I Found Myself Falling...Not For the Right Thing Either

“I’ll see you guys later.” I waved to Katie and James, leaving them besides Katie’s locker. They both waved to me and then continued on with their conversation. There was something about today that made me feel bubbly. I didn’t know if it was the fact that we had a long weekend or the fact that I was dating-

Craig.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I stopped at the voice and turned to see him leaning against a locker.

It’d been officially one week since we started dating. I don’t know if you can call it official since we were the only two to know about it, but it sure as hell felt amazing when we did get chances to be together.

“I’m going to class.” I mumbled, looking down so my hair would fall in front of my face. People were starting to stare in our direction. We never talked during school and ever since they saw the two of us at that party the one night people were watching us skeptically.

“Nope, you’re not.” My head snapped up so I could look at Craig full on.

“What are you talking about?!” I questioned. The bell was going to ring any second and I was most likely not going to make it to class on time if we didn’t stop talking soon.

“Sorry buddy, but you don’t control me.” I informed him. He reached for me, grabbing my elbow slightly and pulling me against him.

“I’ve got an interview with a scout tonight and another on Friday so unless you don’t want to see me this week… you’re coming with me,” was all he said, getting a little closer than usual in school to whisper the rest, “so meet me in the band hall as soon as the bell rings.” He pulled away, but not without kissing my cheek softly first.

I frowned slightly. That wasn’t a very fair option, but when his lips brushed against my cheek for that mere second I was in his power. I have no clue how he does this to me, but whenever he kisses me I’m flying on sky nine.

“The bell’s going to ring.” I mumbled, taking a few steps back so that we weren’t close enough to be suspicious to others.

“Then skip class.”

With that he pushed himself off of the locker he was leaning against and started down the hall towards the science wing.

My lips pursed. He had said the band room and yet he was headed in the total opposite direction. He wasn’t making a fool out of me, was he?

I laughed silently to myself. Craig wouldn’t do that to me, no matter what anymore. So, I decided to hide in the bathroom until a few minutes would pass.

A few girls exited the bathroom, giggling a bit. I recognized them, but they weren’t the type I hung around with. A red headed girl smirked when she saw me, but I just rolled my eyes and continued into the bathroom just as the bell rang. This gave me just a few more minutes to wait. Craig was obviously going to take a bit getting there since he went the total opposite way.

I decided to check myself over. I know I sound pathetic, but I hated looking bad in school especially when I had a guy to impress. I dressed simply in a bright yellow cardigan and a black tank top with a pair of light blue skinny jeans. It was a simple outfit, but it looked cute.

I pulled back my bangs to see if I liked them back or forward when I heard a cry. I instantly jumped and turned around, but nobody was there. I slowly turned back to the mirror I was looking in before thinking of how I had probably waited long enough since the bell had rung when I heard a sob.

“Hello?”

There was no answer, but I heard another sob and it was coming from the stalls.

I bit my lip debating on whether to go and find Craig or find out who was crying in the bathroom. I could just think of how long we could make out in the abandoned hall, but too bad my good instincts kicked in and I walked towards a closed stall.

“Is anyone in here?” I asked.

Silence…

I bent down to look for feet underneath the stalls to see if anyone was in these stalls and when I heard a quiet little sniffle, my assumptions were true. There was definitely someone in the stall in front of me with the door closed.

I reached out my hand, rubbing it against the metal of the mint green stall, thinking of what to say. I knew just a ‘how are you going?’ wouldn’t work because obviously they weren’t doing alright. A ‘what’s going on?’ just wouldn’t do the job either. Finding that ‘are you alright?’ would be the most reasonable question to ask I pushed lightly on the door.

My mouth opened, ready to say the words I had planned, as I saw a blonde haired girl sobbing on the toilet. Her hair fell messily over her legs as she leaned her head against her knees.

My heart went out for the girl, it really did. She looked terrible. I cleared my throat ready to speak, but when the girl looked up and I saw her familiar blue eyes my mouth went dry.

“Rae?” She shakily asked. All I could do was nod as I looked into her blood shot eyes. ‘Are you alright?’ was beyond question now. She wasn’t alright. Her clothes alone showed me she wasn’t, the way her sweat pants were rolled up and soaking with tears, but her red, swollen eyes along with her running makeup and knotted hair screamed ‘I’m not alright’ to the point where I knelt down beside her and grabbed her hand.

“Liz… what happened?” Her lips were shaking from her erratic breathing patterns as she tried to answer me.

“I collapsed. I-I just can’t do it. I lost… lost everything.” She sobbed, letting her head fall back against her tear covered knees.

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh you know what, Rae. Don’t act stupid. Everyone knows!”

I sighed, “Hun, you’re going to have to give me better because I have no clue what you’re talking about.” How was I supposed to help her if I didn’t know what she was talking about?

