Status: DONE!
Our Destiny is Unknown
Chapt. 10
“Ms. Mairiano?”
“Yes?” That feeling of queasiness and off balance hit me again. What is going on?
Silence.
“Yes? I’m Ms. Mairiano how can I help you?”
“I am sorry to inform you but…” Here came the blow I tried to steel myself but I just couldn’t. My breathing quickened and my heart sank.
“… but your fiancé has died in war.”
Icing on the cake. Everything in me just stopped. I released Taylors hand and just stood there with a blank stare. I can’t believe it. I have planned this day out time and time again. I have been praying for God to bring the day Luke got to see his son as quick as he could.
“Ma’am? Are you okay? Do you need to sit?”
…
“Ma’am? Ma’am?”
I could hear them saying ‘ma’am’ but I just could not draw myself from this broken state I was in. I kept trying to pull and pull but I couldn’t. When the realization finally broke through this steel wall I had up, I felt my knees try and give out and the tears just poured down. I sat down to ease the stress on my knees and when I did Taylor and the two men walked over to me and watched me bury my face in my hands and just shake and cry. I tried to calm myself but the more I tried the more I cried. And the more I cried the louder that little voice in my head got saying ‘I told you. Had you have listened and your steel wall would have been thicker.’ When I started gaining my composure Taylor laid his small arms around me and was rubbing my back saying “Mommy, don’t cwry. Daddy will be hewre soon.” With that I raised my head and just looked at his tiny face and pulled him in for the biggest hug I had ever given him. When he pulled away he started wiping my tears away and just looked at me so innocently I couldn’t help but cry and smile at the same time. After I picked him up and put him on my lap the officers looked at me and asked if I was going to tell him. I guess I didn’t really think of telling him with him being 4 and not understanding. I looked at them with complete and utter shock. How do they expect me to tell my 4 year old son that his father, his hero who he’s never met is dead? That this man he’s been looking forward to meeting for a very long time won’t ever wake up and see his son’s face? How can they expect me to do this? I turned to Taylor and started combing his hair with my fingers while I was preparing myself to tell him. I gripped his hand and the tears started to swell up in my eyes.
“Taylor, honey I need you to try and understand what I’m about to say. Daddy got hurt really bad and well, uh well he’s dead.” Now Taylor has always been a smart kid but what he said to me reminded me of how naïve and innocent he really is.
“Dat’s otay mommy. We can see him tomowwow. Don’t cwry. We can just come back and pick him up.” when Taylor said this my head completely shattered.
“If only that were the case, baby. If only.” The tears spilled over and Taylor just wrapped his arms around me and I just rocked.
“Yes?” That feeling of queasiness and off balance hit me again. What is going on?
Silence.
“Yes? I’m Ms. Mairiano how can I help you?”
“I am sorry to inform you but…” Here came the blow I tried to steel myself but I just couldn’t. My breathing quickened and my heart sank.
“… but your fiancé has died in war.”
Icing on the cake. Everything in me just stopped. I released Taylors hand and just stood there with a blank stare. I can’t believe it. I have planned this day out time and time again. I have been praying for God to bring the day Luke got to see his son as quick as he could.
“Ma’am? Are you okay? Do you need to sit?”
…
“Ma’am? Ma’am?”
I could hear them saying ‘ma’am’ but I just could not draw myself from this broken state I was in. I kept trying to pull and pull but I couldn’t. When the realization finally broke through this steel wall I had up, I felt my knees try and give out and the tears just poured down. I sat down to ease the stress on my knees and when I did Taylor and the two men walked over to me and watched me bury my face in my hands and just shake and cry. I tried to calm myself but the more I tried the more I cried. And the more I cried the louder that little voice in my head got saying ‘I told you. Had you have listened and your steel wall would have been thicker.’ When I started gaining my composure Taylor laid his small arms around me and was rubbing my back saying “Mommy, don’t cwry. Daddy will be hewre soon.” With that I raised my head and just looked at his tiny face and pulled him in for the biggest hug I had ever given him. When he pulled away he started wiping my tears away and just looked at me so innocently I couldn’t help but cry and smile at the same time. After I picked him up and put him on my lap the officers looked at me and asked if I was going to tell him. I guess I didn’t really think of telling him with him being 4 and not understanding. I looked at them with complete and utter shock. How do they expect me to tell my 4 year old son that his father, his hero who he’s never met is dead? That this man he’s been looking forward to meeting for a very long time won’t ever wake up and see his son’s face? How can they expect me to do this? I turned to Taylor and started combing his hair with my fingers while I was preparing myself to tell him. I gripped his hand and the tears started to swell up in my eyes.
“Taylor, honey I need you to try and understand what I’m about to say. Daddy got hurt really bad and well, uh well he’s dead.” Now Taylor has always been a smart kid but what he said to me reminded me of how naïve and innocent he really is.
“Dat’s otay mommy. We can see him tomowwow. Don’t cwry. We can just come back and pick him up.” when Taylor said this my head completely shattered.
“If only that were the case, baby. If only.” The tears spilled over and Taylor just wrapped his arms around me and I just rocked.