As Long as the Wrong Feels Right

Three hours passed since we left Huntington Beach. The atmosphere on the bus was crazy as always. Everyone was jumping off walls, careless at what they were doing. They were all rowdy. It was normally like this, especially at the beginning of tour. The band and the crew were pumped up and reckless. Rian, however, wasn’t as crazy as the rest. He was reserved and quiet. He stood up from his seat and went to the back lounge. Zack went inside his bunk and logged onto his laptop. I glanced down the hall and saw Rian walking back and forth inside the room. He glanced up and saw me watching him. He quickly turned away and continued pacing back and forth.

My curiosity got the best of me and I decided to see what was wrong with him. I stood up and headed to the back lounge. Zack stuck his arm out and stopped me.

“Where are you going?”

I pointed at the back lounge. “The only place where I can go, the back lounge,” I answered matter-of-factly. “Do you need me?”

Zack shook his head and looked at his computer screen again. “No, it’s okay.” He went back to browsing on his computer. “I was just asking,” he smiled.

I smiled back before heading to the lounge. Rian looked up at me when I entered the room.

He became fidgety as he sat down on the seat. He folded his hands on his lap, still staying silent. I didn’t know why he was acting like this.

“Is there something wrong?” I asked, trying to break the silence between us. “You’ve been acting strange lately.”

Without replying back, Rian stood up and closed the back lounge door, muting the chaos from the other side. He turned to me with worried eyes. “Is Zack hurting you?” he said in a low voice. “I’ve been hearing things about Zack abusing you. Is that true?”

My eyes widened. “No,” I whispered under my breath. “That’s not true. Where did you hear this from?” My heart began to race as chills trembled down my spine. Cameron must have told everyone about this. He even included Rian to tell his accusations.

“Cameron said he saw bruises on your arms,” Rian explained. “He was certain that you were being abused,” he rested his hand on my shoulder. “If Zack is really doing this to you, tell me now. I can help. Everyone can help him to stop doing this to you.”

I looked at Rian straight in the eyes. “Cameron is lying,” I gritted my teeth. “He’s a liar and he’s doing all of this just to attention.” I felt tears coming up. Why was this happening? Everything seemed to crumble down around me as this secret of mine surfaced. “Zack will never do that to me.”

Rian nodded. “I believe you. It’s just that Cameron was so convinced that you were being abused,” he mentioned. “The thing that really bothers me is that he’s spreading this kind of lie, a lie that could damage your relationship with Zack,” he shook his head. “That’s just terrible of him to do that. I know Zack’s a good guy. He would never do this to you.”

“How many people did Cameron tell about this lie?”

He shrugged. “I’m the only one who knows about this other than you. I just have a feeling that he’s doing this in order to ruin Zack’s reputation as well as the band’s reputation. This is a serious problem,” he finished.

I sat down on the couch. “I’m going to talk to him.”

Rian nodded his head in agreement. “This needs to stop. If someone else knows about this lie and believes it, hell would break out.”

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Zack wrapped his arm around me as we lay down inside the bunk. The craziness died down as many of them passed out when the night came near. My mind couldn’t stop coming back to what Rian told me earlier in the day. Luckily he believed me when I said it was all a lie. It was not a lie though. I kept telling myself it was so I could erase the pain, but the wounds reminded me of dark moments that happened between Zack and me. Forcing me to forget was the way to move on from it, but when the truth began to surface, how could I avoid it?

Zack rested his head on my shoulder. “Are you excited for tomorrow? It’s the first official day of tour,” he murmured.

I nodded. “It’ll be awesome to see you guys perform,” I kissed his forehead. “You know I’ll be jumping around at the sidelines.”

He quietly laughed. “That’s why I want you to always go on tour with me. I get to see you every time I perform. You’re the only one who keeps me going.” We both rested our heads on the pillow. “It sucks that we have We Are The In Crowd on tour. That Cameron guy aggravates me.”

The mention of Cameron’s name stung me. He was the reason why I was feeling this way.
He was the reason for spreading rumors. Tomorrow was the day I needed to talk to him. During All Time Low’s sound check was the perfect time since Zack was occupied. He wouldn’t know that I talked to Cameron.

“Well…,” I answered. “Just ignore the guy and everything will be just fine.”

Hopefully.