Beautiful Girl

So much sadness. But I must be the saddest girl out of all those crying people. I've never seen an adult cry before, but now I see hundreds. I cannot open my eyes to face the twisted debris scattered all over where my dad used to work. Traces of faint smoke are still curling into the block-blue September sky. It has been two days since daddy died. I remember daddy never coming home. i had asked why, and mum just held a palm to my face, her worried voice whispering into the phone. I remember seeing my mum roaring with agony.

"What? What happened? Did you hurt yourself?" I scanned her body for blood.

She continued screaming. I began to get very frightened. The Tv was loud so I turned it off to talk to her.

"NO!" she yelped, whacking my hand away and tuning the station in again. I heard words from the news, which I usually found boring, but something must be happening if mummy is so desperate to watch it.

"World Trade Center... Devastated...Terrorists... Planes..."

I recognized 3 words, World Trade Center. That was where Daddy worked.

"You'd love it, Bethany! The world trade center consists of the best skyscrapers in the big apple! I'll bring you there someday." he had said enthusiastically, me bouncing on his knee.

Back to that day when mummy was crying was a frenzied blur. Relatives, crying, hugs, kisses. Then, when mummy was out that night, granny came into my room.

"Bethany," her eyes were so sad, "Come here,"

She gave me a squeezy hug.

"I'm afraid there's some bad news. Daddy has gone to heaven."

*

Now, at the memorial, two days later, that stabbing pain is still there. Daddy would never see my wedding, my babies, my first house, my art projects. He would never help me fix the tv again. My eyes stayed shut. I hated the stupid world trade center for taking daddy away from me. I could not face that disgusting, black metal. Granny came over, I could hear her voice.

"Open your eyes,"

They flickered open.

"See all these people?" she motioned her hand towards the crying adults, "they lost their daddys, their mothers, their brothers, their sisters, their children. They'se goin' through the same thing as you,"

I blinked.

"But he's never coming back," I choked.

"Darlin', think of it this way. Right now, all the living people in this world, me and you, are in the kitchen. Daddy's gone into the sitting room, cause' god called him for something, and it was his turn to go in. We'se all gotta wait a little longer before god's gonna call us into the sitting room too. Daddy's just gone in sooner then us, that's all. We'se gonna be in the sitting room someday too,"

The tears kept coming.

"Those people have their eyes open to look at all the lovely ornaments in the kitchen, while they still can. You could be called into the sitting room anytime, so you gotta make the most of the kitchen. It's called heaven and earth, darlin'"

I stared into the block-blue sky, the door to the sitting room. Mummy's hand was firm over mine. The metal was as ugly as ever. The air still smelt like a fireplace. But I was alive.

And it was only a matter of time before God could call me into the sitting room.