I Found Myself Falling...Not For the Right Thing Either

“Let’s get that party girl out here.” James cheered, his drunken side taking over. I laughed as he smiled at me crookedly. He was a funny drunk, really. He was one of those harmless, nice drunks.

“I’m good.” I told him, taking a sip from my soda. Yeah, I’m a downer that doesn’t drink even on New Year’s Eve. Sorry, but that’s me.

James pouted, but ended up leaving me for a hot guy that walked by us. I didn’t know whose house we were actually at, but it was a fun party that was going on; mostly with kids from our school. I had seen a few guys and girls that had graduated last year, but had friends that were a year younger so they came to crash a high school party. Losers, right?

“Rae Ann!” I groaned. What was up with people and using my middle name lately?

“What?” I whined, looking up to see Katie standing over me, frowning.

“Why aren’t you dancing? Last party we couldn’t get you to stop dancing!” She exclaimed, almost spilling her glass of whatever she was drinking as she threw her arms up in her exclamation.

“Not really in the mood.” I told her, looking down to see the sparkling heart that lay against my chest.

“Oh, come on!” I couldn’t even get a chance to object for she dropped her drink on the nearest table and grabbed my hand, dragging me to where everyone was dancing.

Last party I was trying my hardest to forget about Craig who made a guest appearance and ‘accidentally’ spilled his drink on me. I was so pissed off, but I didn’t want to explode in front of everyone so Liz had suggested that I go and dance with her. Surprisingly it actually worked. I had forgotten about the whole drink spilling moment and was having fun dancing with all of my friends.

Just as Katie had let go of my wrist Last Friday Night by Katy Perry blasted through the speakers. The crowd of teens dancing actually cheered. I laughed as I noticed James dancing against the guy he had ran off and followed.

“Come on, loosen up Rae!” Katie screamed over the music. I groaned. She wasn’t going to just give up, was she?

She yanked on my hand, hard, and then continued dancing. I bit my lip. It was New Year’s Eve and this was a party. I mean I hadn’t even seen Craig. I shouldn’t be worrying, about him catching me wearing his necklace, right? Even if he did come in I’m sure he wouldn’t see me in the mix of teens dancing in the house.

The chorus of the song came on and the dancing literally got faster. I had never seen so many highschoolers dancing at one time, not even at prom. It was crazy! Who would’ve thought that the whole school would show up for one party?

Whose house was this again?

Everyone started singing along, yelling T.G.I.F. along with the song. I laughed so hard. It wasn’t even Friday night! I suddenly felt someone press against me and when I turned I saw Ian wink. I laughed, rolling my eyes as he sort of grinded against me.

“You’re an idiot!” I yelled to him over the music. He only shrugged.

“Who cares? It’s a party!” He was right. I was standing here, having no fun when this party was going on like there was no tomorrow. All because I thought that Craig would catch me wearing some silly necklace… Okay, it wasn’t silly, it was beautiful, but it was just one necklace! Who gave a shit if I was wearing it? It matched my earrings and James wanted me to wear it, not Craig.

The chorus came around again and this time I started moving my hips along with Ian’s, who was still behind me, smirking. I pushed him back a little bit and yelled along with the rest of the crowd.

“I still have a boyfriend.” I told him, laughing at his pout.

“Whose not here.” He reminded me. I rolled my eyes at him again and continued to dance. Ian didn’t dance as close to me after that though, the alcohol must’ve let him register that it was me he was dancing next to who was the girlfriend of one of his best friends.

I was actually enjoying myself as the next songs played. I hadn’t even noticed that James went off to go make-out with the guy he was with and that Katie was grinding with my brother. Odd? Yes, I know, but it was a party. Everyone did at least one this they would regret later on at parties.

One time I had grinded with Jared for a few songs and made him get a boner. I helped him hide from everyone by dancing in front of him until he could get close enough to the bathroom. We were both embarrassed as hell, but it was forgotten the next day and never talked about again, unless we were laughing at the memory.

Take It Off by Ke$ha was the next song to blast through the whole house and get danced to and of course, there was that one kid who was so drunk that they had to do what the song was saying.

