Status: Slow Active

I Remember The Day She Told Me It's Over

A Page In Time

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I should have warned Zack that Brody was coming to pick up my niece and nephew, but dammit, I was still upset. He'd put our relationship on egg shells and I was supposed to tip toe around them. And I was not off to a good start.

Thanx for the warning.

The only text I'd received from him all day, and it wasn't for a lack of trying.

The next thing I knew, Trish was phoning. She and Craig had landed safely at LAX and they wanted to know where to pick up the kids. I told her I'd get Brody to drop them off. She then procedeed to ask how everything had went today. I wanted like hell to tell her about everything but I couldn't. I was unfairly blaming her for my new relationship problems and I would tell her about everything at a later, calmer date. Right now I just wanted to make it through this photoshoot without murdering Terra.

"You really should phone him again," Becca was to my right as she leaned closer towards the mirror to inspect her eye make-up, before rubbing her lips together, evenly spreading her light pink lip gloss over her lips. "You know deep down he'll appreciate your trying."

I wanted desperately to be able to agree with her, but I also knew Zack, and if he wasn't answering me at all by now, he truly wanted to be left the hell alone.

Maybe it was time for another tactic.

I'd let him be pissed at me for however long he needed but that didn't mean everyone else was off limits. Perhaps now was the perfect time to set a girl's night at my place in motion.

I picked up my phone to text the Rev. He was Meg's only weakness and if he could convince her to give me a chance, I knew the other girls would take the chance as well.

"Hey, Becca, what are you up to tonight?" I never looked up at her as I turned my cell onto it's side and typed quickly with my thumbs, but I could see her out of my peripheral vision.

"Nothing?" she turned away from the large mirrors in front of us to turn around and face me, leaning against the make-up counter. "What are you schemeing?"

"Dinner," I sent my message and smiled up at her as I tipped my phone back upright before dialing Brody's number and bringing my phone to my ear. I watched a case full of guitars roll by towards the set and I knew I was running out of my precious few minutes of personal time.

"Hey."

"Hey," I replied when Brody answered. "Listen I only have a minute or two right now, but I was wondering if Avril would be interested in a girls night at my house?"

"I can ask her."

"That would be awesome, I have to finalize some stuff, but I'll text you the details later and you can let me know what's up?"

I could mentally see him nodding his head. "Sounds good. Talk to ya later."

"Bye." I hung up my phone and tossed it in my purse before locking eyes with Becca who still remained in front of me, her black bikini leaving little to the imagination, and her long blond hair now in loose bouncy curls, the corner of her mouth tugged up into a smirk.

"Avril Lavigne too huh?"

I nodded, "and a bunch of others, but I'm not gonna get the chance to phone and invite them until we're done all this."

"Black bikini's on set!"

"Or maybe I will," I glanced down at my red bikini then looked back at Becca. "That's you," I grinned, knowing I'd now have a few more minutes to myself.

Becca tugged on her bikini bottoms and adjusted her bikini top one more time. "Time for me to go molest some sexy guitars," she laughed before walking in her unnaturally high heels towards the set. As she walked away I grabbed for my purse and dug for my phone again.

"Look at us, we're even gonna be in the same set of pictures," Terra stepped up beside me, leaning into the mirror a bit and puckering her lips before rubbing her lips together, spreading her lip gloss as she stared at both of our reflections in the mirror. I continued to watch her as she pushed her boobs together before standing up straight and turning sideways, admiring herself in the red bikini they'd chosen for her. "Bout' time we started talking civily anyway." She turned her back to the mirror and stared at me, awaiting my catty response.

I sighed and dropped my phone back into my purse. I could forget calling anyone now. "I really don't have anything to talk about with you anymore."

"Please," she scoffed, "I know you, and according to your logic, Zack's really the only one who fucked up. I am single after all. And he wasn't really, all he had to do was say no."

"You're not single either, Terra, what about Jamie?"

