The stages of falling

His words were so sharp and almost poisonous. I had internalized all he said and I started to believe him. What if oli hurt me again? and I didn’t want to stop seeing Oliver, he was my friend only for a short time, but I felt like I knew him for life.

These thoughts moved so fast in my head, I noticed I was pacing my room. I quickly stopped this and glanced at the time. According to my clock oli would be here in half an hour. I quickly rummaged through my wardrobe to find something to wear. I picked out an acid wash dress, and paired it with a pair of black flats. Once I put my clothing on I applied some heavy eyeliner. I put my hair down and started to straighten out the natural curls, I stopped. I pulled it back into a bun and smiled at my reflection.

I heard a beep out front and I hurried as I grabbed my phone and a floral cardigan.
I saw a familiar car in the drive way and smiled. Oli came to greet me.

“Got yeh car working, so I thought I’d drive it over, and you can drive me home tonight” he took my hand and I smiled at how good this felt.

We arrived at the movies and got out of the car, oli opened the door and offered me his hand, I refused and got out of the car with him close on my back. I smiled playfully.
“So you’re playing hard to get ?” he caught up to me.

“I’m just making you work for me” I smiled and took his hand in mine, his body relaxed at my touch.

“What’s the movie choice tonight stud?” I nudged him.

He smiled wide and looked at me, then turned me to face him, he lifted his hand and tucked a stray hair behind my ear.

“I think we should see something scary” he joked, raising his eyebrows.

“Sure thing” I agreed.

We sat at the back, I didn’t sit in his lap like I normally would, I just sat popping candy into my mouth. I noticed him looking at me and held my hand out with some candy in it.

“Want some?”

He just took the candy and put it in his mouth looking at me the whole time. It went dark and I felt olis hand creep onto my thigh. I took it and placed it back in his lap. I could tell he wasn’t happy with this, as his body tensed up and went rigid, I moved closer to him and placed my hand on his. His body relaxed and I could feel him inhale and exhale next to me.

The movie reached a gory part, the blood squirted from a man’s chest and the killer stabbed and stabbed, over and over. I didn’t know why, but it was scaring me, and I couldn’t take it, I looked down at my hand on olis, and calmed myself. He noticed my uncomfortable state and laced his fingers in mine.

His lips were close to my ear and he whispered softly “It’s just a movie”

I nodded, shoving the gory pictures to the back of my mind. When the movie was finally over the lights slowly brightened until I could fully see olis face, I smiled and he returned the smile happily.

“Let’s go” he took my hand and led me out of the theatre, as he did so I caught sight of a familiar pair of red shoes. They were mine, and I hadn’t seen them for a few months now. I released olis hand and walked up to find Ali sitting by herself.

“Dude” I laughed “those are mine” she half smiled and got up to hug me.

“Who are you here with?” and at that second someone nudged past me and planted himself in the seat next to Ali. Oliver looked up to me and smiled, he then went back to texting.

I was about to say something, but Ali pulled me aside “Nic, he’s not that happy with you at the moment, he’s really hurt” she hinted to leave.

“But it’s not my fault” I tried to defend myself.

“Oh please Nic, if you weren’t so caught up in Oli you would have noticed how much he liked you” her eyebrows were raised.

“Shit Ali, who’s side are you on?” I mumbled, Ali rolled her eyes.

“Just leave it Nic, leave him” I huffed and agreed without saying a word; I left Ali talking to Oliver and re-joined Oli. His hand found mine fast and tightened so I couldn’t escape again.

“Let’s get ice-cream” his voice had turned childish, I had never seen him in this light, and I was ready for a new Oli.

“Aright, where?” I asked while getting in the driver’s seat.

“I’ll drive” he forced me to jump over the middle console and sit in the passenger seat; I laughed as he got in the car.

“Music?” he asked.

“I get to pick that” I shifted through my CD’s and found Smashing pumpkins; I flicked to track 5 and ‘1979’ played loud through my speakers.

Oli smiled and sang loud to the song, we yelled and sang with the windows down, people stared and we didn’t care, once the cold was too much for me, I rolled up my window and Oli did the same. I didn’t know how, but we were enjoying each other, without even needing to speak. Oli finally stopped the car, I looked out the window to see the ocean, and in the distance a small ice-cream stall.

When we got there before I could even check the flavors Oli ordered for me and I soon had a colorful ice-cream toppled with sprinkles.

“This looks gross” I laughed.