I didn’t recognize the girl at first because I was so into dancing, but then I caught a glimpse of the blonde hair and the skimpy outfit and knew right away who it was. The guys were cheering all around and she just kept going. She started with her short jacket, leaving her in shorts and a tank-top. I knew I was wearing a short dress, but at least I kept a cardi on and didn’t go stripping until I had nothing else.

Liz continued, next going for the hem of her tank-top. It actually hurt to see her doing this. We had both gotten drunk at one party our freshman year in highschool, that’s why I really don’t drink much anymore, the next day we both woke up and realized we were trashed and did some crazy shit, but this was low, even for her new self.

I knew we weren’t friends anymore, but I just wanted to run over to the table she was dancing on and pull her off of it and force her jacket and tank-top back over her head before she could strip to just her bra and undies.

Luckily, someone was thinking the same thing. It just wasn’t the person I was thinking of. Craig suddenly jumped onto the table and covered her from everyone’s view. The guys that were watching booed Craig, but I actually smiled. At least he cared about his girlfriend enough to save her from absolute destruction.

He yanked her tank-top over her head even after she cursed him out and tried to take it off again, but he held it down for her own sake. Before she could do it again, he pulled her off of the table and away from the crowd. Everyone ignored their little disagreement and continued dancing, but I just couldn’t let it go.

I started walking away, pushing through the dancing teens until I got close enough to Craig and Liz to hear what they were saying.

“Let go of me!” Liz cried, yanking her arm back to her side. You could see that she was just as angry as Craig now.

“What the hell are you doing?” He yelled at her, his face fuming.

“Having some fun since you” She said, jabbing a finger into his chest, “wouldn’t dance with me.” She informed him, sticking out her tongue and crossing her arms over her chest.

Why wouldn’t Craig dance with her? He was usually the one with all the girls around him when parties were going on. I barely saw anyone around him; I hadn’t even noticed he was here until he pulled Liz out from her stripping scene!

“Well, I’m sorry I don’t want to go dancing around like some whore with every guy I see.” He hissed. Liz’s jaw fell open and she did what I didn’t expect to see.

Her arm lifted and her hand slammed against Craig’s cheek, pretty hard too. I knew Liz and she was a tough girl. You did not want a punch from her, let alone a slap. This was Craig’s turn for his jaw to drop.

“That’s for calling me a whore you asshole.” She spat at him.

It took me a bit to process what was actually going on. I would’ve thought that the positions would’ve been switched and Liz would be the one pulling Craig away from girls all around and arguing. She would still be the one to slap him, but it was totally turned around.

Craig was never the one to be yelling at someone because they were doing something stupid. It was always him getting yelled at. I had seen it plenty of times before, but this time was different. He had never had a girlfriend to do it with either.

“You need to stop stripping for those guys Liz, you’re with me.” He told her, narrowing her eyes. She rolled hers, not giving a shit.

“I’m only with you because you’re you. If you weren’t basically head of this school, I would’ve dumped your ass a long time ago.” She hissed at him in return.

And bam, there it was. The real reason she was doing what she was doing. Liz had changed the second she started dating him and this was just another one to add to the pile. She wanted to have power. It was written all over her face ever since she was titled Queen Bee. As stupid as it sounded, nobody had really been Queen Bee at our school for the whole purpose of Craig not dating anyone for more than a day or so. Liz just wanted the title, to be the first, to have the posse around her, to have the gossip revolved around her.

She did it all for herself.

“Then fuck it, we’re over.” Something flashed in her eyes as Craig pushed passed her, heading towards the front door. I knew that look, but she tried hard to cover it up by yelling after him.

“We’re over! You know that, through!” Everyone had actually stopped by this point to see what was going on, but not long enough to notice that it was actually Craig that had said it first.

A few gasps left the crowd as eyes widened. Craig was the one to be dumped? I wanted to laugh. As if, but I couldn’t. My mind was running like crazy and it made me do something I really didn’t want to do, but since nobody else was going to do it, I stepped forward.

I didn’t do it to comfort Liz, hell no. She brought it on herself. She wanted this so she got it. I walked past her, not bothering to look back as I did so and I went after him, Craig. I had no clue why, but I did. He looked pissed off and angry, but I couldn’t help, but notice the hurt that covered his eyes, that laced his last words before he stormed out of the house.

