The stages of falling

She just sat there, in a fully white room, in a hospital gown rocking gently back and forth as a doctor inspected her. It took 3 hours to fully clear the scene of the car crash, and all of those hours I sat by Ali and watched Oliver get taken away in an ambulance. Ali eyes looked up at me from across the room; I gave her an apologetic look and sipped my coffee.

The doctor nodded and left Ali, she looked desperately at me to join her, I walked briskly to her and sat on a chair next to the bed she was restrained to.

“Are you in any pain?” I asked.

She shrugged, and half smiled “It could be worse”

“Ali, you know it’s not your fault right?”

“Yeah, yeah, I just need to know he’s alright”

I sighed and saw my mum walk briskly past our room, I yelled out to her and she stopped in her tracks to face me and Ali.

“How are you dear?” my mum always treated Ali as her second daughter.

“I’m fine, how’s my mother?” at that moment Ali reminded me of her 10 year old self, when she knew she was really in trouble.

“She’s not impressed, but I’m sure she’s just thankful you’re safe” my mother really did have a knack at making everything okay. I smiled and Ali did so too.

My mum turned to leave the room, but I stopped her “Mum?”

She turned “Yes?”

My voice went quiet “How’s Oliver?”

“He’s fine, a few scratches and bruises, and a mild concussion, but he’ll be fine soon” she assured me.

I saw Ali breathe a sigh of relief at the corner of my eye, and thanked my mum before she left.

A young doctor entered and smiled at the sight of me holding Alis hand.

“Ali, i ran some tests, you’re fine, just a little shocked. You can go home in a few hours, we just want to keep you for some more observation, just to be safe” he smiled a perfect smile, and Ali nodded weakly.

“Are you family?” he asked me.

“No, but pretty close to it” I smiled; he chuckled and wrote some things down before he left the room. Ali lay down fully in her bed and nuzzled her head into a pillow.

“Dude, I’ll pick you up later, come back to mine, and we’ll watch some movies, okay? Get some sleep brutha” I smiled.

She smiled, and shut her eyes letting herself drift into sleep.

I hopped into my car and sat for a bit, just letting the night I just had register. I let my head rest on the steering wheel, and I closed my eyes for the smallest second, I was woken by a buzzing in the pit of my pocket.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hey, its Lee, you okay?”

I sighed “yeah, ill be cool in a bit. Just need some sleep”

“You coming home now?” I heard the tv in the background.

“Uhh, maybe I might stop at olis for a bit”

Silence, it seemed longer than it actually was.

“See you later then” Lee hung up.

I hated how uncomfortable he was about Oli and I, but he was slowly warming to the idea. I reached for something in the glove box and my wrist cast hit the joystick hard, putting my car into reverse. I quickly put it back into park and breathed a sigh of relief. I looked down at the cast; I was truly sick of it, I hopped out of the car and walked back to the hospital to hopefully have it removed.

I searched most of the rooms and when I finally found my mum she was with a patient, I looked in and she saw me waiting.

She excused herself and came out “yYs?”

I pointed to the cast.

“It’s not ready to come off”

“Please mum” I pleaded “just wrap it up or something” I smiled hopefully.

She rolled her eyes and took me to remove it, when she finally took it off my wrist was still a little bruised, so she wrapped it tight.

“Okay, all done, now can I get back to my job?” she laughed.

“If you must. Ali might be coming over tonight, depends if she’s better or not”

“That seems okay, how about I call you when she’s allowed to leave?”

I nodded and walked back out to my car, once inside I turned up the radio loud and turned the key. I took the usual root to Olis house, a few turns and back roads and I was there. Olis house was strangely tense; I locked up the car and heard yelling from the inside of the house, I wasn’t really sure I wanted to know. I got back in my car and took a few deep breaths before turning the ignition. It felt strange driving away from something so close to my heart, but I wasn’t ready for any more strain on this relationship, if he needed to tell me, he could.

When I arrived home I couldn’t wait to get to my shower, I had a night of tension that I needed to wash clean from my body, as I washed the remnants of last night from me, my phone rang.