She rolled her eyes, "I was never in love with Jamie. He out lived his purpose when he started fucking his neighbor. We broke up a while ago."

"So your retaliation was to go fuck my guy?"

"Jesus, Bailey, I'm sorry alright." She held up her right hand, "And I'll never do anything of the sort again. To anyone."

I took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. This whole situation was ridiculous and being pissed at her was so much more work than it was worth. "That was a pretty lame appology. But at least I'm getting one."

She actually smiled that time. "Yeah, cause you know damn well you're the only one I'd ever appologize too."

I bit my lower lip and glanced around her, catching glimpses of light bulbs flashing from behind long curtains, before looking at her again. I knew that her saying she was sorry put a huge dent in her pride, and that in itself made me feel a bit better.

"Bailey, oil."

I stood up and walked over to one of the assistants. Another approached me with a pair of black strappy heels that would tie half way up my calves. I stepped into them and let her tie them up while I spread my arms out wide and allowed the other the rub a lightly scented coconut oil over my exposed skin which, with the right amount, would make tattoos pop and skin look really soft in the photos.

"You really like him though, don't you?" Terra was now standing in front of me, waiting for her own turn.

I looked directly at her. Her eyes were so empty, and I knew that deep down she was incredibly lonely. For as long as I'd known her, she had never been able to keep a boyfriend and not because she didn't try. Because she did, but they always cheated on her, or just up and left her, or kicked her out. I couldn't count the number of times I'd had to go to the apartment of the guy she was living with to help pack up her stuff and move her out. It was one terrible relationship after another and I knew that it'd given her a very warped perception on how a real relationship should function.

"I do." I admitted freely, a wave of guilt hitting me then, making feel worse about the way I'd handled the niece and nephew situation. "I always have."

"I wish I was like you, Bailey. I have no excuse for what I did, other than wanting to feel a small piece of what you feel every day. But you didn't see the way he looked at me when he first woke up that morning. I could see how much he hated himself for betraying you, we both handled the situation wrong, but it hurt him alot."

The assistants continued to listen to our conversation quietly and I kind of wished that we were alone, but quite honestly I'd take this conversation any way that I could get it. "You need to start thinking with your head first, Terra. You jump in, ready to roll, and leave nothing else to offer. How is anyone supposed to get to know you, the inside you, when they get what they want the first night. It requires absolutely no emotional commitment on their part. And then you wonder why you feel like shit the next day."

"I know, Bailey," she nodded in agreement. "You really should call him back."

"Really, Terra?" What a classic move on her part, listening in on mine and Becca's conversation.

"Oh come on, Bailey, if the models aren't telling one another everything, everyone else in this damn room is gossiping about us."

She had me there. Most models had their own agenda's, and gossiping about one another kept them in the loop on competition. I'd even succumbed to it more than my fair share.

Finally satisfied with me the two assistants moved on to Terra, brushing her black hair back over her shoulders to begin the oiling process as she stepped into the pair of heels they offered her.

"Have you talked to Stephany lately?"

"Nope." I replied firmly. "She made it pretty clear that if I wasn't helping her skeezy photog boyfriend out, she didn't want me around."

"Yeah. She's going down hill pretty fast."

I adjusted my bikini top and looked up at her suddenly. "What do you mean?"

"Really, Bailey? The girl weighs ninety pounds soaking wet, she's always got weird energy, and she's hanging around, in your words, with skeezy people. She's so far into her drugs, she's going to have a very hard time coming back."

Well that made sense. Drugs definitely could have aided in the nonchalance attitude with her daugher. "What about Karin?"

Terra shrugged to the best of her abilities. "Last I heard David was petitioning for sole custody."

"Hopefully he gets it, Karin deserves better," I mumbled with a quick glance over my shoulder, Becca and another girl were now walking towards us.

"Red bikini's!"

"That's us." Terra dropped her arms.

