The stages of falling

‘Nic, number 1: I was drinking, number 2: I drove you home drunk, number 3: I took you up there, number 4-‘

‘Okay I get it, but I was the one who fell out’

‘Yeah after I pushed you’ he was serious, the words fell out of his mouth so fast I had to wait for them to sink in.

‘The important thing is I recovered and im fine now’

He turned to me and pushed my messy fringe back, he ran his finger along the scar that ran from my scalp to my forehead. I pushed his hand away.

‘that’s enough’ we walked back to the house in silence, when it was time to say goodbye, he held my hands as he leaned in and kissed my cheek lightly.

‘I love you and im s-‘

‘Sorry. I know’

He nodded and waved goodbye.

Once back inside my house all I wanted to do was sit in my room and listen to music. But ali had other plans. I lay on my bed and sighed heavily while putting my headphones in and choosing some Death cab for cutie.

‘NIC’

‘Argh, you scared the shit out of me, don’t do that’

She plopped herself down on my bed and lay looking up at the ceiling. I lay next to her. He both sighed heavily. She wriggled and reached under her back, pulling out a black jacket.

‘Where’d you get this ?’

‘Try olis back’ I smiled.

‘WHAT?’ she got up hastily and stood over me.

‘Yeah, it think we’re back together….’

‘He hurts you again, and imma pull out some WWII shit on his ass”

“so you’re gonna bomb him and take away his gas mask ?’

‘Oh more than that’ she warned, she then let out a light laugh and I joined in with her.

She connected her ipod to my stereo and we blasted music for 2 hours. Just sitting and yelling along to the songs. A loud knock was heard on my door. I rolled my eyes and opened it with Lee on the other side. Ali turned down the music. Lee jerked his head in one direction and oli appeared from behind.

‘There’s someone to see you’

‘Thanks lee’ I took oli in for a hug.

‘So you couldn’t be away from me for that long?’

‘Ha, sorry to burst your bubble but im here to get my jacket’ he walked in grabbed it and gave ali a nod.

‘Good to see you too oli’

‘Oh nic, by the way. Saturday I know you wanted me to come to that thing but I’m busy’

‘Shit, I’m busy too. I forgot I’m meeting up with…ali’ I smiled and gave him a tight hug, he held my hands while kissing me lightly on the lips. Before I knew it he was gone.

‘What are we doing Saturday?’

‘Um, those plans were actually with Oliver, not you. Sorry’

‘Oliver, as in coffee shop guy who oli punched out?’

‘Yeah, he’s nice…when he’s sober’

She sighed and went back to shouting loudly along to a song. I laughed and joined in. before we knew it we were both so tired we fell asleep on my bedroom floor cushioned by my pillows.

When I woke the next morning I found no ali, but a blanket over me and an extra pillow wedged under my back.

‘Good morning’ my mum leaned on the door frame to my room.

‘Mum, you’re home ?’

‘Well its 4:30 im the morning, im about to leave for my shift’ she smiled and laughed.

‘Wow, what am I doing up this early? I haven’t seen the world at this time in about 5 years’

‘Darling I don’t think you’ve ever woken up this early’ she laughed taking the last gulp of her coffee and walking out the door.

Ali rolled off my bed onto me with a loud thump. I moved as far away as possible from her but she still managed to fall and crush my wrist.

‘ahhhh, you twat!’

‘Shit, sorry’ she groaned. I rolled my eyes and went to the bathroom to run it under cold water, it was the closest thing to ice I had in my room.

My mum walked into my bathroom after me ‘oh and by the way, im getting sick of not knowing where you are’ she handed me a bright pink sidekick. I smiled bigger than ever and hugged her.

‘Thannnkk youu’ I sang. She just smiled and said her goodbyes to go to work another day.

I said goodbye to ali at about 9 in the morning and got ready for my shift at the record store. After my shower I dressed finding my ripped up denim shorts and my favorite bright blue cardigan. i looked through my whole closet trying to find a shirt, no luck. I was guessing they were all in the wash. All I found was a loose black singlet with the words ‘im hot like that’ on it. I laughed remembering the ridiculous costume paired with this to olis birthday party last year. I slipped it on and tucked it into my denim shorts, the singlet hung low revealing my bright pink bra underneath I slipped on my rabens and put my black beanie on. I rushed to work to find eric was away.

13 oppressed 11 year olds asking for the Hannah Montannah CD later, and I was fed up.

I was stacking CDs in the alternative section smiling at the albums bringing me happy memories. I stopped at a Bright eyes album. My smile flattened, I didn’t stop playing this one when oli broke up with me. It was perfect, like the album spoke for my situation. I sighed and put it in its place.

‘Excuse me? Isn’t this a music store ?’