I Remember The Day She Told Me It's Over

"Okay," Becca started placing things on the counter by the sink. "I grabbed the hot dogs and the hamburgers, the maccaroni and cheese, some stuff for a salad and some fruit and veggies and stuff for us - " she trailed off as she continued to unpack the go green grocery bags.

I'd asked her, not only a huge favor in coming to hang out with me and the kids, but I'd aslo sent her on quite the shopping spree.

"Did you have a hard time finding the life jackets?" I asked as I filled a pot with water for the maccaroni.

"Ugh, yeah, good thing you weighed all the kids," she laughed as she placed a pack of juice boxes in the fridge. "But it was even more hard to find your house. Thank god for GPS."

"Is it ready yet?" Xander asked and I shook my head.

"No, but it would go faster if you and Gianna wanna help Becca get started?"

Xander nodded and he climbed up onto the stool beside Becca. Gianna joined them a moment later and I took Ava and Gavin outside to the pool.

"Do we get to go swimming?" Gavin beamed as he neared the edge of the pool.

"Yes, but if you're going to go in, you have to wear one of these," I took the life jackets out of the bags and both the youngest of the four kids frowned.

"I tan swim," Ava stated matter of factly. "Mom let's me swim in the tub."

"This is a little deeper than the tub, sweet pea," I unhooked all the life jackets from their hangers then dug into the last bag for the swim shorts and bathing suits Becca had purchased. I was hoping that they would all fit.

"Becca said I could set the table," Gianna stepped outside through the sliding glass doors carrying paper plates and plastic cutlery. Becca was a genious, I never even thought about that.

"Thanks, sweetie," I smiled at her and couldn't help but notice the Baker resemblance. She worked quietly as I helped Ava into her bathing suit. Gavin put his shorts on behind the dressing wall near the far end of the pool and then returned to me to help put on his life jacket.

"Want me to start the barbecue?" Becca asked as she stepped out into the California sunshine with a plate of hamburgers and hot dogs. Xander wasn't far behind her with a bowl of mixed lettuce salad.

"Sure," I smiled up at them and did up the buckle to Ava's life jacket. "Alright you two, now you can get in."

Gavin took off running and jumped into the pool with a big splash. Ava on the other hand, needed to be lowered into the pool.

Xander set the bowl of salad in the middle of the patio table then turned to me with questioning eyes. "Do we get to go in now?"

"Sure, swimsuits, and life jackets, both of you." Like their younger counterparts they too frowned, but obliged.

"Becca, I'm gonna go throw the maccaroni in the water then throw on my bathing suit if you wanna watch them. Then we'll switch places?"

She nodded and I headed into the house. The water was already boiling so I dumped the maccaroni in, gave it a quick stir then headed off to my bedroom. I picked a simple black bikini then threw a dark grey strapless sundress on over top. I tied my hair up into a loose bun then made my way to the laundry closet by the main bathroom and grabbed a bunch of towels. I stirred the maccaroni once more on the way back outside then switched Becca spots. She took over the maccaroni and changed into her own bathing suit while I finished up with the hot dogs and hamburgers.

"Time to eat," Becca announced cheerfully as she emerged from the house with the maccaroni and cheese and the juice boxes.

"Sweet," Xander swam to the edge of the pool before he and Gianna helped Gavin and Ava out of the pool as well.

"Are you guys done swimming, or do you wanna get in the hot tub after?" I asked them over my shoulder as I loaded up the hot dogs onto one half of the plate and the hamburgers on the other.

"Definitely the hot tub," Giannna smiled before helping the others out of their life jackets.

"Then we won't change yet." I smiled at them and carried the plate to the table. Becca helped them all get seated and I headed into the house for the last of the condiments. I grabbed my cell phone and smiled when I saw a missed call from Zack.

I carried the condiments outside for the kids to get started and phoned him back.

"Hey," I smiled when he answered. "You phoned?"

"Yeah, just thought I'd make sure you were still alive." he laughed. "How's it goin?"

"Great, thanks to some help from Becca," I smiled at the group seated around the patio table, laughing and filling up their plates.

"Yeah? Becca came to help out did she?"

