The stages of falling

I paced my room with the receipt which held the guys number on it. I folded the paper over and over, unfolding it and contemplating. The phone rang and I answered it with my forehead crumpled.

“Hello?”

“You busy? I’m bored as shit” Ali asked.

“I’m busy” I stated

“Stop pacing your room, call that guy. Gosh, I swear sometimes-“

“FINE” I huffed “bye bitch”

“You love me” I hung up not wanting to accept it, but she did make the decision way easier.
It rang a little longer than it should have, but I didn’t hang up.

“Hello?” his voice answered.

“Hi, it’s the- uh- girl from the coffee shop…”

“Oh, cute coffee shop girl”

I laughed nervously. “Yeah, I guess that’s me”

“I thought you weren’t gonna call me”

“Yeah, I was but, I just had so much on”

“You don’t have to play unavailable for me”

I laughed the same Laugh as before.

“I like your laugh”

“Thanks”

“Listen, I wanna go out sometime, do you wanna meet at the coffee shop at 10?”
And before I could protest he confirmed it for me and hung up. This boy moved quickly.

. . .

I walked up to the coffee shop and sighed as I entered.

“Hey” the coffee shop was empty and he was on the other side of the counter wiping it up.

“Hey” he smiled widely “ill clean this place up and we can get going”

“Take your time” I then sat in a chair, watching him clean up. When he was finally done he whipped his apron off and jumped the counter.

“I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t be doing that” I laughed

“Boss didn’t see it” he explained “it’s okay” he chuckled

“I’m thinking maybe we go to the park and talk for a bit” He was probably the first guy I met who wanted to talk.

“Okay, and by the way. What’s your name?”

He chuckled “I guess I should have told you”

“Yeah, that would be good” I smiled and laughed.

“It’s Oliver”

I looked straight ahead and could feel the irony creep into my cheeks as I walked further and further to his car.

“Is something wrong with my name?” he laughed.

“N-no. uh- I just, well I don’t like that name”

“Ex?”

I looked right into his eyes at that moment and my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. How did he already know me so well?

“You’re easy to read”

I looked ahead again and cleared my head of everything to do with oli. I tried not to look in his eyes the whole car ride, because I was scared, I was scared for him to see what my thoughts were. Since I was so easy to read.

When we finally arrived at the park, i sat down on the swing beside him, starting the deepest conversation I thought I would ever have.

“So tell me about this other Oliver”

“I’m pretty sure you don’t wanna hear the dirty details” I laughed, swaying my self softly.

“But dirty are the best kind of details” he seemed intrigued.

“He’s just a guy, a stupid guy” I couldn’t really find any other words to simply explain.

He smiled “understood, but what makes him so stupid?” he hopefully asked.

“You really wanna know?” I laughed giving up “Okay fine” I rolled my eyes.

And I bared my guts. Everything about Oli and I were spilt on the floor right in front of me. I couldn’t help it. But I needed to tell someone. And this Oliver just sat and listened. Every time I talked to someone else about this they would stop me and tell me to stop talking and thinking about it. That never helped.

“Wow. That’s a lot to take in”

“Tell me about it, ive been living it for the past 2 years” I shook my head.

His phone then beeped a couple of times; he flipped it open to read a message.

“How would you feel to a few drinks at my friends?”

“I guess I could do that”

“You need a party. My friends having one. And you can come along if you want”

“I don’t think I’m dressed up to the occasion”

“You look fine, by the end of the night it gets covered in puke anyway”

I smiled I knew he was right.

It was a pretty crazy party if you ask me, a few friends was actually a few hundred friends. There was heavy metal playing at an illegal volume, bodies flying everywhere and stuff was just everywhere. I’m pretty sure I saw a lamp on the roof. I stuck with Oliver the whole night. He kept drinking, and drinking until he got a little rowdy. Don’t get me wrong I drunk way too much as well, but I could still predict what he had planned for me and him.

His lips unexpectedly crushed with mine. I accepted that. And I kissed him back discovering he had a tongue piercing, then his hand started to slip up my top to my bra, and he tried to pull my shirt off. When I denied his request, I needed someone to step in. He kept pulling me closer and trying to wrap my legs around his torso. I put my hands against his chest and pushed him, just when my elbows were about to buckle, he fell to the ground rubbing his face. Was I stronger than I thought? Unfortunately not, because I spotted a guy shaking his hand and walking away. I followed him to thank him.

I shoved through the crowd and found myself bump against his back, being drunk blurred my vision. He picked me up, cupping my elbows.

“Thank you so much”
His jaw was purple and blue with bruises. “Not a problem love” then that snake bitten smile that had been haunting me in my dreams showed up on his face.

“Are you okay?” he asked sympathetically. His voice was levelled and every word formed and fell out of his mouth perfectly.

“I’m good” my voice slurred on every word.

“Maybe I should drive you home” he tugged at my arm leading my outside. But I refrained.

“I don’t know” I answered back.

And then she came, a beautiful blonde with various tattoos on her arms that made my one tattoo look implausibly pathetic. She came and grabbed his hand she glared right at me and looked me down.

“I’m SJ” she said sweetly, but you know about that candy with a sweet shell and sour centre. It gets worse the deeper you go.

“Nic. Short for Nicole” I slurred.

She smiled.

“SJ I’m gonna take nic home. She’s had too much to drink”

“Do you have to go?” she whined, then she whispered something seductive in his ear, looking at me the whole time. Making sure I was jealous that she got to sleep with him and I didn’t.

Oh what I could tell her about oli, she had no fucking idea.

I just kept smiling that same sweet fake smile she wore.

“I think I can find someone to come pick me up” she took his hand and led him up the stairs to one of the rooms. Then he gave me that look again. The one I had never seen until a few nights ago. His eyes were filled with sorrow and were pleading for me. I shook my head and half smiled pushing him towards SJ. This made the look worse to bear, but I quickly looked away and tried to find a phone to ring Lee up on.

I found one on the floor; I picked it up and went outside to make the call quieter.

“Lee?” I slurred.

“Nicole. You better have a good explanation-”

“Just pick me up”

“No Nic, you better-“

“Can I explain in the car?”

“Fine” he huffed.

I told him the address and ran back into the house to put the phone where it had been

dropped, I didn’t steal.

“Get in” lee yelled out the window over the music. I stumbled into the car and lay head against the window.

“Nic, I told you I didn’t want you with him”

“Lee, you don’t even know him, I met him at the coffee shop the other day. Remember?”

“What are you talking about?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about oli”

“I wasn’t with him tonight” I lied.

“Well then why did you call from his number and not yours?”

My eyebrows pulled together in confusion. And then I remembered exactly what he was talking about, the random phone I found on the floor to call him with. But I just sat quietly. And at that point lee stopped talking.