My So-Called Life

I remember feeling my body tense up.

It wasn't just the fact of having to share this class with him, but knowing and feeling that he'd be right next to me was a nerve wrecker for sure.

There it goes again. That strange yet alluring pull that had me drawn to him. His eyes suddenly snapped to mine and I couldn't look away, even if I wanted to at that point. My eyes never left his as I made my way to the seat, exactly one foot away. I didn't want to be rude, so I introduced myself to him.

"H-hi, I'm Malia S-Sanchez," I cursed myself internally, for sounding like a nervous groupie meeting her favorite rock band. I smiled at him but he didn't say anything back; just stared at my lips. "Um, never mind then." I said, turning away from him and feeling embarrassed. His next words hit me like a linebacker.

"Oh, I'm sorry it's just...your voice, I actually heard you..." he trailed off in shock. I turned back to look at him like he must have sipped a little something before class. Looking at my very confused expression, he shook his head and let a soft chuckle escape his pale pink lips. I lost focus for a second, staring at them. "I'm deaf." My eyes widened and I looked at him in shock.

"How is that possible?" I mentally slapped myself.

Of course it's possible, you nitwit!

I scowled at the insults in my head and looked at him for a explanation.

"Well...you see, I'm deaf but I can hear a little bit. It all depends on peoples tones of voice. When most people learn that I'm death they speak really loud and it just sounds like fuzz. The only voices that I usually hear clearly are my mother and father..."His voice held well hidden anger when he said the word 'father' and if I wasn't so observant I wouldn't have noticed the resentment in his tone, he shook his head at whatever thought going through his head and his expression softened as he caught my eyes. "And now I guess you." He looked at me in wonder and I felt a strange sensation in my tummy.

"But how do you usually understand what people are saying? Do you know sign language?" It was really weird, but I was fascinated by this. I know, I'm a complete freak. He shook his head again.

"No, I always got bored and pretty restless trying to learn all that. But that was okay because I learned that I had gift -well a replacement for my hearing anyway." He amended. "I can see extremely far away, more like 60/60 vision." He laughed at his own joke. "I read lips. No matter how off the persons tone is," As he said this his gaze focused intently on my lips and they parted on their own, without my permission. "The lips never lie..." His hypnotic eyes met mine for a split second, before bewilderment took over as realization came to me about what he was really saying.

He read Carmen's lips!

>>>>FF 2hr. 15mins>>>>

My heart was stuck in my stomach as I mulled over everything that Milo told me. It may not really seem like a big deal but believe me. It was.

Carmen was facing me and I had my back to the way we came, I didn't want another stare off with the new guy...

I palmed my forward and let out a audible screech, causing bystanders that were packing up to go home, to look at me like I was a chipmunk on steroids. I ignored them. I didn't give a fuck what they thought about me. Only Milo.

And he had heard everything that Carmen said to me..well read everything. And I'm pretty sure it wasn't too hard to fill in the gaps and put together my responses. Ugh!

After trigonometry I had spent my whole chemistry class thinking about it. Of course, I told Carmen my theory but she was no help. Before I knew it the dismissal bell had rang and everyone was filing out of class.

Oh my god, Carmen!" I whisper-yelled when I sat down next to her. Class had already started and I was trying my hardest not to disturb Mr. Knotting. She looked at me with wide eyes and a bit of panic rested below the surface, but not too far below that I didn't notice.

"Malia, what's wrong?" Her voice had risen high enough to catch Mr. Knotting's attention and he sent us a warning glance making our classmates snicker. She rolled her eyes and focused one me. "Did something happen?"

I could see the worry. "Yes, but no, yes b-but..." She put her hand over mines and gave me a look of reassurance, letting me know that it was okay to take my time. I took a big breath of air letting it tickle my lungs, I sat up straight and looked towards the front of the class so we wouldn't alert the teacher to our inattentiveness. "It's not life threatening or anything." I seen her posture relax and I realized that my sudden outburst must have taken a toll on her.

"Well what is 'it' exactly?" She asked, raising her eyebrows.

"I-it's Milo." I had said, hesitating a bit. Her eyebrows went higher, almost looking as if they were going to intercede with her hairline. And from there I told her everything. She let out a loud huff and a few of the closer students looked at us curiously. But when Carmen gave each of them a hostile glare, they didn't look back at us for the rest of the period.

