I Found Myself Falling...Not For the Right Thing Either

“You little whore!” Katie yelled, laughing as she rolled over and shoved her hand into the bowl of popcorn we had made.

“Hey! It’s not like I meant for it to happen!” I told her, defending myself. I did same as her and dropped my hand into the plastic bowl. We had decided on a bowl instead of just two separate bags because we’d be able to access it better.

“But it happened and you were still with Kent.” She told me, placing a few kernels into her mouth, chewing on them softly.

“I know, and I feel bad for that.” I told her honestly, letting my hand close around the puff balls in between my fingers. I made sure I was careful enough not to crush any of the buttery goodness that lay in my palm.

“So, did he find out about that?” I shrugged.

“Don’t think so, not yet at least. I’ve got to tell him sometime, but it kind of feels like he still likes me.” I told Katie, popping some pieces of popcorn into my mouth. As I chewed I remembered how this week had been different than the ones past.

Kent had offered to walk me to class a few times and I had to decline. He’d sit by me in lunch and even call me, wanting to hang out. I mean we did break up rather quickly, not getting as much closure as couples usually do when they mutually break-up.

“Was it a mutual break-up?” Katie asked, interrupting my thoughts. I bit my lip as I thought about it.

Sighing I shook my head. “I guess not. I mean it was mostly me. I just think that Kent wanted to make me happy, but I don’t think he is.” Katie nodded, understanding where I was coming from.

“That’s how it was with Ben.”

“You mean Brad?” I questioned, picking up the remote for the television and turning the volume up a bit.

“No. I already told you about me and Brad breaking up. Ben and I were after Brad and before Zac.” My jaw dropped, a few popcorn pieces falling from my hand and mouth. “Ew, Rae!”

“Zac?”

Katie nodded as if nothing was wrong, then she proceeded to watch the movie.

How come I had no idea about how many guys she was with?

“Because you were so caught up in your hunky dory boy-friend.” My eyes cast down on her as she sprawled out on the floor.

“Wha-”

“You say a lot of stuff out loud, Rae. You should probably get that checked out or something.” My lips curled into a scowl as I stared at her, my cheeks reddening a bit, embarrassed about saying that out loud and the fact that I was so caught up with Craig that I hadn’t really asked what Katie was doing or who she was with.

“Was Zac before or after New Years?” I wondered, looking down at Katie.

“Oh, he was before. I think around Thanksgiving or something… can’t really remember. New Years was a totally different story.” She said, starting to get quieter as she made her way towards the end of her comment.

Immediately, gross images filled my head and I shook the thoughts out, trying to find something else to think about.

“I think we should talk about something else. That night wasn’t the greatest memory I have.” I informed her, remembering that night when I came home and when I woke up the next morning, finding her and my brother walking out of his room together.

“Oh that was just the start.” She mumbled between bits of popcorn. My hands slammed up against my ears.

“Stop it!” I yelled at her, shaking my head. Thankfully she chose to laugh instead of continue on with her disgusting encounters with my brother. I removed my hands from my ears when she told me she’d stop.

Not wishing to edge her on, I decided to focus on the movie playing in front of us. It was a sleepover so of course a chick flick was playing. One of my favorites too, the Notebook. I’d seen it so many times I could probably do a one woman show, saying every line by myself, word for word.

“Not to really push into the subject too much, but have you and Craig, well… you know.” My eyes dropped to Katie who casually asked the question she just did without breaking eye contact with the TV screen. When I didn’t answer she looked up at me. “Well, have you?”

I opened my mouth, ready to say something, but no words came up so I decided to close it, my face definitely changing in color as it heated up.

“Oh my god, you have, haven’t you?!” Katie’s face lit up as she sat up rather quickly, leaning towards me in astonishment. “My little Rae, growing up!”

Before she could go any further I stopped her.

“No! No, we haven’t done anything like that!” My cheeks were flaming, her lips curving upward even more.

“You haven’t hit that piece of meat yet?”

I laughed a bit at that one before replying with her words, “No. I haven’t ‘hit that piece of meat yet’.”

She sighed, falling back down onto the floor.

“Dang it Rae! I really thought we’d have something to talk about. You know, share stories and such.” I felt my throat contract and I instantly told her to stop where she was going.