"Mm-hhmm." I nodded even though he couldn't see. "We just barbecued and now we're gonna eat then I think we're gonna chill in the hot tub."

"Damn. I'd love to see you two cooking in bikinis then chilling in the hot tub."

I simply rolled my eyes. "How's it going in the studio?"

"Good," he changed subjects easily. "The Berry's just showed up, we're gonna give them a demo here soon, see what they think." He paused for a moment then spoke again. "But if everything's going well I should get back to work. Tell everyone I said hi, and I'll see you guys later tonight."

"Sure, talk to you later." I hung up the phone and made way back to the table. "That, was Uncle Zacky, and he says he's jealous of every one of you little munchkins."

"Is he coming back to visit?" Gavin asked between bites of his hamburger.

"Yeah, he'll be back tonight."

***

Brian sat across from me, in the studio in a swivel chair with his signature black and sliver striped guitar on his lap. He was working out a new solo, and we were both working out my parts. While Brian did alot of the actual writing, I was glad that he never held back when it came to my parts. He knew I could play them and I was constantly getting better at my guitar playing. And I loved the challenge.

"Okay," he stopped suddenly and looked up at me. I replaced my own guitar on my lap. "Let's try this again."

"Hey, before you guys get too into it, you want anything to eat?" Matt asked as he stepped into the lounge part of the studio. He'd just finished some vocals and was done for the night. His voice had been bothering him again and we were all hoping that he wasn't getting sick, so we weren't going to push it. "Emily's here, were gonna go grab some food. Any preferance?"

"Umm, anything half assed healthy." Brian replied. "And we're outta water in the fridge so you guys should grab another case."

Matt nodded and looked at me. "Same," I muttered. I wasn't overly hungry to begin with, but I knew I would be later.

"Okay, we'll be back in a few," Matt disappeared down the hallway he'd appeared from and Brian turned his attention back to me. "Alright, let's try this to the click."

We must've played for literally a couple hours. My fingers were beginning to hurt but we'd hammered out the guitar parts for the song perfectly.

"Okay," our producer turned to us on his own swivel chair. "That was pretty much perfect. But do you think you've got one more time in ya?"

Brian and I both nodded and slipped our headphones back on. We nailed it again and I was glad because my stomach was beginning to growl at me. Everyone else had ate their dinner and were sitting motionless and eerily quiet behind us on the couches.

"Your sandwiches and drinks are in the fridge," Ashleigh stated from her perch at the end of the couch near Meg and Emily.

"Thanks," we both chorused.

Brian replaced his guitar in the rack and stood up to stretch, I did the same, putting my guitar away and then following him into the entrance area where Johnny and Cristina were sitting at the very small table.

"Sounded good." Johnny smiled up at us.

"I think it'll be fuckin' awesome when it's all layered together," Brian swung the fridge door open and grabbed the two sandwiches off the shelf and passed them to me before grabbing two bottles of beer and closing the door. I passed him a sandwhich, he passed me a beer and we both leaned against the counter to eat.

"Do you guys wanna sit down?" Cristina asked.

I shook my head. "No, we've been sitting for hours."

"So any plans for tonight?" Johnny asked without lifting his eyes from his phone.

"We should do something." Brian bit into his sandwhich and let Johnny and his girlfriend throw ideas out there. I didn't listen to carefully, I wasn't going out anywhere tonight even if I'd wanted to. I felt bad enough for leaving Bailey with all four kids for the day.

Johnny piped up suddenly, still looking at his phone. "Tal says he's going out with Benji and wants to know if we all want to meet up?"

Brian nodded and downed the neck of his beer. "We should meet up with them." He turned to me and asked, "are you gonna come out too?"

I shook my head. "I can't dude, I promised Zina I'd keep the kids till tomorrow, and I've already left them with Bailey all day."

"Can't she watch them for a few more hours?" Cristina asked.

They clearly still weren't giving in where Bailey was concerned, and it was beginning to really piss me off. "I imagine she could. But it's not really fair to her, since she has her own sister's kids with her as well. Not to mention Zina didn't ask me to find her a babysitter, she asked me to watch them. And if we're going out as a group, I'd actually like Bailey to come with me. Contrary to popular belief I don't actually enjoy being the ninth member of our paired off group." I picked up my beer and sandwich and headed deeper into the studio, back to where Matt, Jimmy, Meg, Ashleigh and Emily were sitting.

