The Punchline to the Joke Is Asking

Jimmy glanced up at me and bit his lip. “It’s… it’s okay if you don’t want me to.” He mumbled, misinterpreting my silence as I stared at him, wide-eyed.
“No, Jimmy, it’s not that, I’m just…” Surprised. Shocked.Terrified. “Wow.” I shook my head slowly, suddenly realizing just what was so fascinating about the old tabletop. “I didn’t think it’d be anything like that.”
Jimmy grinned a little bit. “What were you expecting?”
I met his grin with one of my own. Being told to leave. “I have no idea.”
Jimmy shook his head in amusement. “And I thought teenagers knew everything. I’m disappointed, Cyn.”
“Hey, I never said I knew everything. Just most of it.” I stuck my tongue out at him, and Jimmy leaned forward, resting his chin on one hand.
“Yeah? And what do you know?” He challenged, cocking an eyebrow.
“The sky is made of marmalade.” I nodded with complete conviction.
Jimmy laughed, and we sat in silence for a moment until Jimmy bit his lip and looked at me.
“I know I didn’t answer, but you can’t pretend the guys aren’t listening through the door.” I whispered, nodding back towards the living room. Jimmy snickered quietly, agreeing.
“Let’s go outside and talk about this.” I suggested, getting up and moving towards the door, Jimmy following quietly.
Once we were outside, we grinned and congratulated each other on our ninja-ness before sitting on the grass. I knew I had to be out here for a reason, but Jimmy’s question had knocked that train of thought right out of my head.

After sitting in silence for a few minutes, Jimmy still hadn’t asked me for an answer. That was one of the best thing about him; even though he was so immature and crazy, he always knew when I needed space, or needed a hug, or just needed to be distracted by him pantsing Zacky.
“Jimmy?” I finally choked out. My voice was quiet and shaky, almost as much as my hands, which I clenched into fists to steady.
“Yeah?” Jimmy’s voice was equally quiet, not like the little voice in my head.
NO! NO! Do I not REALIZE how stupid this is?! Didn’t I go through this? FAMILY?!
RUN!
“Are you… Is this…” I ran my hand through my hair, then tore my gaze away from the grass, biting my lip as I looked at him. “You really want me?”
Jimmy stared at me for a moment, then slowly smiled and pulled me into him. “Yeah, I really do.”
I wanted to say something poetic and beautiful, maybe even cliché, but all I could do was smile, hug him tightly, and nod silently into his chest.
I wanted him, too.

-X-

I chewed lightly on my lip as I listened to the ring back. Of course it was ‘Dance Dance’. I smiled a little, rolling my eyes, when the familiar bass line cut off right as I was about to sing along.
“Yello?” Asked a familiar voice, and I could almost hear him grinning. “To what do I owe this surprising honor?”
“Hey Pete.” I grinned softly. “I figured you’d kill me if I didn’t tell you first, but-”
“You are NOT eloping with Synyster Gates.” Pete cut in, obviously alarmed.
“No! Why would you think that?” I gasped, completely distracted.
“Oh, no reason. I just wanted to hear you freak out again.” Pete was obviously smirking, and if I could get through the phone we both knew I’d have tackled him already. “Now, what’s so important?” He was suddenly serious, all traces of teasing gone.
“Well, it’s not quite eloping, but…”

-X-

I sighed, cuddling closer to the warm body next to me, feeling a strong pair of arms holding me gently. I was safe here, so warm and happy. Most of all, I was loved. I loved this. I loved him. He loved me. We were in love. We were love. Perfect. Together. Forever.
I felt him stir beside me, but I didn’t let go of Ryan. I knew I’d have to wake up if I did, and I just wanted to stay here, all day, all night, all year, for the rest of my life…
“Cyn,” He called gently. “Cyn, it’s time to wake up.”
“I don’t wanna.” I pulled myself even closer- well, I tried. He pushed me away.
I opened my eyes, staring up at him in surprise, and saw his brown eyes, usually so welcoming, were cold and empty. Lifeless. Loveless.
My heart faltered, then stuttered, beating a sharp staccato in my throat as my stomach dropped away, possibly all the way to Hell. It sure felt far enough.
“But Cyn, you have to wake up. You’re leaving today.”
This wasn’t how that day went. Yeah he said that, but he didn’t look at me like that. He’d been sad, upset to see me go, but supportive.
He’d loved me.
”Remember?” He continued, his voice unnaturally flat, unaware of my mental tangent. “You’re leaving. You’re leaving me today.”
With a gasp, I bolted upright to lean over him, to tell him that I would never, ever leave him, to tell him for the first time that I loved him, really, honestly, head-over-heels loved him, but-
When my eyes shot open and I was sitting upright, I found myself alone in my room in Jimmy’s house, already gone.

-X-

I couldn’t put it off anymore; I had to call Ryan. I knew what I had to do.
I swallowed nervously, biting my lip as I waited for him to answer his phone.
One ring.
Did I really want to do this?
Another ring.
I miss him so much already. What if knowing I can’t ever go home ot him makes it worse?
Third one.
There has to be another way.
Four.
I know how to survive: minimize the casualties. I have to get out while I can, before I’m in too deep to recover from this.
Five.
I need to do this. I can do this. I will do this.
Six- cut off abruptly.
“Hey,” I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face when I heard his voice, and I started to respond before gettng cut off. “I can’t answer, sorry, I’ll call you back soon.”
I let my eyes close in disappointment, shutting the phone before I could even hear the tone.