“I do not and let me repeat, do NOT want to hear stories about you and my brother.” Her laughter filled my ears once again.

“Oh don’t worry. Those ones will be kept secret.” She added a little wink at the end which had me wanting to smack her, but before I could, the doorbell rang.

We both looked at each other.

Katie’s eyebrows scrunched, asking, “Did you invite someone over?”

I answered her by shaking my head. “My parents got home like an hour ago just after Jake had left to go over to Ian’s and I’m pretty sure if it were him, he’d just come in.” She nodded, agreeing with me which just left me more confused.

Who was at our door?

“Rae, can you get that? Your father and I are getting ready to go out with the Moore’s soon!” My mother’s voice came down the stairs.

“Sure!” I yelled back to her, handing Katie the almost empty bowl of popcorn as I stood up.

“I’ll pause the movie!” Katie told me as I headed towards the front door, our bell ringing once again.

I knew it wasn’t Craig or Kent or anyone like that since well, they’d probably just walk in and since Katie and Kent were the only two who knew about Craig and I, he wouldn’t come over after the day Katie and I just had. So, I was left hoping it was someone who didn’t care how I dressed because at the moment I wasn’t in the prettiest attire.

So, instead of staring at the door and waiting for the third ring of the doorbell, I wrapped my hand around the knob and twisted my wrist slightly. The door opened with ease, but when I saw the blonde hair my stomach did a few flips.

“Hi Rae.”

“What are you doing here?” My question was abrupt, but I was really shocked.

“I kind of wanted to talk.”

“Right now? Couldn’t you have texted me or something?”

Liz’s expression fell as Katie called to me, “Who’s there, Rae?”

“Nobody!” I told Katie, turning back to Liz with pleading eyes. “I tried telling her and last time she went on a rant about how much she-” I cut myself off as Liz’s lips pulled even more downward. “What’s going on?” Tears welled up in her eyes and my expression fell along with hers. She looked about as big as the mess I had found her in in the bathroom the one day…

“It has finally gone through.” Liz told me through sniffles, rubbing her hand underneath her nose.

“What’s gone through?” I inquired. I hadn’t a clue to what she was talking about, but when a few tears leaked from her eyes, I couldn’t help, but invite her in. With Katie here or not, I was going to help Liz and find out what was going on with her.

“Rae?” I looked up towards Katie who had gotten up from where she was sitting on the ground. Her eyes shifted from me to Liz and then rather quickly to me again. “What the hell is she doing here?!” Liz’s tears continued as Katie’s face grew red with anger.

“I couldn’t leave her outside Katie. I don’t do that to friends.”

“Friends?! You’re friends with her again?! Do you not remember what she did to you, what she did to all of us?” I could tell Liz wasn’t just crying over what she had started to cry over and it kind of upset me.

“Yes Katie! I remember what she did and I forgave her. I forgave her for what she had done. She apologized and it didn’t happen right away, but I couldn’t just let years of friendship be thrown away over an attitude! We’ve worked it out.” Her expression didn’t change and neither did mine as I nudged her aside and walked Liz towards our living room couches.

“What’s going on down here Rae Ann?” My father and mother appeared at the stop of the stairs. Their faces were covered with concern. Both set of eyes ran over the situation, from me to Katie and then to Liz. When both laid eyes on Liz their expressions did the same as mine had.

“Is she okay?” My mother asked, stepping in front of my father and walking towards the living room.

“I don’t know.” I answer truthfully, forgetting about the argument with Katie and focusing my attention back to Liz.

“Honey, what’s going on?” My mom took the other side of Liz and sat down next to her, placing her hand upon her back and rubbing softly. “Tell us.” She persuaded. When Liz looked up my heart went out for her. She looked devastated so whatever it was, it was big.

“They didn’t even think to ask me how I felt about it all.” She mumbled, throwing her head back down into her hands. My eyebrows furrowed as I looked over at my mom.

“Ask you about what Liz? Please, tell us. We’re all here to help you with whatever it is that is going on.” My mother’s soft voice caused Liz to look up again, bringing her to point where she took a deep breath.

“They separated and it’s all my fault.”