The assistants did a once over of both of us quickly before sending us along our way. The Coffin Case shoot went fairly quickly, which was nice. Being able to focus on my job and not worry about Terra made me breathe a little easier. I still didn't trust her, but her acknowledgement of her mistake did wonders for my attitude towards her personally. After our shoot I wiped down, slipped back into my own clothes and began to gather my things to leave.

"So what are you up to tonight?" Terra asked, knowing full well that if she pushed hard enough to get back into my life, I'd let her.

Plus she'd been listening in on my girl's night plans, I was sure of that so I couldn't really lie to her now. "Dinner at my house with a few people."

"Oh, right on." She slid her purse strap into the cook of her arm and smiled. "That'll be lots of fun."

"Oh jesus christ," I slid my purse strap up onto my shoulder, "be there at seven. And I'm warning you, it might not turn out very well for you, the girls know about you."

"Thank you, Bailey. I can handle it."

I nodded and headed out the front door of the studio, eager to set my evening plans in motion.

I took a deep breath of LA air and brushed my sideswept bangs back out of my eyes before digging for my phone again. When Maggie answered on the first ring I knew she was in her office and was most likely pissed that the phone never stops ringing in this business.

"Please, for the love of God tell me that you went to your shoot today and that you did fabulous and that they will be hiring my models again in the future."

Jesus murphy. Caller ID didn't leave much to the imagination anymore. "Oh I'm sure the blow job I gave the lighting director between shoots ensured we'll be hired again." I said sarcastially.

"Good, whatever works."

I rolled my eyes but kept my voice neutral, I needed her on my side right now. "Listen," I toed a small rock with the tip of my ballet flat before kicking it off the curb and into the street. "Maggie I need your help."

The silence on the other end of the line told me loud and clear that she wasn't interested in what I needed right now. And I hated begging but this was for a good cause. "Please, Mags," I stooped to using the nickname I'd given her as a friend, before we ever jumped on this ridiculous journey of owner and slave. "I need you to hook me a DJ for tonight as well as a bartender."

I would have pushed for a chef too, but Hugh loved me enough that I knew he'd let me borrow Rex from the mansion for one night. And if for some reason I couldn't talk him into it, I knew Kendra could.

"What do you need these people for?" she asked point blank. She was probably afraid I was doing something that wouldn't include her good name in the credits and make her a fortune.

"No need to get our publicist involved." I assured her. "Mags this is for me, for my relationship, and ultimately," I sighed, "my sanity." I hitched my purse further onto my shoulder and took a step backwards to allow the many people now on the sidewalk an easy way by me.

"You're throwing a personal party and calling in all your favors for it, is that it?"

I didn't appreciate the tone in her voice. She was married to her job and had no time for a relationship of any sort and it would be that way for her, forever and always. Just the way she liked it. But being a model never lasted. I wanted a shot at normal friends, and maybe one day a family like my sister. And if this was my chance at that family, I needed to do everything to make sure it happened.

"I need this, Mags. And if you won't help me, I'll do it on my own anyway."

"No no," she finally gave in. "If you're throwing a party I want the best names associated with yours. Word of mouth goes a long way. Give me twenty minutes and I'll get back to you."

She hung up on me and I glanced at my phone one last time before hitting call ended myself. There that was two more items off my list. Now I needed to get to work on the others.

"Hey, Bail, you left your scarf," Becca let the front doors swing shut behind her as she approached me, arm stretched out in front of her grasping tightly to my white and black skull printed scarf.

"Thank you," I smiled enthousiastically and she eyed me curiously.

"What's up with you and Terra?" she asked finally.

I wrapped my scarf loosely around my neck once and let the ends dangle down between the lapels of my jacket. "She knows she fucked up, and honestly it's way to much work trying to hate her. She's sorry to a degree, and I'm still not pleased with her. But if I ever messed up that bad with someone like you or her, I would hope you guys would offer me the same courtesy."

Becca nodded in understanding. "I'm still kinda sad I missed you punching her in the face."

"Who knows, you might to get to see it tonight," I laughed then and linked my arm in her own. "Wanna come shopping with me for center pieces?"