Oli laughed as he licked his ice-cream “Don’t knock it ‘till you tried it”

I sighed, I guess the least I could do was trust him with the flavour of this ice-cream, it was sickly and sweet but at the same time, the best ice-cream I had ever tasted.
“And what exactly am I eating?”

“It’s a rainbow surprise” oli started biting at his blue cone.

I laughed at the way he said it “And how did you discover this?”

“My Dad took us to this place all the time when we were kids”

I smiled and offered him the rest of my cone; he rolled his eyes and took it, quickly finishing it off for me.

When we finally got back to the car, I got into the driver’s seat and started heading back to Olis house. Once again we played music at an illegal volume and shouted the lyrics as loud as our lungs could manage. When we finally arrived at his house the lights were out and it was pitch black, I felt olis hand reach for mine.

“Walk me?”

We walked together trying to find our way in the pitch black night to his front door. He bent down and found the key under the doormat, when he finally got the door open he flung me into the house and found my lips. My fingers traced his jaw and then traced down his neck and to his chest. We managed to very skilfully walk up the stairs still connected at the lips, flinging off pieces of clothing as we walked. My cardigan, his jacket, my shoes and his shoes. When we finally got up to his room he reached back to pull his shirt off, I lay down and his body slid onto mine. His hand moved up my dress onto my thigh and then onto my bare back, he pulled the dress off and found my lips again. I led my hand to his torso, I could feel the heat from his body warming mine, my hands found his chest and then hooked around his neck. Our legs were entwined as he found my bra hook. Then I froze. Did I really want to be moving this fast with oli again?

“Stop” I pushed him off, and he furrowed his eyebrows.

“Nic, what’s wrong?” I found my dress and slipped it over my head. Then I faced oli again.

“Too fast”

“Oh, right” he found a shirt on the floor and put it on.

I just sat on the edge of his bed, my hands in my lap. I heard oli sigh from behind, he moved closer and sat behind me, I could feel his breath on my neck and he lightly placed his hand on my shoulder.

“Sorry”

He turned me around and kissed the corner of my lips, my lips turned into a smile as did his.

“Maybe you should drive home” he suggested.

I pouted “But I don’t wanna drive home, it’s late” I smiled.

“Well if you must, stay the night” he chuckled “We’re home alone anyway”

“I think I figured that one out, we would have woken someone up by now” I laughed, while settling into his arms.

He grasped me tightly in his arms, and slowly I felt him loosen his grip as he drifted into sleep.

I was woken by a vibration on the table next to me, it was oli’s mobile, I rubbed my eyes and they strained when I turned the lamp on. I answered the phone my voice heavy with sleep.

“Is Nicole there?” I checked the clock; it said 4am, who would be asking for me at this hour.

“This is her” I cleared my throat of the sleep it still held.

“I did something bad dude”

“Who is this?”

“Its Ali” her voice was lifeless.

“Ali, what the hell?”

“I couldn’t reach you, so I called oli”

“Ali, what’s wrong?" i rolled my eyes, waiting for some stupid story.

She was quiet on the other end.

“Ali?” i yawned.

“Okay, I’ll tell you”

“Oliver and I are really drunk ” she trailed off.

“You slept with him?" i assumed "Ali-"

“No, I didn’t sleep with him” she interrupted.

“Whatever you guys did, you shouldn't do when you're drunk"

Ali’s breathing became heavy and her voice dark “I know you shouldn’t drink and drive, but we didn’t have any way to get home”

I jolted up and stood, already putting my shoes on.

“Ali, listen to me, are you okay? Is Oliver okay?” I threw these questions at her like bullets.

“Theses a lot of blood, but I don’t know who’s it is” she sobbed a little.

“Call the ambulance” I ordered, at that moment oli stirred in his bed and opened one eye to look at me.

“I don’t want to, we’re gonna be in trouble” Alis voice had suddenly turned innocent, and her sobs stopped.

“Ali that doesn’t matter, please call the ambulance for me, please” I begged.

“But what if its too late?" she then broke out into heaving tears and couldn't control her crying.

"Ali" i spoke sternly "Please, just do it"

"I will, but i need you here, now please" she begged.

“Where are you? I’m coming now”

Ali told me which road she had the accident and I quickly grabbed my keys off the floor and on the way down the stairs grabbed my cardigan and slipped it on.

“Nic" Oli chased me "Where you going?” he ran down the stairs after me and stopped me before I could escape out the door. He saw my face and instantly took his firm grip off my shoulder.

He grabbed his jacket and put it on me “Just be safe” and at that, I ran out the door quickly hoping to reach Ali before anything worse happened.