The Punchline to the Joke Is Asking

Jimmy held my hand as we stood back from the other guys, Zacky stepping up to ring the bell.
When the door actually opened, I couldn’t stop my hold on Jimmy’s hand becoming a deathgrip, tight enough that he pulled his hand out of mine for the first time ever, and panic seized my heart for an instant before he wrapped his arms around me.
“It’s ok.” Jimmy assured me sadly. “They missed you, they’ll be glad to have you back.”
“I wanna stay with you.” I mumbled, holding onto him tight.
Jimmy sighed. “I think Zacky had a plan. Something about ‘split custody’ or some shit that made us sound like divorced parents fighting over a kid.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at his analogy.

“Hey, come on in!” Gabe’s voice came from the door, and he lead everyone else inside, Jimmy and I trailing behind, as invisible as was possible with his height. It was easier for me, hiding in his shadow with his arm around my shoulders.
In that moment, I realized that if there was anyone I ever wanted to call my dad, it was Jimmy.

“Hey guys.” Pete said happily. “These guys are Bill, Gabe, Ryan, and Brendon, and I think you know My Chem.”
A7X replied with the standard greetings and introductions, giving all their tough stage names, participating in the mandatory small talk before Pete cut to the chase.
“So, what brings you guys to our neck of the woods?”
Johnny and Matt shifted uncomfortably, not wanting to be the ones to sell me out as Syn mumbled something completely incoherent. Jimmy’s arm tightened around me as Zacky sighed, knowing it was up to him.
“We wanted to talk to you about the newest member of our family. We think you know our little Jailbait.”
Pete raised his eyebrows in skeptical amusement, cocking his head to one side as he waited for an explanation.
Jimmy glanced down at me just as Zacky stepped aside, pulling Johnny with him so I couldn’t hide from anybody in the room.
For half a minute, there was nothing but silence as I just stared at the floor.
“KID!” Frankie yelled, leading the charge as he, Bill, Gabe, and Brendon pretty much tackled me, no longer intimidated by Jimmy’s height.
“You got arrested?!” Pete screeched angrily.
“She’s alive.” Gerard sighed in relief, a smile spreading across his face as he sank back in his chair.
“Oh, fuck dignity.” Mikey muttered, then added himself to the pile of huggers.
“Squished.” I choked out, and the guys obligingly sat up, pulling me into an upright hug so I could breathe.
“Told you they missed you.” Jimmy grinned down at us.
“Yeah! Do you know how pissed off at Ryan we’ve been?!” Bill shook my shoulders gently. “Brendon doesn’t even talk to him!”
I glanced over to where Ryan was sitting in the corner, all alone, and felt bad. I hadn’t meant to alienate him from everyone when I left.
“That’s the guy who made you run away?” Matt growled, narrowing his eyes at Ryan. He was still wearing his fangs from the concert. I had a feeling he’d ‘forgotten’ to take them out solely for this purpose, as Ryan, Bill, Gabe, and Brendon leaned away from him slightly.
“He didn’t mean to.” I protested weakly.
“Jailbait, just let Shadows have some fun.” Johnny winked at me. They’d taken to calling each other by their stage names in front ofmy friends these guys.
I grinned back weakly, then turned to my huggers, who were all staring at me.
“What?” I asked slowly.
“He cried. Thought you were dead.” Bill immediately pointed at Gabe, who glared at his friend. “He was completely hysterical for a week-”
“Brendon cried, too!” Gabe cut in hotly.
“I did!” Frankie volunteered. “Bill did, too, he just doesn’t wanna say it.”
“Guys,” I shook my head slowly, eyes wide. “You know I can take care of myself. Don’t worry about me.” They were making me nervous, and very confused. Were they lying to guilt me into staying? What if they were still trying to take responsibility for me? Then again, they’d never had any luck with guilt trips in the past….
“We like worrying about you when you’re not around. We’re good at it, Ninja.” Frankie hugged me tight, and I hugged him back. I really had missed them all.
“Jailbait, you wanna grab your guitar before we hit the road?” Matt sighed, resigned.
“We get to keep her?” Joe’s face lit up from whereI’d been ignoring him as he sat next to Gerard.
“I… guess.” Syn mumbled, scuffing his boot on the ground. So much for ‘gruff and tough’ Synyster.
Don’t go! I had never in my life wanted to beg and plead for something as much as I had at that moment. Don’t leave me! Not even food or money to keep Trey and Jamie alive was enough to make me beg. Not all the parkas in New England in the winter, or all the sunscreen in the summer. Stay with me! It might even be easier to burn my guitar than watch them go.
“No.” I whispered, detaching myself from the pile and latching onto Jimmy, who’d been staring sullenly at the floor, and burying my face in his chest. “Don’t leave me. Please.” There it was; I was begging. I hadn’t realized a person, any person could reduce me to this. I hadn’t realized how strong thislove affection could be.
“It’s not forever.” Jimmy mumbled, tipping his head towards Zacky and Pete, who were suddenly in a heated discussion. Zacky’s eyes were narrowed as he glared at Pete, who seemed to be steadfastly sticking to his guns.
Just then, Pete looked over, seeing meholding onto Jimmy for dear life hugging Jimmy, and he seemed to deflate, giving in. With a sullen expression, he turned back to Zacky, who was grinning triumphantly.
I swapped hopeful glances with Syn as Matt and Johnny kept scowls on their faces to look tough and macho. Then I caught sight of Joe, who was staring at me with something like hurt on his face. I looked away quickly, just in time to see Zacky stride confidently out the door.
“What’s the deal, Wentz?” Matt growled, still shooting daggers out the corner of his eye at Ryan.
Pete sighed. “It’s up to Cyn, but… she can bounce between our circles every two months, or whenever our tours intersect. And she’s her own person, if she wants to run from somebody… well, now she’s got somewhere to go.”
That was better than I expected; they were letting me have some freedom to choose, and I had somewhere to run now. That was new, though I hoped it was unnecessary.Then again, it was me.