"Right now?" she adjusted her layered tank tops with her free hand then ran her fingers through her hair. "What time are you planning on dinner?"

I released her and stood up straight. "I'm really not sure at the moment. I'm thinking it'll be close to eight. But we can drink and hang out an hour or so before."

"Alright, as long as you have me home with enough time to shower and change before we go to your house."

"Deal," I dug my lambo keys out of my front jeans pocket and tossed them to her. "You can drive, I have alot of phoning to do."

* * *

"I'm not going to remember their names," Becca tapped a small amount of mattifying texture hair power into her hair before beginning to back comb it slightly. We'd just finished setting the tables outside with the flower centerpieces we'd picked up, along with place settings and name tags. We'd also picked up some cupcakes from the bakery and addresed one to each guest. Now we were just finishing getting ready.

"You don't need to know them before you meet them," I laughed softly as I used my straightner beside her to twist a few last curls into my hair. "Besides they'll love you."

"Hah," she scoffed, "why would they love me?"

"Because you're not me," I answered her question honestly before reaching for the cord of my straightner and unplugging it.

She fell silent for a moment as I checked my make-up in my other mirror before grabbing a hair clip and clipping back the top layer of my hair. She finished with her own hair and we left my bedroom bathroom and headed for the kitchen. She pulled herself onto one of the bar stools and I grabbed us each a bottle of water from the fridge as we watched the commotion around us. Guys were still moving through my house at a steady pace, carrying various pieces of equipment outside onto the patio. Maggie had hooked me up with my DJ and bartender as a favor, but I was probably going to pay for it later anyway.

All I'd had to do was secure the chef, and I'd done that on the way to the first store. While Becca drove I'd phoned Hef and managed to wrangle Rex for the evening and now he too was in my driveway with a vehicle packed full of groceries.

"Bailey I haven't seen you in forever," he greeted me at the door with his usual hug before making his way into my kitchen to assess what was useful to him, and what he'd need to get his help to bring.

"Want us to help?" I asked him as he studied my oven.

"Nope," he replied quickly. "Just stay outta my way."

I saluted him playfully before taking our cue to get out of his way seriously and moving into the living room with Becca. She sank down onto my white leather couch on the opposite end and pulled her legs up, resting her barefeet on the edge of the couch.

"So," she started quietly, "tell me the story of Bailey and Zack."

"You honestly wanna hear that?"

"Mm-hhmm," she twisted the cap off her water bottle and smiled at me before taking a sip.

I smiled back. I was glad that she'd turned out to be very down to earth. I'd had my reservations about meeting her, but now I was so glad that Maggie had paired me up with her in the beginning. She was truly beginning to feel like the best friend that I'd always needed and wanted.

"Well," I started, "I was one of those girls who was given everything and as cheesy as it sounds, I quite literally had everything except love. My parents were never very involved in one another, nor maternal towards my sister and I. Eventually they divorced and the easiest way for them to deal with me and Trish was to buy us shit. They carted us back and forth from one house to the other and gave us money to go off and do something or buy something to keep us out of their hair. Trish was always better at dealing with it. She's six years older than me, so I think she could better understand them than me."

"My parents divorced when I was young too," Becca sympathised, "my brother and I did the back and forth thing for years. It sucked."

I nodded in complete agreement. "Yeah it does. Then I met Zack in grade seven. I actually met him through his mother. I use to get my hair done in her shop all the time and we kinda got to know one another. For some reason she felt he and I needed to meet because one day during one of my appointments he walked in and she proceeded to insist we get to know one another." I took a drink of my water and crossed one leg over the other, staring at my black flat screen TV. "Looking back now I think she knew how lonely I was."