I walked fast enough to catch him walking down the sidewalk, rather fast might I add, until he got to his car. It was dark out and freezing cold, but I ignored it and continued following him. He let out a few grunts of frustration before slamming his fist into his car. I didn’t know which one looked worse when he was finished… his bleeding knuckles or the huge dent in his car?

Either way, I rushed over and grabbed his hand before he could do it again. He whipped around, jumping the slightest bit whether because my hands were so cold or because he hadn’t realized anyone was following him, but he just stared at me. I ignored his hard gaze and stared at his knuckles. They were beaten up pretty badly.

“You- we should, um, get this cleaned up.” I stumbled, not finding the right words to come out of my lips. He only nodded in response as I opened the passenger door to his car and nudged him to get in. I headed over to the driver’s side and got in the car. He handed me his keys and I put them into the ignition, revving the car to life.

The whole car ride was quiet. Neither of us said a word. Craig stared out the side window and I watched the snow covered roads as we drove. I didn’t know whose house to go to, but realizing that Craig was drunk by the smell of his breath when I was looking at his hand, I drove us to his house.

When we pulled in the driveway and I turned off the car neither of us moved. Again, we sat in silence for a few minutes until he broke it.

“You didn’t have to drive me home.” He muttered, looking down at his bloody hand.

“Yes I did.” I told him, opening up my side door. He did the same and we trudged up to his front door. Of course Mr. and Mrs. Moore weren’t home and neither was Henry, but luckily Craig had a spare key that he opened the door with.

I just followed him inside, taking off my snow covered heels and letting the cold tile of their bathroom take over my body. I really hadn’t realized that I was shivering like crazy until then. I grabbed Craig and pulled him in behind me, instruction him to sit on the counter.

He did as told as I rummaged through the Moore’s cabinets looking for things to clean Craig’s hand with. When I found a bottle of peroxide and some bandage wrap, I pulled them out and shut the cabinet. Still without speaking, I ran his hand under the warm water, washing the dried blood away.

Afterwards I grabbed the bottle of peroxide and a tissue. I poured the liquid onto the tissue and then lightly dabbed it against his scratched up hand. Craig hissed at the pain that it had made, but I held his hand in place.

“Damn that hurts.” He grumbled, clenching his other hand to deal with the stinging sensation that the liquid had created.

“Yeah, but at least it helps your cuts not get infected.” I murmured, dabbing the last few cuts on his knuckles before throwing the tissue away in the garbage.

“Thanks.” Craig said after a few seconds of silence. I only nodded in return, grabbing the bandage wraps and started to wrap them around his bruising knuckles. I continued to wrap them until I felt was good and then ripped off the end. I grabbed one of those clips to hold the bandages in place and clipped it. I was actually satisfied with my work when I was done. I had cleaned him up pretty well.

Craig pulled back his hand and examined it for his own pleasure and when he was down mumbled another thanks.

“No problem.” I told him, stepping back so he could get off the counter. When he did I looked up at his face for the first time since we got to his house. I could still see the same emotion in his eyes, but just a bit less. “Do you want to talk about it?” I asked, not really wanting to, but it was the nice thing to do. Craig shook his head.

“Not really. We’re over, it’s done.” I smirked.

“So Craig was dumped?” I joked, trying to lighten the mood… of course, I failed. He narrowed his eyes at me and then groaned loudly.

“Great, now everyone will think that.” My smirk fell and I instantly took it back.

“I was joking; I know that you broke up with her!” Geez Rae, this guy was already in pain and you just had to add to it, didn’t you? It was Craig’s turn to smirk.

“I know. I saw you follow us when I dragged her off of her stripping table.” I felt a blush creep up onto my cheeks. Great, now I look like an idiot who wanted to see the juicy gossip.

“Oh.” That was all I could manage as I looked down at me feet, embarrassed. He chuckled softly, pushing me out of the bathroom and turning off the light behind us. He continued to lead me down the hall and up the stairs.

“I see you got my present.” That made my cheeks redder than they have ever been in my life, I swear!

“James saw it and wanted me to wear it!” I defended. Now I probably looked like some obsessed girl, thanks James, thanks.