"You seriously had me worked up over this bullshit?" Her expression was incredulous and I didn't dare speak, I didn't want her to make a scene in front of everybody. "Even if he did see what I was saying -which for the record I don't think he can see all the way across the quad- it wouldn't really matter because I didn't say anything that would give him some crazy notion that you're madly in love with him. The worst I said was that you had your first crush. Whoopty fucking doo." Her eyes rolled towards the ceiling and I had the urge to wish for them to get stuck.

My palms were tangling a bit and I opened up my hand, realizing that I had my hands balled into a fist so tight that my nails dug into my palm. Thank God, I didn't draw blood. We spent the rest of the class in silence, ignoring each other. Though when we were gathering our stuff to leave she mumbled some lame excuse about having to stay after to ask Mr. Knotting about the homework, and that I could leave without her.

Gladly. I had thought. I wasn't in the mood for her attitude. That was one of the reasons I was Carmen only close friend. She could be a complete and total bitch at times which pissed me off to no end. I made my way to my locker and got my stuff in a daze. It was only when a hand landed on my shoulder did I finally come out of it. I jumped a inch and looked up. I grimaced.

"I'm sorry for snapping like that." Carmen apologized. It was sincere enough but I was still pissed off. My shoulders did drop a little though, and I wasn't as stiff. "Do you forgive me?" I thought about it for a sec. I guess I could see her point of view in a sense. I did just coming running in the classroom like a maniac and it wasn't like it was a emergency or anything. I smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, I forgive you, cheetah." She grinned at her given nickname, me being the one that gave it to her because of her obsession with the feline and the Cheetah Girl movies. It sorta stuck after a while. We hugged and I knew we were good again.

What better place to make up? I thought. This was the place that I first met Carmen back in ninth grade year. Oh the coincidence of having lockers in the same vicinity this year. When I first met her I judged her by her looks like everyone does on their first day of high school. She's absolutely gorgeous.. I thought enviously. That was my first design of her. But me not being afraid of anyone I talked to her anyway. I needed to find my classes, and maybe this girl could help me. Turned out we had every class together except for one and that's how we became inseparable.

She got her stuff together and we walked to the front of the school to wait for my car. I don't drive yet but my mother was so paranoid about me taking the subway, that she got me my own personal driver until I got my license. I already had a car, a deep blue Yukon Denali. It was so dark it almost looked black. And since I couldn't drive it right now, my chauffeur drove me everywhere I wanted to go. We waited on a grassy hill for Bentley. Yes, that's his actual name. I seen him pulling around the loop and i had to admit that my baby was fabulous. So shiny and drove smooth as butter. Carmen and I would usually go back to my house to do our homework and gossip and then her dad's chauffeur would pick her up and take her home. I would go pick her up in the morning and then we'd stick to our usual schedule.

Bentley, was waiting by the back and had the door open for us to climb in. He was quite handsome. Only twenty-three, but I never really payed attention. He had shiny dark brown hair that was wild and had that sexy just-rolled-out-of-bed-look. I mean...if you like that sorta thing. A olive skinned tone that drew your eyes, making women take double looks, so I've noticed, a toned body; you could see that through the long sleeved v-neck he had on, and drowning brown eyes. He was a good guy.

I noticed behind him, Milo. I would have thought that his mother picked him up from school but I was mistaken because he was behind the wheel of a silver Pontiac Solstice. The top was down. He's a junior... I don't know why I assumed he was a sophomore like me. Only a handful of us were in trigonometry, and a select few of freshmen. It's an advanced class. Carmen had technology third while I had gym, all grades were conjoined in those classes. I made myself look away from him as I jumped inside the truck. But before I made the leap I couldn't help myself, I looked up and caught his gaze yet again. His bluish-green eyes sending me into a daze. It was only when Carmen started yapping that I got in all the way and closed the door.

Of course thoughts were filled of this guy. I wanted to know what it was that made me so in-tuned with him. Why now? I know I didn't have a sudden interest in being the new 'class slut,' because he's the only guy I looked at that way. I knew I was attracted to him, no doubt. I didn't really know if I liked him because I didn't even know him.

I guess, only time shall tell.