Trapped In The Dark

Lelianna was determind to make me feel worse. Her voice screeching as we walked through her front door. Things like...How could he do that to you?? or Wasn't my hair straight enough??. All she thought about was herself, and it hurt...more then she would ever realise.

"It's fine Lelianna..." I muttered. Her voice soon stopped and I could feel her eyes on me. I let out a deep sigh and found my way to her sofa. The soft cushiony feel of it made me feel just a tad sleepy, but I knew if I ever fell asleep round here, she'd screech and moan I'm boring her.

She stormed off into the kitchen. Most likely to fix herself a drink and something to eat, while I just sat here...my dark mood getting the better of me. Why couldn't I just be normal?? A normal, human being, who could easily see her way around a house, who could see her own reflection...to see if a guy she walks into, is really something...

When she finally walked into the frontroom, her mood had seemed to calm down a bit. This is the Lelianna I became friends with, not the jealous, self-centred girl who she's turned into most of the time.
Her body was slightly pressed up against me, making me know she was there while she switched the tv on. Now you may think, why does a friend put the tv on while her blind friend is round, well it was easy to answer really. It made me feel normal. So I couldn't see what was moving across the screen, but just hearing what was said, the noises that were made from walking, or crashing into things, was good enough.

"I'm sorry Zero..." Lelianna's voice suddenly came up, over the tv. It was filled with guilt, which always got me feeling worse for being such a burden on her.

"It's really ok Lelianna, it doesn't matter ok" I smiled towards her. Hoping she was looking.

She pulled me into a hug and I happily returned it. If I didn't have Lelianna by my side, I don't know where I would be now.
----
It came to 5pm. Lelianna had said my mum had called to say she was home, and so thats where I was heading. I stepped out of Lelianna's front door and gave her a hug goodbye before counting my steps to my house.

26 steps from Lelianna's front door to the pavement.
43 steps to the right, where I would be inlined with my front door.
28 steps from the pavement to my front door.

My mother was standing there when I arrived, I could feel the warmth of the house as I felt her hand take mine. Smiling her way, she guided me into the house, closing the door behind us.

"How was your shopping trip mum??" I asked with a smile. We walked into the kitchen where I could smell a lovely dinner coming along nicely.

"It was alright darling. I bought you something nice, I've left it in your room" she replied. I could hear a small smile through her voice which made me smile a little more.

"Thank you so much mum! I bet it's lovely. I'll look after dinner" I smiled towards the noise of her hitting pans. She was the bestest mum in the world.

I sat down and waited. It seemed to take so long for dinner to be ready tonight. I didn't realise until my mum touched my shoulder, that I'd drifted off into my own little world.
I felt her thumb rub my shoulder in a small circle, and then heard a plate being placed onto the counter infront of me.

"It's your favourite darling, spaghetti bolognaise!" she cheered. I laughed at how she tried to put an Italian accent on.

"Thank you so much Mummy!" I giggled. I felt happy for once. I felt her soft lips touch my cheek lightly before she moved away and I heard her chair being pulled out and then scruffing across the floor as she sat down.

We ate in mostly silence. Not one of us able to think of something to discuss, until the boy's voice popped into my head. I felt my cheeks warm with a blush while I thought of how tall he could be, and how warm he felt.

"Soo, did you do anything fun round Lelianna's??" her voice broke through my thoughts. She must have noticed the slight tinge of pink across my cheeks.

"Ooh not really, we just watched tv really...she got a bit stressed before I got there though...a guy bumped into me on my way to her's, but she said sorry about the stressing part so it's all ok now" I half smiled at her, trying to make it seem like bumping into a guy who somehow made me feel safer then I have felt in a long while, was nothing.

"A guy??!" she screeched. I could hear the cheeky smile across her face. If only she knew.

"Yes mum, a guy. His name was Jacob but that was it." I said short, trying to make her drop the whole subject before she even started it.

"BUT!..." I stopped her straight away. Finishing off my Spaghetti and pushing my plate away from me.

"Mum...please just leave it." I sighed again, the weight of everything inside, weighing heavy on my shoulders. I pushed my chair out and stand up, slowly taking each step at a time as I walk out from the kitchen and towards my room.

I didn't hear from her for the rest of the night. I was content about that, but also...it made the alone feeling in the pit of my stomache grow thick as I layed across my soft double bed. The darkness in my room was nothing like the darkness I was trapped in every single day. If only I could see the bright lights again, for just one last time I wish I could go to a place, like a circus or a fair ground, and watch all of the lights turn on, see how amazingly bright and wonderful they looked.

That was my life now. Waiting in the dark for a light that was never going to return.