I Hate You, Too

Freddie Benson had a lot of favourites. For example, his favourite electronic company was Pear. He lived for his PearPod. His favourite colour was blue, his favourite day was Wednesday because his mom worked the late shift and he got to watch what he wanted on the television and eat what he wanted. His favourite class was science, his favourite day was Christmas, and his favourite number was five.

Five was a very important number to Fredward, simply because he had five distinct memories of Sam Puckett. Five favourite memories of his Princess Puckett.

“Fredbag!” Fred looked towards the sound and spotted, the beautiful Carly Shay standing next to, the rude, aggressive, and pessimistic Sam Puckett.

“Hey Carly.” He smiled, looking at the girl he had spent hours admiring, the turned to the girl that had made fun of him for it and gave her a curt nod, “Sam.”

“Hey Freddie.” Said Carly, shutting her locker, “Guess who forgot to do her homework again?”

Carly threw a pointed look at her blond haired best friend.

“Hey, I was busy!” She shouted indignantly, throwing her half eaten rib into some kids open backpack as they walked by.

“What, shaving your mom's back?” Scoffed Freddie, attempting to make a joke.

“HEY! It's not her fault, Frednerd!” Sam took that moment to throw her fist into his right arm, and smiled with pleasure as he groaned in pain.

“Sam.” Hissed Carly, “Be nice.”

“Sorry Carls.” The feisty blonde replied, “The nub does something to me.”

Sam then swung her backpack over her should, being careful to purposefully hit Freddie with it as she walked by.

“Oh man!” Said Freddie realizing something.

“What?” Said Carly, raising her eyebrow in question.

“I have class with her next.” He moaned, stomping off angrily in the same direction Sam had. Carly smiled as he walked away, she loved her friends.

“Fredhead!” Sam said as he sat down in his assigned seat behind her, “Quick, give me your homework!”

“No Sam! I refused to be bullied-” Freddie didn't get a chance to finish because Sam had jumped out of her, seat sailed across his desk, and made a grab for his backpack.

“Sam! Wait, no don't! That's my-OW!” Freddie screamed and the class laughed, but as Ms. Briggs walked in the class went silent and all that was heard was Freddie's screams of protest.

“What is going on in here?” Screamed Briggs, trying in vain to pull Sam off of Freddie.

“Get her off of me!” Freddie cried.

Sam was straddling Freddie, pushing him down with one hand, while searching through his backpack with another. She finally pulled out the yellow sheet of paper Briggs had assigned for homework.

“I was just double checking my homework.” Said Sam, still on top of a struggling Freddie. She handed the sheet to Briggs and go off of Freddie.

“Samantha Puckett, doing homework?” Her face pulled into a scowl, “Yeah right!”

Briggs shoved the sheet back at Freddie and told Sam she had a detention tonight.

Sam rolled her eyes and gave Ms. Briggs the finger, then showed it to Freddie. Sam flopped back in her seat and pouted, this meant she failed the 'Homework' part of her report card, Freddie knew that.

“Um, Ms. Briggs?” Said Freddie, wondering what the heck he was doing, “That actually is Sam's homework. I took it to be funny.”

Sam nearly gave herself whiplash when she swung back to look at Freddie. He gave her a half smile, she stuck out her tongue, and then gave him a real, genuine, Sam Puckett grin.

His second favourite memory of Sam was a year after that, they were sixteen and in their Junior year and iCarly was as strong as ever.

The gang was in Carly's kitchen spoons in hand, watermelon at their mercy.

“Jesse doesn't even give me the time of day!” Whined Carly, smashing her spoon into the flesh of the fruit. “I flirt like there no tomorrow and BAM! Nothing.”

“Common Carls.” Said Sam, Freddie could tell by her tone that she was just as sick of hearing about Jesse as he was, “He probably is just, shy.”

“Easy for you too say!” Carly said, her voice bordering on hysteria.

“Oh man.” Groaned Sam, knowing where this conversation was headed.

“He wasn't so shy when he was asking you out!” Carly said, her spoon finally sailing from her hands and onto the floor.

The dynamics had changed as they had gotten older. Carly was thin and pretty, a girl you brought home to mom. Not the kind of girl high school boys were looking for. Sam was thin, with curves that had the male population of Ridgeway High fawning over her. She was the type of girl most boys wanted to hook up with. Sam was sexy, her aggressive personality just fuelled the hormone filled fire.

