The Punchline to the Joke Is Asking

I grabbed my guitar case, packed up with my battered acoustic; and the duffel bag I’d thrown some jeans and tshirts into. I’d always been a light packer, because I tried not to have more than the essentials (and my guitar) at any given time. I didn’t think I’d ever break some of the habits the streets hadbeaten into taught me.
I hefted my things up, slinging the bag over one shoulder and clutching the case’s handle in the other hand, taking a quick glance around the empty room I stood in.
I didn’t feel as bad as I had when I’d been dragged out of Central Park that one day. No, the feeling of that departure still left me a bit queasy.
This time, I wasn’t leaving the family, the entire life I’d built for myself.
This felt more like the train pulling up to the stop I’d been waiting for, the one I’d left everything else to get to.
I just had to be careful not to trip on the way out.

Everyone was waiting downstairs, knowing going to the airport would draw unwanted attention for our farewells.
“Bye, guys.” I whispered to Mikey, Ray, Frankie, and Bob, who hugged me first. “I love you guys.”
“We love you, too.” Ray smiled sadly at me, his eyes over bright, and I looked away out of respect for his pride.
“You’re our ninja, and don’t you forget it.” Frankie commanded, and I bit my lip, then suddenly latched onto him again.
All of the goodbyes were like that, bringing up little inside jokes and stupid shenanigans we’d pulled, as if they were purposely trying to cut my heart out.
Gerard was third to last, and he hugged me protectively. “I’m gonna miss you, sugar.”
“I’ma miss you, too, Gee.” I mumbled, not entirely trusting my voice anymore.
Then Pete. “I’ll sing to Bronx for you, and tell him all sorts of awesome stories, and we’ll stay in touch and send each other pictures and Skype and everything.” He blurted out, until I cut him off with a huge hug.
“If you and Joe hadn’t taken me that day, Trey never would’ve been caught and sent home, and I wouldn’t be seeing my mom for the first time in 13 years.” I sniffed. “And you guys just took me right in and didn’t care where I came from and I love you guys so thank you, thank you, thank you.” I met his honey eyes, which were swimming with tears, then hugged him again quickly. He just mutely patted my head and sent me off to Joe.
Joe’d become distant with me since Trey showed up, and I’d missed the way we used to be almost as much as I would miss being with my crazy boys every day.
But now he just pulled me into his familiar, protective hug, holding me tightly.
“Cyn, I’m-”
“Don’t be sorry, it’s my fault.” I tried to grin up at him, but just went back to hugging him. “I love you, ‘kay, Joe?”
“Love you, too, kiddo.” Joe mumbled, ruffling my hair with a broken grin before Trey and Ryan lead me out the door.

After the silent ride to the airport, Ryan pulled me aside for his goodbye.
“Cyn, you won’t forget me, will you?” He asked childishly, and I couldn’t help but smile.
“No way in Hell, Ryan.” I hugged him tightly, a bit differently than I hugged the other guys. And Ryan held me differently, too; one arm wrapped firmly around my waist, his other hand behind my head.
When we finally shifted apart to look at each other and properly say goodbye, I was at a loss for words, trapped in his dark eyes.
When his lips crashed into mine, I responded immediately, running my fingers through his hair, pressing even closer to him.
“Flight 2181 to Indianapolis, Indiana is now boarding.” A canned voice announced over the PA system, and Ryan and I pulled apart, just staring into each others’ eyes like some cliché couple in a typical Hollywood screenplay.
If this were Hollywood, I would realize I was madly in love with Ryan and choose to stay with him; occasionally visiting my family who would miraculously love me.
But this isn’t Hollywoodit’s a bad fan-fiction.
“Bye, Ryan.” I whispered, breaking our little spell.
“Bye, Cyn.” Ryan echoed sadly, sounding very far away already.
I smiled at him, sad but not regretful.
I was going home.