Status: Active
As Long as the Wrong Feels Right
Like Any Other Day
The mirror reflected my pain, my sorrow as the bruises trailed from my face to my arms. I knew I shouldn’t have fought back, but anger boiled over me and it became uncontrollable. I knew better than to challenge Zack. It was too late now, though. It already happened. The house was a mess and I was left to clean the evidence. Zack was out doing appearances with his band.
Tears began rolling down my eyes when I remembered my family back in Baltimore. I haven’t talked to them since I was 18. Because I was blinded by love, I abandoned my family and moved to Huntington Beach with Zack. I was pretty sure they knew I lived here since Zack’s band was becoming more successful and well-known. Then again, if they knew I lived here, how come they didn’t bother to visit or to even call? This was karma. I was the one who did this to me.
The house phone rang from the living room. I hurried out of the bathroom and carefully avoided the shattered glass scattered throughout the floor. I wiped the tears from my eyes and cleared my throat before answering the phone. I didn’t want to give any signs that I was crying. I wanted to keep it all to myself.
I pressed the “Talk” button and placed the phone to my ear. “Hello?”
“Kayla! It’s me, Tammy!” Tammy exclaimed through the phone. “We have to go out ASAP!”
I raised an eyebrow. “Why?” I asked quietly.
“Because I want to spend time with my best friend before you go on tour again with your man,” she explained matter-of-factly. “You’re going to be gone for like two months. I’m going to miss you.”
I sighed. “I might not go on tour with him.”
“What?” Tammy squeaked. “I thought you guys were going well, from what I heard from Zack.”
“I don’t know. I guess I don’t feel like touring with a bunch of dudes in a tour bus for two months,” I lied. I loved going on tour with the guys, but every time we were on tour, things turned for the worse for Zack and I. He was the jealous type and since their tours in the past never had an opening band with a girl in it, I talked to guys. Some of them flirted with me, but I turned them down because I was with Zack. I loved him and no one else. When we were alone in the tour bus, I get nervous and scared, knowing what he was capable of.
She laughed. “I understand what you mean. Still though, we need to hang out.”
“I’m so busy cleaning up the house. You know how Zack is and his parties,” I forced a chuckle through my lie. “I’m like the maid here. Maybe some other time, okay?”
“Okay then,” Tammy answered. “Talk to you later, alright? Call me when you need me.”
“I will. Bye,” I hung up the phone and rested it on the table. I hated this. I hated lying to my best friend about it, but what I could I do? Even if Zack was like this, I still loved him. I didn’t want anything bad happen to him.
Zack came in the house and I quickly turned away. I wiped any leftover tears on my face. I felt his arms around my shoulder and he kissed me on my neck. “I have a surprise for you,” he whispered in my ear. “I close your eyes.”
I closed my eyes as I felt his arms around my waist slipping away. Zack was grabbing something from his bag since I heard the zipper. His arms found its way to my waist again and he rested his head on mine. “Open them.”
I opened my eyes and saw a silver necklace in his hands. He wore it around my neck and fixed it so it was placed properly. I glanced down at the necklace again, not knowing what to say. It was normal for him to do this. He would buy a present for me as an apology for his misbehavior from the previous night.
Zack lifted my chin up. “Do you like it?”
I nodded and smiled. “I love it,” I kissed him on the lips and embraced him.
He pulled away from me and beamed. “You have to promise me that you will wear that on tour, okay?” My smiled faded. “What’s wrong?”
I glanced down on the floor. How was I going to say this to him? “I don’t feel like touring again.”
Zack’s eyebrows furrowed. I knew I shouldn’t have said that. “How come you don’t want to go on tour with me? You always go on tour with me. Is there someone else?” He snapped.
I shook my head. “No,” I replied nervously. “It’s not that.”
“Then what is it then?” Zack asserted.
My heart raced as I tried to speak, but no words came out. Every word I said to him was like a bullet. The more I talked, the angrier he got. I stood there, speechless and not knowing what to say.
Zack held on to both of my arms. His grip tightened as each second went by, waiting for an answer from me. “Tell me, damn it!” He pushed me to the floor. I landed on the shattered glass. Some pierced through my skin, delivering discomfort on my left arm. I glanced at it and saw blood coming out. Zack quickly picked me up, gazing at the wound. With no spoken words, he placed me on the couch, aiding the wound by wrapping gauze around it.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he cried. After he finished, he looked at me. “I, I didn’t mean to do that,” he stuttered.
