The Punchline to the Joke Is Asking

Brendon and I were sitting side-by-side on the piano bench, banging away at the keys, our random noise slowly becoming a pattern, then a melody. A song.
We kept it up, adding nonsensical lyrics, gleefully shouting them out of tune, until someone came up behind us, draping his arms around our shoulders as he leaned in between us.
Ryan was grinning at our childish song, quickly kissing my forehead and pulling away before Brendon could make any sounds of disgust.
I couldn’t help but laugh as Brendon started picking on Ryan for being ‘gross, couple-y, and completely whipped’. Ryan just winked at me, making a sudden blush color my cheeks, and didn’t deny any of it.
Bzzzt
I opened my eyes, not wanting to leave my dream. Or memory. Whatever it was, it had happened, and I wanted to keep reliving it instead of finding out who was texting me.
Maybe it’s Ryan…
I was suddenly awake, grabbing up my phone and flipping it open savagely.
Haha, you’re awake Nope, just Johnny.
No thanks to you, Christ. I’ll crucify you later- I wanna get back to my awesome dream. :p I sent back with a sigh.
You mean it’s not about me? What could be better? Oooh, I know, maybe your boooooooyfriiiieeeend. Johnny was merciless today, apparently.
I didn’t dignify theshort man with a response, but he texted me again anyway. explosion in 5…4…3…2…
What- was all I had time to wonder before-
“What?” I heard Jimmy yelp from his room, then he burst into mine. I was staying with him for my two months of A7Xbonding time.
“What ‘what’?” I asked, confused.
“Johnny said you had a sex dream about your boyfriend!” Jimmy yelled, and I smacked my palm against my forehead.
“No, I didn’t.” Igroaned replied patiently.
“That’s not what Johnny said!”
“Jimmy, why would you believe anything he says?” I asked seriously, meeting his blue eyes. He had that ‘panickingdad’ look about him. You know, when they realize, ‘holy shit, I won’t be the only guy in her life and he’s going to fuck her and she’s going to run off and they’re going to elope in Vegas and I NEED TO STOP THIS MADNESS’.
Yup, that was all over his face.
“Well, he’s a midget, so he’s and elf, so he works for Santa, so he knows it’s bad to lie.” Jimmy frowned at me.
“Jimmy, that’s a lie, too. Johnny’s not an elf.” I informed him sadly. “He just didn’t want you to know he’s really a gnome.” I shook my head in sympathy for Christ; Jimmy would be merciless later.
“Really? Like the kinds in gardens with the pointy hats?” He asked in awe.
“Exactly like that. That’s why he’s afraid to grow a beard, you know. It’ll be long and grey and pointy.” Not only was I having fun convincing Jimmy of this, but Johnny was never going to live this down. Yeah, I’m a genius.
“Okay, so why did the gnome say you had a sex dream about your… boyfriend?” Jimmy seemed to force the word out, thinking that it was the hardest part of the conversation. Apparently he didn’t understand the word ‘awkward’.
“No, Johnny texted me and woke me up and I told him I’d crucify him after I finished my dream ‘cause it was awesome.” I explained patiently. “Johnny just assumed it was about Ryan.”
“Oh. Okay.” Jimmy grinned happily, then he suddenly eyed me seriously. “Was it about Bryan?”
“His name’s Ryan.” I sighed. “And what’s it matter?”
“OH MY GOD! IT WAS A SEX DREAM!”
“No!” I yelped, startled by Jimmy’s sudden outburst. “No, it was just… it was about this one time I was hanging out with Brendon and Ryan, okay?”
Jimmy stared at me for a moment, then smiled and nodded. “Okay.” I relaxed, then fell back onto my bed, pulling the covers back over me-
Then they abruptly disappeared.
“Why?” I groaned, curling into a ball on the sheets.
“Because I’m not letting that dream become a sex dream.” Jimmy chirped happily. “So come on, let’s see if we can make breakfast without burning the house down.”