“Well, I’m glad some girl enjoyed it.” He said as he walked into his room, turning on the light and heading to his closet. I frowned.

“James isn’t a girl, you jerk and I think it’s beautiful.” Before I could focus on the words that came out of my mouth Craig smirked.

Dammit Rae!

“I’m glad you like it.” Was all he said as he rummaged through his closet, pulling out a hoodie and a pair of sweat pants. He then closed his closet and handed me both. I raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“Why are you handing me your clothes?” I asked. He shrugged.

“You looked cold. Your hands were like ice when you were bandaging me up.” He stated, falling back onto his bed.

“Oh.” Again I sounded like an idiot, but I was cold. I picked up the sweatshirt from my hands and threw it over my head. Instantly warmth hit my body alone with Craig’s amazing scent.

Did I just say his amazing scent? Was I an idiot? I meant… Aw screw it. He smelled amazing! Like vanilla and strawberries. Come to think about it, he tasted like them too.

“Thanks.” I said, handing him the sweat pants. “I’ll just wear the hoodie.” He nodded and grabbed the hoodie from my hands, our fingers brushing against each other. It sent a shock through my body. He then patted the spot next to him on his bed. Doing as he offered, I walked over and sat on the comfy bed.

I really hadn’t been in Craig’s room since we were kids, but it didn’t really change. He still had the walls painted blue and black and the hardwood floor covered by a navy blue carpet. It was probably the softest carpet I had ever felt. I at least expected posters of girls or something, he was a player after all, but none were about.

His favorite band, Three Days Grace, was on a poster behind his door, but other than that it was the same as I remembered. Funny how some things never changed.

“Thanks again, really. I just lost it and it probably would’ve been worse if you didn’t come and stop me.” I looked up and stared into his eyes; the very same eyes that I had looked in just a few nights ago before we had kissed like crazy.

“It’s really no problem.” I finally got out, my cheeks heating up slightly. His lips twitched a bit, wanting to go into a smile, but instead ended up being a smirk.

“So you heard our whole fight?” He asked. I nodded.

“Every word.” I was actually surprised that I had listened in the whole time. “I didn’t think you deserved that.” I said picking my hand up and pressing it against the cheek that Liz had slapped. “You were only looking out for her.” I told him as I smiled weakly.

“Yeah, well I guess she wasn’t who she really was.” He mumbled, our eyes locking and not letting go. He leaned in and I could smell his scent mixed with the fading alcohol in his system. Our eyes never left each others as our lips brushed together.

His lips were amazing and I couldn’t believe they had touched mine for the third time this year, but as soon as I closed my eyes Kent’s face flashed across my vision and I pulled back suddenly, my eyes snapping open.

“Oh God…” I breathed, looking up at Craig who had a confused expression on his face.

“Are you okay?” He asked, reaching out to touch my cheek with his hand. I flinched, pulling my hand from his cheek.

“We can’t do this.” I told him. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. Craig’s mouth opened as if he was going to say something, but I cut him off. “I have to go.” I mumbled, jumping from his bed and heading for the stairs. I could hear his footsteps behind me, but neither of us said anything as I made my way down the stairs, put on my shoes and went out the door.

A tear slipped down my cheek. How could I be so stupid and do this to Kent? I was so confused. My mind wanted Kent, but my body wanted Craig. I wanted so badly to rush back inside his house and kiss him like the world was going to end, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t and shouldn’t have done any of it. I was with Kent, not Craig and he was probably just confused with everything going on with Liz tonight and me helping him out.

I sighed heavily, finally realizing that I had driven Craig’s car to get here and I had driven with James to the party which he was probably still at.

I looked down the street and saw that it had stopped snowing, but there was enough to cover the ground in a good layer. I had no way to get home other than by foot, or in my case heels. Why was it I always ended up outside in the snow with heels on? It always happened with Craig too.

I took in a few breaths, trying to calm my brain down before taking my first steps towards my house. It was going to be a long walk and it was New Years Eve.

As I passed a house I could see the ball dropping in the window on the TV. The family was cheering like crazy as it hit zero and confetti blasted across the screen.

Happy New Years to me…