“Carly, he's not my type! We've been over this.” Sam said, standing from the table to flop down on the couch, Freddie was ashamed to admit that lately, he had been watching her every move. Hey, he was a sixteen year old boy, he couldn't help it.

“Yeah, come on Carly. It's not Sam's fault.” Freddie tried to reason, Carly had this resentment for Sam that wasn't good for their friendship.

“I know.” Carly said sadly, “I just, wish I was more like you.”

Sam looked up in surprise, “Me? That's a laugh, I always wanted to be more like you, Carls.”

The two girls laughed and hugged and Freddie knew that the brewing feud had been stomped on for now.

“But we still have a deal?” Asked Carly, shyly smiling at Sam, who had one leg draped over the couch, Freddie found his eyes wandering south. Sam snorted, and then nodded in the brunette's direction.

“What deal?” Asked Freddie ripping his eyes of off Sam and turning to Carly.

“Uhm, well, Sam?” Carly stuttered, seeming embarrassed.

“If I'm wearing something low cut, or tight while Carly is talking to Jesse I disappear.” Same laughed, her best friend killed her sometimes. Carly always was a little OCD.

Freddie and Sam laughed until Carly was red in the face explaining that she was just a little paranoid.

The next day at school was just the same as any other. Carly and Sam were that their lockers chatting about the new girl that was sitting alone in the lunch room, Carly was saying they should sit with her, while Sam was trying to talk her out of it.

“Hey guys.” Said Freddie, slinging his bag into Sam's open locker.

“What do you think your doing Frednub?” Said Sam, her eyes flashing dangerously.

“Wrestlers are blocking my locker, Sam.” Freddie said, kicking her locker closed, she simply shrugged and mumbled a whatever, and she started to walk away.

“Sam? Where are you going.” Carly asked, nudging Freddie as if he had done something wrong, Sam pointed to Jesse who was on his way over to their lockers and her V-neck Tank Top. Carly's grin appeared and suddenly Jesse had all her attention.

Freddie however followed Sam as she bounded from the hallway to the stair way.

“You're a pretty good friend Sam.” Freddie complimented, shielding his arms from her fists.

“I know that Whizpants!” Sam said, laying back on the stairs, Freddie couldn't help but notice that her shirt had hitched up and her midriff was revealed. Freddie's breath caught and he had to shake his head to clear the fog. “Sometimes it get's annoying though, I mean, I can't help that I have boobs!”

She laughed and shimmied her shoulders.

She noticed Freddie take a huge gulp of air, and she smirked, leaning in close to him. Then she started to sing in a mocking way.

“Freddie thinks I'm hot, Freddie thinks I'm hot.”

“Every guys does Sam.” Avoiding addressing her statements directly.

It was their last year of high school, Freddie was dating a girl named Beth. She was nice, she had a personality similar to Carly and looked like your typical girl next door. Short cropped brown hair that made her face look slim, pretty green eyes, perfect pink lips.

Freddie liked her a lot.

It was funny that Sam Puckett had a track record of ruining his relationships.

There was Maddi, Jackie, and Lisa, all ruined because of Sam. It was weird how she only wanted him when she couldn't have him, although she had never told him that she wanted him in so many words.

It started at the beginning of the year when Maddi started to show an interest in him. Freddie and Maddi had started to date shortly after their first month of friendship, that was when Sam cornered him. She had been wearing a shirt that should have been against the dress code. She said she had need to talk to him about the French project and to meet her after school in the library.

He had walked in to find her with barely no shirt on, tight jean shorts and her hair as tousled and sexy as ever.

He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and said with a shaky voice,

“Ready to hit the books.”

She hadn't even bothered with the the witty retort before she sauntered over too him, making his eyes go wide, and leaned right into his lips.

“Sam-” She had kissed him again, and looked in to his eyes, she barely had time to smirk before his lips were on hers and they were making out against the fiction section.

Then was when Maddi walked in, she shrieked and dropped the large dictionary on her toe while attempting to throw it at Sam.

What Freddie didn't know at that time was that Sam had sent her a text from Freddie's phone saying to meet him here.

Freddie confronted Sam about what had happened in the Library and asked if maybe she wanted to try a relationship, she replied, as classy as ever:

“Fuck and duck my friend, fuck and duck.” He didn't bother to say that they hadn't even gone as far as making love but found that it was pointless, he understood what she meant.

