Danger Line

Matt, Eli and I arrived at the studio. I could tell Eli was nervous. I gave him a sweet smile and comforting words telling him my friends would love him. He smiled back to me. Matt assured him as well too. It was so nice to have them get along. I thought Matt was always going to oppose of my close relationship with Eli, but he showed me he could be mature.

When we got to the studio itself, Jimmy was doing some drumming and the rest of the guys were lounged out on the couches. They all looked at us when we walked, and sure enough they looked at Eli with curious looks.

“Hey guys,” Matt greeted them and so did I.

I gave them a hug and a peck on the cheek.

“Guys, this is my very good friend Eli,” I told them. “Eli these are my friends, Brian, Zacky, and Johnny. Jimmy is doing some drumming.”

Eli shook all of their hands. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“You too,” Brian said and looked over to me. “So, how do you know, Kari?”

“We were stationed together two years ago,” Eli explained and the rest of them just got what he meant.

“Ohhhh,” they all said and nodded.

“Welcome!” Brian shook his hand again.

“Thanks,” Eli smiled.

I was glad my friends welcomed him so well. Eli was important in my life and they seem to accept that. I was just happy they did.

I watched as Jimmy did some heavy drumming. He started to look like an octopus. I smiled. He was a pure genius when it came to music.

“So that’s Jimmy,” Eli said beside me.

“Yeah.”

“He’s so good,” Eli said. “I’ve never seen a drummer do that.”

“He’s been practicing,” I joked and bumped hip with Eli. “I learned to play drums from him.”

“Great teacher.”

“Not really,” I chuckled. “He was hard on me. He wanted me to be good.”

“And?”

“And I’m damn good,” I laughed.

Eli did too. “You have an amazing circle of friends. You know, you should come over to my place some time and meet my friends.”

“Do I get to finally meet the girl you had a crush on but didn’t have the guts to say anything?” I said.

Eli blushed. “She’s actually married.”

“Oh, Eli, I’m so sorry,” I placed my hand on his shoulder.

“It’s all right,” he said and then placed an arm around my shoulder. “I have you.”

I laughed. “You’ll always have me.”

When Jimmy was done he joined us, and he was sweaty. He still gave me a hug and shook Eli’s hand.

“I’m going to stink like you, Sullivan,” I groaned.

“I smell great,” Jimmy grinned. “I smell like pure genius. I fucking did the double ride thing!”

“I saw,” I grinned. “You have to teach me that.”

“You bet!”

After the studio, Eli went home. I promised him I would visit him to meet his friends. Matt took me to the nearest pharmacy to get my sleeping pills. While we waited for my pills to be ready, we walked around the store and we ended up in the magazine section.

On the cover of a Times magazine I saw a soldier who had lost his legs during war. The issue was about soldiers who returned home with physical injuries. I was lucky not to have lost a limb. Yet, the mental trauma I had made me feel like I was handicapped already.

I only functioned because I forced myself. If it was up to me, I would lie in bed all day. I would drink away all of the horrible memories, but I had a husband and a child, not to mention a whole family who I had to think about.

It was a constant struggle.

“Hey,” Matt said softly next to me and took away the magazine and placed it back on the stand, “look what I found.” He handed me the Vogue magazine. He knew I liked fashion.

“Thank you,” I said and flipped through the magazine to see the new fashion.

We waited another fifteen minutes, and then we got my pills. I was told I could not drink with alcohol and that I should make sure I have eight hours of sleep.

Matt and I picked up Damien from school and then went home. I helped Damien with his homework. He just had to trace the lettering from A-H. After Damien did his homework, I told him he could play in his room until dinner was ready.

He gave me a peck on the cheek and ran upstairs. I went to the kitchen and saw Matt already starting dinner. I helped him. It was something that I never thought would happen.

Matt and I were in the middle of making dinner when the house phone rang.

“I’ll get it,” I wiped my hands clean. I picked up the house phone and answered. “Hello?”

“Kari? It’s Whitney,” Whitney said.

“Hi,” I said nicely, “how are you?”

“I’m good. I just wanted to know if you wanted to be part of my wedding planning. Bethany and the others are bride maids and I just wanted to know if you wanted to be one.”

“I’d be honored,” I smiled.

“That’s great! So, you can come to Zacky’s over around the afternoon?” she asked.

“Of course, I’ll be there,” I said.

“Thank you, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” she said happily.

“Bye, good night.”

“Good night.”

I placed the phone back and went to the kitchen.

“Who was it?” Matt asked.

“It was Whitney. She wants me to be a bride’s maid.”

Matt smiled. “Zacky told me Whitney wanted to ask you, but she wasn’t sure if it was too soon.”

“I’m happy to be in their wedding. Zacky has never looked so happy,” I said to Matt.

“I know,” he replied. “When he first met her, he never took his eyes off of her. It was kind of corny.”

I chuckled. “I wouldn’t talk about corny, Matt.”

He grinned. “Maybe men just turn corny when they find their soul mates.”

After dinner, we all watched TV until it was bed time for Damien. I put him to sleep.

“A song mommy?” he asked with pout on his lips.

He was so adorable and I wanted to say yes, but I couldn’t.

I shook my head slightly. “Mommy’s tired.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, babe,” I kissed his forehead and went to his door and turned off the light. I left the door slightly open. Matt was on the other side of the hallway.

“Good night,” I told him.

“Good night,” he replied.

I went to my room and he went to ours. I saw a glass of water next to my bed. I took the sleeping pills and then got into bed.

Ten minutes later I was fast asleep.

Then the nightmare started. I started to relive one of the worst tortures I experienced. I was being constantly whipped and told many curses in their language. I was told I was a whore. I was told I was nothing. I didn’t care for their words.

I knew it was dream and I wanted to wake up, but it was like I was trapped. I couldn’t wake up. I just kept experiencing the torture over and over again. I started to cry. I couldn’t wake up and I was starting to believe that I was back in the cave for real again. That I never got out. I was never rescued which meant I didn’t really have my son back.

Somehow, the thought of Damien gave me the strength to wake up. I woke up in a gasp and shot straight up in the bed. Like how people did in movies. I was sweating and my heart was racing. My eyes were watery. I laid back down on the bed and checked the time. It was five in the morning.

It felt like a lot longer in there. I went to the bathroom at once and checked that the wounds on my back were dry. They were. I placed my shirt back down and went back to bed. I felt the heaviness of the sleep from the pills, but I didn’t want to relive that again.

So, I didn’t go back to sleep.