking that her dark wavy hair fell exactly right. “We’re different Jess. I would never want for you to be exactly like me. Think of how sad the boys would be if they lost their Jeff.” Jess sighed and flopped back onto Carson’s bed. “But…! If you want to we could go shopping downtown today.”
Jess perked up, tucking her black hair behind her ears. “Uh, fuck yeah I want to do that. We can go and eat at The Bakery too right?” Carson laughed and nodded her head. “Okay, I’m gonna go shower and change. Leave in an hour?”
“Kay sounds good. I’m gonna clean up a bit.” Carson brushed off the dust that had collected on top of the stack of her favorite books that sat on her nightstand.
It had been a long 2 months since Carson had left and her relief to be back in her home was beyond delighted. She was safe here. Something about knowing every inch of a space was calming.
The thing about Carson was that something had slipped inside her. She used to be happy and bubbly and full of life, and that’s not to say that she still didn’t have her moments when the fog of depression lifted, but mostly it was her putting on a face. It’s easier to say “I’m fine thanks” and smile instead of saying “no I’m not happy. I’m fucked up.” But only at first. After time passes all those “I’m fine. How are you?’s” weigh you down. Everything was starting to pull her down.
“Half of my closet is from this place. It’s amazing and I would move in here if I could,” Carson said as she opened the door to her favorite vintage store.
“Dear God, the wall of shoes. THE WALL OF SHOES!” Jess exclaimed as she drifted toward it as if she was in a dream. “It’s so beautiful.”
An hour, 6 pairs of shoes, 3 dresses, 5 tops, 2 cardigans, a clutch, 2 skirts, and $137.29 later Carson plopped down on an overstuffed pink couch waiting for Jess to come out of the dressing room. “Jess! I’m hungry! Hurry up!”
“I found the cutest dress ever and you know I don’t wear dresses, so I thought that you should try it on…” Jess poked her head around the curtain.
“Oh no, I am shopped out.”
“Please!? It’s so cute and you would look amazing in it. Please? For me?” Her bottom lip stuck and Carson sighed pulling herself off the couch and over to Jess.
“Fine. But I’m not buying it.”
When Carson emerged from the dressing room Jess had begun a conversation with a very blonde and eclectic looking woman. Her eyes bulged and she said, “You are so buying that.”
“Oh honey, you are a dream in that dress!” The blonde woman said. “If I had legs like yours... I think that you might be the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.”
Carson immediately blushed, “Thank you…”
“All you need is a hot date now.” Jess said holding on a little tighter to her pile of clothes as they began to slip from her arms.
“HA! Cause that will happen…” Carson rolled her eyes.
“Sweetheart I know of about 10 guys off the top of my head who would chop their left arm off to go on a date with you.” This woman was so nice and sweet and calming and gentle that Carson couldn’t help but smile at her.
“I’m Carson,” she stuck her hand out and Kirsten (as she introduced herself) shook it warmly.
The boys were all in the living room waiting for the girls when they returned home later that night. “We have been worried sick! Do you have any idea what time it is girls?” Josh asked, raising his eyebrows.
Carson checked her phone and cheekily replied that it was only 11:37 and that they had been having fun that you very much so he could kindly fuck off and that she was going to be. With that she turned on her heel and took her bags to her room with thoughts of what she would wear the next day when she met Kirsten for breakfast.
"Now and then it is good to pause our pursuit of happiness and just be happy." - Guillaume Apollinaire
“I thought that I had everything! I double checked, I swear!” Dylan moaned.
Carson swiftly kicked the tire of the van, leaving a scuff mark on her green flats. “Do you know what? I’m gonna call the venue and see if it’s still there. Just go and set up what we have?” Dylan nodded solemnly and skulked back inside the venue. “I cannot believe that this is happening…” Carson muttered searching through her contacts for the last venue’s number.
The rest of the band watched her pace back and forth. “She is so pissed right now,” Stephen shook his head.
“Yeah she is. If she can’t get the merch back Dylan is going to be in the dog house for the rest of tour.” Josh said watching as Carson angrily jumped up and down.
“I don’t see why you can’t ship it to us! I will pay! I will give you address!” She shouted into her phone. “NO I DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO YOUR BOSS. I WANT OUR MERCH.”
Both Josh and Stephen’s eyebrows flew up and Josh rubbed the back of his neck.
This was not going well. It was a simple thing. She asked nicely at first. The guy was a dick. Seriously, this was the last thing that she needed. “Okay you know what, I’m sorry for yelling, it’s just that you are being the least helpful that you could possibly be right now. All I want is to get back the merch for the band I work for. Without that we’ll lose money on this tour.” Kids in line were starting to look at her strangely as she hopped around like a 6-year-old. After a few more minutes of persuasion, the man finally gave in. “Thank you for understanding. I’ll send you a check as soon as we get the box. Thank you again.”
“Well that was quite a show to watch,” Josh waltzed up to her.
