The stages of falling

I was uncomfortable where I woke up, my body was constricted with a scratchy material and the bed I lay on was hard. I opened my eyes to find my mum asleep on a couch, Ali pacing the room and Oliver talking to a nurse outside. My brows furrowed in confusion and ali noticed me waking up.

‘Oh my gosh. Dammit nic!’ she exclaimed, she hugged me avoided the wires and scratchy bed linen.

‘Did anyone ever tell you mixing sleeping pills with painkillers and vodka is a bad idea?’
I remembered taking a sleeping pill and shortly before taking 4 painkillers and a few shots of vodka.

I grunted and rolled over, Oliver came in smiling.

‘Nurse says your stable dude’ he came close to my face and smiled.

‘Water’ I croaked, he nodded and headed out to find a nurse.

‘Oh and since im nice, I called oli. I thought you’d probably want to see him’ Oliver smiled and walked out to get my water.

My eyes shot open and I sat up, my body was tired and heavy and my head spun when I sat up fully.

‘No, nic lie down’ ali soothed me ‘Look, you shouldn’t deal with this now, don’t let oli know you know yet. Okay?’

‘That seems like a better idea’ to tell the truth, I was way too tired to be mad at oli now.

A nurse walked in with a measuring cup and a clipboard. She slowly measured small amounts of water and wrote something down on her clipboard. I rolled my eyes
‘Can’t you just give me a full glass, I’m thirsty’ I whined weakly.

‘Sorry Nicole, we have to restore your hydration moderately’ she smiled.

I just lay there and gave up ‘okay, I think that’s enough water. thanks’

The nurse walked out and oliver and ali came over to my side, a light knock was heard on the door. We all looked towards the door to find Lee.

He sighed and then smiled ‘You’re stupid, you know that?’ he joked.

I smiled weakly as he pulled up a chair alongside Oliver by my bed. Then a loud thump was heard from outside followed by a chorus of apologies and heavy footsteps.

Oli appeared looking tired and worried, rubbing his arm nervously. I wished with all my heart I actually wanted to see him, but I was finding it hard to pretend I didn’t know. And I was finding it hard to hate him, with all the pity in his face, how damaged he looked and how red his eyes were with weariness.

I just looked at him and looked away. Everyone gave each other secret signals and soon enough the room was empty, including my sleeping mum. Oli walked in fully and sat down next to my bed.

‘I know Ive been the worst boyfriend lately, but im just…going through some..stuff. you know?’ I rolled over to face him, and smiled.

‘Yeah, I know’

He took my hand and stroked it softy, I missed his touch, and after a few seconds I realized how much I hated his guts a few hours earlier, so I pulled my hand back to pull the blanket up to my chin. He just smiled and put his hand on my face. I shivered under his touch, I hated how he still affected my like this.

‘Are you cold?’ he asked, while suppressing a yawn.

I shook my head ‘Just tired’ I said weakly.

To be honest, oli looked worse than me. His eyes were tired and bloodshot, His hair was messy and his fringe covered his eyes.

‘And you look tired too’ I mentioned ‘go sleep on the couch’ I offered.

‘Um, I think im gonna go home. Get some proper rest. But I’ll come by in the morning’ he planned. I nodded but I wasn’t gonna let him get away that easy.

‘Isn’t Kim staying here anyway?’ I asked.

‘Umm, yeah. But I spent all day with her, and mum’s with her now. So im going home’ he smiled and leaned down to kiss me. I turned my face and his lips collided with my cheek. He walked out slowly turning around one last time to look at me. There was that look, the one of pain and sorrow all combined in one. I looked away and heard him leave.

I woke in the morning, and sat up slowly. No one was in my room. The hospital blinds filtered the sunlight, letting only small slits of it into the room. I looked to see my favourite book, my ipod and my phone on the small table next to me. I smiled as I picked up my phone and checked my messages. One form oli and one from oliver. I sighed and opened oli’s message.

From: oli
Im so sorry I didn’t come by this morning, I over slept and woke up really sick. I’ll come by your house tomorrow I promise. I love you, please remember that.
xx

I decided not to reply.

From: oliver
Uhhhh, want me to come by the hostipal ?

I pressed reply

Yes! Im lonely. And I wanna know when im getting outa here

After sending the message I sat my phone down and sighed. My mouth felt dry and swallowing hurt. I pressed the nurse button. After seconds of waiting my mum burst through the door with water and a small container of jelly.

‘Nicole. Your stupidity is making me grow older every day. I was so worried’ she hugged me tightly and pulled up a chair.

I picked up the water and drank slowly. Then she handed me the jelly and I started eating.
‘I know’ I said between bites ‘I’m sorry’ I was so hungry and weak; I needed food in my system fast.

‘I took the liberty in taking that bottle of vodka out of your room last night’ she said.
I looked down avoiding eye contact.

Someone burst through the door with something very colourful in hand. It was a huge bouquet of flowers covering the persons face. Once he put the flowers down and turned around I smiled weakly. My mum saw who it was and left the room giving my hand a squeeze and taking a clipboard with her.

‘I wasn’t sick after all’ oli stood there with his hands in his pockets and his hair slightly wet and messy.

‘Hey’ I was trying to decide if I had the energy to confront him now, or if I should delay it any longer.

We sat in silence for a while when a loud choir of voices came through the door.
It was only ali and Oliver, but they made a whole lot of noise. Oliver held a box while ali held nothing.

‘Happy recovery after getting your stomach pumped and nearly dying’ they sang
I laughed holding my stomach. I took the box oliver held and opened it to find a chocolate cake.

Happy birthday it read ‘Ummm?’ I said looking up.

‘Sorry, it was the only cake they had’ Ali apologized.

I laughed and put it on the table beside my bed. Before any awkwardness blossomed a nurse entered and announced I could leave safely now. I smiled and said thank you. Ali and Oliver looked at each other and left seeing how uncomfortable oli was. When they left I closed the door and got changed.