The Somewhat Mad Life Of Kelly McKena

Kellayy. K to the E to the L to the...bollocks, I couldn't be bothered doing all this. Kelly Mckenna, 14 years young, aim in life: to survive. No I'm not in a jungle with horny panthers chasing me up trees, no way hooozay. I'm just in Doopings, the small town that is best kept secret. For, like, ever. Not even Jesus should be allowed witness this place. So here's my survival guide to my life, maybe it will become handy to you, but I truly think my life could be a tad bit more bonkers then yours. In fact, you're better off being chased by those lovable horny panthers. Sacre Bleú. I have once again burnt my microwave popcorn.

DO I DO ANYTHING RIGHT?!