“Fuckin’ hell,” she sighed. “Thank you for keeping your pants on today, Jobe. That’s the last thing that I would need today.”
“You know you enjoy the view.” He winked and she glared. “I’m sorry. But hey, we’re getting the merch back right? That’s a cause to celebrate! Come on, this venue has a bar.”
Carson looked up at him, “That wouldn’t be very professional.”
Josh smirked and his blue eyes sparkled with mischief, “Well it’s a good thing that I’m not professional then, isn’t it?” She just shook her head as Josh put his tattooed arm around her thin, stressed shoulders. “Tomorrow is an off day; we’ll go do something fun.” He kissed the top of her head as they started walking into the venue.
Sometimes Carson wondered if Josh had a crush on her. And sometimes she wondered if she had a crush on him. But he was a serial flirt and she needed someone stable that didn’t go on late night binges mid-week. Someone who truly got her and was calm and sweet and quirky.
3 weeks later Jess sat and watched as her best friend applied red lipstick to her perfect pout. “You really need to teach me how to do all of that.”
“Do all of what?” Carson laughed, as she capped the lipstick and dropped it back inside her make-up bag.
“The lipstick and the ‘guys respect me and listen to me and I still manage to look cute and quirky and girlie and non-slutty’ thing.”
“Oh thaattttt thing,” she nodded and placed her fedora on her head, checking that her dark wavy hair fell exactly right. “We’re different Jess. I would never want for you to be exactly like me. Think of how sad the boys would be if they lost their Jeff.” Jess sighed and flopped back onto Carson’s bed. “But…! If you want to we could go shopping downtown today.”
Jess perked up, tucking her black hair behind her ears. “Uh, fuck yeah I want to do that. We can go and eat at The Bakery too right?” Carson laughed and nodded her head. “Okay, I’m gonna go shower and change. Leave in an hour?”
“Kay sounds good. I’m gonna clean up a bit.” Carson brushed off the dust that had collected on top of the stack of her favorite books that sat on her nightstand.
It had been a long 2 months since Carson had left and her relief to be back in her home was beyond delighted. She was safe here. Something about knowing every inch of a space was calming.
The thing about Carson was that something had slipped inside her. She used to be happy and bubbly and full of life, and that’s not to say that she still didn’t have her moments when the fog of depression lifted, but mostly it was her putting on a face. It’s easier to say “I’m fine thanks” and smile instead of saying “no I’m not happy. I’m fucked up.” But only at first. After time passes all those “I’m fine. How are you?’s” weigh you down. Everything was starting to pull her down.
“Half of my closet is from this place. It’s amazing and I would move in here if I could,” Carson said as she opened the door to her favorite vintage store.
“Dear God, the wall of shoes. THE WALL OF SHOES!” Jess exclaimed as she drifted toward it as if she was in a dream. “It’s so beautiful.”
An hour, 6 pairs of shoes, 3 dresses, 5 tops, 2 cardigans, a clutch, 2 skirts, and $137.29 later Carson plopped down on an overstuffed pink couch waiting for Jess to come out of the dressing room. “Jess! I’m hungry! Hurry up!”
“I found the cutest dress ever and you know I don’t wear dresses, so I thought that you should try it on…” Jess poked her head around the curtain.
“Oh no, I am shopped out.”
“Please!? It’s so cute and you would look amazing in it. Please? For me?” Her bottom lip stuck and Carson sighed pulling herself off the couch and over to Jess.
“Fine. But I’m not buying it.”
When Carson emerged from the dressing room Jess had begun a conversation with a very blonde and eclectic looking woman. Her eyes bulged and she said, “You are so buying that.”
“Oh honey, you are a dream in that dress!” The blonde woman said. “If I had legs like yours... I think that you might be the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.”
Carson immediately blushed, “Thank you…”
“All you need is a hot date now.” Jess said holding on a little tighter to her pile of clothes as they began to slip from her arms.
“HA! Cause that will happen…” Carson rolled her eyes.
“Sweetheart I know of about 10 guys off the top of my head who would chop their left arm off to go on a date with you.” This woman was so nice and sweet and calming and gentle that Carson couldn’t help but smile at her.
“I’m Carson,” she stuck her hand out and Kirsten (as she introduced herself) shook it warmly.
The boys were all in the living room waiting for the girls when they returned home later that night. “We have been worried sick! Do you have any idea what time it is girls?” Josh asked, raising his eyebrows.
Carson checked her phone and cheekily replied that it was only 11:37 and that they had been having fun that you very much so he could kindly fuck off and that she was going to be. With that she turned on her heel and took her bags to her room with thoughts of what she would wear the next day when she met Kirsten for breakfast.
"Now and then it is good to pause our pursuit of happiness and just be happy." - Guillaume Apollinaire
♠ ♠ ♠
Thanks to BabyFreak for commenting after reading! It means a lot!I'm sorry it's taking me so long to get chapters out I've been really busying with my senior year and working on college stuff for the fall.
I promise that Matt will be in the next one! But yay for Kirsten!
xx