She slowly lifted her head, letting me see the vulnerable side I had seen so many times in years past after all of the things we both went through. I didn’t want to feel bad after everything she did and said, but looking at her my heart broke.

“I’m surprised you haven’t heard. Everyone’s talking about it.” When I didn’t answer her she sighed, continuing. “I lost everyone. No one wants to be my friend anymore. I messed it all up. Nobody wants to talk to me! Nobody even wants to look at me. They treat me like I’m a freaking murderer the way they give me evil looks. I hear them talking about me behind my back and the way they act when I’m near. I hate it!”

Her hands no clenched tightly against her skin making it go red and her knuckles go white. A few more tears softly dripped down her cheeks as she sniffled, holding most of what she wanted to let out, back.

“I want everything to go back the way it was. The way it was at the beginning of the school year when it was me… you and I.” She finished, her hands loosening their grip on her legs. “I miss having someone I can really trust with the things I say and do. I miss those girls’ nights where I can look like shit and do nothing, but we still have a hell of a good time.”

I reached up and softly wiped the tears from her cheeks, the kind gesture making her smile weakly.

“Trust me, I miss those times too.” I admitted letting her eyes shine with hope, even though the tears. “You’ve got to stop crying though. It’s not going to help anything.

Liz nodded slowly, bringing up her own and this time to wipe her tears away, as she said, “I want to just undo everything and start over.” This made me smile. It was what I wanted.

“I don’t know if we can do that. Especially with everything you’ve done and said…”

She bit her lip and looked down as she thought about everything she had done to not only me, but Katie and James along with others as well.

“I did some bad things, didn’t I?” I nodded as she looked over at me.

“I know Katie and James wouldn’t be as willing to let you back into their lives.” I explained to her.

“I know... but would you?”

The question caught me off guard. Would I? She punched me, ignored me, gave me dirty looks, talked about me behind my back, got a whole group of new friends and tormented others along with messing things up crazily with Craig… yet here I was. I was crouching on the floor of a bathroom stall, wiping away her tears and comforting her through her sobs and cries.

Before I could think of my answer the word left my lips, “Maybe.” She looked down once again.

“It’s better than a no.” She croaked. I set my hand on her shoulder, squeezing it lightly.

“A maybe doesn’t mean we’ll never be friends again. It just means not right away, it’ll take a bit, maybe not as long as it will be for Katie and James, but it’s not a never.” Her chapped lips pulled back, letting her teeth show. It overpowered her sloppy and heartbroken appearance making a smile appear on my lips as well.

“I’ll take it.” She said, running a hand through her blonde tangles.

The real question I’d gone over in my mind for these past few months came to the surface and spilled from me lips. “Can I just ask why you did it all?”

“I honestly don’t know other than I wanted it all. I wanted the group of friends, the beauty, and the guy. Craig had an interest in me so I felt pretty. Those lead to other guys noticing me and then the girls wanting to be friends with me. I just got caught up in it all. I wanted to be the girl in the movies who’s got it all.” I frowned when Liz rolled her eyes and made a disgusted face. “They just used me to get those guys and then turned on me. They weren’t real and neither was I.”

As much as I wanted to ask her more I didn’t think she could handle talking more about it so I stood up and reached out my hand for her to grab. She didn’t even hesitate to grip my hand and let me pull her up.

“Thanks.” Giving her a quick hug I led her out of the stall and in front of the mirrors, letting her see her own appearance.

“It was nothing, but you better go home for the rest of the day. I’m sorry to say, but you don’t look the best right now.” A light laugh graced my ears.

“Thanks Rae and I mean it, for everything.” I nodded, letting her pull me in for another hug.

“Don’t worry about it. I was just stalling anyways.”

“Stalling for what?” She asked as we both pulled away. I internally kicked myself for saying what I did and tried to come up with a cover-up.

“I don’t like English much, you should know that.” She pulled her hair back into a messy bun before laughing a bit.

“You’re right, I forgot. I’ll see you tomorrow?” I shook my head ‘yes’ and followed her out of the bathroom.

I watched as she walked down the hall, pulling her sweatpants down and back to normal all the while she wiped her tears and make-up smudges away. I couldn’t help, but think of how she was feelings, what she had gone through, but I just couldn’t. I hadn’t been in that predicament before. I wouldn’t know how to deal with it or ask for my friends back.

All I knew was that Liz was strong.

Smiling to myself as I realized what I had done, who I had helped out, I walked down towards my classroom. Once I found the door I opened it and walked it explaining to the teacher how I had walked my friend to the nurse and waited to see if she was alright before heading to class. They warned me to have the nurse take care of it next time and come to class quickly after as I took my usually seat totally forgetting that I had left Craig waiting by himself in the band hallway, waiting for me.