Nightmare

I sat up, looking at Zacky, the words he just spoke ringing in my ears: I’m sorry I did that…

Zacky actually apologized for sleeping with me. He actually apologized. Did that mean he was sorry that he did it? What am I saying, of course it does. When you’re sorry that you did something, you apologize for it.

I guess that now he was actually looking at it, he realized how stupid he was for sleeping with me, and I was realizing how stupid I was to think that he would actually enjoy it.

Here I was, the stupid, pathetic little human that dreamed of having some sort of relationship with this amazing creature that was now before me, thinking I would have to be very lucky to ever get him.

Well, I got him, but I’m just not lucky enough to keep him.

Zacky realized how he wouldn’t want some stupid human girl when he could have all the vampires that he could ever want. They were the ones that he wanted, not me. I was just some charity case, where he just wanted to know what it would be like.

And apparently I wasn’t good enough, because he regretted it.

Zacky regretted sleeping with me.

I quickly got up, reaching for my clothes, pulling them on at a fast pace, and feeling like the biggest idiot in the world.

“Wait, no, I didn’t mean it like that,” Zacky said reaching to stop me.

I just moved out of the reach of his hand, pulling my shorts on. “Zacky, it’s okay,” I lied, trying to sound convincing. “It’s not a big deal.”

“No, Starr,” He got out of the bed, pulling his boxers on, before approaching me.

I continued to search for the remainder of my clothes, trying to avoid all eye contact with him as possible, ignoring him as he tried to speak to me.

“Starr, would you just listen to me for a minute?” Zacky grabbed hold of my arms, making me stop right in front of him.

“I’m trying to find my shirt,” I answered.

Zacky held up my tank top. I reached for it, put he held it out of my reach. I glared at him.

He only smirked. “I’ll give it back, but you have to listen to me for a minute, okay?”

I huffed in annoyance, following him over to the bed, sitting on the edge, facing him. I was still only in my shorts and bra, so I crossed my arms over my chest, waiting for him to finish his little dialogue about how he didn’t mean to sleep with me, so I could have my shirt back.

He took a deep breath, which confused me, seeing that he didn’t breathe at all, but watched as he ran over his little speech in his head quickly.

“Uhm…”

I rolled my eyes. That was surely not the way you’re supposed to start off an explanation of this sort.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Zacky repeated, lifting his eyes to glance at me.

I just sat there, not really having much to say.

“The way it came out wasn’t how I wanted it to,” he continued. “I don’t want you thinking that I regret it. I don’t, Starr. I don’t regret even a second of it—I just know that it shouldn’t have happened.”

“Zacky, I don’t even know why you’re bothering,” I said. “Like I said, it’s no big deal.”
“Starr, it is a big deal,” he told me. “Okay? I… I mean that I shouldn’t have done that when you’re supposed to be marrying Prince Tristan.”

I rolled my eyes once more. “”What does that have to do with anything?”
Zacky laughed lightly. “It has everything to do with everything. Tristan is involved in your entire life, Starr. He’s supposed to be your husband, ruler of the underworld. That’s pretty important.

“But the thing about Tristan is that… he’s very… possessive, and territorial. What’s his is his; no one else is to touch it. And… I know that you’re not gonna like hearing this, since you are against women being property, but… Tristan sees it as he owns you.”

“What?” I yelled, standing. “He thinks I belong to him? He thinks he owns me?”

I started pacing back and forth, talking to myself, furious over that, unable to believe that some guy would think that I was his possession, despite the fact that he has never met me before. Zacky quickly reached for me, sitting me back down, making me stop with my little rant.

“Yes,” he nodded. “And along with that, Tristan believes in punishment for those who do not follow his orders.”

“What are you getting at Zacky?”

Zacky bit down on his lip rings lightly. “I am one of Tristan’s followers, he is my creator. He turned me into a vampire, so I serve him. I am one his most trusted supporters, one who he trusts to follow his word to the end… but… since I… touched you… that is considered treason, Starr.”

I swallowed a little harder than before. That made me wonder what type of punishment Tristan believed in, and if he dealt with treason the same way the United States did. One look into Zacky’s eyes gave me my answer.

“You’re kidding me,” I whispered, but watched as he shook his head no. “Tristan would kill you for betrayal, just because you slept with me?”

I was up on my feet once more, pacing and yelling. I couldn’t believe that. That was insane. It was preposterous! All Zacky did was sleep with me, and it’s not like I was a virgin before that, so why would that matter to Tristan?

“Starr,” Zacky stood up, holding both sides of my face, making me stop and look at him. “There’s more… do you remember what Vega was saying that day? In the woods?”

I thought back to the day, nodding. “Yeah… he was saying how… you would never see me again, with your death, given that…”

My words faded out into nothingness as I remembered completely, sighing.

“Yeah…” Zacky nodded. “Given that he doesn’t kill you first.”

I swallowed hard at that.

“Starr, I don’t want that,” he told me. “I don’t care what happens to me, but I will never let anything happen to you. I promised myself that the moment I first saw you, that night when you were only a few days old. I can’t put you in that position.”

I glanced up at him. “So… you don’t regret what happened?”

I know it was probably not the right thing to ask. Here was Zacky being so sweet about not allowing my to be put in harm’s way, and all I was thinking about was whether or not he wished that whole thing didn’t happen.

Zacky gave a light laugh, shaking his head. “Are you kidding me? No, I don’t regret it. Why would you even think that?”

I just shrugged in response.

He shook his head again. “No, I don’t regret it, Starr. I could never regret that. I… I want to be around you… with you… But I can’t let that keep happening because I can’t control myself, and put you at risk.”

“But what if you don’t have to control yourself?” I asked innocently.

Zacky gave me a questioning look. “And this is the part where I’m gonna say that you should have gone to law school with your ability to find loopholes.”

I smiled. “Well, I was just thinking… I’m not against this, you don’t want to have to worry about self-control… maybe things could work.”

“Oh, enlighten me—how?”

“Vega said that would happen if, and only if, Tristan found out,” I said. “Who says he has to find out?”

“Oh no,” he shook his head. “This has disaster written all over it.”

“Zack…” I protested. “It’s not that bad… it’s not like the guys are gonna go tell him. I know that. They have your back… it could work, if you want it to…”

Zacky sighed, thinking about what I just said, turning away from me, resting his hands behind his head for a moment. “Starr, I could never let anything happen to you like that,” he said, turning to face me.

I smiled, knowing that mean he was considering it. “I know…” I decided to play the innocent card once more; guys loved it when I did that. “You just have to ask yourself… am I worth a little secret from the Vampire Prince?”

Zacky didn’t even have to answer that. His lips were on mine before he could.