I brushed my bangs back out of my eyes and sighed lightly. "Anyway, Zack and I hung out all the time up until about freshman year. Actually even then when we weren't in school and I wasn't with my friends I was with him, but in school we barely talked. That was my fault. I didn't want him around me, interrupting 'girl' time or giving my girlfriends a reason to grill me about the guy with the crazy hair and whether or not we'd hooked up yet. I was seriously devoid of knowledge of what a real relationship should look like. I ran the show, said when and where we'd hang out, and he still stayed. His friends tried desperately to keep him from me, and they had good reason. I guess I just felt that I was too good for Zack. Then I met this guy, Steven, in our junior year, he was already in college and he was interested in me, so I was hooked. Never mind the fact that Zack obviously had been to since he hung in there so damn long. But after graduation I broke up with him anyway, and in a letter no less."

"Bailey, you're eating outside?" Rex interruped and stepped down from the kitchen into the living room and gestured towards the open sliding glass doors.

I nodded. "Yeah, there's a couple tables out there around the propaane fire pit. They're all set and ready."

"You broke up with him in a letter?" Becca sipped at her drink, brining me back into our conversation, "that's harsh."

"I couldn't agree more now, but then I didn't care. And what's even worse is that it wasn't how I broke up with him, it was what I said to him. I did a very good job of making it sound like I never needed him. And we weren't good together. I think that was my way of trying to convince myself of the same thing." I paused for a moment, picking at the wrapper around my water bottle. "Anyway, Zack wanted to be a rockstar, had this band called Mad Porno Action. I was positive he was going nowhere fast and that wasn't the jetset life I had in mind for myself. So I left with Steven, moved upstate, tried going to school but I quickly learned that in this new setting I had to actually compete to keep Steven's eye on me and only me. I slowly started to realize that I had done the same thing to Zack, and in my desperate attempt to hold on to Steven," I paused for a moment, fighting back my wildly shifting emotions, "I got pregnant."

"Oh my god," Becca's eyes widened in disbelief and looked me over quickly. "What happened?"

"Well," I shuddered at the rapidly returning memories, "He suddenly seemed to grow up. We moved into an apartment, he kept going to school and I picked up a job at this clothing store. He was suddenly gone more and more and with me trying to hold on, I suddenly started seeing my life heading to the exact place my parents ended up. I didn't want it. But it took me too long to figure it out because by the time I went to leave him, he had already left me. Took all my money that I'd been given and saved up. He'd slowly been siphoning it away and before I knew it, I was pregnant, about to lose my apartment, about ten grand in debt and had a job that wouldn't last long. So I phoned my sister. She helped move me back to LA, and just before I could get back on my feet and really start planning, I lost my baby. They said it was probably because I was under way too much stress."

"Oh my god, Bail. That must've been horrible."

I nodded. "It was. But it also made me stop and think. I wasn't ready for a baby, and my body must've agreed with me. After that I knew I needed to do something, anything, to never end up in a situation like that again. My sister was a model. She hooked me up with a few guys who scouted for magazines. I got some recognition in smaller campaigns, and that's when I met Maggie, and it was also around the time I met the scout for Playboy. He said he wanted me, so I got my portfolio together and send it to him, and before I knew it I was moving into the mansion for my two week test period. And that's when I met Brody."

"Ahhh, Mr. Jenner," Becca grinned. "He seems like a really nice guy though."

I nodded in agreement. "He is. He was filming The Hills then. I was testing at the mansion. It was kind of a match made in media heaven. But I actually fell for him. He kept me off the show, trying to keep us away from all the drama that went with it, and we were able to keep it together that way for a little over a year."

"Did he know about your pregnancy?"

I shook my head and took another sip of water. "Acutally, you and my sister are the only two that know."

"What if you told Zack, explained to him what you've really been through and that you've really changed. You're not the girl he use to know and that he can trust you."

I shook my head again. "I'm not proud of the way I acted, and I don't want sympathy."

"I don't think you give him enough credit. Maybe he'd really appreciate your bold honesty?"

I truly doubted that. I wanted to tell him on my own terms, not in a desperate attempt for him to give me more of a chance. Right now the way into his heart was going to be through his friends, and if not a direct line to his heart, I knew it definitely couldn't hurt.
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