When we started making breakfast, Jimmy put me in charge of the pancakes while he took over the eggs.
He almost dropped the carton when he opened it and found Zacky and I had Sharpied faces onto all of them, mostly terror, some trying to escape with the little arms we’d drawn on them. One was sobbing all over the place.
“I don’t know if I can eat the little egg people.” Jimmy mumbled sadly, staring into the carton.
“Fine. I have no such inhibitions.” I grabbed the carton and shoved the box of pancake mix into his hands, cracking the ‘dead’ egg with ‘x’ eyes into the pan, then placing the horrified egg next to the broken shell, snickering.
“You’re a cruel, horrible child that knows big words.” Jimmy pouted at me.
“You’re a tall, childish man who doesn’t know big words.” I stuck my tongue out at him, and he responded by throwing pancake powder mix at me. I blinked, then threw some back at him.

After our pancake mix war (that eventually involved the egg-people), we found ourselves with a huge mess and no breakfast.
“PopTarts and clean up?” Jimmy suggested, and I nodded, glad Jimmy was tall enough to reach the butter on the ceiling….

-X-

“Hey Short Shit.” I smirked at Johnny, who scowled. Just like he’d ordered, I gone and gotten taller; I now topped him by a full inch.
“Shut it, Jailbait.”
“Someone’s touchy.” I grinned, and he rolled his eyes at me. “Miss your naptime?”
“What’d he do to deserve this?” Brian leaned over to whisper to Matt, watching with interest. I’d been mercilessly after Johnny for days, and was having the time of my life.
“I have no idea.” Matt mumbled back as I snatched Johnny’s hat, holding it just out of his reach.
“Wassa matter, Short Shit? Don’t’chya want it back?” I giggled, twisting away from him until he tackled me.
“Ha!” He triumphantly settled the hat back on his head, still sitting on me. “What now, Jailbait?”
“I just sit here and smirk because I’m still taller.” I grinned happily, and Johnny looked ready to kill me.
“Okay, what happened?” Brian asked, looking between Johnny and I as Matt pickedthe gnome Johnny up and tossed him aside. The benefits of being ripped….
“I woke her up the other day.” Johnny pouted.
“From a really awesome dream, and when I said my dream was awesome, Johnny told Jimmy it was about…” I trailed off, not really wanting to say it. I mean, how awkward is that?
“About what?” Brian asked innocently, like he didn’t already figure it out. Mean, sadistic man.
“It was about her being all touchy-feely all over her boy toy.” Johnny said proudly.
“It was NOT!” I wailed, red faced as Brian and Matt roared with laughter. Then I tackled the snickering Johnny, pinning him facedown and twisting his arm behind his back. “Take it back!”
“Nope.” Johnny grinned, popping the ‘p’. His grin faded as I started to put more pressure on his arm. If I went far enough, I could dislocate his shoulder, even break it. But I was taking it slow, giving him time to cave.
“Take it back.” I sang with an evil, sadistic smile.
“No.” Johnny grunted. He was holding out.
“It’ll hurt when your shoulder breaks.” I warned, twisting even more and watching Johnny scowl.
“Fine. I take it back.” He finally growled, and I got off him with a satisfied smile, dusting myself off.
“You just got owned by Jailbait.” Matt was still snickering, and Johnny glared daggers at him as he rotated his shoulder. Wimp, I didn’t even dislocate it.
“What’d we miss?” Zacky asked, coming back downstairs from his ‘private, serious talk’ with Jimmy.
“Jailbait kicked Johnny’s ass.” Brian snorted, and Zacky high-fived me.
“Nicely done.” He grinned. He’d been a lot warmer to me this time around than when I’d originally joined up with Avenged Sevenfold. He said he just wanted to be nicer for a change, but Jimmy said it was because he’d missed me.
“Why’d you beat up the gnome?” Jimmy asked me, as if he were disappointed.
“Gnome?” Johnny growled through his gritted teeth as Brian, Matt, and Zacky laughed even harder.
“Because he keeps going on and on about that dream!” I whined sadly. “He won’t leave me alone.” This was a completely new approach for me, and I wanted to see just how far it would get me.
“Oh, just ignore him.” Jimmy swept me up into a tight hug, rocking me back and forth. “It’s okay, we can leave his body in a ditch somewhere, it’s not hard to find a bassist…”
“What?!” Johnny yelped in alarm.
“Okay, but I think a lake would be better.” I hugged Jimmy back, smiling happily, and heard Johnny whimper slightly as the rest of the guys laughedmaniacally.

