The Punchline to the Joke Is Asking

“Cyn, tell us a story.” Brendon smiled at me innocently from where he sat on the floor with Pete, Joe, and Ryan, who was off to one side, reading a book.
“About what?” I asked, falling back so I was laying on the couch, my head dangling off so I was at Brendon’s eye level, though upside down.
“Something awesome.” He replied, still staring at me expectantly.
I groaned. “I know scary stories.”
“Scary’s good.” Pete nodded. He’d been encouraging me to be outspoken and overly social for the past few days, like me being really close to the guys would stop me from leaving again.
“Alright.” I agreed slowly, sorting through all the stories I knew. “Do you know about the gators? The ones in the sewers.”
“That’s just an urban legend!” Brendon whined, obviously having heard that version of the story before.
“Every legend has roots in fact.” I grinned, and all four boys looked at me with interest. Even Ryan’s eyes had left his book, though he quickly pretended to read when I met his gaze.
I sat up on the edge of the couch as Joe, Brendon, and Pete scooted into a semicircle on the floor in front of me.
”Everyone’s heard about the gators that are supposed to live in the sewers of New York, the giant man eaters from down south and even all the way from Africa.” I began. “But nobody knows how they got there without being too close for comfort.”
“Years ago, a gang formed, all boys from Florida. When they moved up north to New York, they brought their pets with them. Crocodiles.” I grinned crookedly. “Now these boys… you didn’t want to mess with them. If you wronged one of them, you had to run from all of them; mostly because you can’t fight them. They’re too much like their pets; once they have their teeth in you, they’ll tear you up until they can swallow you piece… by… piece.” I said darkly.
“Now these boys, they took their pets when they got to New York, and they kept them nice and pampered while they set up their little ring of debauchery and violence. But the pets started to grow from the baby gators they were. And one day, one of the gators ripped into the ringleader.”
I glanced around at my audience, smirking darkly before continuing. “His ‘brothers’, the rest of his gang, just stood there and watched as he screamed, and screamed, and screamed, all the while his gator was shredding him.”
“When the screaming finally stopped, all that was left was a pulpy mass of tattered clothes and slimy innards on the warehouse floor. The rest of the gang realized that they couldn’t keep living with their pets, they had to find somewhere to get rid of them. But one of those boys was a schemer. He realized he could use the gators, so they couldn’t just kill them. So the boys packed them down in the sewers.”
“Now this smart one, he knew what he was doing. He set rules, and didn’t make any bones about hiding the consequences when someone broke them. If you broke a rule, you fed the gators.” I grinned darkly. “In December, when it’s cold and all the Christmas lights turn the snow red, when there’s steam coming up from a manhole, you can smell it sometimes; the stink of scaly flesh, rotting meat, fresh blood rising up on the steam. Sometimes, you can even hear the gator growling over the screams.”
The guys were staring at me in horror, openmouthed as they waited for more, finally realizing the story was over.
“That’s it? They don’t get caught?” Brendon squeaked. “What kind of story is that?”
“True one.” I shrugged. “Those gators are freakin’ scary, must be eighteen feet long.”
“Did you get fed to the gators?” Joe asked, wide eyed.
“No!” I shook my head. “I knew to run from those boys, let them do what they wanted. Once the gators want you… you’re on the menu.” I shuddered. “I knew someone who got fed to the gators, but I kept my head down around them.”
“Wow.” Pete nodded. Knowing him, he was probably going to use something I’d mentioned as some morbid metaphor in his next song.
“Anyway, what do you guys wanna do now?” I asked, resting my chin in my hands and my elbows on my knees.
“Let’s have a water gun fight!” Brendon jumped up, Joe quickly following. The two of them hauled Pete up, then looked at me.
“Be outside in 5 minutes, or we’re fighting in here.” Joe grinned at me, then they rushed out to the garage in search of arms.
Once they were gone, I stood up slowly, not looking at Ryan, who was pretending he hadn’t been listening to my storyand watching me. Then I sighed, knowing we were being stupidand I couldn’t run forever.
“Look, Ryan, I’m not mad at you.” I mumbled, scuffing my Chuck on the floor. “It’s not your fault. I’m just… too sensitive, sometimes. Too quick to run.”
I glanced up, then went right back to staring at the floor when I saw Ryan’s dark eyes locked on me.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t’ve said anything-” Ryan began, but I shook my head.
“It’s my fault.” I glanced up at him, trying a crooked smile. “My blame, get your own.”
Ryan grinned back, then crossed the room to hug me.
I immediately clung to him, nuzzling my face into his neck as he sighed gently into my hair, wrapping his arms securely around me. I took a surreptitious deep breath, having missed his unique scent as well as his yummy body spray. I had no idea what it was, but it was really addictive.
“So, you gonna come get soaked?” I grinned up at him, pulling away to meet his gaze.
I realized for the first time just how close his face was to mine, and I couldn’t stop my eyes from flickering to his lips,remembering how they felt on mine. Then I mentally slapped myself, my gaze already flashing back to Ryan’s.
“Let’s go, before Brendon hides all the good guns.” Ryan grinned, but I could have sworn his face got a little closer, so I let my own move towards him, and then I realized what was happening and pulled away, stepping out of his arms.
Stupid, stupid, stupid girl! What am I thinking? Why is nothing going on up there today? Thoughts screamed through my empty head as I grinned at Ryan.
“Dibs on the SuperSoaker.” I took off before he could even protest, tackling Pete when we finally got outside.

