Status: Active(:
These Things I'll Never Say
Day Fifteen; I miss you
Dear Zachy,
I wish you could see this letter, actually, I wish I didn't even have to write this letter. I wish you were still here, still a large part of my life, and still my best guy friend in the world. I wish that I'd never lost you, and that I didn't have to miss you, ever. I still think back, and I kinda blame myself for everything that happened. Maybe Adam wouldn't have killed himself. Maybe Andre wouldn't have gone crazy. Maybe you wouldn't have lost Christian. Maybe you wouldn't have gone to see Will, and maybe you'd still be alive. But, then again, if that had happened... I wouldn't have even known you to know. I wouldn't have even known you existed to write this letter and I wouldn't have had you around to brighten my world as much as you did.
I miss the long talks we used to have and how much we cared about each other. I miss the way that you always knew how to make me smile, and I could almost always make you get into a better mood; or at least I thought I could. I never thought I would be without you, ever. I thought I could never even live without you but I guess that I was wrong. I mean, obviously I'm getting along alright without you, but I miss you so much. I have so many of your pictures all over my room still, and so many of the things you sent me sitting in my jewelery box. I really wish that you'd have been here. I wish you were still here. I wish I still had you to talk to all the time, and I really wish you were still here. The group we used to have was getting smaller and smaller, and then it got down to just me and you... Now it's only me, no longer a group but a single person with nothing but the memory of we all used to have.
I never even got to meet any of you. Sometimes, when I'm not looking at the physical evidence that you guys existed, I sometimes wonder if it was no more than a dream, or a fantasy that I made up in my head. You guys all seemed too perfect to exist in real life, maybe that's why God took you all away from me. Do I not deserve that perfection? I suppose not.
I remember
I wish you could see this letter, actually, I wish I didn't even have to write this letter. I wish you were still here, still a large part of my life, and still my best guy friend in the world. I wish that I'd never lost you, and that I didn't have to miss you, ever. I still think back, and I kinda blame myself for everything that happened. Maybe Adam wouldn't have killed himself. Maybe Andre wouldn't have gone crazy. Maybe you wouldn't have lost Christian. Maybe you wouldn't have gone to see Will, and maybe you'd still be alive. But, then again, if that had happened... I wouldn't have even known you to know. I wouldn't have even known you existed to write this letter and I wouldn't have had you around to brighten my world as much as you did.
I miss the long talks we used to have and how much we cared about each other. I miss the way that you always knew how to make me smile, and I could almost always make you get into a better mood; or at least I thought I could. I never thought I would be without you, ever. I thought I could never even live without you but I guess that I was wrong. I mean, obviously I'm getting along alright without you, but I miss you so much. I have so many of your pictures all over my room still, and so many of the things you sent me sitting in my jewelery box. I really wish that you'd have been here. I wish you were still here. I wish I still had you to talk to all the time, and I really wish you were still here. The group we used to have was getting smaller and smaller, and then it got down to just me and you... Now it's only me, no longer a group but a single person with nothing but the memory of we all used to have.
I never even got to meet any of you. Sometimes, when I'm not looking at the physical evidence that you guys existed, I sometimes wonder if it was no more than a dream, or a fantasy that I made up in my head. You guys all seemed too perfect to exist in real life, maybe that's why God took you all away from me. Do I not deserve that perfection? I suppose not.
I remember
♠ ♠ ♠
Another wuhrk in progress >_<!!