-X-

“Ryan! I miss you!” I grinned into the phone. We’d been taking turns calling each other, and I’d practically tackled he dresser my phone was on when it rang.
Of course the first time it rang, it had been Johnny getting even with me again, so I’d just ignored the call. Now it really was Ryan,and I was ecstatic.
“I miss you, too, Cyn.” I could tell he had that crooked smile all over his face. The special one that was reserved for me. “Are you having fun?”
“Yup. I’m taller than Johnny now, and it’s fun to torture him.” I giggled. “How about you?”
“I dunno. It’s hard for me to have fun without my better half- you took all the mischief when you left.” Ryan teased, and I blushed, glad he couldn’t see me.
“Ryan, stop being so…” I wracked my brain for the right word. Cute? No… “sweet.” I finally finished, and he laughed.
“Nope, sorry, can’t do that.”
I sighed in frustration that was still, somehow, happy.
“Aw, you know you can’t stay mad at me.”
“As usual, Ryan Ross knows it all.” I rolled my eyes. “You’re so lucky I’m out of my mind.”
“What, are you saying a sane person wouldn’t love me?”
“Yeah, pretty much.” I smirked. “Like I said, you’re lucky I’m crazy.”

-X-

I snuggled closer to Ryan on the couch, loving the warm feelings flooding through my body as he shifted his arms around my waist to hold me even closer.
I couldn’t remember the name of the movie we were watching, or even what it was supposed to be about. It was stupid and cliché, but I was too focused on Ryan to pay much attention to the film.
Wake up and smell the roses, this won’t last. Nothing like this does.
I pushed the thought away and tried to focus on the TV to drown out the voice, but Ryan had other plans, running his hand through my hair. Distracting me in an even better way.
This won’t work out. I’m in too deep, and it’s going to hurt like a bitch when this is over. That’s why I have to get out first. Before he decides he’s through with me.
Not wanting to think about that, I sighed, closing my eyes, and felt Ryan’s lips press against my forehead, banishing all the upsetting thoughts. He made me feel so happy, safe, loved….
But for how long?
I opened my eyes, trying to force the thoughts away by focusing on the TV again, and found myself staring at a wall. What…?
Oh, it was just another dream.
I wondered why all those horrible thoughts were invading my favorite dreams, then realized it was because I still hadn’t decided what to do about my situation with Ryan.
I sat up in bed, biting my lip as my eyes fixed blindly on the scars on my arms, left exposed by my tank top.
Okay, what to do, what to do…
I ran over my options in my head, narrowing it down to a few.
-I could go on as I was, staying with Ryan and bouncing between him and A7X every two months
-I could stop bouncing and stay with Ryan
-I could break up with Ryan and stay with A7X-I could break up with Ryan and run
Not that last one. I want to be done with running.
I bit my lip, studying my remaining options. I knew that they weren’t my only ones, and it wasn’t written in stone that I had to break up with Ryan if I stayed with Avenged, but… it would be easier that way. We’d never see each other if I stayed here. So those were the options I wasable willing to consider.
I sighed, unable to sort through everything clearly in my head, and grabbed a pencil and a notebook, making a ‘pros’ and ‘cons’ column for each option.
Let’s sort this out.

-X-

I bit my lip, staring at the columns and the clear winner, not sure if it was what I wanted.
It might not be what I want, but it’s better in the long run. So that means I want it. That mindset had always convinced me in the past, and now I set my shoulders resolutely. I would do this, because this was best for me. For both of us.
Hesitantly, I picked up my phone, clicking through it slowly until it stopped at a certain, specific contact.
Ryan. That was it, no cheesy heart or lame smiley face. Just a name.
And yet, it was still somehow more important than the other contacts. In my mind, it still stood out.
My thumb seemed to be stalling of its own accord, gently stroking the ‘call’ button, when my door banged open.
I immediately snapped my phone shut, tossing it on top of the list I’d made.
“Come on, Cyn, we need a cheering section for band practice!” Zacky grabbed me up and tossed me over his shoulder almost before I realized what he’d said.
“Okay, but I don’t do pom-poms and short skirts.”
Zacky just laughed, carrying me downstairs, where he and Jimmy loaded me into his truck and headed off for Matt’s place.
A little procrastination never hurt anyone.