Then there was Jackie, she was just like him, smart, funny, cute, and he really liked her, she also had a wild side which turned him on. When Sam found out they were dating she always seemed to stand a little closer to Freddie, touch him a little more, and shoot sultry smiles at him when Jackie wasn't looking.

They were sitting in French when it happened, Jackie already didn't like Sam, she had noticed the way she acted around Freddie and didn't like it one bit. So when Sam and Freddie were paired for a project and Jackie was stuck with Gibby, she was less than pleased.

“So, I think we should do a powerpoint-” Freddie started looking anywhere but at Sam, when she interrupted.

“Freddie, do you like this shirt?” Sam's voice sounded way to innocent, that should have been his first clue not to look at her, but he did anyway. She was pulling it down, revealing more and more of her cleavage than Jackie liked her boyfriend looking at.

“I-it's nice.” Freddie said, a red blush splashing across his face.

“Really nice?” She was now practically sitting in his lap and Jackie was practically falling off her chair trying to see what they were talking about.

“Yes. Really ni-Sam!” He hissed, her lips were now on his neck. “God! Jackie is right over there!”

“So?” Sam laughed.

Later that day, during lunch Sam's hands were wandering and Freddie was sweating. Carly was blushing and trying not to look at her friends because she knew what Sam was doing, and quite frankly, she didn't understand why she only hit on Freddie when he had someone to lose.

Jackie had come to sit with them and started a conversation with Freddie. Sam's hands were dancing across places that shouldn't be touch by her.

Jackie's face went red when Freddie squeaked during their conversation, and she caught Sam's hand working over Freddie's crotch.

Now it was Beth. Beth was the nicest girl Freddie had ever met, and he had met Carly, so that was saying something. So, he was avoiding Sam. She had some kind of power over him, a power no girl had ever had over him before.

“How is Beth?” Asked Carly, as she and Freddie walked to class.

“She's good. Really good.” Freddie smiled and Carly looked indifferent. “What? What's that look for?”

“She met Sam?”

“No, and she never will.” Freddie said with determination in his voice.

“She's your best friend, Beth is going to have to meet her sometime.” Carly argued, throwing him a pointed look.

“Look, every time I get a girlfriend Sam shows up all pretty and willing, and I can't think, and I let her ruin everything.” Freddie said, trying to lower his voice to a whisper.

“Maybe the reason you can't think around her is because you have feelings for her.”Carly said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“She's made it clear that she's just bored and wants to mess up my life.” Freddie said, spotting Beth up ahead and beckoning her over, “I'll see you later Carls.”

Beth looked as pretty as ever, she was wearing a denim skirt and a long sleeved shirt with pink on it. Her hair was straightened to perfection and she smiled widely at him.

“Hey Freddie. You look cute today.” She said, reaching up to kiss his cheek, and that's when she saw the flash of blonde curls, she was standing there, her shirts layered, her pants tight, and her converse bright blue. She was Sam.

She was smirking at him and she winked as she looked around and opened the door to the janitor's closet.

Freddie Benson noticed in that moment, that even if she didn't want a relationship he couldn't go on dating Beth if he felt such an attraction to Sam.

“Sorry, this isn't working out, Beth.” Freddie rushed out, not bothering to console her tears as he darted into the janitor's closet.

Sam Puckett ruined another of his relationships, and he couldn't have been happier.

Then next favourite memory of Sam Puckett had to be both his favourite and his worst.

Fredward Benson never had another girlfriend after Beth, it was nearing the end of the year and he hadn't made any progress with Sam. They had their fun in the janitor's closet, they always had their fun.

Sam, however was unattainable, and Freddie knew that so he pined after her in silence. Carly watched as Freddie stole secret glaces at her during iCarly rehearsal, how the camera panned to Sam more often then her, and she noticed how when she would insult him, he would laugh like he was just happy she noticed him.

Sam seemed to not notice the attention she was getting from him, or she chose to ignore it.

Carly thought it was the latter. Freddie was in the bathroom finished a while ago until he heard the girls talking.

“Sam, you need to deal with Freddie.”

“What do you mean 'deal with Freddie.'” Sam asked, Freddie could tell by her tone of voice that she was playing innocent. She noticed his stares and she had noticed his attention.

“I mean, he likes you. He broke up with Beth for you.”