I shared the plans to go out for the evening and they all seemed excited, except for Meg. "Well I wished you could come out with us, Zacky. But I'm glad you and Bailey are actually getting to spend some time together."

I was growing so confused with my own friends. The one who really hated my girlfriend, was slowly warming up to her, and supporting me, and the one who seemed to be kind of indifferent towards the whole situation was acting like Bailey had a ball and chain around my ankle. I definitely needed to stop reading so deeply into things before I started to go crazy.

***

At midnight I glanced at the kids sprawled out on the couch and love seats in the living room. My first thought, other than the fact that I'd actually survived the day with them, was that there was no way Zack and I would ever have four kids.

Lights flashed across the wall and I stepped back into the kitchen to look out the window and see Zack pull up to the gate. I buzzed him in then unlocked the door before heading down the hallway to the spare bedroom. It was huge, bigger than my own room, but didn't feature the private bathroom or walk in closet. So I'd chosen to fill up the sprawling space with two queen sized beds. A wide screen TV mounted on the wall opposite the beds. A rug, some plants, and three matching dressers pressed together lining the wall beneath the TV.

I heard the front door as I pulled back the blankets on each of the beds and places a few of the extra pillows onto the floor before returning to the main area of the house. Zack was setting his things on the bar counter and he turned to me with a tired smile.

"Hey"

"Hi," I replied softly and moved towards the TV to shut if off.

"They fall asleep easy for you?" he asked as he padded in sock feet across the cement floor towards the kids.

"It took a couple movies, but that's easy enough." I admitted as I carefully removed the blankets from their small bodies. "I have the spare bedroom ready for them."

"Okay, I'll help you move them." Zack picked up his nephew with ease and carried him down the hallway towards the bedroom. I did the same, picking up the smallest of the girls first and following Zack down the hallway.

In a few minutes we had them all into the beds and I shut the lights off and pulled the door closed, but not quite hard enough to latch, as Zack headed back towards the kitchen. When I joined him again he was seated on one of the bar stools scrolling through his blackberry.
I reached up and ran my fingers through my hair as I opened up the cupboard to the left of the sink and grabbed a tall glass. "How'd it go in the studio today?" I moved to the fridge and pulled the door open, grabbing a beer for him and the water pitcher for me before nudging it closed and setting them down on the counter.

"It went well. I love watching Jimmy work, the man truly is a genious. But we cut the night alot shorter than I expected. But that's okay I figured I'd come hang with you and the kids."

I passed him the beer and he placed the lid beneath his tshirt before twisting it open. "Thanks," he brought the bottle to his lips and took and downed the neck.

I filled my own glass with water and took a sip as I watched him carefully. He looked worn out and genuinely down and out. He didn't even have to tell me what happened, the perplexed look on his face told me that he was desperately torn.

"Hey, Zack," I broached the subject softly as I leaned against the counter across from him. "while I love that you're wanting to spend time with me, you should have went out with them."

He never responded right away but brought the beer bottle back to his lips for a sip. "I left you with the kids all day, that wasn't fair."

"Hey," I reached across the counter and grasped one of his hands in my own and he locked eyes with me. "I have that shoot all day tomorrow, but I'm free the next. What if we get everyone together here for a barbecue?"

He looked at me with hope, but doubt soon filled his eyes. "I'd love that, but right now, I just don't know if that would ever happen."

I squeezed his hand reassuringly before pulling away and standing up straight, wrapping my hand around my glass and lightly tapping my nails against it. "Well what if you five went out and did something and I invited all the girls here?"

He tugged at the corner of the label on his beer bottle absentmindedly before finally looking up at me again. "Are you going to be crushed if none of them show up?"

I sighed heavily and said desperately, "Zack, I have to try something. And I guess if they don't show up at least I tried and then at least you have a chance to be with your best friends for a night out. Inject a little bit of normal back into your life."

For a moment I was sure he was going to argue, but he finally nodded and a pang of guilt hit me alot harder than I ever imagined.

Was I already the crazy girl keeping him from doing what he wanted?