I nodded. “It’s alright.” It was always alright. I got up from the couch as he held my hand. We went up to our room. Zack grabbed the luggage from the closet while I sat down on the edge of the bed. I watched him pack up his clothes for the tour. Every now and then, he glanced up at me, wondering if I was going to change my mind. After thinking about it, I made my decision.
“I’ll go on tour with you.”
Tears began rolling down my eyes when I remembered my family back in Baltimore. I haven’t talked to them since I was 18. Because I was blinded by love, I abandoned my family and moved to Huntington Beach with Zack. I was pretty sure they knew I lived here since Zack’s band was becoming more successful and well-known. Then again, if they knew I lived here, how come they didn’t bother to visit or to even call? This was karma. I was the one who did this to me.
The house phone rang from the living room. I hurried out of the bathroom and carefully avoided the shattered glass scattered throughout the floor. I wiped the tears from my eyes and cleared my throat before answering the phone. I didn’t want to give any signs that I was crying. I wanted to keep it all to myself.
I pressed the “Talk” button and placed the phone to my ear. “Hello?”
“Kayla! It’s me, Tammy!” Tammy exclaimed through the phone. “We have to go out ASAP!”
I raised an eyebrow. “Why?” I asked quietly.
“Because I want to spend time with my best friend before you go on tour again with your man,” she explained matter-of-factly. “You’re going to be gone for like two months. I’m going to miss you.”
I sighed. “I might not go on tour with him.”
“What?” Tammy squeaked. “I thought you guys were going well, from what I heard from Zack.”
“I don’t know. I guess I don’t feel like touring with a bunch of dudes in a tour bus for two months,” I lied. I loved going on tour with the guys, but every time we were on tour, things turned for the worse for Zack and I. He was the jealous type and since their tours in the past never had an opening band with a girl in it, I talked to guys. Some of them flirted with me, but I turned them down because I was with Zack. I loved him and no one else. When we were alone in the tour bus, I get nervous and scared, knowing what he was capable of.
She laughed. “I understand what you mean. Still though, we need to hang out.”
“I’m so busy cleaning up the house. You know how Zack is and his parties,” I forced a chuckle through my lie. “I’m like the maid here. Maybe some other time, okay?”
“Okay then,” Tammy answered. “Talk to you later, alright? Call me when you need me.”
“I will. Bye,” I hung up the phone and rested it on the table. I hated this. I hated lying to my best friend about it, but what I could I do? Even if Zack was like this, I still loved him. I didn’t want anything bad happen to him.
Zack came in the house and I quickly turned away. I wiped any leftover tears on my face. I felt his arms around my shoulder and he kissed me on my neck. “I have a surprise for you,” he whispered in my ear. “I close your eyes.”
I closed my eyes as I felt his arms around my waist slipping away. Zack was grabbing something from his bag since I heard the zipper. His arms found its way to my waist again and he rested his head on mine. “Open them.”
I opened my eyes and saw a silver necklace in his hands. He wore it around my neck and fixed it so it was placed properly. I glanced down at the necklace again, not knowing what to say. It was normal for him to do this. He would buy a present for me as an apology for his misbehavior from the previous night.
Zack lifted my chin up. “Do you like it?”
I nodded and smiled. “I love it,” I kissed him on the lips and embraced him.
He pulled away from me and beamed. “You have to promise me that you will wear that on tour, okay?” My smiled faded. “What’s wrong?”
I glanced down on the floor. How was I going to say this to him? “I don’t feel like touring again.”
Zack’s eyebrows furrowed. I knew I shouldn’t have said that. “How come you don’t want to go on tour with me? You always go on tour with me. Is there someone else?” He snapped.
I shook my head. “No,” I replied nervously. “It’s not that.”
“Then what is it then?” Zack asserted.
My heart raced as I tried to speak, but no words came out. Every word I said to him was like a bullet. The more I talked, the angrier he got. I stood there, speechless and not knowing what to say.
Zack held on to both of my arms. His grip tightened as each second went by, waiting for an answer from me. “Tell me, damn it!” He pushed me to the floor. I landed on the shattered glass. Some pierced through my skin, delivering discomfort on my left arm. I glanced at it and saw blood coming out. Zack quickly picked me up, gazing at the wound. With no spoken words, he placed me on the couch, aiding the wound by wrapping gauze around it.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he cried. After he finished, he looked at me. “I, I didn’t mean to do that,” he stuttered.
I nodded. “It’s alright.” It was always alright. I got up from the couch as he held my hand. We went up to our room. Zack grabbed the luggage from the closet while I sat down on the edge of the bed. I watched him pack up his clothes for the tour. Every now and then, he glanced up at me, wondering if I was going to change my mind. After thinking about it, I made my decision.
“I’ll go on tour with you.”