A moment later, Zacky returned with my guitar and small duffel bag of clothes I’d accumulated. He dumped the bag unceremoniously on the couch- exactly what I would have done- and let Pete take my guitar, knowing it would be safe. He knew that guitar was my whole life.
“Alright Jailbait, we’ll see you soon.” He grinned at me, winking. “And we’ll be checking in on you from time to time.” With a quick hug he ruffled my hair, called a goodbye over his shoulder, and sauntered out the door, letting the rest of Avenged take their cue for goodbyes.
Johnny narrowed his eyes at me. “I’m gonna miss having you around, shrimp.” Then he hugged me, too.
“Only ‘cause you’ll be short shit again.” I teased, making him scowl as he pulled away. Then he rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, yeah. I can’t stay mad since you’ve got us all whipped.”
“You really do, Jailbait.” Syn sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean it, keep that thumb behind the neck of your guitar-”
“I’m gonna miss you, too, Bri.” I smiled a bit, hugging him.
He hugged me back wordlessly, then left with Johnny, waving their careless farewells at my friends.
“Matt, stop killing Ryan with your mind.” I whispered sternly, and Matt grinned, flashing some fang.
“It’s not like I’m hurting anyone… for real.” He pulled me into a bone crushing hug, and I tried not to laugh.
“I know, but still…” I grinned, pulling away. He grinned down at me, then seemed to realize I was still wearing his hat.
“Y’know, I think that looks better on you, Jailbait.” He winked. “I’ll see you soon.” With a final glare at Ryan, he wandered out, leaving Jimmy to say his goodbye.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you around, Jailbait.” Jimmy rubbed the back of his neck, slightly awkward with farewells.
“Yeah, see you around.” I echoed, somewhat disappointed until I was suddenly swept into a giant hug.
“Call me if you need me, I’ll always come get you, especially if there’re boys around. Call if you need me for anything, or even if you just miss me, ‘cause I’ll miss you, too-”
“Jimmy,” I cut him off, and he looked down at me as I hugged him back. “Love you.”
“Love you, too.” He kissed my forehead, gave me one last squeeze, then followed the rest ofhis our family out the door.
“Do you love them more, Cyn?” Brendon asked forlornly.
I turned to him, wide-eyed, and hugged him tightly. “No. I don’t love anybody more.” I assured him.

-X-

“Figures we’d get you back just in time to take off.” Gabe groused as He and Bill stalled for time outside their tour bus. Cobra Starship and The Academy Is… were heading out for tour, even though it was only the day after I’d been returned.
“It’s ok. I’ll still be around, y’know.” I hugged him, laughing when he picked me up and spun me around.
“Alright chica, we’ll keep in touch.” He winked, then dragged Bill up the steps of the bus with him after letting him give me a quick, suffocating hug.
Brendon, Ryan, Pete, Joe, Frankie and I all waved our farewells, Brendon and Frankie being real drama queens and pretending to sob all over each other as the bus pulled away.
“Aw, don’t be upset.” I hauled them up by the backs of their shirts, wrapping my arms around their waists. “We’ll have loads of fun, and we can prank call them every night.”
Frankie and Brendon both stared at me for a minute, then wicked grins spread slowly across their faces. “We can.” Brendon nodded slowly.
“Maybe we shouldn’t let Brendon near a phone for a while.” Pete mumbled to Joe, who nodded. Everyone was still ignoring Ryan, which made me feel guilty. It was my fault, not his; I was oversensitive and prone to running from anything uncomfortable. The only reason we weren’t back to normal yet was… wait, there was no reason. It was just easier for me to ignore him with everyone else.But I missed him.