I sighed; people always rang at the worst times. I quickly wrapped a towel around me and answered it.

“Yeah?”

“It’s me” Ali sounded tired and like she had just woken from a deep sleep.

“Need me to pick you up?”

“No, I just wanna talk. I’m bored as hell here”

I laughed “You also sound heavily sedated. So what you wanna talk about?” I unsuccessfully tried to dry myself while holding the phone between my shoulder and ear. As I got dressed Ali went on about how uncomfortable everything was, and how hot some of the male nurses were, I laughed loudly, I was just happy she was back to her old self.

After 1 hour straight talking to Ali, I promised to pick her up and she finally let me go to catch up on some sleep.

I let myself relax and a shard of light just touched my face, I watched the dust play in the sunlight and slowly drifted to sleep. Once again the buzzing from my phone woke me from my bedside table. I sighed and rolled over to answer the phone.

“I’m ready” Ali announced, with much more energy than earlier.

I smiled groggily “I’ll be there soon” and hung up.

According to my clock I had slept four hours, it really didn’t feel like it, I knew I needed more. But I couldn’t be greedy, Ali needed me.

I quickly traded my boxers and t shirt for a dress and leather jacket, I slipped my Doc martens on and grabbed my phone and wallet.

On the way to the hospital I left myself to imagine what Oli was shouting about, and if it was even him. I sighed, wanting so badly to stop thinking about it.

When I arrived Ali looked more than happy to see me, she hugged me tightly and my mum shooed us out, saying she would take care of everything. I wasn’t sure if I should ask Ali about oliver, but I went for it anyway.

“So have you seen Oliver?”

She flinched when I asked.

“Is it that bad?” I asked quietly.

“He’s just-I just- I- I can’t believe, I was the one who caused that” she stopped in front of a room, and jerked her head towards it; she then continued to the waiting area and sat quietly.
I peered into the room she referenced, and Oliver lay there, face covered in scratches, I couldn’t bear to see him that weak, before I could escape he opened his mouth to say something.

“Nic?”

“Yeah?” I came to his side and leaned my elbows on his bed.

“Make sure Ali knows it’s not her fault okay?” he breathed it out like he was struggling a little more with every word.

I waited, but apparently he didn’t have any more to say to me.

“Oh and nic?”

I looked at him concerned.

“I hope know you’re the only thing standing between me and Ali” A small sting of remorse hit the pit of my heart.

“I-I guess I’m sorry”

“I don’t understand why I can’t stop liking you, I don’t want to anymore. You pulled everything out from under me without even knowing”

Speechless I just shook my head a bit.

“Ali likes me, and I wanna like her back, but you’re just here in the way”

“Oliver” I started “If you like me as much as I-“ I stopped for a second “as much as I love Oli, then you would understand”

He fell silent, turning to his side and facing the wall rather than my aching face.
“Just send Ali in please”

I sighed and walked out to find Ali already by the door, I pointed with my thumb to the door and she happily walked to Oliver’s side.

Feeling horrible about my encounter with Oliver, I stayed quiet on the drive back to my house. The sky was beginning to look dark and the stars were starting to appear in the sky. I found myself gazing at them, when a loud honk startled me and I speed up to make the green light.
“I hope me liking Oliver is okay and everything” Ali finally spurted out.

“It’s fine, why wouldn’t it be?” I was wondering where people were getting their perception of me and Oliver’s friendship, I was guessing my tone gave away my frustration and Ali sighed loudly.

“God nic, I’m sorry alright, I like him”

“I know, and its fine” I concluded. I hated tension.

“Do you mind if you take me home, I think my mum will wanna see me” she then closed her eyes and leaned her head against the window.

When we arrived at her house, I softly shook her awake.

“Were here” I said softly.

She shook away from me and turned to face me “Thanks” a slight pause “Call you whenever”

“Yeah” I said gripping the steering wheel. She shut the car door and I waited for her to get inside before I drove off.

My head was literally spinning when I finally arrived home, the day had been way to long and I needed to sleep more than ever. I wrapped my bed sheets around my shivering body and once my head hit the pillow, I was asleep.