-X-

“That was… fun.” I huffed, falling into the grass once we’d all run out of wateragain.
“Yeah.” Brendon sighed, falling on top of me.
“Brendon! Get off!” I whined. “You’re all wet and heavy!”
Brendon pouted at me. “So I’m fat?”
“No, just too tall to sit on the anorexic kid!” I shoved at him, and he rolled off. “Yay, love you, Bden.” I hugged him, still laying in the grass, then flopped back onto my back.
“Don’t you love us?” Ryan asked, pouting as he walked up with Pete, standing right behind my head.
“Not really, no.” Brendon mumbled, his eyes closed, probably halfway asleep, until Pete dumped a water bottle on his head.
“Cold!” Brendon bolted upright, shaking out his hair as Ryan laughed.
“Pete! You were holding out on me?!” I feigned offence, and theshort man just snickered at my outrage.
“It’s ok. I’ve got you covered.” Ryan grinned, tossing me a water bottle, too.
“Ryan, I love you!” I ripped the top off and flicked the open bottle at Pete, splattering him with some of the icy water.
“I know.” Ryan smirked as Pete glared at him.
“Then you know you should run, too?” He growled.
“She’s the one who splashed you.” Ryan immediately threw me under the bus, but Pete was determined to get Ryan back.
“You’re the enabler.” Ryan’s grin slid off his face and he took off, Pete hot on his heels, cursing and yelling like a madman.
“Well, that was exciting.” I stretched, and Brendon fell back down on the grass beside me.
“Incredibly.” He mumbled, the two of us closing our eyes.

“Stop… stop… that’s cold. What the fuck?” Brendon had been giggling, then suddenly yelped and bolted upright, and I opened my eyes.
There was a large, longhaired puppy watching Brendon, sitting there, happily letting its tongue hang out.
“He’s so cute!” I squealed, picking her up. His long hair was a pretty even mix of red and black, and he had black paws, ears, and his muzzle was dark, too. He nosed my face, sniffing inquisitively before sneezing on me.
“He licked me!” Brendon sounded offended.
“That means he looooooves yoooouuuuu.” I sang, cuddling her. “’Cause he’s such a cutie!”
“Yeah, he is.” Brendon grinned, reaching over to ruffle his ears. The little thing licked his hand, making Brendon giggle.
“What should we call him?” I asked enthusiastically.
“Oh, don’t name it. You’ll just get attached.” Ryan groaned from the tree he was sitting under. He’d either lost Pete while we were asleep or Pete had gotten bored, but he was nowhere in sight.
“That’s the point. Gotta love him!” I grinned happily, as I ran my fingers through the thick hair on his neck. It was greasy and stringy, and completely devoid of a collar.
“Cinnamon!” Brendon exclaimed, and I looked at him.
“Not you, him!” Brendon pointed at the puppy.
“He is the right color…” I mumbled, considering it. “Yeah, that works.” I finally nodded.
“Cinnamon!” Brendon yelled, and the puppy looked at him. “He knows his name!” Brendon grinned.
“No, he only looked ‘cause you yelled. BATMAN!” Cinnamon titled his head and licked my face. “See?” I giggled.
“Maybe Batman’s a better name.” Brendon frowned.
“Definitely.” I agreed. “Who’s a little Batman? Who’s a cutie? Who’s wagging their tail?” I asked Batman, rubbing my nose against his again. “Who’s a messy boy who needs a bath?”
“Why are you washing it?” Ryan asked wearily. “You can’t keep it.”
“Says you!” Brendon retorted.
“Brendon, you can’t remember to feed yourself. How are you going to take care of a dog?” Ryan cocked an eyebrow, seeming almost amused.
“He’s mine.” I decided, and Brendon nodded sadly. I knew how to look out for others.
“But… you just pulled it off the streets. It could be insane, or sick, or rabid or something.” Ryan frowned at us, and Brendon stared at Ryan with wide eyes as I glared at him, clutching Batman closer to my chest as I narrowed my eyes.
“I’m off the streets. Yeah, I’m crazy, but I’m not exactly out to kill you all in your sleep. And I sure as Hell am not rabid.” I glared, and Ryan blanched.
“Cyn, I didn’t mean it that way-” He began apologetically.
“Save it, Ryan.” I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, then letting it out in a rush as I stood up. “See you later.”
Then I turned and started walking down the road, Batman secure in my arms, trying to lick my face.