Shut Those Legs Girl, It's Closing Time

Shayley and I walked home in stark silence. He walked a few feet ahead of me, his hands in his pockets, and his eyes set on the ground in front of him. I sighed at the current situation on hand. Had I tried to be more civil, relatable, polite; perhaps we wouldn’t be in this predicament. Shayley stood on the porch to my house, his foot tapping impatiently. I came up and unlocked the door allowing him entrance. I went inside and locked the door behind me. I lingered in the living room, leaning my back against the front door. I bit down on my bottom lip indecisively, did I really want to walk into the hurricane that was Shayley’s mind?

Shayley was never one to be cross with me and my actions, but he sure as hell never ignored me. He was always so caring, attentive, showering me with his love. That man that was in my room right now wasn’t my boyfriend, he was the shell of Shayley with the fury of another.

I took a few nervous steps towards the stairs, before walking up them hesitantly. I pushed my door open, and it creaked loudly causing Shayley to look up at me. Shayley was sitting at the foot of my bed, his fingers laced together, and his elbows resting on his knees. His stony glare was set upon my brown doe eyes. I sat down on the bed beside him and placed my hand on his shoulder. Shayley slouched his shoulder, and my hand, meeting no resistance, hit the bed.

“Shay, you okay?” I asked, fiddling with my thumbs in my lap.

No response.

“Shay I know what happened earlier was bullshit, but you don’t have to take it out on me.”

I went around Shayley and wrapped my arms around his neck in what I considered an apologetic hug. He pushed me off of him, and moved over on the bed, still not saying a word. My jaw dropped in surprise, I moved my bangs out of my eyes, “What the fuck is wrong with you Shay?”

Shayley stood up, his usually kind, loving, inviting eyes were now ones of pure bitterness. “Nothing, it’s nothing Jaten.”

I scrunched my face up at the sound of my full name, not the abbreviation Shayley had always said with such pride, as if I was the most important thing in the world to him. “Then why are you being such an ass towards me?”

Shayley’s head snapped towards me, “Maybe because you won’t leave me the fuck alone!”

“IT’S NOT MY FAULT SHE DIDN’T LIKE ME!” I blurted out, igniting a certain fire within Shayley.

“WELL YOU SHOULD’VE TRIED HARDER!” Shayley shouted throwing his hands in the air.

“WHY DO YOU CARE IF WE DON’T GET ALONG?” At this point I was on my feet, my fists clamped shut, and my jaw clenched.

“I need my girlfriend to get along with my best friend.” Shayley responded, his fingers pulling at the roots of his hair.

“And what if I don’t?” I seethed stepping forward to come face to face with Shayley. I mentally cringed at my choice of words, my statement could only formulate a negative response from Shayley.

“Then I guess I’ll have to find a girl that will.” Shayley said, his expression reading blank.

I felt all the blood drain from my face, and my heart sink lower into my chest. I became nauseous, but I held my hand up, pointing at my door. “I guess the problem solved itself then.”

Shayley’s expression immediately became one of regret, he began to plead. I shook my head, biting back the tears. “Just go.” I said my voice cracking. Shayley wouldn’t listen, so I forced him out of the room, locking the door before he had the chance to come back in. I flicked my lights off and crawled into my bed, throwing my comforter over me. I curled up into a ball and sniffled a few times, my eyes began stinging with tears. I choked out a sob, trying to keep from crying hysterically.

“Jae I’m sorry!” Shayley called from the other side of the door.

I buried my face into my pillow muffling the sound of my cries. Shayley knocked on the door, pleading with me. Just the sound of his voice made my heart well up with a sense of complete loss. I cried myself to sleep that night, my dreams were filled to the brim with thoughts of Shayley, actually nightmares was a more appropriate term.

I woke up the next morning my throat pulsing, dry, and aching; and my eyes swollen and red. I got up and opened my door, Shayley’s back landing on my feet. He had slept here last night, outside of my door. I looked down at his face, his tear stained face catching my immediate attention. Shayley sat up, rubbing at his eyes. He stood up and wrapped his arms around my waist, “Jae, I’m sorry, forgive me. I love you, take me back?”

I felt a new set of tears overcome me, I nuzzled my face into his shoulder, and squeezed him tightly. “Please?” I breathed out, my sharp breaths ravaging my frail body.

Shayley kissed my forehead, “I’ll never treat you like that again.”

We stood there for what seemed like hours, making promises to each other that neither of us would keep. I love Shayley, I really do, but I don’t love him nearly as much as he loves me, and that’s why our relationship wasn’t stable. And the only thing that stood in between my complete happiness was his best friend- Rayn.