“No, he broke up with Beth so he could hook up with me in a closet.” Sam said.

“You guys didn't have . . . sex? Did you?”

“No. Though, I wouldn't mind-”

“SAM!” Carly said, trying to sound outraged, but then both girls started to giggle.

“I'm kidding Carls. Fredwad wouldn't be up to the task, Bob is the only one who can satisfy me.” Again both girls started to laugh after Carly let out a high pitched schreech of 'Eeeewww!'

Freddie's heart stopped, who was Bob? Why was she sleeping with him? What the hell kind of a name was Bob anyway? I guess it was just a matter of time before she found someone worth it.

So Freddie did something as sneaky as Sam Puckett, something as underhanded as she would think of.

He walked out of the bathroom and sat next to Carly on the couch.

“What did you do Frednerd? Fall in?” She snorted and leaned back.

“I'm going on a date tonight.” He blurted, it wasn't exactly as stealth as he planned but it got the job done. Sam straighten out and he had her full attention.

“Who?”

“Some girl from school.”

“Name?” Sam growled out.

“You don't need to know that.” I said, holding back a smile, while Carly looked uncomfortable. “I have to go get ready. See you guys.”

Freddie had left when Sam told some story about her mom needing help to pop the pimples on her back. She left her house and picked Freddie's lock, it was Wednesday, his mom worked the nightshift so she wouldn't get caught.

Freddie was putting some sweatpants on and trying to find a clean shirt, when he heard some rustling in the living room, he thought his mom was working the nightshift.

“Hello?” He called, not bothering to put on a shirt and walking out of his room. His plan must have been way to stealth because she walk in to find Sam wearing only her bra and panties.

“I think I'm the better option, Fredweird.” She said, unhooking her bra.

“W-what?” Was all Freddie could stutter out.

“You can go on your date, or you can stay here.” She said, the bra falling from her shoulders. Freddie had never been this close to a girl in this situation. He felt completely inexperienced as he watched Sam who looked so in her element, she looked sexy and mysterious. When she was finally completely bared She walked over to Freddie who had to keep telling himself to remember to breathe.

“So what'll it be?” She asked, a smirk gracing her angelic face. The mere sound of her voice made his eyes roll to the back of his head and his eyes flutter closed. Sam took that as a 'yes' and hooked her thumbs in the waistband of his sweatpants.

That was one of his favourite times with Sam.

Then he woke up a huge smile on his face, because even though he wasn't so impressive last night, she had smiled and said he was perfect. Something Sam Puckett would never say.

However, his arm was draped over what should have been Sam but, was in reality, empty space. She had left, no goodbye.

It was a couple years after that when Sam was asleep on Freddie's couch that was one of his favourite memory.

“Carly? Carly!?!” Freddie had called her as soon as Sam had fallen asleep.

“Freddie? What's up?”

“Sam is here!” He said, he could barely contain his smile, he lived in New York now, Carly live in Seattle still, with Jesse and they were both expecting. “She just showed up and said she was crashing here!”

“Freddie, why are you on the phone with me, this is the moment you've been waiting for since you asked her to move in with you two years ago!”

She was right.

After the incident where Sam left him, he tried to call her, over and over again, but she never picked up. Finally, after finally cornering her at school he found out she was seeing someone. Graduation came and went as did iCarly, and Carly went abroad and Freddie went to NYU.

They didn't keep in touch with Sam until two years ago Sam started to work at coffee shop where Freddie spent most of his free time. He saw her a grand total of three times before all his feelings came back and he asked her to move in with him.

She didn't say anything, and when Freddie came back the next day Sam wasn't there. She had quit and he didn't see her after that.

“Okay Carly, I'll see you later.”

“You and Sam better come and visit soon!” She laughed, and they both hung up.

“Frednerd?” Sam mumbled, as she looked up from the couch to see him sitting there watch her.

“Hey Sam.” He said, he couldn't help the smile on his face.

She stuck her tongue out, “You got a nice place here, Nub.”

“Yeah, after NYU I got a job with Pear.”

“Making lots of dough?” She laughed, continuing before he could say 'yes'. “I think I'm gonna crash here for a while.”

“Okay.” He smiled because he knew that meant she was finally taking him up on his offer.

“Freddie?”

“Hmmm?” He was to busy looking at her to form a sentence.

“I hate you.” She smiled, with those words he nearly pounced on her, as he covered her lips with his and they melted together.